give
Chapter 26:
It was a cloudy and rainy night, and I felt a little pain in my heart, so I called the servants who were guarding me to find Master.Now Master basically does not appear in front of me once a day, because he is going to find Zhu Yu, that terrible thing.
This is good for me but not good at the same time.
When Master came back, I was already much better. Master anxiously checked my pulse: "How do you feel?"
"Feeling better now."
"It's okay, I'm going to make medicine..."
In the past, I just didn't drink the medicine because I thought it was not good to drink. Now I don't want to drink the medicine anymore because the master has increased the blood he cut into the medicine, and the whole medicine is so smelly that it is hard to swallow.
I wanted to call out to Master but finally I gave up.
Day by day, I actually became "well" again, with normal skin and normal complexion, which seems strange, but it doesn't seem strange at all.
Sometimes I wonder if one day I die, will I go to hell, if one day I die, will I be thrown into the frying pan, is there any bridge of helplessness in this world?
At this time, the master was ready to come in with the medicine.
"Yue'er drank the medicine..." Master's tone was very gentle.
I asked, "Master, do you think there is hell in this world?"
Master was stunned, and then resolutely said: "How could there be, how could such a thing as hell exist!"
I suddenly felt that I was so stupid, of course Master would say no more, of course he would.
I took the medicine from Master and drank it.
"In three days, I'll take Yue'er to Huachan Temple to worship, okay? I heard it's very spiritual."
I raised my eyes and looked at Master: "Do you find it useful?"
I have worshiped so many Bodhisattvas and Buddhas since I was a child, and it has never been of any use.
Master said: "There will always be a little use, there will always be."
"Whatever you want, I won't go anyway!"
The master does not believe in Buddhism, but every time he passes by a temple, he will go to worship.
"Alas—" Master sighed deeply, "It would be great if I found Zhu Yu."
I felt that the medicine was a bit bitter, "Master, I want to eat sugar."
"Okay." Master found a candy and stuffed it into my mouth, and his tongue slipped in by the way.
I looked at Master in fear.
The master's face is handsome but his tongue is slippery, the master's movements are gentle but his hands are cold.
"don't want……"
I kicked and beat Master.
"I love you, I really love you." Master's words were like poisonous snakes trying to eat me and kill me bit by bit.
"Please... don't..."
Fear, this is rambling fear.
Today, Master and I took the last step.
Afterwards, I thought about it for a long time.
what is love?
This question has always troubled me.
What is love?
I stroked Master's face lightly, stroked Master's hair lightly, and finally I put my fingers on Master's lips.
"what is love?"
Master still fell asleep and did not wake up.
"what is love?"
I gently moved my fingers away from Master's lips.
Master always said that he loves me, he loves me to the bone, but I never seem to understand what love is, and Master has never taught me what love is.
I patted Master's face, and then patted Master's face again.
"...What's the matter?" Master was a little sleepy.
"what is love?"
Master looked at me in bewilderment.
Then he seemed to wake up a bit, and he said, "Love?"
I looked into Master's eyes and nodded.
"What is love..." Master patted my head and muttered to himself.
I felt that Master seemed to be thinking about how to answer my question, but also seemed to be thinking about how not to answer my question.
Finally Master kissed my eyes.
"this is Love."
this is Love……
I am confused, even more confused than before. I really don't understand love, I really don't understand.
But what is love?
I don’t know if it’s Master’s eyes or not, but there is a voice deep in my heart answering, no, absolutely not.
I touched Master's heart, why didn't you tell me what love is?Why don't you teach me what love is?
why?
I kissed the eyes of the master just like the master, and then I shook my head in the surprise of the master, this is not love, no.
Then I lay down on top of Master's heart.
Master's hand stroked my hair, and then he kissed me, Master's lips were very hot, I felt slippery and disgusting...
I pushed away Master's head, climbed to the top of Master's heart and stopped talking.
I don't like kissing very much, although every time I play such a game with him he is willing to promise me things that he would not normally promise me, but I know it is wrong.Incorrect.
I looked at the gray sky through the window and stopped talking.
Some people say that life is a game of chess, it doesn't matter who plays the first move, what matters is who plays the last move.
But I will never be the one who makes the last move...isn't it?
Suddenly one night, Lin Ruoxi, whom I had never seen before, appeared beside my bed.
I stared blankly at Lin Ruoxi, watching the prickly red blood flow down from his forehead, flow through his eyes, the bridge of his nose, and finally fall onto the black ground.
"Lin Ruoxi, what's wrong with you?"
"It's okay..." Lin Ruoxi smiled, very gentle, very gentle.
He wiped off the blood on his forehead with his hands, and then pointed to the wound on his forehead: "Look, isn't there no bleeding?"
I stared blankly at Lin Ruoxi's forehead, it wasn't that there was no blood, the blood flowed out from there again.
I pointed there with my finger: "Blood, red..."
Lin Ruoxi frowned, tore open her sleeve and tied the torn cloth on her forehead, just enough to cover the wound.
"Look, it's over, what do you want to say..." Lin Ruoxi's tone was very gentle, very gentle.
"Lin Ruoxi..." I looked at him quietly, "Aren't you in pain?"
I stroked his forehead gently with my hand.
"It must be painful..."
A slender hand gently held mine.
"No pain."
I was stunned and lightly stroked Lin Ruoxi's forehead with the other one, and then pressed it hard.
Lin Ruoxi's smile stopped abruptly.
"what!"
I stood aside and looked at Lin Ruoxi quietly, watching him clutching his forehead in pain.
"Master did it, right?"
I gently asked Lin Ruoxi.
Lin Ruoxi didn't say a word.
I know, I already know the answer.
Lin Ruoxi...
"You go," I said, "or you will die."
I have never met anyone who can survive the Master's hands, never.
Although Lin Ruoxi was still alive after being slapped a few times by her master, Lin Ruoxi would not be her master's opponent, absolutely not.Once the master wants to kill Lin Ruoxi, then Lin Ruoxi will definitely die, definitely die.
I don't want Lin Ruoxi to die, really, I don't.
"Yue'er...I..."
"Let's go."
Lin Ruoxi looked at me and then stood without saying a word.
"Come with me, your master is really crazy."
Yes, Master, he is really crazy. All I know is just pretending not to know.
"No, I can't go now." I can't go all the time.
"Then come with me to a place, I always want you to see that place."
I looked at this quaint courtyard quietly.
It's really strange that Lin Ruoxi would actually build a house in such a deep mountain and old forest.
This place is too flustered, such a beautiful place looks like a grave.
"What kind of flower is this?" I pointed to a small purple flower in the yard and asked Lin Ruoxi.
Lin Ruoxi looked at it and then shook her head: "The flowers here are all taken care of by dumb servants. I've never seen this type of flower before. Maybe it's just a kind of weed."
"Why is this house built here?" It was lifeless, and it made people feel a little...
"This place is deserted, and basically there is no human habitation. If there are fewer people, this place will naturally be "safe"."
I looked at Lin Ruoxi strangely: "Why do you say it is safe?" Lin Ruoxi said to me: "Yueer, the Lin family is different from ordinary families. Each generation of the Lin family can only live one child. Our elders taught us to fight and kill, and the object of our practice is that our brothers and sisters have no choice but to live or die, and the surviving child will become the patriarch of the Lin family. So, I have many enemies.”
I froze, and then I asked, "Why did you bring me here."
"Because I want to take a look here... This is my home, my real home, so I want to take a look, take a look here. You... Do you like this place?" Lin Ruoxi looked around Looking around, his eyes began to gradually become psychedelic.
It was a long, long time later that I knew Lin Ruoxi's deep feelings at this time, but unfortunately, at this time, I thought I would never know.
Lin Ruoxi said that he specially prepared a room here for me to see.I followed Lin Ruoxi to a beautiful room.
"This is..." I looked at this room in surprise, with green curtains, green curtains, and green tables... This is simply a green world.
"My mother likes green. This is the room I prepared for her. It's a pity that she went west of Hexi before staying there for the last time."
"Then what do you mean you brought me here?"
"Yue'er... burn it for me!"
Frowning: "Why?"
"Because—" Lin Ruoxi's voice began to drift, "I won't feel sorry if you burned it."
I looked around and nodded.
I asked Lin Ruoxi for flint stones and oil to burn this room down.
Although I don't understand why Lin Ruoxi wants to burn this room down, I'm still willing to help Lin Ruoxi.Why, because I haven't burned down a house yet.
I am indeed a fearless person, and I have done many bad things.However, I haven't really burned down a house.
Lin Ruoxi walked to the side, saying that she was afraid that if she saw me burning the house, she wouldn't be able to resist doing stupid things like saving the house, and went to a place where she couldn't see the house.
I carefully poured the oil on the important structures in the room. After using up two full tanks of oil, I walked out of the house and threw a piece of flint into it.
The fire quickly grew.
Watching the fire getting bigger and bigger, I gradually became a little dazed.
If it's my mother's stuff, will I burn it?
No, definitely not!
"Will you really not regret it in the future?" I asked Lin Ruoxi, hoping to hear from his mouth.
But Lin Ruoxi just shook her head without saying a word.
I think he will regret it in the future, after all, it belongs to mother!
"Yue'er, are you interested in taking a look at this place with me?" Lin Ruoxi smiled, "This is really a good place."
"Do you think this place is like a paradise?" I asked Lin Ruoxi.
Lin Ruoxi was stunned and chewed the words "Xanadu", and after a while the corner of his mouth curled up.
"Here it is."
This is good for me but not good at the same time.
When Master came back, I was already much better. Master anxiously checked my pulse: "How do you feel?"
"Feeling better now."
"It's okay, I'm going to make medicine..."
In the past, I just didn't drink the medicine because I thought it was not good to drink. Now I don't want to drink the medicine anymore because the master has increased the blood he cut into the medicine, and the whole medicine is so smelly that it is hard to swallow.
I wanted to call out to Master but finally I gave up.
Day by day, I actually became "well" again, with normal skin and normal complexion, which seems strange, but it doesn't seem strange at all.
Sometimes I wonder if one day I die, will I go to hell, if one day I die, will I be thrown into the frying pan, is there any bridge of helplessness in this world?
At this time, the master was ready to come in with the medicine.
"Yue'er drank the medicine..." Master's tone was very gentle.
I asked, "Master, do you think there is hell in this world?"
Master was stunned, and then resolutely said: "How could there be, how could such a thing as hell exist!"
I suddenly felt that I was so stupid, of course Master would say no more, of course he would.
I took the medicine from Master and drank it.
"In three days, I'll take Yue'er to Huachan Temple to worship, okay? I heard it's very spiritual."
I raised my eyes and looked at Master: "Do you find it useful?"
I have worshiped so many Bodhisattvas and Buddhas since I was a child, and it has never been of any use.
Master said: "There will always be a little use, there will always be."
"Whatever you want, I won't go anyway!"
The master does not believe in Buddhism, but every time he passes by a temple, he will go to worship.
"Alas—" Master sighed deeply, "It would be great if I found Zhu Yu."
I felt that the medicine was a bit bitter, "Master, I want to eat sugar."
"Okay." Master found a candy and stuffed it into my mouth, and his tongue slipped in by the way.
I looked at Master in fear.
The master's face is handsome but his tongue is slippery, the master's movements are gentle but his hands are cold.
"don't want……"
I kicked and beat Master.
"I love you, I really love you." Master's words were like poisonous snakes trying to eat me and kill me bit by bit.
"Please... don't..."
Fear, this is rambling fear.
Today, Master and I took the last step.
Afterwards, I thought about it for a long time.
what is love?
This question has always troubled me.
What is love?
I stroked Master's face lightly, stroked Master's hair lightly, and finally I put my fingers on Master's lips.
"what is love?"
Master still fell asleep and did not wake up.
"what is love?"
I gently moved my fingers away from Master's lips.
Master always said that he loves me, he loves me to the bone, but I never seem to understand what love is, and Master has never taught me what love is.
I patted Master's face, and then patted Master's face again.
"...What's the matter?" Master was a little sleepy.
"what is love?"
Master looked at me in bewilderment.
Then he seemed to wake up a bit, and he said, "Love?"
I looked into Master's eyes and nodded.
"What is love..." Master patted my head and muttered to himself.
I felt that Master seemed to be thinking about how to answer my question, but also seemed to be thinking about how not to answer my question.
Finally Master kissed my eyes.
"this is Love."
this is Love……
I am confused, even more confused than before. I really don't understand love, I really don't understand.
But what is love?
I don’t know if it’s Master’s eyes or not, but there is a voice deep in my heart answering, no, absolutely not.
I touched Master's heart, why didn't you tell me what love is?Why don't you teach me what love is?
why?
I kissed the eyes of the master just like the master, and then I shook my head in the surprise of the master, this is not love, no.
Then I lay down on top of Master's heart.
Master's hand stroked my hair, and then he kissed me, Master's lips were very hot, I felt slippery and disgusting...
I pushed away Master's head, climbed to the top of Master's heart and stopped talking.
I don't like kissing very much, although every time I play such a game with him he is willing to promise me things that he would not normally promise me, but I know it is wrong.Incorrect.
I looked at the gray sky through the window and stopped talking.
Some people say that life is a game of chess, it doesn't matter who plays the first move, what matters is who plays the last move.
But I will never be the one who makes the last move...isn't it?
Suddenly one night, Lin Ruoxi, whom I had never seen before, appeared beside my bed.
I stared blankly at Lin Ruoxi, watching the prickly red blood flow down from his forehead, flow through his eyes, the bridge of his nose, and finally fall onto the black ground.
"Lin Ruoxi, what's wrong with you?"
"It's okay..." Lin Ruoxi smiled, very gentle, very gentle.
He wiped off the blood on his forehead with his hands, and then pointed to the wound on his forehead: "Look, isn't there no bleeding?"
I stared blankly at Lin Ruoxi's forehead, it wasn't that there was no blood, the blood flowed out from there again.
I pointed there with my finger: "Blood, red..."
Lin Ruoxi frowned, tore open her sleeve and tied the torn cloth on her forehead, just enough to cover the wound.
"Look, it's over, what do you want to say..." Lin Ruoxi's tone was very gentle, very gentle.
"Lin Ruoxi..." I looked at him quietly, "Aren't you in pain?"
I stroked his forehead gently with my hand.
"It must be painful..."
A slender hand gently held mine.
"No pain."
I was stunned and lightly stroked Lin Ruoxi's forehead with the other one, and then pressed it hard.
Lin Ruoxi's smile stopped abruptly.
"what!"
I stood aside and looked at Lin Ruoxi quietly, watching him clutching his forehead in pain.
"Master did it, right?"
I gently asked Lin Ruoxi.
Lin Ruoxi didn't say a word.
I know, I already know the answer.
Lin Ruoxi...
"You go," I said, "or you will die."
I have never met anyone who can survive the Master's hands, never.
Although Lin Ruoxi was still alive after being slapped a few times by her master, Lin Ruoxi would not be her master's opponent, absolutely not.Once the master wants to kill Lin Ruoxi, then Lin Ruoxi will definitely die, definitely die.
I don't want Lin Ruoxi to die, really, I don't.
"Yue'er...I..."
"Let's go."
Lin Ruoxi looked at me and then stood without saying a word.
"Come with me, your master is really crazy."
Yes, Master, he is really crazy. All I know is just pretending not to know.
"No, I can't go now." I can't go all the time.
"Then come with me to a place, I always want you to see that place."
I looked at this quaint courtyard quietly.
It's really strange that Lin Ruoxi would actually build a house in such a deep mountain and old forest.
This place is too flustered, such a beautiful place looks like a grave.
"What kind of flower is this?" I pointed to a small purple flower in the yard and asked Lin Ruoxi.
Lin Ruoxi looked at it and then shook her head: "The flowers here are all taken care of by dumb servants. I've never seen this type of flower before. Maybe it's just a kind of weed."
"Why is this house built here?" It was lifeless, and it made people feel a little...
"This place is deserted, and basically there is no human habitation. If there are fewer people, this place will naturally be "safe"."
I looked at Lin Ruoxi strangely: "Why do you say it is safe?" Lin Ruoxi said to me: "Yueer, the Lin family is different from ordinary families. Each generation of the Lin family can only live one child. Our elders taught us to fight and kill, and the object of our practice is that our brothers and sisters have no choice but to live or die, and the surviving child will become the patriarch of the Lin family. So, I have many enemies.”
I froze, and then I asked, "Why did you bring me here."
"Because I want to take a look here... This is my home, my real home, so I want to take a look, take a look here. You... Do you like this place?" Lin Ruoxi looked around Looking around, his eyes began to gradually become psychedelic.
It was a long, long time later that I knew Lin Ruoxi's deep feelings at this time, but unfortunately, at this time, I thought I would never know.
Lin Ruoxi said that he specially prepared a room here for me to see.I followed Lin Ruoxi to a beautiful room.
"This is..." I looked at this room in surprise, with green curtains, green curtains, and green tables... This is simply a green world.
"My mother likes green. This is the room I prepared for her. It's a pity that she went west of Hexi before staying there for the last time."
"Then what do you mean you brought me here?"
"Yue'er... burn it for me!"
Frowning: "Why?"
"Because—" Lin Ruoxi's voice began to drift, "I won't feel sorry if you burned it."
I looked around and nodded.
I asked Lin Ruoxi for flint stones and oil to burn this room down.
Although I don't understand why Lin Ruoxi wants to burn this room down, I'm still willing to help Lin Ruoxi.Why, because I haven't burned down a house yet.
I am indeed a fearless person, and I have done many bad things.However, I haven't really burned down a house.
Lin Ruoxi walked to the side, saying that she was afraid that if she saw me burning the house, she wouldn't be able to resist doing stupid things like saving the house, and went to a place where she couldn't see the house.
I carefully poured the oil on the important structures in the room. After using up two full tanks of oil, I walked out of the house and threw a piece of flint into it.
The fire quickly grew.
Watching the fire getting bigger and bigger, I gradually became a little dazed.
If it's my mother's stuff, will I burn it?
No, definitely not!
"Will you really not regret it in the future?" I asked Lin Ruoxi, hoping to hear from his mouth.
But Lin Ruoxi just shook her head without saying a word.
I think he will regret it in the future, after all, it belongs to mother!
"Yue'er, are you interested in taking a look at this place with me?" Lin Ruoxi smiled, "This is really a good place."
"Do you think this place is like a paradise?" I asked Lin Ruoxi.
Lin Ruoxi was stunned and chewed the words "Xanadu", and after a while the corner of his mouth curled up.
"Here it is."
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