I'll forgive you when you're crazy

I sat up slowly, and just about to stretch my waist, the pain in my lower back immediately brought me back to reality.

I looked at the wound on my lower back in horror, it was already covered by a piece of gauze, and a blood spot was oozing out.

It was only then that I remembered what had happened to me before. If it wasn't for this wound that reminded me that I wasn't dreaming, I would have felt that what happened before was like a dream.

"Is anyone there?" I couldn't help calling out.

But no one responded to me.

I got out of bed and looked around, found a door, turned the lock gently, and found that it was not locked.

I opened the door and went out, only to find people walking in the hallway. They were wearing the same clothes as mine, all hospital gowns.

I was even more surprised, was I rescued and sent to the hospital? ?

I stopped someone and asked, "Which hospital is this?"

The man just lowered his head, as if he didn't hear me. I thought this guy was deaf, so I raised the volume and asked again: "Do you know which hospital this is?"

The man still kept his head down, and I already suspected that this man was deaf.

Instead of pestering this guy, I'm going to find someone else to ask.

So I stopped another person and asked, "Which hospital is this?"

That person really heard what I said, but it was a bit difficult when he spoke. After speaking a sentence, it was as if I heard gibberish characters, and I couldn't understand what he was saying at all.

Is this guy a foreigner?But what he said sounds like Chinese, what's going on?

Is there something wrong with the area of ​​my brain that processes language?

I couldn't help panicking, stopped someone again, and asked, "Hello, do you know what hospital this is?"

The man looked very impatient, and said to my face: "You lost your memory? This is a mental hospital!!"

I was stunned at the time, what?Did I hear you right?Mental hospital? ? ?

I couldn't believe it, and I didn't want to believe it. I hurried downstairs, but the door at the end of the corridor was locked, no matter how much I shook it, it was useless.

I don't believe in evil, just now that person seemed to be able to communicate, I immediately went to that person again and asked, "How do I get out?"

The man looked at me with contempt, as if seeing a mentally retarded: "How do I know?"

"How long have you been in this corridor?" I stared at this guy eagerly.

"Can not remember."

"What is your name and why did you come here? Do you remember?"

The man gave me a blank look: "Why should I tell you?" After speaking, the man turned his head and left.

I shook my head, trying to stay sane.

No, it's impossible, why did you suddenly end up in a mental hospital? ?

but……

I couldn't help but touch my forehead, could it be that I imagined my reunion with Wu Tian before? ?

But those experiences are so realistic, those people I have met can't be fabricated out of thin air, right?

No, I have to get out of here to confirm.

But at present, it seems that it is not so easy to leave here.

But the patients here always have to eat, right?When someone delivers food, grab a medical staff and ask.

With this in mind, I just sat in the corridor, recalling while sitting, whether the things that happened in those memories were real or false?

I have bandaged wounds on my body. Someone will definitely change my dressing or something when the time comes, right?

I waited and waited, there was no concept of time here, and I couldn’t see the outside, the surroundings were all white, white walls, white hospital gowns, white doors, and even the windows were frosted white.

As time went by, I felt more and more panic. If I was really mentally ill, then I must be terminally ill.

But I just don't give up, I don't give up!Don't give up...

At some point, the door of the corridor opened suddenly, and I was the first to rush out. When I went downstairs, I found a hall with many tables. They are all immersed in their own world.

I looked around and saw a doctor in a white coat. In order to avoid being regarded as "dangerous", I deliberately slowed down and walked up to the doctor pretending to be normal.

When I saw this person's face, I suddenly widened my eyes, grabbed his shoulder and said, "Anci?!!"

The person I called "An Ci" smiled slightly: "You are in good shape today, you can even recognize me."

I shook my head: "No, no, I..."

An Ci smiled and said to me: "Don't get excited, come and sit."

I sat next to him, looked at him and asked, "Do you know who I am?"

An Ci smiled and said, "Of course I know who you are, the key is do you still remember who you are?"

I became excited when I heard it: "Of course I know who I am! My name is Zhang Pengtao!"

An Ci nodded: "Well, that's right, but your condition has gotten worse recently, and it's rare to see you like this now."

Hearing this, I couldn't help looking at An Ci in astonishment: "What? The condition is getting worse? What do you mean?"

An Ci said indifferently: "You have very serious paranoia, and you often talk to yourself. In the past half a month, you have started to imagine that you have become a policeman."

I swallowed, and looked at An Ci in disbelief: "Delusion? Wait a minute, if those are all my fantasies, can I meet Wu Tian once?"

An Ci looked at me for a while, then sighed softly: "This request is not something I ask him to come. He doesn't want to come to see you if you want to see him. Do you think he will feel good seeing you like this?"

I frowned: "Can he be contacted? Even if he really doesn't come, as long as I hear his voice to be sure, I will give up."

Anci looked at me with a sympathetic smile: "Give up again and again, forget again and again, and repeat."

I swallowed, and couldn't believe every word the person in front of me said, it's impossible, how could it suddenly become like this?

"Then why am I so sober now? Why don't I have any memory of being here before?" I asked, staring at Anci.

"Because you are still in the world of delusions and haven't come out, and you still haven't accepted the reality. You have closed all the memories about this place, and only remember what you want to remember, even if it is just your dream to others."

I still can't accept it, these are all his one-sided words!

Why are the faces of those people so clear in my memory?

"If you really want me to give up, give me a mobile phone, just let me call Wu Tian, ​​and I will accept the reality."

Anci happily gave me his phone number, but at this time I can't remember Wu Tian's phone number, it's been too long since I've forgotten it, and I haven't called him many times in total. times, and I have recorded his name on his phone number, so I don't need to remember it at all.

I tapped my head, trying to remember.

"Do you have Wu Tian's contact information?" I looked at Anci.

An Ci found Wu Tian's name in the phone contacts, and then dialed the number.

I was very skeptical of An Ci's words at first, but at this moment, seeing how "cooperative" he was, I began to feel nervous again.

After a few rings, the other party hung up the phone.

An Ci shrugged helplessly: "He probably already knew what I was looking for, so he hung up the phone."

I lowered my head, it really sounded like what Wu Tian did.

If all this is true, I have become a psychopath, and his reaction is really normal, after all, I have broken up with him for so long.

"How long have I been in?" I asked Anci.

An Ci said, "It's been two years."

Oh my god... have I been crazy for two years?

I inserted my fingers into my hair and couldn't help but grab it fiercely.

"What's the matter with the injury on my lower back?" I stared at Anci and asked.

An Ci took a look, stood up and walked behind me, lifted the corner of my clothes, inspected the wound and said, "There is blood oozing from the wound, please be careful not to sit and stretch your waist."

Then he sat back on his seat and pointed in a direction with his head. I looked in the direction he pointed, and it turned out to be the little girl who stabbed me? !

"She suddenly fell ill last night and regarded you as her brother who violated/offended her, so she stabbed you. It is true that she was not under strict supervision and did not notice that she had hidden a fruit knife." An Ci said to me apologetically. explain.

"But... I feel that everything that happened before is so real... There are still cases..." I couldn't help but touch my forehead, were those characters all imagined out of thin air?

"The human brain's potential is beyond imagination when it is involuntarily fantasized. If you recall it now, can you still remember the experience of those cases?"

I tried my best to recall it, but I could only remember a general idea. It was like waking up from a dream. It felt very real when I dreamed, but I couldn’t remember it clearly after waking up.

"Actually, your current self-doubt is also normal. After all, long-term delusion does give people a real illusion. If you still doubt, I can show you the surveillance video of these days, so that you will no longer doubt right?"

After hearing An Ci's words, I nodded.

He called up a video with his mobile phone. The location of the video should be the corridor of the building where he was before. I ran back and forth in the corridor by myself, and I was still running until the video ended.

I looked at An Ci in horror: "This..."

An Ci took back the phone: "One day you suddenly started running, and you ran for a long, long time until you vomited, and then fell asleep while sitting on a chair."

When I heard this, I remembered which memory it should be corresponding to.

Suddenly a chill from the soles of my feet made me feel chills all over.

It turned out that what I said to Wu Tian, ​​"You are my fantasy", was not fake, but the nightmares I had were real.

Wu Tian never came back to me.

I laughed miserably a few times. I don't know why, but it was only at this time that I really felt at ease in my heart.

It turns out that the anxiety I used to have stemmed from one thing—those were all my false fantasies.