Gu Nianruochu

After Yin Xu was rejected by Wei Siyuan twice and hung up the phone twice, he was frustrated and became ashamed. He didn't want to do anything, and he didn't want to eat when he was hungry, so he went straight back to Wei Siyuan's house after the rehearsal, but he didn't The key to Wei Siyuan's house could only sit on the bench outside and wait with nothing to do.

The outdoor temperature was low, and the battery power of the phone dropped like he had taken laxatives. At 03:30 in the afternoon, Yin Xu was about to play the phone until it would turn off at any time, so he used the remaining battery to send a text message to Wei Siyuan .

【I miss you. 】

【I'm so hungry, my stomach hurts, I want to eat the hot porridge you made. 】

【My little Wei Siyuan, come back quickly. 】

Before the fourth message could be sent, Yin Xu's cell phone turned off automatically. He looked down at the completely dark and unresponsive cell phone, then stuffed the cell phone into his pocket, and looked up to see that he was wearing a pale pink sweater with gray Nicole, who was wearing a pink plaid skirt, walked over here with a violin on her back, and looked at him with a smile, "Hi, Yin Xu, have you been kicked out by Wei Siyuan?"

"I won't be kicked out." Yin Xu found himself being laughed at by a little girl, but he just couldn't help laughing, "Wei Siyuan hasn't come home yet, are you coming to class?"

"Yeah, but I'm early, class starts at four o'clock." Nicole came over and sat next to him, with the violin by her legs, and the length of her skirt was just above her knees.

Yin Xu glanced at her and asked, "Little friend, aren't you cold?"

Nicole shrugged her shoulders and said indifferently, "It's okay, I just want to wear the newly bought dress."

"Demeanor, not temperature."

"Why are you as verbose as Wei Siyuan, I used to admire you so much, off fans." Nicole made a face at him with disdain, and then asked him, "Are you two together?"

Yin Xu looked at a squirrel that got into the grass in the distance, and was silent for a few seconds, "Not yet, but it will, what are you doing, do you want to snatch it from me?"

"I'm not interested, not to mention there are so many people who want to fight with you, and I'm not the only one missing, and he's not my type either. I like athletic boys. It would be nice to have a boy on our school's baseball team." " Nicole laughed. Children who grew up in single-parent families are always a little sensitive and precocious in their speech, "However, I think Wei Siyuan likes you. After you came, he was more happy, of course he was angry He will also peek at you when you are not looking at him. I haven’t seen him like that before, as if he is very curious about you. It’s so interesting. You know, his face There are often some very blank and boring expressions. Although he is not dull, he occasionally talks about the world, but those are all irrelevant things to him, so even if he talks to me a lot, he still has a kind of distance from me. Feeling, I still feel that I don't understand this person... It seems that everything is the same to him, I don't know what he likes and hates, when he is happy or sad, and why he has that expression. "

Yin Xu knew what kind of expression Nicole was talking about. It was Wei Siyuan's loneliness. He used this kind of loneliness to build a solid wall for himself, and he could avoid being understood and influenced by others by not letting anyone approach him.

"Before I came, did he still often stay alone?" Yin Xu asked.

"Anyway, when I'm not in class, I don't take the initiative to ask him out, so he doesn't go out much. When he first came to New York, he would go to the movies or somewhere by himself. Maybe he wanted to get familiar with the living environment quickly, but later he Once you start school, you'd rather be on your own."

Listening to her words, Yin Xu recalled vaguely a long time ago when he asked Wei Siyuan what he would do when he was alone, and Wei Siyuan answered him "missing you" without thinking. But he found that he really understood Wei Siyuan's original meaning.

You are not by my side, I don't want to do anything alone, so I can only think of you.

"My mother likes Wei Siyuan very much. She thinks that he is good at studying, has a good personality, and is good at taking care of others. She hopes that I will follow him more. It would be best if I can date him. Because she is busy with work and earns money and has no time to accompany me, so she just wants to I need someone who she can rest assured to watch me." Nicole laughed at Yin Xu's vigilant expression, "But I don't have feelings for him, I know he doesn't like me either, he looks at me There is no emotion in the eyes, just like a big brother who regards me as a younger sister." She paused, "And I don't think I am worthy of him, so many people like him, it is too much pressure to be with him, I don't have the courage to like a person who is much better than myself, because I know that no matter how hard I try, I can't catch up with him. You are such a powerful person, you must not understand what it feels like."

Yin Xu stood up from the chair, "Let's go, I'll treat you to a cake, and buy coffee for Siyuan by the way, I know there is a shop near their school that does really good cakes and coffee."

Wei Siyuan and Shen Yan were still chatting at the Cafe, when his cell phone on the table vibrated suddenly, and received a text message from Yin Xu, Wei Siyuan flipped through it, frowned, and called him back, but unexpectedly, Yin Xu turned off the phone, so His expression became worried, and he called Liu Yi who was still in New York. Liu Yi said that he hadn't seen him, and then he changed from worried to restless.

Shen Yan silently watched Wei Siyuan's emotional changes on the opposite side, as if seeing the white smoke trail left by a plane passing by in the empty and clear sky, it was so obvious that it was hard to ignore, "So after you organize your life , you will still choose to like him."

Wei Siyuan didn't speak, his eyes darkened, he was a little puzzled by Shen Yan's conclusion.

Shen Yan asked him, "Do you think Yin Xu liked you before?"

"Very vague feelings, I can't say clearly, but in my opinion there is no, because he never thought of being with me." Wei Siyuan said, "If I wasn't his father's student, he might not have much Take a look at me, and if I still have the chance to meet him, I will never have the guts to approach him, let alone become friends." His expression was a little dazed, as if he was lost in memory, "What he likes is the kind of beauty and delicacy, A girl with outstanding talent, gentle and sweet but with arrogance."

"So, is it because of the appearance of such a girl that you decided not to like her anymore?" Shen Yan met Wei Siyuan's self-evident eyes, "Then if such a person never appeared, you would accompany him to the Whenever, it is impossible to accompany him forever without a name or a role."

Wei Siyuan took a deep breath gently, trying to relieve the pain in his heart. He really didn't want to talk about himself with others, but Shen Yan's few words awakened the sleeping monster in his heart, and he always wanted to comfort it Go on, "stay with me until I finally understand that I am dispensable, and when all the things I thought belonged to me can be done for him instead of me, I will leave him. There will always be this day, no Well, sooner or later, liking someone who doesn't like you is doomed to disappointment."

Shen Yan watched his expression become sad and gentle, Wei Siyuan's words stabbed his heart firmly like an arrow, "So what you care about is not that he doesn't like you, but that he likes others and doesn't like you." He smiled wryly After a while, finish the cold and sour coffee in the cup, "I know our feelings are different, but we are the same when it comes to liking someone who doesn't like us."

He looked into Wei Siyuan's eyes, and continued, "Look, I like you, one day is enough, even if you disappear for two years and reappear in front of me, I still feel that I like you in an instant. But you gave him He didn't like you for five years, but he suddenly woke up and started to like you because you left, is it really worthy of your belief that he likes you because of hesitation?"

Wei Siyuan also laughed, with some unclear meaning, he heard the obscure malice in Shen Yan's words, and subconsciously wanted to defend the person he intended to slander, "It may sound cheap when I say this, but he didn't treat me badly before. , That's why I can persist for so long, now he is still very good to me, but I can feel that it is different from before."

"Well, he finally likes you now, and takes the initiative to approach you to treat you well, so you can't walk away, and you can't maintain your independent self in front of other people, and you will still be attracted to him. You told me you didn't When you are with him, you don’t like him, but you have no way to treat him badly, because you still regard him as the person you like the most in the world in your heart, and you will worry when you see him not doing well, you know him You will feel bad if you need you, don’t deny it too quickly, just think about how worried you are after you can’t contact him, and you will understand what I mean.”

So Wei Siyuan no longer refute, completely silent, he was exposed, he covered up so deeply in front of Yin Xu, he almost deceived himself, but now he is completely exposed in front of another person.

Shen Yan's words were terrifying like a wizard's spell, but Wei Siyuan couldn't find a place to hide, "Now you don't seem to need him, and you don't depend on him emotionally, so he feels no burden by your side and likes you It is also a thing worth being happy. But you love him, at best he just likes you very much, the relationship between you is always unequal, when the short-term happiness of love is over, when you are moved enough to decide to follow you When you love him in your heart, his love will turn back into your gift again, and you will still turn back to the original you."

"Stop talking." Wei Siyuan interrupted him, lowered his head and stared at the shapeless sandwich on the table that he unconsciously smashed with a fork, his eyes were cold and dark, "It's not what you said, you don't understand anything at all. I It’s not the same as before, I can’t live without him, and I don’t have to look up to him, one day I will accept his feelings from the perspective of looking at him, these are not real problems.” He raised his eyes , with tears in his eyes, "The real problem is that I feel very happy when he is by my side, but I know that once I admit that I am happy, I will be reluctant to let him leave me, but he will leave one day Yes, having it and losing it is much more painful than never having it, so as long as I admit that I love him, happiness ends here."

Shen Yan raised his hand, wanting to wipe Wei Siyuan's tears away, suddenly two figures appeared outside the glass window, so he and Wei Siyuan turned their faces to look outside at the same time, time seemed to have stopped at this second.

The unlit street lights on the road looked down at the passers-by peacefully, and the hustle and bustle of the road disappeared in Yin Xu's ears. He couldn't hear what Nicole said standing next to him, but he could only hear his own heavier and heavier breathing.

The pain in the stomach disappeared, but the heart seemed to be cut open.

Then Yin Xu stared at Wei Siyuan in astonishment through a glass, in those beautiful gentle eyes, real jealousy and sadness emerged.