A Doctor's Zombie Feeding Diary

After I took the initiative to speak, the entire building fell into a long period of silence, the echo of my voice could still be heard in the first few seconds, and after that, only the occasional calls of infected people from outside the building remained. and some small electric sounds ahead of us.

He didn't respond immediately, but instead gave me some time to observe him carefully.I can't remember how long it has been since I saw him last time, but I still have some vague memories of his image at that time.Although he also looked quite haggard at that time, he was definitely not as old as he is now. It felt as if we had squandered decades of time during the time we hadn't met.I am no longer the young man who needs to pay attention to his emotions and thoughts all the time, and get information and understanding based on the few words he narrates, and he is also no longer the great medical scientist with a great reputation in the research world.

Now I can only see his back curled up on the chair and his full head of white hair, and I can vaguely see the old and dry skin on his arms and the back of his neck.This person has committed a lot of crimes, depriving countless people of their lives and their original happiness, but at this time, he is gradually getting old like all ordinary human beings, and he is no different from all living beings in the cycle of life. Meet death in the not-too-distant future.

I don't think he has any idea of ​​dedicating his life to fight for a better future for mankind, so I can't understand his thinking, let alone guess his purpose for doing these things—I'm just very sure that since he can Here, it shows that he is indeed the chief culprit of this disaster.

As I was thinking about this, I felt Gerald take my hand.The temperature in his palm was very high. This warmth came from my wrist and gradually flowed into my brain and heart, like the coolest spring water in the hot summer, quickly washing away my chaotic thoughts and go.

I held his hand back, turned my head and smiled at him, feeling the emotions gradually calming down in my heart, took a light and slow breath, and waited for any kind of response from the man in front of us.

"...you are here."

After a long time, I heard his voice slowly coming from the innermost side of the hall.His voice seems to be quite different from what it was a few years ago—maybe it's because I've gradually forgotten his voice over the years.But no matter what the reason is, at least it shows that during this period of time, he has indeed undergone a lot of changes like everyone else, and he may no longer be the person in my impression at all. Retain the tone of the speech of the year.

"I thought you would have to struggle for a while to get here. Who knew that guy in Mecca was so stupid that he let you follow directly." He said this, but he didn't turn his head to look at us. Operating on a large terminal in front of you, "But this is the credit of the little man next to you, and it has nothing to do with you... So, I was the one who brought you here myself."

"He looks so special in the group of infected people, did you really do it on purpose?" I gently rubbed Gerald's palm with my fingertips, although I asked this, my tone was quite certain.

"..." Yufuno remained silent again. After a long silence, he finally stopped what he was doing, turned his chair and looked at us slowly, "Want to have a good talk with me? Come closer , young man, don’t shrink back, if I wanted to kill you, I would have already sent your soul away when you opened that door.”

When he said that, Gerald suddenly grabbed my hand tightly, making no effort to hide the doubt on his face and his vigilance towards the seemingly helpless old man in front of him.

"It's okay." I smiled at him and said softly, "And even if something really happened, wouldn't you be by my side?"

Gerald looked at me worriedly for a few seconds, and nodded hesitantly, but he still held my hand quite firmly, and his expression became more cautious.

I kept a slow pace with him, gradually passed through this porch, walked to the innermost side of the hall, and finally met my father, whom I hadn't seen for many years, face to face.

His face doesn't look much better than his figure, he also looks very old and haggard, indeed he looks like an old man, I don't even see any sense of oppression from a few years ago in his eyes - but his outline And the look is still very familiar to me, I look at him, and all the grief and despair I have seen over the years from those persecuted by the HLM virus came to my mind again, along with my personal grief They surged up together, even mixed with an unspeakable anger and guilt.

But his attention was more concentrated on Gerald, and he kept staring at him as we drew closer.It wasn't until we walked in front of him that he pointed to the chairs next to him, "You look really energetic, and you have a good mental quality. I know you have a lot to ask. Sit down, let's chat."

I glanced at the chairs he was pointing at, tapped Gerald on the shoulder, and sat down with him.

"I have never cared about you since you were born, let alone talking about getting along well, so I don't know you well, but I guess you should really want to know what I have been doing these past few years?" He still looked at Looking at Gerrard, he spoke slowly, with no expression on his face, but his tone was quite calm, exactly the same as his appearance a few years ago, "It's an incredible life, isn't it?"

"If you ignore the pain he has experienced and the memories he can never get back, the process of his growth is indeed incredible." I also looked at him expressionlessly, only feeling that my mood has become as peaceful as he is now Get up, "I can probably know what you have done in the past few years, and the manager has explained a lot of problems during this period, so I don't need you to explain it again-what I want to ask now is the reason why you did these things what exactly is it?"

"I have no concept of time, but judging from your current attitude, it seems that many years have passed. You have never spoken to me in such a tone before." Yufu Nuo retracted and kept staring at Gera He looked at me lazily and indifferently for a while, then suddenly sighed again, and said, "...I'm going to die soon, son, there's no need to think about too many problems, and I finally have time to think about it." and leeway.”

"The lifespan of human beings is not so short, and your age is not too old. Even if your physical condition is not good, wouldn't it be easy for you to live for decades with your ability?" I asked sarcastically. .

"So what?" Yufuno slightly opened his old and drooping eyes, and his cloudy pupils locked tightly on me, "It's just a few decades, even if I live In the past few decades, I will still die in the future, so in fact, no matter what I do, it is meaningless? In contrast, even if I kill so many people in the world, even if I don’t kill them, they will still die in the future. They are happy while they are alive, doing what they want to do, thinking that no matter how long they can live, as long as they and their families are happy. Well... sounds like a good thing, but after that? They will die one day, At that time, people who once felt happy and joyful because of their existence will be devastated by their death. If this is the case, why not just not get involved in the first place? Why do you want to know that it will be painful? Try to torture yourself?"

I closed my eyes, restrained my urge to frown, and remained silent without speaking.

"I don't understand this kind of emotion." Yufuno said, "You and your brother, my second son Ai Weilang, I thought about a question when I was born, why do some people always say that the child is happy? Because they don't know what sadness is, they don't know that they will face death in the future, and they don't know that everyone around them will die one day, they are ignorant, so they are happy."

I looked at him, although his eyes were cloudy, but his eyes were extremely clear-until this time I realized that no matter how twisted his thoughts were, he clearly and deeply knew what he was doing.

"You must think that what I did was inhuman, and there is no room for forgiveness? I also think that I have committed a heinous crime, because I can actually be your enemy from the beginning." He turned the chair to the right, as if to I got a little closer here, "Most people think I'm crazy, but I'm just an ordinary person with all kinds of emotions, so I fell in love with a woman and lived with her. Probably From the time she was pregnant, I felt the guilt. I witnessed the birth of a life, we welcomed the first child, which is you. You are born, you will grow up gradually, and you will gradually start to think independently , will gradually become a unique person in the world - but you will also gradually die. Life has a beginning and an end, I created you, but at the same time I am killing you, right?"

Listening to every word he said, I felt the sourness in my heart constantly surging, like a huge blade, cutting deeply into my chest, reminding me of the struggle and mourning I have had for so many years.

"I just thought life was sad until I realized that I was actually pushing my own child to death. No matter what I did, just because I let you be born, you must die." He said long Sighing deeply, it is indeed like a dying person who is recalling his life, "Then what is the meaning of the birth of life? What are we feeling unbearable sadness for? Since sadness is meaningless, then I don't think it is necessary for me to feel, so I didn't establish a relationship with you from the beginning, so even if you die, I won't be too sad-similarly, if it's me who died here today, you won't I would think that this is such an unbearable thing.”

"If the purpose of our grief is to meet the people I love so much and to feel the joy of being with them, I am willing to bear the price of death." I closed my eyes and told him in a steady tone, "Each of us We all know what we need to face in a few decades, but just because there is sadness in the world, the happiness we can get will be more precious-this kind of happiness is not for people to spoil. "

The old man in front of me looked at me quietly, I don't know if it was my illusion, but although the way he looked at me was not warm, it didn't look cold either.

"Leodier, do you still remember the great war that broke out in the world when you were very young?" After a long time, he asked again, "At that time, Evelyn couldn't speak, so you probably couldn't speak. It's just getting sensible."

"remember."

"In order to compete for resources and land, people willfully destroy cities and kill other people's lives. In war, everyone who covets power and money looks so disgusting, because the leaders hope that they can live better, and And don't care about making other wretched people pay for their desires." He cast his eyes elsewhere, and said slowly, "Only when the real disaster comes, they will understand how fragile human beings are, and realize their own stupidity, Under the destructive force of nature, all people seem extremely small and precarious. Only at this time can they understand that other foreign people who have fought with them are actually their own compatriots. When a species is on the verge of extinction, all Everyone of the same kind is worth relying on.”

"So you use the method of creating a virus to wake up those blinded by desire?" I frowned and asked, "The things you are doing now are not much greater than them."

"No, I'm just world-weary." Yuvno shook his head and said, "At first I just wanted to study how to extend life, but in the end I found that even if life can be extended, if we can't find the meaning of life, it's worthless The child who has been following you is named Gerald, right? Since you can feel that his growth is incredible, then you agree with me in a sense—since life brings death, death also be reborn."

"I don't agree with your thoughts." I looked at him complicatedly for a long time, but I still chose to express my inner thoughts, "Mother loves you and will feel sad for you, and she will still be there before she dies because of illness and sorrow. Tell us not to hold grudges against you. We will grieve when our mother dies, and though you were a heinous man, you are still our father, so we will be sad if you die too. No matter how many perfect excuses we make, These are indelible facts.”

Yufu Nuo nodded noncommittally, but continued the previous topic: "You have been worrying about the virus I created for the past few years, and your brother has also become a leader, so he should also have dissatisfaction with the governments of various countries. Little understanding. From my point of view, it’s hard to say anything, but you should be able to clearly feel how united people are now? When everyone is equally pitiful, there will be no problem of competition. As for the small How can it be possible to shake the whole world by making a fuss?"

"Since you have such a thorough understanding of human nature, you should know that no matter what time, there will be people who are willing to risk their lives for honor and money." I said lightly, "After the disaster, every country will become rich and powerful again. In time, there will still be wars.”

"That's why I think it's meaningless to do anything." Yufuno leaned back in the chair and put his old hands on the controller of the terminal again, "No matter what I do, we can't see the future, and the future What kind of things people will do has nothing to do with us——compared with the unreachable future of mankind, you should care more about how to solve the current predicament? Don't worry, those infected people will not take The well-armed army outside is ruined, let me show you a few interesting things."

He turned on the terminal and brought up an analysis map, "This forest was actually on the verge of death a few years ago. At that time, I happened to have just researched the virus you named HLM. Continuation I am very interested in things like life, so I found someone to send materials and made this conversion device that can provide nutrition for forest vegetation."

"Looking for someone to send the materials?" I frowned, "It sounds like you do have connections with the outside world."

"The way you think about things is still as cautious as ever." Yufuno said while shaking his head, "Just like what you said just now, no matter what time it is, there will be people who are willing to pay for money, so like me It is actually not too difficult to hide from the outside world and manipulate the economic problems in certain cities-I know what you are thinking, the cause of the gradual death of this forest is actually the reason for that basement, and The underground passage was secretly built by the previous president of Sri Lanka. As for why such a basement was built, you should guess the reason."

"It's just because of the war." I glanced at the analysis map and asked, "Then why did you destroy it?"

"I know how to prolong life, but I don't think I should destroy the ecosystem of this world." Yufuno said blankly, "You may think that I am weird, since I hate death so much, I don't want to Keep working on this—I don't care what you think, so you don't need to know why."

I stopped talking, turned my head to look at Gerald who was still staring at him, and relaxed the hand that had been holding him tightly before.

"I can actually gather a lot of information by sitting here, so I have already known about the fact that you have discovered the secret of the vicious HLM virus. As expected of my son." Slowly operating on the controller, "I originally placed many vicious virus vectors in the city, and Mecca was one of them, as was the little girl you rescued before."

"Juliel?" I was about to ask something, but he interrupted me with a wave of his hand.

"I know what you want to ask, the little girl was indeed infected with a benign virus." Yufuno said, and called up a picture on the terminal, "I know it's incredible, but I found that the children are The growing body will not be affected by the conversion system of the vicious virus. After the conversion system is injected into their body, it will wander in the body as their body grows, until it finally disappears through unknown channels—this is I haven't researched one thing thoroughly so far, but not every child will be like this, there is probably a certain probability of the reason."

I looked at the analysis data about C-V27 and the vicious HLM virus on that picture, which is exactly the intelligence I worked out with Conordo before.

After Yufuno finished speaking, he fell silent again.He remained motionless for a long time before he spoke again: "I actually wanted to tell you a lot before, but now that I think about it, it doesn't seem necessary. HLM is a virus that affects brain waves. Yes, so based on the changes in their brain waves, I made a device that can control their emotions and subconscious thinking. You probably don’t want to know about this, do you?”

"I'm not interested in how to create an army that absolutely obeys me."

"...I set a lot of traps before, deliberately leading you to perdition." Yufuno paused for a few seconds, and said, "When I was in the ruins of another city, I could have killed the infected group very early. Attacked you, but waited until after you left before attacking. When I killed Mecca just now, of course I wanted you to be buried with me, but you still stood in front of me. Even now, I There is still the idea of ​​calling all the infected people back to besiege you two, but I don’t think I will choose to do this in the end.”

As he spoke, he raised his hand and adjusted a few times on the controller, and a defensive mask rose from the bottom of his feet, covering his whole body inside.

For the first time since meeting him, I felt my heart beating a little unsteadily, and asked in a cold voice, "What do you want to do?"

"It's a pity that I couldn't see your mother for the last time a few years ago." But he said as if he didn't hear me, "Ai Weilang should have grown up a lot. I've seen him the way he is now."

"...Open the defensive cover."

"I've done what I should and wanted to do, and I don't have much to miss now." He said slowly, his old face looking indifferent but serene, "When that stupid guy Hughes went to get the materials, I was caught by you, but I actually condoned it on purpose, and all the information about the virus was recorded in several terminals in that place, which can also explain why a group of infected people can have their own consciousness. "

I took a deep breath, but found that I felt as if I was stuck in my throat, unable to make any sound at all.

"Leave from here, Leoutier, go back to other people, live a good life, and live your life happily." His voice gradually became dry, mixed with some strange and gentle Emotions, "You're right, the connection between blood is amazing, I can't take your life in advance, I can't kill you. I was going to continue my research, and I don't care about anyone else's thoughts and emotions , but now seeing that you want to make the virus disappear, I actually have a little desire to fulfill your wish."

I heard his last words before the explosion inside the shield and the collapse of the entire building began.What caught my eyes was a blurry but extremely intense brilliant fire.

"...I probably love you, son."