jealousy is the devil

Ye Ze came over and picked up my collar and pulled it out, my neck was a little uncomfortable being strangled by the pulled up clothes.He moved his neck, and then broke free from Ye Ze's grasp.

"What do you want?" I still couldn't help asking.

"Don't talk nonsense, come with me." Ye Ze told me a little angrily.

I just followed him, and we went to the gym bathroom, which was empty during the day.

Ye Ze came over and pulled my clothes off, but I blocked them with my hands.It turned out that it was not my illusion, Ye Ze really saw the scar on my arm.

"Don't move." He whispered in my ear.

Like a spell, I put my hand down.Then he quickly pulled my clothes off.

Then his hand paused, I knew he saw the ugly scar on my body, "Did someone bully you?"

I shook my head, "No."

He raised his head and looked at me. I couldn't figure out what was in his eyes. I was puzzled, distressed, and surprised.

I also looked at him and said, "It's me."

He let go of me abruptly, and took a few steps back, "Why are you doing this?"

I smiled wryly, why?

"When did it start?" Ye Ze asked again.

"I think you should stop asking. Anyone who knows such a thing will feel pressured and feel uncomfortable. It has nothing to do with you anyway."

"Ha, it doesn't matter, you won't say anything anyway. You have nothing to do with anyone anyway, if you are thrown into an uninhabited island, you can live well alone."

"Very good." Ye Ze smiled at me, and turned away expressionlessly the next second.

I made him angry again, why didn't I realize that Ye Ze is such an easy-going person, it's almost cloudy and uncertain.

I was really afraid to let him know the time, it started from the winter vacation, when we broke up.It would be bad if he thought it was his fault.My own problems have nothing to do with others.

I hate myself very much, I always can't speak clearly, and I am afraid of things.The more useless I feel, the more likely I am to make mistakes. I really want to hit the wall.

It's raining today, the sky is very gloomy, my head has become very heavy, and I can't bear it anymore.But we must pay attention today, don't do the station.Don't miss the stop, if I can't even do this little thing, then I will die.

I tried my best to sit up straight, my eyes were fixed on the window, my ears were nervously listening to the station announcement, and every cell in my body was holding my breath and concentrating on it.

Ye Ze said that if you throw me into an uninhabited island, I can live well.If there is enough food, clothes, books, notebooks and pens.Maybe I can actually live.If it is an uninhabited island, the sky there must be very blue, and there is a big but stupid fish in the shallow water that is easy to catch.Then I will cook grilled fish, ah, no, I forgot to bring the fire.So I have to learn to drill wood to make fire...

"Bang..." My head hurts a little, as if I was hit by someone's bag.

I regained my senses from my fantasy and looked up to see the students in our school clothes walking out.His back is so familiar, tall and slender, full of youthful vigor.

When the school arrived, I quickly picked up my bag and got out of the car with him.Ye Ze walked quickly, as if he didn't intend to go with me, so I didn't go up to say hello.

Not sure why he was on the same train as me, but just thinking about it makes me feel lucky.

When I returned to the classroom, my deskmate looked at me in surprise, "Ah, you're not late today!"

"Hmm." I nodded vigorously, looking a little smug.

Today Zhang Lei came to apologize to me. He touched his head and said embarrassedly: "I'm really sorry yesterday, I didn't mean it. I just want to see if there is someone like me who has a strange tattoo or something." Yes, haha."

"Don't do that next time." I warned him.Although I was scared to death by him yesterday, I was unexpectedly not very angry.

"How dare there be a next time, if I provoke you again, Ye Ze won't kill me." Zhang Lei gestured exaggeratedly on his neck.

"Cough cough cough..." I was drinking water and almost choked to death.I felt a little faintly happy in my heart, but I didn't dare to think about it deeply, for fear that it would be another joy in vain.

Zhang Lei came over and patted my back, "Don't get excited, you don't blame me for this."

I regained my breath and shook my hand at him, "Stop shooting, I'm about to be shot to death by you."

Zhang Lei chuckled, feeling that he did it on purpose.

"Ye Ze's younger sister is dead, and his parents have also left now. You shouldn't be angry with him these days, and let him go temporarily."

"what?"

"You don't know, hey, this is also unpredictable. Ye Ze has actually helped raise the money for the operation, but the little girl ran out for fun, and was hit by a car and died."

I felt a little dazed, and I didn't come back to my senses for a long time.At the same time, I also felt a sharp twitch in the corner of my heart.

"When did this happen?" I grabbed Zhang Lei violently.

"Just... during the winter vacation."

I let go of Zhang Lei, and felt my whole heart pumping, and it became difficult to breathe.

What?During the winter vacation, Ye Ze didn't just want to tell me about this matter during that phone call.I'm an idiot, if this is really the case, Ye Ze... how sad Ye Ze would be.

For him, my biggest function is to make him suffer. Why can't I even do such a small thing?

I looked at Ye Ze's seat, the seat was empty, at this point he might have gone to the toilet or he was hungry and went to the canteen.I want to see him right away, I want to ask questions.

I first went to the toilet on this floor to check, but there was none.I even yelled a few times, but no one answered.

I hurried downstairs again, he should go to the canteen, I want to stop him on the way.

Near the flower bed, I finally saw Ye Ze who was pacing while nibbling on bread. I went up to grab his clothes and took him away from the teaching building.

"Why?" Ye Ze said vaguely with his mouth full of bread.

I pulled him to a place where I thought there were few people, and I let him go, turned around and asked, "Ye Ze, did you call me during the winter vacation to talk about your sister?"

Ye Ze stopped eating bread, looked at me quietly for a while, and then said: "I won't tell you, why should I tell you anything, and you don't tell me anything."

"Then what do you want to know?" In fact, I have already told you the hardest part.

Ye Ze didn't speak, just looked at me.

Ok.

"First in grade, I have always admired him. I hope to be like him, hardworking, excellent, and not influenced by others. In many cases, I have this feeling that we are the same kind of people. But," I deeply Taking a breath, "I feel like my illusions are shattered. The first grader is not as strong as I imagined. He is not happy every day. I think, I am the same."

I lowered my head, although I knew it in my heart, but when I said it, it seemed that I had experienced the pain at the beginning.That's why I hate talking about my pain.

"Does he have that much influence on you?" Ye Ze seemed to be muttering to himself.

I nodded.

At this moment the bell rang, Ye Ze looked up into the teaching building, and said, "Let's go to class first!"

"Sorry." I said.

Ye Ze paused while walking, and when we got to the bottom of the teaching building, he said, "My sister's accident happened after I called."

I kind of wanted to cry when he said that, luckily I didn't make a bigger mistake.

Ye Ze seems to be the kind of person with particularly thick nerves, but sometimes he can feel other people's small emotions, very gentle and delicate.

This made me both moved and frustrated. I felt that I was ugly and he was unattainable.Can anyone understand how I feel?Because of the excellence of the person I like, I am inexplicably proud of it, and because of this, I feel inferior, and I would rather him not be so outstanding.

It would be great if Ye Ze could be a little bit worse.

Can Ye Ze and I make up?Although Ye Ze no longer ignores me, he has become very polite. My status is no longer as good as Zhang Lei's.

I watched Ye Ze and Zhang Lei having fun in my seat, and bad thoughts slowly came to my mind.

No, our reconciliation this time depends entirely on Zhang Lei, and I can't avenge my kindness.I can bear it a little longer.

Damn, there's no need for them to hook up.

"Hey, Fu Xing, the math homework is due." My deskmate reminded me.

"Let me copy it!" I said.

"Ah?" The deskmate looked disbelieving, and slowly took out the homework and handed it to me.

I can't do it anymore, it's like being cursed, no matter how hard I try, my grades will only drop.Then what am I still working on?

Which is more embarrassing, between trying to fail and voluntarily giving up?I don't want to think about it that much anymore.

Ye Ze came to see me during lunch break on Friday, and he slapped a note on my desk.Startled, I looked up at him.

"Skip class with me this afternoon!"

I was shocked but agreed anyway, and do I have a reason to say no?

Ye Ze and I got into the car, and we sat in the second-to-last row of seats.

"Where are you going?" I asked Ye Ze.

"We'll know when the time comes." Ye Ze closed his eyes and ignored me.

It seems he intends to keep it a secret.I pouted, but was very happy inside.The unknown filled me with anticipation.

The car window was half open, the sun was very strong at noon, and the wind blowing in was also warm.I leaned my body lazily on the chair, as if I had no bones, and I was so comfortable that I was about to die.I also slowly closed my eyes.

There was a sudden sinking on the shoulders, and the fluffy hair rubbed against my neck, feeling a little itchy.A light shampoo smell, nice smell.

My heart beat fast for a while, but then calmed down again.Don't get too excited, just enjoy the moment with a touch of joy.

As long as I close my eyes, I won't be hurt.None of us will be harmed.

"Here we are." Ye Ze patted my shoulder.

I rubbed my eyes, I haven't slept so well for a long time, and now I feel refreshed and full of energy.I stretched, then stood up and got out of the car.

"Can you tell me where I'm going now?" Because I was in a good mood, my tone became a little cheerful, and I didn't feel like myself anymore.

"Don't be so wordy, just follow me." Ye Ze said.

Well, anyway, I didn't expect to be able to ask the answer.But when I got off the bus, I glanced at the stop sign, H High School.

Ye Ze first took me to a noodle shop, we ordered beef noodles with sauerkraut, hot and sour and delicious.

"You... haven't cut your hands recently, have you?"

"Yeah." I took another sip of the noodles, "summer is coming soon, if you cut it again, the scar won't heal, and people will see it."

"Hey, this is not a reason." Ye Ze said helplessly.

"The result is the same, why do you care so much about the reason?"

"It's different! That summer is over, what do you want?"

ah?I haven't thought about something so far away, and I've been holding on to the mentality of muddling along recently.Suddenly felt a little irritable, just wanted to come out and relax, why did Ye Ze talk about these annoying things.

I ate the noodles in a muffled voice, while Ye Ze just sat there.

I feel a little bit sorry, Ye Ze is also doing it for my own good.

"Well, if you don't want to eat the noodles, give it to me!"

Ye Ze froze for a moment, then pushed the bowl in front of me, "It's really edible, be careful not to get fat like a pig!"

We looked at each other, and then we both laughed.I took a bite of the noodles, thought about it, and still wanted to laugh, and my shoulders shook like a sieve.

"Crazy!" Ye Ze scolded me with a smile.

☆, a natural pair

Ye Ze took me to wander the streets, which was no different from what we did at school.A little disappointed in my heart, I thought there would be something interesting.

At four o'clock, I asked Ye Ze if we should go back.Ye Ze told me to wait a little longer.

Finally, when it was nearly five o'clock, Ye Ze pulled me up and squeezed into H High School among the chaotic crowd leaving the school gate.Ye Ze took me through the teaching building very familiarly, and then slowly walked towards the playground. From a distance, I could see the red plastic track and the green lawn.

Ye Ze handed a letter to my hand, "Go in by yourself, I'll wait for you outside."

I took a look at the signature, and it was written to me by the first grader, and the time was the first few days of school.

I opened the envelope, and the letter paper was the simplest kind, with the neat font of the first grade.

Fu Xing:

Hello there!

You must have been surprised when you received this letter.Why did Kang Jie write to me?The loner, the psychotic monster.Thinking of this, I couldn't help laughing.No, Fu Xing would not think so, he is the most accepting of all kinds of different people, and he is very inclusive.No matter how different a person is, he can respect others even if he doesn't understand.

In front of you, I am the real me.

You may not know that you are the driving force for me to go to school every day, and the short time at noon is what I look forward to most in a day.I kissed you that day and I'm sorry.But, it's not my impulse, I mean it.I like you.If, if you like me too, please write me back and tell me.If not, that's fine, I just want a definitive answer.

I am in H High School now, you can come to me when you are free.I rented a small but quiet room with a small balcony next to the school. The landlord is a very kind grandfather.You can still stay here if you have a few more days.

As for me, I'm fine.I threw some things away, and it was much easier.Changing the environment, it seems that even the mood has really changed.Nobody here knows about my past and I can start over.

I seem to be too long-winded, please remember to reply to me.

Celebration

Always be happy to be yourself!

Kang Jie

May 201, 2X

I put away the letter and walked to the playground.I stopped at the entrance of the playground and saw a few boys playing basketball in the distance.

This is the first time I saw the first grader smile, his hair was cut short, but I still saw him at a glance.Probably one of the team members made some hilarious mistake, and everyone stopped laughing.

The first grader who laughed like that was very dazzling, and my heart throbbed.I stayed there and looked at it, then turned and left with a smile.

That's great, Kang Jie.

When I walked out of the school gate, I saw Ye Ze squatting beside a potted plant.He stood up in surprise when he saw me.

"Why did you come out so soon?"

I walked into him and took out the envelope, "Why is this letter here with you?"

"This..." Ye Ze avoided my gaze, "I saw it by accident."

"If you go to the school security room to get the letter, you need a student ID card. How did you get it?" I was aggressive.

Ye Ze stopped talking, he didn't know where to put his eyes, and his face was full of embarrassment.

"You took my meal card. You thought I forgot at home, but you couldn't find it when I got home. Because you took it."

"I……"

I stretched out my hand, "It's 20 yuan to make up a meal card, you have to return it to me."

"Huh?" Ye Ze stared at me with wide eyes.

"Why don't you pay me?"

Ye Ze took out 20 yuan from his wallet and handed it to me, and said helplessly, "That's not the point, don't you blame me for taking the letter, and why you haven't seen Kang Jie's news for so long? If it wasn't for me If you had, you would have been together by now."

"you like me?"

"Huh?" Ye Ze coughed a few times, tears were about to come out. "Don't get me wrong, how is this possible? I've had a girlfriend before."

"Then why did you take the letter?"

"I'm just worried about you, afraid that you will be cheated by Kang Jie."

"Then why don't you dare look at me?"

Ye Ze turned his head to look at me, his eyes were round and swollen, without blinking.

I nodded, "Okay, then I'll go in and look for Kang Jie, you should go home first. As you can see from the letter, Kang Jie has a rented house near the school where people can live."

I turned around and walked into the school again. Ye Ze grabbed my hand and said angrily, "Don't go."

"I really don't understand you. Sometimes I think you like me, but if we get closer, you will definitely avoid me. You always want to be the first in grade." Ye Ze said this with a hint of Share grievances.

"That's because I can't see through you either." I sighed.

"A person I understand so well will suffocate to death against you." Ye Ze also sighed.

"Are you blaming me?"

"Ah, no, it's just...it's too difficult to understand. Can we do this?"

"Then you don't want to like me?"

I felt Ye Ze hold my hand tightly, "Although I didn't think about it before, I don't want to let go."

I smiled and nodded vigorously.

I later found out that the reason why Zhou Wei hated me so much was instigated by Jiang Ling.Zhou Wei's parents divorced when he was in junior high school, ran away with a man, and never came back.Before this, Zhou Wei's father had always been a very honest and responsible person, who was very kind to his family, which no one expected.Zhou Wei still can't accept it until now, so he hates all such people.

But I don't know why, Jiang Ling has several spare tires that have also been exposed. Recently, she can only behave in a disheveled manner in school, and she probably will transfer to another school soon.

I know you still want to know what happened to the first grade.I thought I should give him a clear answer anyway.After more than a month, I went to H High School to look for him again.But when I went to his class, the classmates in the same class told me that he had dropped out, it seems that because of fighting.

I asked him why he was fighting.He told me that it was because that person said that Kang Jie was crazy, and he was transferred to this school because he had an attack and biting people before.

The so-called new beginning ended so dismal.

Well, let me admit it here, I did what Jiang Ling did.In order to dig out the evidence, I spent a lot of effort, and I even slack off studying.Did not drive her out of school in one step, here I want to review.But who passed on the matter of being number one in the grade here, I really don't know.

I asked Zhang Lei, "Isn't Ye Ze's younger sister about to undergo an operation in the hospital? How can she go out to play alone?"

Zhang Lei sighed, "That's right, you can't go out alone, Ye Ze couldn't resist her request to take her out, that's why Ye Ze blamed himself so much."

"Fu Xing!" Ye Ze greeted me loudly from far away, he waved his hand and showed me a big smile.That smile is so pretty, full of innocence and youthfulness.

I waved to him too, and smiled.

The author has something to say: It's over, hum, I still like Diablo, but the writing is not good, 23333.It's a bit sloppy, please change it when you have time.