when i'm not young

How easy is it to find someone?When they were in high school, before the millennium, they had no other means of contact except QQ and landlines.After Li Ling's QQ was stolen, he didn't apply for it, and he didn't contact his high school classmates after the accident in the college entrance examination. When He Sheng came back to look for him, no one knew about his situation.

He Sheng still remembered where Li Ling's house was, but he didn't dare to go directly to the door.He pretended to drive past several times, but he didn't see the iron door open.He was looking forward to it and afraid at the same time. He thought, what should I do if I know that there is someone beside Li Ling?But I laughed at myself in my heart. At that time, neither of the two promised anything to the other, some secret love or feeling good about themselves?

Finally one time he saw a middle-aged man coming out, looking a bit like the old Li Ling in profile, with a pretty woman beside him.He Sheng only felt a tug in his heart, wrinkled into a ball, excruciating pain.His mind was blank, and his numb hands turned the steering wheel to drive the car away.

He smiled wryly, back then he really liked girls.

Naturally, he felt very uncomfortable, thinking of me coming all the way back to find you, thinking about the feelings that were not explained, made clear, or broken many years ago, who would have expected——

With a bitter and sour smile on the corner of his mouth, He Sheng parked the car aside and watched the two walk away hand in hand.

When he got out of the car to buy cigarettes, the mother-in-law at the cigarette shop was chatting with a woman, and she was talking about Li Ling's family.He Sheng only heard the sentence "Oh, he kicked his brother out! He committed a crime!" He hurriedly asked what was wrong.

The mother-in-law was filled with righteous indignation, and tearfully described the bloody story of an ignorant boy who was studying abroad, his father was paralyzed and seriously ill, his elder brother tampered with the will, and all the keys in the house were changed.

After hearing this, He Sheng was surprised, worried and happy. He adjusted his facial expression: "Then Li Ling... where is their second son?"

When the mother-in-law heard the word Li Ling from the man in front of her, she was startled: "Do you know Li Ling?"

"classmate."

"Oh! I watched that child grow up. When he was so young, he often helped his father buy cigarettes and alcohol. Before he left, he came to tell me that he would not come back, poor child..." The old man continued After adding a few words about the tragedy of Li Ling's departure, He Sheng suspected that he was adding fuel to the scene and left.

He was heartbroken just a few minutes ago, but now he is a little relieved.Holding the steering wheel and twisting his waist on the seat, he thought, that person just now should be Li Ling's brother.As for Li Ling, he had to start all over again.

In the following year, he began to look for Li Ling, and then he went to the old woman to find out which city Li Ling University was located in. At that time, the company's business was reorganized, and he simply urged Gu Chengze to move the new company to that city. He didn't believe it. Will the individual be gone?

It was a coincidence that day, He Sheng was entertaining customers, and the waiter who came up to open the wine was Li Ling.

As soon as the two people met, they both doubted: This person is not him, right?They look a bit alike.

When pouring wine, one holds the wine bottle to pour, the other holds the wine glass and waits. Take another look, it's really him!

Li Ling's hands trembled, and the red wine spilled on He Sheng's sleeve.

There were other bosses joking: "Why, look at Mr. He, who is so handsome, has he spilled all the wine?"

He Sheng was stunned for a moment, and immediately laughed: "Drink too much, you are making fun of me." Then the eloquent He Sheng beat a drum in his heart: What should I say?Say something!Seeing that Li Ling was about to go out, he hurriedly stopped him: "Little brother, take me out to deal with it."

Li Lingzhi couldn't avoid it, and led the way without saying a word. Several people in the seat were surprised: Why do you have to wash your sleeves and ask the waiter to lead the way?Is this for compensation?He Sheng is not such a person.

Li Ling still remembered the scene of the meeting that day, and the memory was refreshing every time, because he beat He Sheng up.

He Sheng lit a cigarette, and Li Ling stood in front of the window of the storage room with his hands folded and said coldly, "Boss He has something to do, please tell him quickly." His tone was full of impatience.

He Sheng locked the door. As soon as the voice came out, Li Ling turned around in a panic and asked him what he was doing.

He Sheng walked around the spot irritably with his hips akimbo, and cursed with his voice: "You're going to be a waiter?! You're going to be a waiter!"

Li Ling shrugged indifferently: "What's the matter with the waiter? I support myself on my own. Of course it's no better than your big boss—I can leave after you vent?"

He Sheng strode up, grabbed Li Ling's arm and pulled him into his arms: "I fucking found you... I see you like this, my heart hurts to death, you know you are going to die..." While speaking The voice became a little choked up.

Li Ling was taken aback for a moment, he didn't expect him to come here.He was not moved for two seconds, so he pushed him away, and waved his fist to say hello: "Why didn't you say hello when you left? Even a good buddy wouldn't take you like this, just leave without telling you and don't hear from me again! Damn !” After Li Ling finished beating and yelling, he pushed him away, opened the door and ran out.

What does it mean to be hugged and affectionate when you come back now?I don't want to play any games with you!

From then on, He Sheng came every day.He did not know where to get a copy of Li Ling's duty list, and picked him up according to the time.

Of course, the so-called pick-up has always been one in the car and one outside the car.One car and one person walked slowly.

Li Ling was so determined that he didn't want to talk to him. He had encountered too many things. He was beaten and scolded by his father since he was a teenager, and his heart sank into a dark place. No one had ever lifted him up and sent him to a bright place.

Finally He Sheng came to drag him up, and he tried to integrate into the normal social circle with fear and fear, listening to how they chase girls, or borrowing others to copy their homework, and playing ball with them, this is a kind of interpersonal communication that has never been done before.His little heart is full of joy and happiness. This is the feeling brought to him by the second person besides his mother. Li Ling cherishes and appreciates it very much.

For him, He Sheng is his bridge, his window, and the spring breeze that brings everything.

But not long after, He Sheng left suddenly.

Then his mother died, and then his father was paralyzed and seriously ill. When he returned home, he found that he couldn't enter the house.

Since ancient times, misfortunes never come singly, and it is always confirmed in him.

His brother stood in the door and said, "It's not for you."

Yes, what good in this world is your share?It’s fine for you to live in misery alone, please don’t go out to set off the well-being of others.

Li Ling left, he wanted to never think about having someone to accompany him again.Isn't it often said that if you don't expect, you won't be disappointed? This is very good.

There will be no second He Sheng in this world.He Sheng will not come back.

Unexpectedly, He Sheng came back, and he would hang around under his nose every day, calling him Li Er Li Er every day, just like before when the two of them got on good terms.

"Li Er! The world is in an emergency! Lend me the simulation paper for reference! It's due soon!"

"Li Er, if the old class rolls the roll, you can testify for me. I have a stomachache and went to the infirmary."

"Li Er, why are you so nice?"

"Li Er, if you were a girl, I would like to go home and tell my parents that I want to marry you after graduating from college."

……

The past is like a tide, and Li Ling's body seems to be thrown into the waves. He sits on He Sheng's lap, and he lifts up his tun, lifts it up, puts it down, lifts it up, and puts it down again—the emotional tide Surging, he held He Sheng's face in his hands, he couldn't see clearly, his eyes were full of mist.He instinctively kissed him, and instinctively opened his mouth and said, "Old He... we are not young anymore, do you want to adopt a child... old age..."

When He Sheng heard the word "adopt", he jerked hard and poked at the fatal point. Li Ling yelled, and clamped it so hard that He Sheng almost fell.He Sheng bit his Adam's apple and said vaguely, "No, I'm enough for you."

This winter was extremely cold, and Li Ling hadn't been sick for several years. A cold turned from a high fever to a low fever, and then to pneumonia.After hanging in a bottle for a few days in the hospital, I lost a lot of weight.

He Sheng said that he lost a lot of weight. He lay on the edge of the bed and frowned, his already majestic face was even more frightening.

Originally, the nurses were all excited when they saw He Sheng, a tall and handsome man who had a successful career at first glance, come in. Unexpectedly, the handsome He Sheng frowned when he saw Li Ling with a needle inserted Syringe.

Li Ling laughed at him: "You frown so fiercely that you frighten the nurses." After speaking, he coughed and wheezed like an old bellows.

He Sheng hurriedly poured water and handed it to him, raised the pillow for him to lean on, and moved swiftly.He was dissatisfied while moving his back: "Can you stop talking when you're already like this. It's hard for me to listen to you!"

Li Ling held the cup and smiled, his nose was a little moist from the heat mist, and his eye sockets were also moist, so he couldn't see He Sheng's concerned and angry expression clearly.So Li Ling said: "Old He, I won't be able to see you after you look so anxious and nervous about me?"

"Bah!" He Sheng patted his back with his empty palm.His five fingers are close together, and the palm is empty. This is what he asked the nurse in advance. It was the first time he did it, and he didn't dare to slap his big palm. He was worried that his Li Er would be injured internally if he slapped it too hard.

He patted it up and down, and then hummed: "How dare you be so disobedient in the future? If you don't take medicine for a small cold, you have to go to the reservoir to get a hair dryer."

Li Ling leaned on the pillow and looked at him with his head tilted: "How do you know the approximate number of orders if you don't go to the scene? How do you know the terrain?"

He Sheng didn't bother to listen, he held up his needle-pricked palm and put it on his own, one was cold and the other was warm.He Sheng lowered his head and kissed his little finger: "Get well soon. I went home yesterday to get my clothes and found that there is too much space in the house."

Who has ever relied on Li Ling like this since he was a child?

He's like an extra, whether it's at home or at school.If a child who is not cared for is poor, is it even more pitiful if a child is not noticed?

He remembered a time when he had a cold and came home early from school. The adolescent child had a lot of thoughtfulness. He felt that his father still cared about him. He wanted to see how nervous his father was, and he wanted to try his cleverness.So I hid my shoes and hid in my room.He hid in the room until six o'clock.

He heard the sound of his father coming home, his father and his brother talking, but no one mentioned him.

He wanted to wait, but it was the effect of the medicine that made him fall asleep.

He woke up with sore joints from staying in one position for a long time. Looking at the time, it was eight o'clock.

His father didn't think of looking for him.

Knowing in the heart and the fact in front of the face are completely different feelings.

I'm a child who doesn't even want a biological father.Who cares about me?Who cares about me?Care about my thoughts and feelings?There is only indifference, indifference, indifference between me and them.

But He Sheng is different.In the summer of his sophomore year in high school, He Sheng rode his bicycle back home to get medicine for him under the almost [-]-degree sun.

During the lunch break that day, Li Ling lay on the table like a wilted flower, and even when He Sheng teased him, he was listless.When asked what was wrong, Li Ling replied weakly, "He Sheng, my head hurts."

He Sheng squeezed Li Ling's fingers and said in a tense voice, "I have headache medicine at home, which is very effective. I'll get it for you right away. Right away!"

Li Ling only heard him say that he had medicine at home, and said weakly, "No need".In a daze, he could only see the back of He Sheng running out.

When he opened his eyes again and saw He Sheng, he first saw a sunburned face and hair that was sticky with sweat.He Sheng held a few pills in his palm, and held Li Ling's water glass in the other hand. A few streams of sweat flowed down his chin. He grinned at Li Ling: "I said it soon, right?"

After all, Li Ling didn't take the medicine, he secretly hid it.Later, when He Sheng went abroad, he felt uncomfortable. He wanted to throw it away several times but still failed to throw it away. He still didn't take it with him when he left home, because he couldn't even enter the house.He couldn't forget the throbbing moment when he opened his eyes and saw He Sheng, and He Sheng's sweaty white school uniform stuck to his back, wrapping the clear and powerful curves of the boy.

He could imagine He Sheng pedaling his bicycle crazily, the wind filling his school uniform and puffing it up.His back was swaying, his legs kept stomping, and he galloped past under the scorching sun, shouting "Let's go! No brakes!"

The author has something to say: Oh, it's just a short story, the life of the old couple!

In the end, what He Sheng said "no brakes" actually reminded me of my cousin riding me on a bicycle when I was young, and their boys like to shout: Give way!No bell and no brakes!

A group of boys whirled past, and the bean peeling aunt in the alley scolded: I am going to die, what if I hit someone

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