Self-denial System [Rebirth]
Chapter 51 Memories Fragments 1
I am used to thinking about you, but one day, you in my mind suddenly became fragments, very fragmented, I wanted to put you together, but I couldn't find the right fragments. --"Memory pieces"
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"despair--"
A drop of cold water dripped onto the back of his hand.
The crystal water drops slowly slid down the curve of the fingertips and the back of the hand, slid to the wrist, and then disappeared into the gap between the chains.
Xu Mu felt a chill on his wrist, slowly opened his eyes, looked up at the roof, and saw dozens of condensed water droplets.
"Tick-tick--"
In the cold cell, the sound of water droplets falling became the only movement.
One day, two days, three days... ten days, eleven days, twelve days.
No matter what time it is in the cell, it is always dark, as if covered in a suffocating mist.
So, how many days is it?
Xu Mu wanted to know a little bit, but he didn't really want to know. He still kept his eyes open, looking at the water vapor on the roof.
"How much time is left?"
[27 hours. 】
Xu Mu didn't answer, and after a long time, about as long as it was from dark to dark, Xu Mu asked softly again: "Then...why hasn't he come..."
This time nothing answered him.
But the door opened.
Xu Mu immediately raised his eyes, imagining... How many years ago, but I can't remember, about five years ago... Imagine sitting up from the chained bed like five years ago and saying: "You are here, it is you ."
But there is no way to achieve it.
Two extremely thin ropes were wrapped around his two arms, like two dangerous poisonous snakes snaking, fixing him to the wall behind him, making it difficult for him to move an inch.
Xu Mu felt that what was on his body was not a rope, but an electric wire, a monster with teeth, subtle but crazily gnawing at his flesh and spiritual veins.
Therefore, all he can do is raise his head.
"You're here..." Xu Mu seemed to breathe a sigh of relief after saying this.
Gu Jingyin pinched a strand of hair in front of his face with his fingers, and a drop of water flowed down, gently twisting it between his fingers.
The cell fell into silence again.
"I've been waiting for you for a long time." Xu Mu looked at him and said, panting slightly.
These six words echoed in the quiet cell, light and gentle.
Gu Jingyin's expression didn't fluctuate at all, as if he couldn't hear.
Suddenly, a drop of icy water from the roof fell into Xu Mu's collar and slipped on the back of his heart. He felt a chill in his heart.
The two looked at each other for a while, and Gu Jingyin slowly turned around, as if about to leave.
Xu Mu stopped him, and asked in a panic, "You...you want to leave?"
Gu Jingyin didn't move, but turned his head, his long eyelashes cast shadows in his eyes, and said without a word, "What else do you need?"
"Won't you kiss me..." Xu Mu looked up at him, his voice hoarse.
Only then did Gu Jingyin move his steps, turned around, his eyes were as cold as ice, and fell on Xu Mu's pale face.
Xu Mu still looked at him, waiting for his answer.
Gu Jingyin took a step closer, stretched out his hand and slid it on his neck, then gently slid along the rope on his arm to his wrist, and then returned to his neck along the wrist.
Touching back and forth, slowly, seems to be enjoying.
Appreciate the fine ropes that cut into the flesh, the white skin that is red and bleeding, and the messy and broken snow-white clothes.
"You are so pretty." Gu Jingyin whispered.
Xu Mu smiled at him and said, "Are you happy?"
Gu Jingyin didn't answer, but untied the hair tie at the back of his head, letting his black hair fall down.
Seeing his loose long hair, the corners of Gu Jingyin's mouth raised slightly.
Xu Mu still smiled at him and said, "Be happy, I'm finally yours."
Gu Jingyin still didn't affirm the question, but lifted the clothes in front of him with his fingers, revealing the scarred skin.
Xu Mu smiled at him, breathing a little shortly, and said softly, "Kiss me quickly..."
Gu Jingyin clasped the back of his head with his hands, and kissed his lips.
Lingering, crazy.
A kiss was originally a very gentle gesture, but Gu Jingyin made it not gentle.
It seemed that the person in front of him was an old grudge, an old enemy, and he wanted to eat his blood and eat his flesh, and he wanted to eat his bones and burn him to ashes.
The bloody and dangerous lust filled the quiet cell.
Wheezing, heavy wheezing.
"Can you...can you let me go..." Xu Mu leaned on his shoulder and said lightly, his hair hanging down in front of him.
Gu Jingyin said: "Why should I let you go."
Xu Mu raised his head from his shoulder, with a begging look in his eyes: "I want to hug you..."
Gu Jingyin laughed after listening, a cold smile.
"But I'm worried." Gu Jingyin's words were as cold as his smile.
Xu Mu asked, "Why?"
"Because I don't believe you." Gu Jingyin looked down into his eyes.
Xu Mu raised his head and said bitterly: "Why are you still unwilling to believe me? I have nothing left, my reputation is ruined, I have nothing to rely on, I have nothing, I only have you left."
Gu Jingyin didn't speak.
"You want me to realize my stupidity, I have realized it, I understand it, I know the end of going against your will, I will not do it again, really not."
Gu Jingyin remained silent.
Xu Mu continued: "But you still don't want to rest assured, right? You took everything from me, but you're still afraid that my heart is not with you, right?"
Gu Jingyin didn't speak, nor did he deny it.
Xu Mu raised his eyelashes, his hair was disheveled, and his voice was slightly panting because of the pain in his body: "Then you want to cut my heart out to see."
"Tick-tock-"
Another drop of water landed on Xu Mu's temple, and flowed down the hair on the side of his face.
Gu Jingyin wrapped the lock of hair behind his ears for him, and said word by word: "If possible, I will."
"Then you might as well kill me here."
Xu Mu lowered his head and said to himself: "Kill me, you can rest assured forever, and I will never violate you again."
Gu Jingyin stroked his cheek lightly with his hands, lifted his face up, and then swept his thumb lightly over the corner of his eyes, "You said that you are my item, but if the item is damaged, you can still have fun." Is it worth it?"
Xu Mu clenched his hands tightly, and his fingertips sank deeply into his palms, bleeding out.
The words are bleak, the cell is bleak, and the heart is bleak.
The only thing he wants to do now is to hold the cold person in front of him into his arms, and use the little remaining warmth in his chest to warm him up.
"Jing Yin... Please let me go... Please..." Xu Mu felt a pain in his eyes, and the intense pain came from the bottom of his eyes, as if tears were about to come out, but they didn't.
Xu Mu's voice was not only trembling, but also weak: "I won't run away, I just want to hug you, like before, hug you..."
Gu Jingyin bent down and looked at his reddish eyes, "An item, does it have the right?"
Xu Mu felt his eyes blurred, and something cold slid down his face.
Gu Jingyin looked at him and actually smiled: "You also cry sometimes, but you actually cry."
Xu Mu wanted to reach out to wipe his tears, to squat down and bury this tear-stained face deeply in his arms, but his hands were tied tightly and he couldn't move, so he forced himself to stand, unable to move. Looking at it, revealing this face full of pain and unbearable.
"Does your heart hurt?" Gu Jingyin asked him.
Xu Mu's voice was a little choked, and he replied, "It doesn't hurt..."
My heart was very cold, and the pain was insignificant compared to the biting chill.
Gu Jingyin frowned, seemed a little displeased, and repeated in a low voice: "It doesn't hurt..."
Xu Mu raised his head, closed his eyes and leaned against the wall, took a few deep breaths, and held back his tears.
"Does it hurt?" Gu Jingyin asked him.
Xu Mu tried to move his two arms, but he was unconscious. After the extreme pain, he was extremely calm.
"It doesn't hurt..." Xu Mu replied softly.
Compared with the pain in my heart, the scars on my body are also insignificant.
Gu Jingyin took a step closer to him, took off his robe, "Then let me make you hurt a little bit, how about it?"
Xu Mu opened his eyes when he heard the sound of his clothes falling to the ground.
"Okay..." Xu Mu smiled softly at him, "Come on..."
Gu Jingyin stood in front of him, leaning against his body, and stretched out his hands to undo his clothes layer by layer.
This time the solution was neither urgent nor violent, but very careful and slow.
Xu Mu let him untie his clothes slowly, while watching him quietly, his gaze was still soft.
Xu Mu looked at his fine eyelashes, then at his white and tender cheeks, and then at those dark but extremely cold eyes.
After looking at it carefully, Xu Mu stood up straight, stepped forward, and kissed him.
Gently kissed the side of his cheek.
The long black hair was scattered between the two of them because they leaned forward, scraping against Gu Jingyin's ears.
But Gu Jingyin didn't respond at all, and still lowered his head to untie his belt, his whole body exuded a cold aura, as if he had no interest at all.
After Xu Mu kissed his cheek, he kissed his lips again.
But he avoided it.
"Can't you wait?" Gu Jingyin raised his eyes, his tone was still cold, with a hint of sarcasm.
Xu Mu smiled when he heard the words: "Yes, I can't wait..."
Hearing this, Gu Jingyin picked up the sword on the side and cut off the rope on his body.
Xu Mu's two arms, which had been bound for dozens of days, seemed to have been separated from his body, and they were not under his control at all.
It took Xu Mu a full 5 minutes to regain consciousness in his arm——and finally hugged the person in front of him.
Although it was a weak hug, Xu Mu felt very happy.
That person is finally no longer an illusion, no longer illusory, but really in his arms.
——It was still the person who could be hugged in my arms before.
"Jing Yin...Jing Yin..." Xu Mu almost exhausted all his strength, but his hands were still limp, and he couldn't hold him tightly in his arms.She called his name softly, but didn't know what to say next, "...you have grown up."
Xu Mu didn't know why he said "grow up."
Probably because he was always able to hold him in his arms with one hand in the past.
Not anymore.
Gu Jingyin's clothes were as cold as his expression, making this hug feel like falling into an ice cave.
"Why don't you hug me..." Xu Mu asked softly in his ear.
Gu Jingyin leaned over slightly, put one hand around his knee, hugged him horizontally, and placed him on the cold floor.
Xu Mu's long hair spread out and scattered all over the place.
"Are we going to be here?" Xu Mu's hands were still reluctant to slip off his body.
Gu Jingyin didn't answer, but took the rope on the ground and wrapped his two wrists together.
Xu Mu had no intention of breaking free, so no matter what he used to wrap his hand around it, it was the same, even if it was just a silk thread, he would not move.
Circle and circle.
Press on top of head.
Gu Jingyin didn't kiss him first like before, and didn't reach out to hug him, but knelt on the ground and tore off his shirt.
Xu Mu wanted to grab his hand with both hands, pulling him in front of her.
But Gu Jingyin pressed his hand back to the ground.
"Why don't you kiss me, don't hug me, don't you want to look at me..." Xu Mu asked softly while lying on the ground, looking into his face.
Gu Jingyin raised his head, his tone indifferent:
"Because I don't want to."
Then he looked at the people on the ground again, his tone was still cold, and he said slowly: "I want you to understand that whatever I want to do, you have to do."
Xu Mu still smiled at him: "Okay."
Xu Mu felt that a fire in his heart was gradually extinguished, turning into dead ashes.
Then a new flame slowly rose and grew stronger—a new belief.
A growing conviction.
Drops of water kept falling from the roof, hitting Xu Mu's cheeks, ears, and hair lightly.Xu Mu looked at the roof, wondering if there was a torrential rain outside and it leaked in.
Just as soon as he shifted his gaze to the roof, he felt a sudden coldness in his lower body.
Xu Mu had no choice but to withdraw his wandering thoughts, and slowly said: "Jing Yin... Please tell Miss Qiyue and Xiao Luo that I am dead, and let her stop looking for..."
When Gu Jingyin heard the words, there was no expression on his face, he just put down the bottom of his robe, got up slowly, walked to his face, grabbed his neck, and said gloomily: "What right do you have to be with me? Saying goodbye to the woman in front of you?"
Xu Mu was already panting slightly, but now he felt suffocated, and wanted to answer but couldn't make a sound.
"I... I don't even have any thoughts of leaving... What else do you have to worry about... Please... I don't want her to know me..." Xu Mu struggled with all his strength to speak in a hoarse voice Finished an incomplete sentence.
But Gu Jingyin didn't intend to let go at all, interrupted him and said: "Do you not want her to know what you look like now, or do you not want others to know the relationship between me and you? Feel ashamed? Shameful?"
Xu Mu gently grasped the wrist tightly strangled around his neck with his two tied hands, shook his head and said, "No...Jing Yin...No."
Gu Jingyin loosened her five fingers, as if she was thinking about something: "She is your fiancee, so you can't let her go, I actually forgot about it."
The restraint on the trachea was suddenly loosened, and a burst of cool air rushed into his mouth and nose, forcing Xu Mu to cough until he almost vomited blood: "Jing Yin...you...don't hurt them..."
But this sentence has no effect on extinguishing the fire at all, it only adds fuel to the fire.
A distorted smile rose from the corner of Gu Jingyin's mouth: "You reminded me."
Xu Mu didn't bother to wipe the blood from the corner of his mouth, and grabbed his hand with both hands, put it on his chest, and pressed it to his heart, and said in a hurried tone: "Jing Yin...we are already together like this...isn't this , Isn't it already good. You don't have to do anything anymore, it's all yours, and nothing will threaten you. Isn't it only my things that you destroy... They have nothing to do with me, have nothing to do with me , They are not my things...so you don't have to hurt them...you don't have to..."
Gu Jingyin only had two gloomy words: "Really."
Xu Mu held his cold hand in his palm and held it tightly: "You...what else do you want..."
Gu Jingyin lowered his eyelashes and smiled slightly: "They must be worried if they don't see you, why don't I invite them here."
Xu Mu's heart stopped beating suddenly, because the thing that had been beating in his chest seemed to have split open suddenly, and every time he moved again, a drop of blood would drip.
Xu Mu let go of his hand and sighed: "Jing Yin, you still don't think this is enough for me, you still want to keep pushing me so that I can't be a human being, right? Let the whole world know my fate and situation, right? .”
Gu Jingyin replied: "Yes."
Gu Jingyin stretched out his hand to support the back of his neck, lifted his upper body slightly, and let him look at him: "Only in this way will you completely give up, and they will also completely give up."
A drop of water hit Xu Mu's right eye, causing his eyes to turn red, and the drop of ice water flowed down again mixed with hot tears: "Jing Yin, my heart is dead. I don't have a heart anymore. dead long ago."
[There are still 18 minutes. 】
Gu Jingyin held the knee of his right leg and bent it upwards, putting it on his arm, showing a smile: "It's better to die."
Xu Mu hastily grabbed his hand, trying to pull him closer to him, pulled him closer to his face, wrapped his hands around his neck, opened his other leg and hooked his waist, closed his eyes kissed his lips.
Never want to open it again.
"Xu Muchen, tell me, what is your purpose?" Gu Jingyin slowly wrapped his hands around the back of his neck.
Xu Mu froze for a moment, and wanted to kiss him again, but Gu Jingyin got up.
Xu Mu hurriedly pulled him back: "I don't have any purpose, Jing Yin, I have no purpose, I just..."
"You just what?"
"I just……"
When that sentence was still in Xu Mu's heart, it was: I just like you, not just like you, maybe, it's... love?
That's why I care if you are real and love me too.
This love may have been born very early, but it was discovered very late.
In fact, I should have thought of it a long time ago. A kind of relationship is neither friendship, nor family affection, nor anything else, so what else can it be.
It's just a love.
So I will be happy when I see you, sad when I leave you, happy when I know you don’t hate me for the first time, and disappointed when I hear that you have always used tricks to me .
But Xu Mu's voice was dry, he couldn't say these things, and he didn't want to say them.
"Just what?" Gu Jingyin still stared at him, waiting for his answer.
"It's nothing."
Gu Jingyin sneered: "You don't want to say, you just want to?"
Xu Mu shook his head, a drop of tear in his eye socket was shaken out by himself, it slid down the corner of the eye, and slipped into the black hair behind the ear.
What he wanted was the same love, a simple, clear, and unimpured feeling.
But what he got was confinement and possession, and unscrupulous coercion.
The whole world seemed to be a cage carefully set up by that person for him.
"I just... hate you very much, Gu Jingyin." Xu Mu felt relieved after speaking.
He suddenly discovered that it turns out that it is much easier to say the word "hate" than the word "love".
Since he never said "love" to him, never say it.
Gu Jingyin smiled when he heard the words, and there seemed to be a distorted light in his eyes: "You finally told the truth, you are finally willing to tell the truth."
But then his face suddenly turned cold again: "So what if you hate me? You can't escape from me now. Rather than wanting a you who doesn't hate me, I would rather have someone who hates me but is in the palm of my hand." in you."
Xu Mu laughed when he heard the words, but tears welled up uncontrollably: "Okay, okay, okay, since you like it, then let your wish come true..."
The smile on the corner of Gu Jingyin's mouth became more and more distorted, and he reached out to wipe his tears, "You can cry, and you cry sometimes."
Xu Mu didn't dare to look at him anymore, so he shifted his gaze to the roof, and said slowly: "Jing Yin, if I die, then we won't see each other again in the next life, don't torment me anymore, let me go...forgive me I..."
Gu Jingyin's hand wiping his tears suddenly stopped, his voice was gloomy, and at first it was low, but then he became more and more angry: "I knew, I knew, I knew it was all fake! It's all about you The trick used to lie to me! Xu Muchen, how many times have you lied to me these years? How many times have you told me lies? How many times have I foolishly believed you? Until now your heart is still not with me! Why! Why? Why don't you want to stay here? You've been lying to me just now, haven't you? "
After the anger, there was an even more terrifying calmness: "Tell me, what tricks are you playing?"
But Xu Mu didn't care at all, perhaps because he really couldn't pull up the strength, he still said lightly: "I didn't play any tricks... Do you think that I am being polite to you to hide from you, and I am obedient to you? In order to play tricks, then what should I do, will you be satisfied only if you die..."
The room fell into silence again.One was lying on the ground with disheveled clothes; the other was sitting kneeling aside with gloomy eyes.
After being silent for a while, Xu Mu suddenly said: "Jing Yin... If I die, you shouldn't be sad."
"What are you going to do?" Gu Jingyin stared at the person below him.
"nothing……"
After Xu Mu said these three words, a sharp alert sounded like an alarm bell in his head, which almost exploded his head. Suddenly, his chest was stuffy, his mouth was fishy, and his eyes turned black.
"Jing Yin, Jing Yin..." Xu Mu didn't care about the pain on his body, hurriedly got up from the ground with difficulty, and anxiously grabbed his hand.Although it was pitch black in front of my eyes, I could still hear voices in my ears, "Listen to me, listen to me, give me your hand, don't hide, don't hide anymore..."
He wanted to pull him down, pull him in front of him, and kiss him again.
But the alarm sound in my head became more and more intense, and finally turned into a countdown.
Xu Mu groped back and forth in front of him, trying to grab his hands, his hands were trembling, and his breathing was rapid: "Jing Yin, Jing Yin...you must listen, what I just wanted to say is that I just like you very much, I like you, I never wanted to hide from you, I just don't know, I don't know how I feel, I don't know what you think, I don't know if you like it too... Did you hear me, you answer, you say In a word, let me know you heard..."
Tears choked into his throat, Xu Mu was forced to stop talking, and coughed up a puddle of blood.
Gu Jingyin didn't answer him, but hugged him in front of him.
"I love you, I really love you...these words are true..." Xu Mu hastily hugged the person in front of him tightly.
Xu Mu suddenly felt a sharp pain in his heart.
He regrets it!
He doesn't want to leave!
He doesn't want to leave this world!
He would rather be imprisoned like this for the rest of his life!
He suddenly figured it out, and just before he lost it, he suddenly realized that his dignity might be nothing compared to love.
Even if he is imprisoned, restricted, or demanded, he doesn't care, as long as he is the one who does these things, he doesn't care.
[The World Boundary is about to open. 】
"No, no, I don't want it anymore, let me stay, please, please let me stay..." Xu Mu's tears burst out instantly, and he shouted words that could not be said in a chaotic manner.
Gu Jingyin hugged him tighter, and said something in his ear, but it was drowned in the siren of the machine in his head.
Feeling that he was very close to him, Xu Mu spoke with all his strength, fearing that he would not be able to hear him, each sentence was hurried, and his voice was trembling: "Jing Yin... I'm sorry for you, I lied to you again, this time I'm going to lie to you again. Lied to you, but this is the last time. In the next life... don't meet me again, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, don't think of me again, don't..."
Xu Mu always heard people say that the last sentence he said to others was always incomplete.
He didn't believe it before, and he didn't think he would have so many words to say.
But he still didn't finish.
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"despair--"
A drop of cold water dripped onto the back of his hand.
The crystal water drops slowly slid down the curve of the fingertips and the back of the hand, slid to the wrist, and then disappeared into the gap between the chains.
Xu Mu felt a chill on his wrist, slowly opened his eyes, looked up at the roof, and saw dozens of condensed water droplets.
"Tick-tick--"
In the cold cell, the sound of water droplets falling became the only movement.
One day, two days, three days... ten days, eleven days, twelve days.
No matter what time it is in the cell, it is always dark, as if covered in a suffocating mist.
So, how many days is it?
Xu Mu wanted to know a little bit, but he didn't really want to know. He still kept his eyes open, looking at the water vapor on the roof.
"How much time is left?"
[27 hours. 】
Xu Mu didn't answer, and after a long time, about as long as it was from dark to dark, Xu Mu asked softly again: "Then...why hasn't he come..."
This time nothing answered him.
But the door opened.
Xu Mu immediately raised his eyes, imagining... How many years ago, but I can't remember, about five years ago... Imagine sitting up from the chained bed like five years ago and saying: "You are here, it is you ."
But there is no way to achieve it.
Two extremely thin ropes were wrapped around his two arms, like two dangerous poisonous snakes snaking, fixing him to the wall behind him, making it difficult for him to move an inch.
Xu Mu felt that what was on his body was not a rope, but an electric wire, a monster with teeth, subtle but crazily gnawing at his flesh and spiritual veins.
Therefore, all he can do is raise his head.
"You're here..." Xu Mu seemed to breathe a sigh of relief after saying this.
Gu Jingyin pinched a strand of hair in front of his face with his fingers, and a drop of water flowed down, gently twisting it between his fingers.
The cell fell into silence again.
"I've been waiting for you for a long time." Xu Mu looked at him and said, panting slightly.
These six words echoed in the quiet cell, light and gentle.
Gu Jingyin's expression didn't fluctuate at all, as if he couldn't hear.
Suddenly, a drop of icy water from the roof fell into Xu Mu's collar and slipped on the back of his heart. He felt a chill in his heart.
The two looked at each other for a while, and Gu Jingyin slowly turned around, as if about to leave.
Xu Mu stopped him, and asked in a panic, "You...you want to leave?"
Gu Jingyin didn't move, but turned his head, his long eyelashes cast shadows in his eyes, and said without a word, "What else do you need?"
"Won't you kiss me..." Xu Mu looked up at him, his voice hoarse.
Only then did Gu Jingyin move his steps, turned around, his eyes were as cold as ice, and fell on Xu Mu's pale face.
Xu Mu still looked at him, waiting for his answer.
Gu Jingyin took a step closer, stretched out his hand and slid it on his neck, then gently slid along the rope on his arm to his wrist, and then returned to his neck along the wrist.
Touching back and forth, slowly, seems to be enjoying.
Appreciate the fine ropes that cut into the flesh, the white skin that is red and bleeding, and the messy and broken snow-white clothes.
"You are so pretty." Gu Jingyin whispered.
Xu Mu smiled at him and said, "Are you happy?"
Gu Jingyin didn't answer, but untied the hair tie at the back of his head, letting his black hair fall down.
Seeing his loose long hair, the corners of Gu Jingyin's mouth raised slightly.
Xu Mu still smiled at him and said, "Be happy, I'm finally yours."
Gu Jingyin still didn't affirm the question, but lifted the clothes in front of him with his fingers, revealing the scarred skin.
Xu Mu smiled at him, breathing a little shortly, and said softly, "Kiss me quickly..."
Gu Jingyin clasped the back of his head with his hands, and kissed his lips.
Lingering, crazy.
A kiss was originally a very gentle gesture, but Gu Jingyin made it not gentle.
It seemed that the person in front of him was an old grudge, an old enemy, and he wanted to eat his blood and eat his flesh, and he wanted to eat his bones and burn him to ashes.
The bloody and dangerous lust filled the quiet cell.
Wheezing, heavy wheezing.
"Can you...can you let me go..." Xu Mu leaned on his shoulder and said lightly, his hair hanging down in front of him.
Gu Jingyin said: "Why should I let you go."
Xu Mu raised his head from his shoulder, with a begging look in his eyes: "I want to hug you..."
Gu Jingyin laughed after listening, a cold smile.
"But I'm worried." Gu Jingyin's words were as cold as his smile.
Xu Mu asked, "Why?"
"Because I don't believe you." Gu Jingyin looked down into his eyes.
Xu Mu raised his head and said bitterly: "Why are you still unwilling to believe me? I have nothing left, my reputation is ruined, I have nothing to rely on, I have nothing, I only have you left."
Gu Jingyin didn't speak.
"You want me to realize my stupidity, I have realized it, I understand it, I know the end of going against your will, I will not do it again, really not."
Gu Jingyin remained silent.
Xu Mu continued: "But you still don't want to rest assured, right? You took everything from me, but you're still afraid that my heart is not with you, right?"
Gu Jingyin didn't speak, nor did he deny it.
Xu Mu raised his eyelashes, his hair was disheveled, and his voice was slightly panting because of the pain in his body: "Then you want to cut my heart out to see."
"Tick-tock-"
Another drop of water landed on Xu Mu's temple, and flowed down the hair on the side of his face.
Gu Jingyin wrapped the lock of hair behind his ears for him, and said word by word: "If possible, I will."
"Then you might as well kill me here."
Xu Mu lowered his head and said to himself: "Kill me, you can rest assured forever, and I will never violate you again."
Gu Jingyin stroked his cheek lightly with his hands, lifted his face up, and then swept his thumb lightly over the corner of his eyes, "You said that you are my item, but if the item is damaged, you can still have fun." Is it worth it?"
Xu Mu clenched his hands tightly, and his fingertips sank deeply into his palms, bleeding out.
The words are bleak, the cell is bleak, and the heart is bleak.
The only thing he wants to do now is to hold the cold person in front of him into his arms, and use the little remaining warmth in his chest to warm him up.
"Jing Yin... Please let me go... Please..." Xu Mu felt a pain in his eyes, and the intense pain came from the bottom of his eyes, as if tears were about to come out, but they didn't.
Xu Mu's voice was not only trembling, but also weak: "I won't run away, I just want to hug you, like before, hug you..."
Gu Jingyin bent down and looked at his reddish eyes, "An item, does it have the right?"
Xu Mu felt his eyes blurred, and something cold slid down his face.
Gu Jingyin looked at him and actually smiled: "You also cry sometimes, but you actually cry."
Xu Mu wanted to reach out to wipe his tears, to squat down and bury this tear-stained face deeply in his arms, but his hands were tied tightly and he couldn't move, so he forced himself to stand, unable to move. Looking at it, revealing this face full of pain and unbearable.
"Does your heart hurt?" Gu Jingyin asked him.
Xu Mu's voice was a little choked, and he replied, "It doesn't hurt..."
My heart was very cold, and the pain was insignificant compared to the biting chill.
Gu Jingyin frowned, seemed a little displeased, and repeated in a low voice: "It doesn't hurt..."
Xu Mu raised his head, closed his eyes and leaned against the wall, took a few deep breaths, and held back his tears.
"Does it hurt?" Gu Jingyin asked him.
Xu Mu tried to move his two arms, but he was unconscious. After the extreme pain, he was extremely calm.
"It doesn't hurt..." Xu Mu replied softly.
Compared with the pain in my heart, the scars on my body are also insignificant.
Gu Jingyin took a step closer to him, took off his robe, "Then let me make you hurt a little bit, how about it?"
Xu Mu opened his eyes when he heard the sound of his clothes falling to the ground.
"Okay..." Xu Mu smiled softly at him, "Come on..."
Gu Jingyin stood in front of him, leaning against his body, and stretched out his hands to undo his clothes layer by layer.
This time the solution was neither urgent nor violent, but very careful and slow.
Xu Mu let him untie his clothes slowly, while watching him quietly, his gaze was still soft.
Xu Mu looked at his fine eyelashes, then at his white and tender cheeks, and then at those dark but extremely cold eyes.
After looking at it carefully, Xu Mu stood up straight, stepped forward, and kissed him.
Gently kissed the side of his cheek.
The long black hair was scattered between the two of them because they leaned forward, scraping against Gu Jingyin's ears.
But Gu Jingyin didn't respond at all, and still lowered his head to untie his belt, his whole body exuded a cold aura, as if he had no interest at all.
After Xu Mu kissed his cheek, he kissed his lips again.
But he avoided it.
"Can't you wait?" Gu Jingyin raised his eyes, his tone was still cold, with a hint of sarcasm.
Xu Mu smiled when he heard the words: "Yes, I can't wait..."
Hearing this, Gu Jingyin picked up the sword on the side and cut off the rope on his body.
Xu Mu's two arms, which had been bound for dozens of days, seemed to have been separated from his body, and they were not under his control at all.
It took Xu Mu a full 5 minutes to regain consciousness in his arm——and finally hugged the person in front of him.
Although it was a weak hug, Xu Mu felt very happy.
That person is finally no longer an illusion, no longer illusory, but really in his arms.
——It was still the person who could be hugged in my arms before.
"Jing Yin...Jing Yin..." Xu Mu almost exhausted all his strength, but his hands were still limp, and he couldn't hold him tightly in his arms.She called his name softly, but didn't know what to say next, "...you have grown up."
Xu Mu didn't know why he said "grow up."
Probably because he was always able to hold him in his arms with one hand in the past.
Not anymore.
Gu Jingyin's clothes were as cold as his expression, making this hug feel like falling into an ice cave.
"Why don't you hug me..." Xu Mu asked softly in his ear.
Gu Jingyin leaned over slightly, put one hand around his knee, hugged him horizontally, and placed him on the cold floor.
Xu Mu's long hair spread out and scattered all over the place.
"Are we going to be here?" Xu Mu's hands were still reluctant to slip off his body.
Gu Jingyin didn't answer, but took the rope on the ground and wrapped his two wrists together.
Xu Mu had no intention of breaking free, so no matter what he used to wrap his hand around it, it was the same, even if it was just a silk thread, he would not move.
Circle and circle.
Press on top of head.
Gu Jingyin didn't kiss him first like before, and didn't reach out to hug him, but knelt on the ground and tore off his shirt.
Xu Mu wanted to grab his hand with both hands, pulling him in front of her.
But Gu Jingyin pressed his hand back to the ground.
"Why don't you kiss me, don't hug me, don't you want to look at me..." Xu Mu asked softly while lying on the ground, looking into his face.
Gu Jingyin raised his head, his tone indifferent:
"Because I don't want to."
Then he looked at the people on the ground again, his tone was still cold, and he said slowly: "I want you to understand that whatever I want to do, you have to do."
Xu Mu still smiled at him: "Okay."
Xu Mu felt that a fire in his heart was gradually extinguished, turning into dead ashes.
Then a new flame slowly rose and grew stronger—a new belief.
A growing conviction.
Drops of water kept falling from the roof, hitting Xu Mu's cheeks, ears, and hair lightly.Xu Mu looked at the roof, wondering if there was a torrential rain outside and it leaked in.
Just as soon as he shifted his gaze to the roof, he felt a sudden coldness in his lower body.
Xu Mu had no choice but to withdraw his wandering thoughts, and slowly said: "Jing Yin... Please tell Miss Qiyue and Xiao Luo that I am dead, and let her stop looking for..."
When Gu Jingyin heard the words, there was no expression on his face, he just put down the bottom of his robe, got up slowly, walked to his face, grabbed his neck, and said gloomily: "What right do you have to be with me? Saying goodbye to the woman in front of you?"
Xu Mu was already panting slightly, but now he felt suffocated, and wanted to answer but couldn't make a sound.
"I... I don't even have any thoughts of leaving... What else do you have to worry about... Please... I don't want her to know me..." Xu Mu struggled with all his strength to speak in a hoarse voice Finished an incomplete sentence.
But Gu Jingyin didn't intend to let go at all, interrupted him and said: "Do you not want her to know what you look like now, or do you not want others to know the relationship between me and you? Feel ashamed? Shameful?"
Xu Mu gently grasped the wrist tightly strangled around his neck with his two tied hands, shook his head and said, "No...Jing Yin...No."
Gu Jingyin loosened her five fingers, as if she was thinking about something: "She is your fiancee, so you can't let her go, I actually forgot about it."
The restraint on the trachea was suddenly loosened, and a burst of cool air rushed into his mouth and nose, forcing Xu Mu to cough until he almost vomited blood: "Jing Yin...you...don't hurt them..."
But this sentence has no effect on extinguishing the fire at all, it only adds fuel to the fire.
A distorted smile rose from the corner of Gu Jingyin's mouth: "You reminded me."
Xu Mu didn't bother to wipe the blood from the corner of his mouth, and grabbed his hand with both hands, put it on his chest, and pressed it to his heart, and said in a hurried tone: "Jing Yin...we are already together like this...isn't this , Isn't it already good. You don't have to do anything anymore, it's all yours, and nothing will threaten you. Isn't it only my things that you destroy... They have nothing to do with me, have nothing to do with me , They are not my things...so you don't have to hurt them...you don't have to..."
Gu Jingyin only had two gloomy words: "Really."
Xu Mu held his cold hand in his palm and held it tightly: "You...what else do you want..."
Gu Jingyin lowered his eyelashes and smiled slightly: "They must be worried if they don't see you, why don't I invite them here."
Xu Mu's heart stopped beating suddenly, because the thing that had been beating in his chest seemed to have split open suddenly, and every time he moved again, a drop of blood would drip.
Xu Mu let go of his hand and sighed: "Jing Yin, you still don't think this is enough for me, you still want to keep pushing me so that I can't be a human being, right? Let the whole world know my fate and situation, right? .”
Gu Jingyin replied: "Yes."
Gu Jingyin stretched out his hand to support the back of his neck, lifted his upper body slightly, and let him look at him: "Only in this way will you completely give up, and they will also completely give up."
A drop of water hit Xu Mu's right eye, causing his eyes to turn red, and the drop of ice water flowed down again mixed with hot tears: "Jing Yin, my heart is dead. I don't have a heart anymore. dead long ago."
[There are still 18 minutes. 】
Gu Jingyin held the knee of his right leg and bent it upwards, putting it on his arm, showing a smile: "It's better to die."
Xu Mu hastily grabbed his hand, trying to pull him closer to him, pulled him closer to his face, wrapped his hands around his neck, opened his other leg and hooked his waist, closed his eyes kissed his lips.
Never want to open it again.
"Xu Muchen, tell me, what is your purpose?" Gu Jingyin slowly wrapped his hands around the back of his neck.
Xu Mu froze for a moment, and wanted to kiss him again, but Gu Jingyin got up.
Xu Mu hurriedly pulled him back: "I don't have any purpose, Jing Yin, I have no purpose, I just..."
"You just what?"
"I just……"
When that sentence was still in Xu Mu's heart, it was: I just like you, not just like you, maybe, it's... love?
That's why I care if you are real and love me too.
This love may have been born very early, but it was discovered very late.
In fact, I should have thought of it a long time ago. A kind of relationship is neither friendship, nor family affection, nor anything else, so what else can it be.
It's just a love.
So I will be happy when I see you, sad when I leave you, happy when I know you don’t hate me for the first time, and disappointed when I hear that you have always used tricks to me .
But Xu Mu's voice was dry, he couldn't say these things, and he didn't want to say them.
"Just what?" Gu Jingyin still stared at him, waiting for his answer.
"It's nothing."
Gu Jingyin sneered: "You don't want to say, you just want to?"
Xu Mu shook his head, a drop of tear in his eye socket was shaken out by himself, it slid down the corner of the eye, and slipped into the black hair behind the ear.
What he wanted was the same love, a simple, clear, and unimpured feeling.
But what he got was confinement and possession, and unscrupulous coercion.
The whole world seemed to be a cage carefully set up by that person for him.
"I just... hate you very much, Gu Jingyin." Xu Mu felt relieved after speaking.
He suddenly discovered that it turns out that it is much easier to say the word "hate" than the word "love".
Since he never said "love" to him, never say it.
Gu Jingyin smiled when he heard the words, and there seemed to be a distorted light in his eyes: "You finally told the truth, you are finally willing to tell the truth."
But then his face suddenly turned cold again: "So what if you hate me? You can't escape from me now. Rather than wanting a you who doesn't hate me, I would rather have someone who hates me but is in the palm of my hand." in you."
Xu Mu laughed when he heard the words, but tears welled up uncontrollably: "Okay, okay, okay, since you like it, then let your wish come true..."
The smile on the corner of Gu Jingyin's mouth became more and more distorted, and he reached out to wipe his tears, "You can cry, and you cry sometimes."
Xu Mu didn't dare to look at him anymore, so he shifted his gaze to the roof, and said slowly: "Jing Yin, if I die, then we won't see each other again in the next life, don't torment me anymore, let me go...forgive me I..."
Gu Jingyin's hand wiping his tears suddenly stopped, his voice was gloomy, and at first it was low, but then he became more and more angry: "I knew, I knew, I knew it was all fake! It's all about you The trick used to lie to me! Xu Muchen, how many times have you lied to me these years? How many times have you told me lies? How many times have I foolishly believed you? Until now your heart is still not with me! Why! Why? Why don't you want to stay here? You've been lying to me just now, haven't you? "
After the anger, there was an even more terrifying calmness: "Tell me, what tricks are you playing?"
But Xu Mu didn't care at all, perhaps because he really couldn't pull up the strength, he still said lightly: "I didn't play any tricks... Do you think that I am being polite to you to hide from you, and I am obedient to you? In order to play tricks, then what should I do, will you be satisfied only if you die..."
The room fell into silence again.One was lying on the ground with disheveled clothes; the other was sitting kneeling aside with gloomy eyes.
After being silent for a while, Xu Mu suddenly said: "Jing Yin... If I die, you shouldn't be sad."
"What are you going to do?" Gu Jingyin stared at the person below him.
"nothing……"
After Xu Mu said these three words, a sharp alert sounded like an alarm bell in his head, which almost exploded his head. Suddenly, his chest was stuffy, his mouth was fishy, and his eyes turned black.
"Jing Yin, Jing Yin..." Xu Mu didn't care about the pain on his body, hurriedly got up from the ground with difficulty, and anxiously grabbed his hand.Although it was pitch black in front of my eyes, I could still hear voices in my ears, "Listen to me, listen to me, give me your hand, don't hide, don't hide anymore..."
He wanted to pull him down, pull him in front of him, and kiss him again.
But the alarm sound in my head became more and more intense, and finally turned into a countdown.
Xu Mu groped back and forth in front of him, trying to grab his hands, his hands were trembling, and his breathing was rapid: "Jing Yin, Jing Yin...you must listen, what I just wanted to say is that I just like you very much, I like you, I never wanted to hide from you, I just don't know, I don't know how I feel, I don't know what you think, I don't know if you like it too... Did you hear me, you answer, you say In a word, let me know you heard..."
Tears choked into his throat, Xu Mu was forced to stop talking, and coughed up a puddle of blood.
Gu Jingyin didn't answer him, but hugged him in front of him.
"I love you, I really love you...these words are true..." Xu Mu hastily hugged the person in front of him tightly.
Xu Mu suddenly felt a sharp pain in his heart.
He regrets it!
He doesn't want to leave!
He doesn't want to leave this world!
He would rather be imprisoned like this for the rest of his life!
He suddenly figured it out, and just before he lost it, he suddenly realized that his dignity might be nothing compared to love.
Even if he is imprisoned, restricted, or demanded, he doesn't care, as long as he is the one who does these things, he doesn't care.
[The World Boundary is about to open. 】
"No, no, I don't want it anymore, let me stay, please, please let me stay..." Xu Mu's tears burst out instantly, and he shouted words that could not be said in a chaotic manner.
Gu Jingyin hugged him tighter, and said something in his ear, but it was drowned in the siren of the machine in his head.
Feeling that he was very close to him, Xu Mu spoke with all his strength, fearing that he would not be able to hear him, each sentence was hurried, and his voice was trembling: "Jing Yin... I'm sorry for you, I lied to you again, this time I'm going to lie to you again. Lied to you, but this is the last time. In the next life... don't meet me again, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, don't think of me again, don't..."
Xu Mu always heard people say that the last sentence he said to others was always incomplete.
He didn't believe it before, and he didn't think he would have so many words to say.
But he still didn't finish.
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