Captain Tu and her Doctor Shen

Tu Fei slept through the night, and when he woke up, the room was lit by warm yellow lights.

Tu Fei lost his mind for a moment, Qin Wan stroked her back gently, without saying a word.

Tu Fei stared at Qin Wan in a daze, and when she gradually regained consciousness, she remembered what happened in the afternoon.

Tu Fei sat up abruptly, Qin Wan smiled slightly, "Good evening, kid."

Tu Fei stood up in embarrassment, "I'm sorry."

"Heh~" Qin Wan raised her head and said with a smile, "You didn't do anything wrong, why do you have to apologize?"

"I didn't realize I fell asleep." Tu Fei lowered her head and whispered, her eyes were swollen and sore, Qin Wan stood up, raised her hand and gently patted Tu Fei's shoulder, "If possible, can you have dinner with me?" ? You should be hungry too, and I'm hungry too."

"Then I invite you to make up for it." Tu Fei was embarrassed, Qin Wan took off her white coat, and said with a smile: "No need to treat guests, I will take you to our cafeteria. Tonight there is tremella and lotus seed soup that I like."

The two had a quiet dinner. Tu Fei didn't eat much, and Qin Wan didn't have much appetite. "The air outside is pretty good, let's go for a walk together?"

"Don't you have to get off work?" Tu Fei noticed when he left the consultation room. The lights in other offices had already been turned off. Qin Wan put his hands in his pockets and said softly, "I'm alone, and I stay home when I meet. Yes, I am very happy to get along with one more."

"What about you? Kid." Qin Wan tilted her head to look at Tu Fei, and Tu Fei happened to look up at her too. The curve of the profile was really similar to Shen Qingqian's, as well as her temperament. Shen Qingqian spoke to her gently and softly. Yes, Qin Wan smiled, "Will you be a little bit happier when you're with me?"

A little bit of happiness, there should be some, Tu Fei sniffed, but didn't make a sound.

Qin Wan chuckled and said, "Do you mind if I call you a kid?"

Auntie doesn’t know how to call her a kid. Auntie calls her a kid. She still likes to be called a kid, but a kid is not bad either. She doesn’t care much about it. Tu Fei lowered his head and kicked the stones on the road, “Call me what you want.”

"You can call me a veteran cadre." Qin Wan said earnestly, "Everyone likes to put all kinds of intimate labels on people they like relatively. They think I have the style of a veteran cadre. Maybe it's because there are goji berries in the thermos."

These words made Tu Fei laugh, "Our chief and captain make tea in their cups."

"Then it seems that I am really a veteran cadre." Qin Wan smiled lightly, "You usually drink plain water, don't you want to make something?"

Tu Fei nodded, and she drank plain water.

The two of them strolled along the night tree-lined road, talking about unimportant topics. Qin Wan didn't specifically mention Tu Fei's memory loss. Tu Fei's cautiousness gradually faded away, and she entered a relatively free conversation state.

Qin Wan found a bench, "Sit for a while." Tu Fei sat next to her, most of the time, she still listened.

"You should work a lot of overtime, right?" Qin Wan talked about her work, "I also often work overtime, but I like to work overtime, probably the kind of work I like. I don't think overtime is painful. I Enjoyed it."

Tu Fei nodded, and so did she.

Qin Wan's voice was very soft, and it sounded warm and moist, which made people not resist, and accepted it naturally.

Tu Fei raised his head and squinted at the deep blue sky. There were very few stars in the city, and the occasional twinkle was an airplane.

Tu Fei heard the rumbling sound, she remembered the day when Shen Qingqian left, all the sad things rushed towards her non-stop.

Tu Fei sniffed softly, Qin Wan put his arms around Tu Fei's shoulders, and said softly: "I don't want you to say anything, I just want to tell you, I am willing to listen to anything you say, every word you say talk."

Qin Wan rubbed Tu Fei's shoulder, and said affectionately: "You are the child of my junior sister and friend. Although I have no children, I can understand their love for you. I also hope you are happy. If there is any trouble You, you can find me at any time, you don't have to worry about burdening me, and you don't have to worry about me telling the truth. This is my job, a job I love, and confidentiality is the most basic professional quality. You will stick to your professionalism.”

Tu Fei hummed lightly, but didn't say much.

Before leaving, Tu Fei and Qin Wan left each other's phone numbers, Tu Fei took a taxi home, and Qin Wan sent her a message: kid, I had a great chat with you, can I see you again next week?

Tu Fei didn't know if he would go next week, maybe he would.

When Tu Fei came home, Zhu Xiuyun greeted her at the door, "Have you eaten yet?"

Tu Fei nodded, "I ate with Doctor Qin." Tu Fei smiled helplessly when she remembered that Qin Wan said that he could call her a veteran cadre and she called her a child.

Zhu Xiuyun didn't ask about the hospital. She poured Tu Fei a glass of water, and Tu Fei sat in the living room for a while and then went back to his room.

Tu Fei spread out the notebook and tore off a page of letter paper. She held the pen for a long time without dropping it.

Tu Fei was lying on the bed, staring at the void, she didn't go to her aunt's house tonight, she forgot... Sigh.

Tu Fei got up, picked up a pen and paper, and said to Zhu Xiuyun before going out, "Mom, I want to sleep at my aunt's house tonight."

"Ah..." Zhu Xiuyun replied hesitantly: "Go, remember to lock the door and come back for dinner tomorrow morning."

Tu Fei obediently agreed, put on his shoes, and went to the opposite building.

Zhu Xiuyun watched the light on the opposite side come on, and she breathed a sigh of relief.

Zhu Xiuyun had talked with Qin Wan, Qin Wan said that she was right and timely to send Tu Fei to see a psychiatrist, she comforted Zhu Xiuyun that Tu Fei's problem is not big, but the amnesia will be difficult, it will be fine in the past.

Most people will get stability from those who are older than themselves, Qin Wan said so, Zhu Xiuyun felt relieved.

Tu Fei walked back and forth in Shen Qingqian's room many times, and finally she lay down on Shen Qingqian's bed, spread out the pen and paper, and began to write.

The first sentence is extremely difficult to write: Auntie, I have to accept the reality that I am starting to lose my memory.

Tu Fei fell asleep while writing that night, Zhu Xiuyun got up early in the morning, and the lights at the junior sister's house were still on.

Did this child stay up all night?Zhu Xiuyun was worried, and tiptoed into the room to see Tu Fei who was asleep. She was lying on the bed, with tears hanging from the corners of her eyes, and the paper on her cheek was covered with words.

The paper became wrinkled after being soaked and dried by tears, and the black characters were wetted by tears like scattered ink, and the fonts were also deformed.

Life always goes on, and on the surface it seems that nothing has changed.

Xing Sibo observed Tu Fei for a few days, except for the amnesia, the other parts of this girl have not changed, she is even more desperate than before.

Apart from the depression that Tu Fei couldn't hide sometimes, her overall complexion was actually better than before. Sometimes Chen Guanghui deliberately made fun of her, and when the two fought together, Chen Guanghui was at a disadvantage.

Tu Fei stepped up her training, and she didn't sleep enough. She used it to exercise her body. She felt that her body was getting better, her resistance was high, and her memory loss would stop.

Tu Fei still maintains the habit of keeping a diary every day, and writes down every detail, and looks back at the previous ones from time to time. She wants to see the day when her amnesia will stop.

Tu Fei sometimes went to Qin Wan's place, sometimes texted or chatted with her on the phone, there was no need to worry about getting along with Qin Wan, she followed Tu Fei's pace completely, and Tu Fei didn't have any pressure.

The only thing that Tu Fei was worried about was Shen Qingqian. She had less and less contact with Shen Qingqian. Shen Qingqian had already noticed that she was a person with strong endurance. She would rarely take the initiative to complain to Tu Fei, but tonight After opening the video, Shen Qingqian felt melancholy as if joking, "My child doesn't seem to like me that much anymore."

"No, I like Auntie." Tu Fei's heart ached, she picked up the pendant necklace around her neck, "I love Auntie, as long as..." Tu Fei couldn't say the rest of that hypothesis, she lowered her head and bit her lip, and squeezed it hard Tightening the pendant in his hand, he said softly, "As long as I am still Tu Fei, I will always love Auntie."

One day Tu Fei forgets who Tu Fei is, and she will lose all her loved ones.

"How are you recently?" The person in Shen Qingqian's video, her hair is a bit longer, but the neat short hair is still attractive, "You raise your head, I'll take a good look."

Tu Fei raised his head and tried to smile, "I'm fine, my body has recovered much better than before." It's just that my memory has started to regress, and I have to blurt out these words many times but I just don't say them.

Tu Fei couldn't think of a perfect solution, no matter what she did, she would be a kind of harm to Shen Qingqian.

Tu Fei thinks differently, she loves Shen Qingqian deeply, but Shen Qingqian has forgotten her, how can she accept the cruel truth?

Tu Fei asked herself: If Shen Qingqian is slowly losing memory, does she want Shen Qingqian to tell her the truth?Does she want Shen Qingqian to tell herself that she will go through the process of amnesia together with her?

The answer is: yes.

Tu Fei would hope that Shen Qingqian would tell herself that she would want to accompany Shen Qingqian on the last journey in her memory.

If Shen Qingqian was not abroad, Tu Fei really considered telling her that Tu Fei didn't want Shen Qingqian to give up the studies he had started for himself.

Tu Fei lives in contradictions every day. During the day she will devote herself to her work, and at night she will be immersed in the vortex from which she cannot escape.

As the weekend approached, it became a kind of torture for Tu Fei. She wanted to see Shen Qingqian, but she didn't dare to see her. She was afraid that Shen Qingqian would ask questions, so she had to lie most of the time.

Lying to the person you like makes you suffer even more.

There was a boulder in Tu Fei's heart, if she didn't say it, she felt like she was going crazy.

It was Saturday again, and Tu Fei was already worried about what to do tomorrow. She was thinking of an excuse. She wanted to go to Qin Wan tomorrow. She wanted to express her conflicts. How could she refuse Shen Qingqian's video?

When Tu Fei was struggling, Shen Qingqian took the initiative to send her a message, saying that there was something to do this week and he would not make a video.

Tu Fei felt a sense of relief, and she was glad that she didn't say it first.

Tu Fei went to the hospital alone on Sunday to find Qin Wan. She was sitting in a warm room with her head bowed and rubbing her hands anxiously.

Qin Wan poured a glass of warmer milk for Tu Fei, "Don't worry, take your time, I'll be yours for the whole afternoon."

Tu Fei's nails dug hard at her palms, leaving rows of nail marks like crooked moons. The faint tingling sensations alternated repeatedly, gradually dissolving and dissolving her vigilance and uneasiness.

When the palm of his left hand was covered with messy marks, Tu Fei finally took a deep breath, raised his head, and said in one breath, "I have someone I like, I love her very much, and she loves me too, she will give up because she loves me Many, I am amnesiac, and what I am most unwilling to do is that I will forget her, I don’t want to but I also know there is no way, so I don’t know whether I should tell her what is destined to happen, I am afraid that she will give up her studies for me Back home, I don't want her to be like this, but concealing and deceiving her makes me feel miserable, I..."

Having said this in one breath, Tu Fei's tears had already flowed down, and she sobbed choked up, "What should I do?"

Can anyone tell me how not to hurt someone I like, that makes me sadder than self-harm.

The author has something to say: I have nothing to say today, that's all.