Gu Qingci

In fact, I also know that Sha Yu has been hiding something, and it must be related to those things in the previous life.But I never asked.

I agreed with her idea, did not go back to the border mountain, and started westward.Sha Yu did not know how to make two masks, the appearance is very inconspicuous; the clothes we wear are also simple, just like this, from Jiangnan, Huaqiu, to Xihuai, Xianyang, all the way, the wind and the moon are boundless.

I stayed in that golden cage for too long, and my eyes were all focused on one person, so I missed many magnificent scenery.It turns out that the world of Daxing is so vast and lofty, rich and passionate.

One day when the sun was setting, I was squatting by the river in a water town and watching an old woman washing clothes.She was sitting on the steps with a wooden stick, with the river flowing by at her feet. The wooden stick made a muffled sound when it hit the sackcloth clothes once or twice, splashing a lot of water droplets. She wiped her face and continued Dry.

Behind him was a thatched hut, with smoke coming out of the mud chimney, and a young child's voice came from inside: "Old mother—it's time to eat!" The old woman laughed and shouted: "Here comes—"

When she smiled, the crow's feet at the corners of her eyes also turned up, forming a beautiful arc together with her mouth; those wrinkles were like the riverbed lines after being washed by the rolling river, so obvious, so moist and soft.

What do you say that Bai Ding is illiterate, and the commoners are so rough, their lives are so pure and vigorous, simple and happy.This is a happy mood, but I...

His eyes dimmed, he stood up, and left silently.

==

Sha Yu and I were walking very slowly because we were walking and strolling.When we arrived in Xianyang County, the four seasons walked around again, watching the sun in the sky gradually becoming more and more fierce, and gradually dying down.

The westernmost part of Xianyang County is a continuous stretch of mountains and endless desert. Fortunately, there is a tributary of Taihang Mountain passing through this land abandoned by water vapor.

When I went deep into the Xianyang desert, it was the end of August, a sensitive and secretive day.

"What day is today?" It's such a coincidence that I seldom ask the date, but I suddenly asked this question on this day.

Sha Yu was stunned for a moment, then said lightly: "24."

August 24, the anniversary of my death.It almost became a death day in this world.

"It's a good day." I sat on the horse and sighed looking at the golden gravel.It is said to be the day of death, but it has actually become the day of rebirth, which is worth celebrating.

"Uh haha, this..." She laughed a little stiffly, and started telling me jokes instead.Along the way, she told me countless anecdotes, and every time she encountered something novel, she held it in front of me like a treasure for me to appreciate.

She is really a person who likes to laugh, her eyebrows are beaming, and her spirits are flying.

Sha Yu said a lot of jokes in one breath in front of her, shaking her shoulders so much that she teased herself, and then looked back at me——she saw me with a blank face, and the long-lasting smile gradually disappeared on her face.

"Si baby, you don't even smile." She curled her lips, with deep disappointment in her eyes.

Yeah, I don't laugh.

In the past few months, she has used all kinds of ways and devoted all her enthusiasm to make me happy.The anecdotes she told were really interesting, and I followed her around and saw a vast world.For example, the overlapping waterfalls, the mountain tops that are very close to the stars in the night sky, the moment when the endless grassland meets the sunset in the sky...they are all beautiful and shocking.

But I am not happy.I can't take nourishment from these interesting and magnificent things, feel the joy, enjoy the joy.I don't know when it started, I haven't laughed for a long, long time, it seems that I have lost this "joy" emotion-this is the sadness for the rest of my life.

"Then I'll smile." Trying to control the facial features on his face, he wanted the corners of his mouth to turn up, his eyes to bend, and then he squeezed out a smile.

"Well, think about the baby, don't force yourself to laugh if you don't want to laugh, it's ugly." She said.

"Why can't I make you happy?" she asked again.

"Siwa, I know so many amazing formations, I am one of the best martial arts masters in the world, and I am also proficient in divination and astrology, but why can't I make you laugh?" She was discouraged, and her tone was a bit aggressive.

"Master said before that there is a fate between people. I'm afraid we have fate but no fate."

There are many people in this world who are predestined but not related, and Sha Yu and I are not related.

"How, how can I make you happy..." Sha Yu raised her usually rebellious eyes.

"Don't force yourself, Sister Sha. Maybe there was a way before, but now there is no more." There was no wind and no waves in my heart.

So dying is actually much easier than living. Closing my eyes is a relief, and I don't have to bear these...unexplainable pains.

"In the past few months, I've taken you on a tour of mountains and rivers. I want you to stop thinking about those unpleasant things and have a better life. But you are still not happy at all! You doll...you really like it that much That woman?" Her last sentence was harsh.

"It's no longer a question of whether I like it or not. My enthusiasm and joy have been exhausted in this endless tragedy, leaving only tiredness, and if I have to say, a little bit of loneliness."

"Lonely?" She seemed to have heard some funny words, a woman like Sha Yu had no less self-esteem than Liu Yueying.

"Worry baby, I, I can't make you..." Don't you feel lonely? ——She didn't ask this sentence, but it's not hard to guess.

I'm afraid she can't bear that she suddenly became so humble.So, what does she mean to me?A year is fleeting, and no matter how sluggish it is, I can still feel it, because she is too obvious, so obvious that I am afraid that I will not know that she is treating me well.But now, she couldn't bear it anymore, she must be very disappointed.

I saw Sha Yu took a deep breath, as if she was strengthening her determination.She was finally going to tell me something that I had long since forgotten, but that had troubled her for so long.

"You doll, you really can't remember at all..." She was struggling for the last time, but I interrupted her and said directly: "Yes. Regarding you, I can't remember any stories we had before. .”

She didn't expect me to be so direct and straightforward, so she raised her head after a long delay: "...Okay, okay!" Those seductive eyes were pierced by the sun in the sky, and they emitted a clear red light: "You are in the cycle of reincarnation. Forget about me...haha, you chose to remember her and then forget about me—how good, how good!"

Sha Yu's laughter echoed in the boundless desert, and the yellow sand and dust swirled on the ground, feeling desolate for no reason.

The red eyes gradually moved to me, she squinted her eyes and asked me: "Li baby, that day I sneaked into the palace and said that I would take you away, do you have any familiarity and longing?"

"Yes." I nodded solemnly: "I am familiar with many of your behaviors. But that's all."

"Okay!" She turned over and jumped off the horse, standing in the yellow sand all over the sky.

That silhouette is really like a knight in wanton rivers and lakes.

In a trance, I saw her holding a jug and drinking it with her head up, she took me across thousands of mountains and rivers, she taught me how to wield a sword and pick flowers, the red rope on her head was so bright... Then, these hallucinations disappeared , She just stood firmly in the yellow sand, standing in front of the big horse I was riding.

"To tell you the truth, Li baby, from the moment the universe was reset, it has been declared that you have not changed anything in your life. Except for surviving by luck, everything else is proceeding step by step. The sun rises in the east and sets in the west. The moon waxes and wanes." The corner of Sha Yu's mouth was sarcasm, as if he was laughing at me, an incompetent person.

"Yes, I guessed it too."

"So counting the days, Liu Yueying can only live for another five months. I'm afraid she has..." She purposely didn't finish her sentence, and put an orchid finger on her right hand: "Do you want to go back and see her?"

I suddenly felt a great sadness.Not to sympathize with her near death, but to lament the years I have spent with her.We are all puppets controlled by fate, living self-righteously, and Qiankun has already made a destiny in the dark, and we can't break free.

"I'm done with her. Whether she lives or dies has nothing to do with me." As he said these words, his heart was bleeding.

The playful eyes disappeared at that moment.Joking, flamboyance, and brilliance, all of Sha Yu's emotions and traits were hidden, and she said blankly: "Si baby, there is something I have kept from you for a long time, and now I want to make it clear to you. After you finish listening , it’s not too late to decide to stay.”

"Yan Xi and Yang Zhi were assassinated in a border town, not by Liu Yueying."

"Don't make such jokes to comfort me."

"I'm not joking. Yan Xi recognizes those people. I was afraid that she would talk about it after meeting you, so I wrote a letter in advance to tell them not to come back."

"Do you know what I'm talking about!" I also rolled over from the horse, my heart sinking.The fact that Liu Yueying wanted Yan Xi and Yang Zhi's life was the last straw that broke the camel's back, and it was the ultimate reason why I hated her so much.

"I know. To tell you the truth, when Yan Xi was an imperial envoy, she didn't handle well with the local people. In her eagerness for quick success, she tore down the fairy temple they had believed in for generations. Those people hated her to the core. That's why Liu Yueying ordered the massacre of the village back then. With the right decision, if Yan Xi escapes the protection of the capital, he will be chased and killed by those people with ease." Sha Yu said calmly, but it made me start to tremble.

"If we really kill them all, there will be nothing to do next, but the bad thing is that the town patriarch and the executioner were old acquaintances, and the executioner softened at a thought, and let six or seven teenagers go away Those teenagers were half of the hatred of faith, half of the hatred of extermination of the clan, all blamed on Yan Xi's head, and vowed to take revenge. They rescued some homeless people who had nowhere to go, and gathered in a small town over there to form a gang, dormant It's been a long time. Therefore, the people who assassinated Yan Xi were the orphans in Daiwan County who should have been wiped out."

"What about the knife and token?!" I just felt dizzy, what became of these ironclad evidence?

"Liu Yueying sent people from the Wind Banner Army to investigate the Nanman many years ago, but none of them came back. Most of them were caught in the miasma in the swamp due to lack of preparation. The group of desperadoes just happened to find the Wind Banner Army the remains of his body, picked up his knife, and took his token."

"You knew all these things early on?" The anger in my heart was soaring, I was really incompetent and stupid.

"Of course I know that only one of the knives in the hands of those people is real, and the rest are all defective products made in the blacksmith's shop in imitation of regulations." The token of the Banner Army is just a big piece of gold, which is broken and distributed to each of the brothers. Hahaha——" The stone paint on the outside of the statue cracked and peeled off, and she began to laugh wildly.

"Tell me, isn't it ridiculous that she, Liu Yueying, fell into the hands of these ants in the end? Hahaha!" The more she laughed, the more wildly she laughed, until she hit her belly with laughter, and she almost burst into tears from the corners of her eyes.

I punched her hard in the face, she covered her face and looked at me, and I clenched my fist and hit her on the arm again.It was too easy to dodge with Sha Yu's martial arts, but she didn't dodge even once.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner! Why did you hide it from me!" she shouted with tears in her eyes, and her sight began to be occupied by water mist again.

What kind of shit doesn't care about everything anymore, there is no wave, the heart is like stagnant water, there is no sadness or joy... Shit!

This woman, Sha Yu, played tricks on me and Liu Yueying at the same time.

"What's so good about her, Liu Yueying! Selfish, cold-blooded, is it worth your two lifetimes? Worth it that you only remember her and forget about me? Yang Li——My wish is very simple, I just hope that you can live a simple and happy life, Wouldn’t it be good for me to take you all over the world! When I was going to take you away, you were obviously tempted!” Sha Yu’s eyes were red, she stared at me naked, then raised her head and shouted to the sky: “But The sky doesn’t help me! The sky doesn’t want to help me!! The emperor’s star power resets the heavens and the earth, and it coincides with the ending of the previous life, I’m sorry!”

She slumped to the ground, the smile in Danfeng's eyes was completely replaced by hatred, like a peach blossom that withered and turned into dust.

I was angry, confused, and tried to calm myself down. I gritted my molars and said, "Sha Yu, I don't remember anything about what happened between us in the previous life. I don't remember anything from the past, not only about you, but also about you." It's about Liu Yueying." She heard me say this, and looked up at me again.

"All I know about her comes from the history books, not the remaining memories. Do you understand the difference? So, if you still regard 'me' as the former genitalia, it is a big mistake. She has completely separated from me. No more contact." I spoke slowly and tiredly.

"In the past few months, these years, you have helped me so much, and I will always remember these kindnesses in my heart - but you shouldn't hide such important things from me. Sha Yu, although I am compared with you and Liu Yueying Always the weakest, but I can't accept being fooled by you like this. So, we owe each other nothing."

"I'm going back to Jincheng, you can go wherever you want, just don't follow me anymore. Let's just say goodbye, and there will be no future!" I hugged her and gave her a fistful salute, never seeing her sad expression again. Dust away.