die without a problem

It was only three days, and Chen Chen felt that he had experienced the whole period from being passionate to being broken in love to licking the wound alone.He wanted to talk, but didn't know where to start.

But Cheng Lang noticed something.In his heart, senior brother is a naive but serious person about feelings. No matter what kind of body view he says he holds, emotionally he is old-fashioned, cautious, and innocent.At the same time, if you want him to speak, you have to throw the talker over and coax him.

Chen Chen told Cheng Lang about his childhood and what happened during the three days on New Year's Day.

"You like him that much?"

"No." This sentence is not too plausible.It's not that he has to do it, and it's not necessary to seek death and life, but when I think about it, I feel a dull pain.If you have the idea of ​​giving up from the beginning, one day you will not like it that much.But, now...

"Brother, if you believe him, go after him." Cheng Lang encouraged after pondering, "Actually, you understand what I want to say. Just one thing, we have known each other for so many years, and you don't like to care about anyone. In fact, sometimes we all I am very worried about you. Ever since your grandfather passed away, I am afraid that you have lost the bond and contact with this world, and you are so indifferent that you have nothing to insist on."

"You're worried that I'm going to die." Chen Chen really didn't expect Cheng Lang to worry about this.

"Once upon a time." Cheng Lang smiled slightly, "I still hope that the kite has a thread and the duckweed has roots. The best situation is that someone loves you more than you love him, and takes good care of you. Now this is the next best thing. Something is better than nothing good."

"But falling in love is hard, maybe I'm just another Yu Cong if I work hard."

Cheng Lang supported his shoulders and shook him vigorously, "Yu Cong is not his ex-boyfriend, and you are not Yu Cong. Since we have said that falling in love is not easy, don't hold the idea of ​​giving up when everything goes smoothly and when there are setbacks." ah."

"But……"

"Love is long-suffering, never heard of it."

Chen Chen was very happy that Cheng Lang supported him.

Even so, no action was taken to start a prairie fire.Without action, there is nothing wrong, no sin, though no joy either.Is it enough, this feeble freedom?

They graduated in June. At this time, they are all busy writing papers, preparing for blind exams, defending, and preparing for graduation exams.Yu Cong's major should have been recruited years ago, but it is not yet known where he will work.In Chen Chen's words, he was waiting for the final result of the doctoral examination, and at the same time, he had to keep submitting resumes for interviews in case he was not selected.And medical professions are often recruited late.

Everyone is so overwhelmed that they really can't spare their thoughts and energy to enjoy the romance.I still have regular contact, communicate with each other about the progress of the thesis, express my irritability, and say good morning and good night inadvertently.

But under the tremendous pressure, missing is still like the grass beside the stream, with a bit of a sad taste.Chen Chen thought, Yu Cong really looks like his lower left wisdom tooth.It always hurts for a while suddenly, thinking that the pain has passed, I immediately pull it out.But once you calm down, you are still willing to live with it.He is his ongoing pain.

Sometimes I couldn't bear it anymore, so I told Cheng Lang.

The number of times is too many, and the younger brother no longer ignorantly persuades him to goon, but just pushes up his glasses, "You who are broken in love, you will diverge and make analogies. Wisdom teeth are also you, Hong Kong is also you, love songs are also you, he is like everything you Something that feels sad."

"How can you understand my mood? You still laugh at me, won't your conscience be disturbed?

"Brother, don't you always scold me hahahaha, you are heartless."

Chen Chen had nothing to say, "Tch, you guys who are in love are not comparable."

"Like? I haven't."

"You Le Mei?"

"It's too old-fashioned. You Lemei are no longer sold in supermarkets. You say that the scalpel is more reliable."

"Being treated as a scalpel, Xiaoyao won't be very happy."

Cheng Lang touched his chest, "She understands that the scalpel is my life's choice."

"She or the scalpel, which one do you choose?"

"With me without the scalpel, she might not choose me, so the situation you mentioned does not exist."

"I just want to send you a word." A little sour, a little touched, Chen Chen grinned.

"I know you're going to call me a prodigal again."

"roll!"

"Brother, thank you for being able to bear it."

Chen Chen smiled wryly, he could hardly bear it anymore.

Before the Ching Ming Festival, the blind draw was finally over, and the papers were sent out.The results of the doctoral examination in the school came out, and he stayed as he wished.I could relax a bit, but I was lying in bed that night and couldn't fall asleep for a long time.Due to the nature of his work, he has woken up at three o'clock in the morning many times, but none of them are tossing and turning like today.

His chest was bulging with feelings about to overflow, Chen Chen tossed and turned for a long time, remembering what Yu Cong said casually at that time, "Let's see the cherry blossoms in March", he couldn't control it anymore, got up and went to the West Campus, to the Cherry Blossom Road .

This season is full of people watching cherry blossoms. No matter it is day, night, weekdays or weekends, the cherry blossom road is full of people.Rather than seeing the cherry blossoms, it is better to say that it is crowded.Only at this moment, at three or four in the morning, did it finally calm down.This is appropriate. Although the cherry blossoms are bright and lively, they are a symbol of loneliness after all.

Chen Chen walked down the slope from the main entrance of the lake, and the night wind, carrying moisture and warmth, brushed against his face in the darkness.Suddenly, I remembered the scene in Haijie Diary, where the fourth sister's classmate drove her through the cherry blossoms.It is also such a spring, so gentle.

When I came to the gate of the temple, there was silence inside, and the smoke and fire in the daytime disappeared.Chen Chen stared blankly for a long time, felt stupid, and said in his heart, if you are real, please let us be together.After making a wish, put your hands in your pockets and continue walking down.

Time flies so fast, the scene where he and Yu Cong walked here three months ago still seems like yesterday.Recalling the sweet dreams of the past, walking on the road where the cherry blossom petals are slowly falling at night, Chen Chen was quite drunk.He took out his mobile phone and sent Yu Cong a WeChat message, 'Come out and see the cherry blossoms. 'I took a picture and sent it, but I couldn't see it clearly, only the blurred light of the street lamp.But the night gave people the illusion of certainty, he thought Yu Cong would come.

Sitting under a cherry blossom tree, time stands still.If Yu Cong doesn't come, he will leave until sunrise.The petals fell to his shoulders, Chen Chen looked sideways and couldn't bear to flick them off.While waiting, exhaustion appeared, which was in stark contrast to the energy just now. Maybe it was the place where I wanted to come, so I could relax.

Yu Cong came up the ramp and saw a few scattered people.He turned his gaze around, and saw Chen Chen lying on his lap.He approached lightly.

Chen Chen noticed it and raised his head to look up. "You're here." He rubbed his eyes.

Yu Cong looked at him with that palpitating light again.

They looked at each other for a few seconds, but I didn't know, it seemed like a long time.Chen Chen turned his gaze away first.

Yu Cong pulled him up, pressed his head, and kissed him fiercely.Chen Chen hugged his waist loosely but very tightly.

The kiss gradually becomes tender.I want to just kiss like this, without talking, without looking at each other, without talking about the next moment and tomorrow, without saying goodbye.

But not possible.

They walked up the cherry blossom road.

"Why did you come here in the middle of the night?" Yu Cong didn't think it was an interruption, and was even a little happy.

Chen Chen was silent.Yu Cong thought he was unhappy.

"I miss you."

Yu Cong's heart skipped a beat, he didn't know how to answer, he just took his hand, hoping that the other party could understand this unspeakable tenderness.

The night wind blows the hands that are holding each other.

"Is the result of the doctoral examination coming out, so I will stay in this school?"

"Well. What about you, where is your job?"

"Shanghai."

Chen Chen's heart sank, because Yu Cong's option was at least the city.

"Have you decided?"

"Well. Our major has been in a downturn for the past two years, and Beijing or Shanghai will be relatively better."

Chen Chen thought of his ex-boyfriend in high school.At that time, they didn't know enough about the world, and when they fell in love, they said they would be together for the rest of their lives, and even looked forward to the scene of getting married in the future.I made an appointment to apply for a university in this city together, but my ex-boyfriend's score was lower than his, and he went to other provinces for a better major instead of a better school.He also comforted him, for tomorrow, for the future, it doesn't matter.Looking from the back to the front, it really doesn't matter, but there is no more him in it since then.

It's completely different now than it was then, they're all grown-ups.Chen Chen wanted to ask, can you stay, for the seven years you have spent in this city, for your relatives, friends, teachers and friends, and me?But unspoken, they are nothing.There is no promise, no restraint, and even ambiguity is vague.

Willful demands to be together forever, that's what a child would say.There are many things that happen in life that we can do nothing about.

This topic is one, and two is two.It can be regarded as reaching a consensus, so I won't mention it any more.

They walked slowly.

But there are still doubts to be answered. "You said, why does one person forget another person?"

"That depends on many situations." Yu Cong wanted to answer this question seriously, and then realized that he was not the only one who knew the answer.Probably the person who asked the question had already thought about it deeply, so he lost interest.He no longer classified them into categories, and simply said, "If it is not important enough, it will naturally not be remembered deeply enough. Just like Lu Yao, it is engraved on the heart of your junior brother, and he will never forget it until he dies."

"Oh." Enlightened.

"What are you worried about? Are you afraid that I will forget you?"

You've forgotten me, once.Chen Chen didn't speak.

"I should be more worried." Yu Cong turned sideways, facing him. "Sometimes, I feel like you, a snow falls in your heart from time to time. After a while, there is no trace of my name being covered. Then the sun shines and melts away."

Why don't you say that the time and pressure are enough, and you may become a corpse that will never disappear in the glacier. I won't always have light in my heart.But Chen Chen was unwilling to say.He said, "I hope so."

They went to walk along the lake again.At sunrise, each went back to school.Chen Chen fell asleep as soon as he posted it on the bed, and slept for a long, long time.

After that, I was busy preparing for the defense, submitting materials, moving dormitories, sending things home, and experiencing the separation of classmates and alumni.When the dust settled, Chen Chen was already in the laboratory, and Yu Cong was settled in Shanghai.

There were fewer contacts, and the topics were no longer as fresh as before, and finally one day the WeChat chat stopped on a certain date.

The circle of friends has not been deleted, and Chen Chen roughly knows what happened in Yu Cong's life, but if he doesn't know, he just watches silently, and can't even continue liking.

The promise between them has been fulfilled. Twelve years ago, Yu Cong asked himself to find him. He was lost, but he was found again. 12 years later they watched the cherry blossoms.It's just the ending, or nothing.

There is probably no one who doesn't like a happy ending.Consummation, even if it is natural to slack off and forget without any burden.Is this negative or another truth?

In any case, Chen Chen thanked him for appearing in his life.

FIN2017.04.04 in Nanjing

The author has something to say: anticlimactic.