Song of Glass

Everyone keeps saying that time changes everything, but it turns out that there are some things that time really can't.

In these days without meeting or contacting each other, Pu Songqiu still couldn't really forget his feeling about Jiao Wangyu. He thought that the long-term parting would make him forget gradually, but what time brought him was the growing longing.

I wanted to contact, but after some self-struggle, I gave up.

As the saying goes, mediocrity.

Pu Songqiu thought, let me, a mediocre person, keep disturbing myself, and don't disturb other people.

A 26-year-old boy who works in the store with Pu Songqiu, the two get along pretty well.One day, Pu Songqiu worked the night shift, and there were no customers in the shop in the second half of the night. He sat there reading a book, and when he came back to his senses, he found that his companion was not there.He stood up, looked around, and found the other party smoking at the door.

Pu Songqiu could also see the sadness on the other person's face through the glass door. He was not a nosy person, but watching that scene, his addiction to cigarettes was also aroused.

At three o'clock in the middle of the night, Pu Songqiu pushed the door out with a cigarette, stood beside that person, and lit a cigarette too.

The other party looked at him: "The room is stuffy."

"En." Pu Songqiu took a puff, then looked up at the empty street.

The two stood in the thick night and smoked silently. After a while, the people around him asked him, "Is there something on your mind?"

Pu Songqiu didn't know how to answer, so he just took a deep breath.

The other party smiled and sat down on the steps, Pu Songqiu followed him and sat down on the steps in front of the convenience store.

At this time, it was already autumn, half a year had passed since the last time he saw Jiao Wangyu, and there had been two seasons blank between them.

Sometimes Pu Songqiu would despise himself, for such a big man, he always hid himself and blamed himself, he was very hopeless.

But if he really wants to change something, he doesn't have the ability, nor does he have the courage.

As for himself, Pu Songqiu doesn't care. No one in his future life will ask him to have an explanation. with others.

He is fearless, but Jiao Wangyu can't.

You can't be too selfish in life, you should always consider others.

"Because of feelings?" The smoker sitting next to Pu Songqiu turned to look at him, "Because of someone you like?"

Pu Songqiu didn't know how he guessed, maybe he was really the same as the other party, with sadness written on his face.

"Ah."

The autumn wind blew past in the middle of the night, and it was so cold that goose bumps appeared on both of them.

"It's been a long time, we two are brothers and sisters." When the other party was speaking, he smiled wryly, smiled, and sighed again.

Pu Songqiu looked at him: "Are you okay?"

"It's okay, let's do it." The burning cigarette butt looked very lonely at night, even though it didn't exist alone, and there was a "difficult brother" beside it.

Pu Songqiu just looked at him and didn't continue to ask.

"Rejected the girl I really like."

Pu Songqiu was raising his hand to smoke, when he heard what he said, he looked at him in surprise.

The person next to him raised his hand and rubbed his face vigorously, then took another drag on his cigarette.

"Do you want to ask why you still refuse if you like it?"

In fact, Pu Songqiu can understand "rejecting if you like it", because everyone has their own unspeakable secrets, but he really doesn't understand why the person sitting next to him with a frowning face and smoking a cigarette is doing this, because it can be seen that, He is suffering because of it.

"Scared." Another puff of smoke passed through his lungs.

Pu Songqiu quietly listened to the other party confiding: "I can give her love, but I can't give her more."

With such a sentence, Pu Songqiu suddenly thought of Jiao Wangyu.

It was another autumn, and another freshman class. At this time last year, he had just started to live with Jiao Wangyu day and night. At that time, he was in conflict every day, wanting to get close but not getting too close.

Pu Songqiu can give Jiao Wangyu love, but other than that, it seems that he can't give anything else, and once he expresses this love, there will probably be one after another trouble and depression that will follow.

"Ever since I was sensible, I have been very determined that I will not get married in the future." After finishing the cigarette, Pu Songqiu handed him one, "Thank you."

The boy lit his cigarette again and took a puff: "It's really my parents who made me fear marriage."

Pu Songqiu listened, staring at the cigarette between his fingers.

He is different from the other party. He used to have a very warm family.

Their family has never been rich. It is an ordinary family of three, but they have always respected and loved each other. He has grown up so much, and until his father passed away, he has never seen his parents quarrel.

Pu Songqiu has always felt that marriage is actually a beautiful thing, a happy family, what else in the world is more worth pursuing than this?

However, his perfect family is now torn apart, and he doesn't know if his parents will meet again there. If they can meet again, his father will still hold his mother's hand and walk forward together, walking calmly and loving each other.

If this is really the case, Pu Songqiu can feel a little more at ease.

"I'm too determined to get married." The other party was smoking a cigarette, and when he spoke, the ash was scattered in the air, "Because of this, when I meet a girl I like, I dare not fall in love with her."

Pu Songqiu probably understood.

"My attitude towards life is like this, and my choice is like this. I can restrain myself like this, but it is impossible for others to bear it with me."

You can step on the mud under your feet however you want, but you must not dirty other people's shoes.

"Love, it's not that simple."

Pu Songqiu nodded, and then realized that the cigarettes in his hand had also run out.

"Since you can't responsibly give her the future she deserves, then don't start at all. Short-term pain is worse than long-term pain, and kill all wrong possibilities in the cradle." After speaking, he smiled, but that Laughter is extraordinarily bitter.

Who said that human sorrows and joys are not interlinked?

At this moment, Pu Songqiu could understand the other party's sadness.

Because he can understand, because there is no difference between him and the other party in essence.

Because there is no reasonable future that can be explained, so don't start, don't hold expectations.

====================

The music for the closing of the library sounded, and Jiao Wangyu packed his things and prepared to go back to the dormitory.

He walked out of the gate with his schoolbag on his back, turned on the flashlight, and walked down the steps cautiously against the edge of the steps.

On the way back to the dormitory, Jiao Wangyu received a WeChat message from Yingzong, asking him if he had time to have dinner together on weekends.

Since Pu Songqiu dropped out of school, Jiao Wangyu's personality has changed a lot. He talks less than before, and he is not as noisy as before. Pu Songqiu.

Jiao Wangyu actually just felt depressed.

When you are depressed, you should always find a way to release it.

It was precisely because of this that he got very close to Ying Zong in a daze.

Jiao Wangyu still won't tell Yingzong anything, but he has heard and seen a lot from Yingzong.

Maybe it was because of conflicts with his roommates, or maybe it was something else, Yingzong later moved out of the school dormitory and rented an apartment in the opposite community.

Jiao Wangyu started to get closer to Yingzong because once he was really uncomfortable, and he ran out to drink secretly by himself. After drinking too much, it was night again, and his small flashlight went to nowhere. When crossing the road, I dare not move my legs.

That night, he sat on the side of the road and kept sitting there, thinking about Pu Songqiu.

If Pu Songqiu is here, he can get the other party to pick him up with just one phone call.

In fact, it's perfectly fine to call Cheng Er or Jian Shao, but he just doesn't want to.

He just competed with himself like that, and then until after eleven o'clock in the evening, the dormitory building was locked, and he still didn't go back, still sitting on the side of the road dizzy and smoking a cigarette.

That night he met Ying Zong who came back from the bar. Ying Zong also smelled of cigarettes and alcohol, but he was much more sober than him.

Ying Zong took him back to his apartment and let him sleep on his sofa overnight.

When I woke up the next day, the two chatted a lot.

Jiao Wangyu didn't tell Yingzong the reason why he came out to drink, nor did he tell him that he had someone hidden in his heart, but he just said that he felt a lot of pressure and pressure from studying.

Anyone who hears this will laugh for a while and then say that I don't believe your nonsense.

But Yingzong just drank water and listened, and didn't expose him.

After that, Jiao Wangyu stopped talking, and Ying Zong said instead.

Ying Zong told him that after he moved out of school, his life suddenly became brighter, away from those who had nothing to do with him and the dirty man whose mouth was worse than a poisonous woman, his whole body was full of energy, and he could live for several years longer.

Ying Zong told him that he was seriously in love with someone. The owner of the bar was not young, but he was very attractive. In order to pursue him, Ying Zong went to his bar every week. He confessed his love three times a month, but was rejected. up.

Ying Zong also told him that he had thought a lot, that it is better to live in his own consciousness than to live in the eyes of others. Life is his own. In just a few decades, he may die in an accident one day. You have to hurry up to find someone you like, confess your love, and make love with your sweetheart.

Jiao Wangyu listened without saying a word.

His views are not exactly the same as those of Ying Zong, and he does not fully agree with some of Ying Zong's remarks.

But this doesn't stop him from admiring the other person. If he had the chicness of the other person, he might not have to drink alone and miss that person while sitting on the side of the road.

Jiao Wangyu cares too much about what others think, is too afraid of being rejected, and is even more afraid of causing trouble to others due to her sexual orientation.

He can't be as fearless as Ying Zong.

Ying Zong talked a lot that day, and he talked very excitedly. The next night, Ying Zong took Jiao Wangyu to the bar to see the person he liked.

Ying Zong is a very self-conscious person. He doesn't care what others think, and he doesn't care about others' rejection. He chases after what he wants, and hooks the other's arm even when crossing the crowd.

When Jiao Wangyu looked at him, he would occasionally fantasize that he was someone like him, that he would boldly pursue Pu Songqiu, hug him, and say he wanted to make love to him.

Every time he thinks of this, Jiao Wangyu can't help laughing with red ears.

Fantasy is such a joy, no wonder some people would rather live a false fantasy than face reality.

作者有话要说：感谢在2020-07-1906:44:51~2020-07-2006:59:51期间为我投出霸王票或灌溉营养液的小天使哦~

Thanks to the little angel who threw the mine: Xiang Bei 1;

Thanks to the little angels of the irrigation nutrient solution: 39 bottles of bean packets; 30 bottles of Chang'an;

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!