Do you have a scholarly tyranny?

When the two first got together, Tan Siming asked Xi Hu why he chose him. At that time, Xi Hu acted like a fool and put forward the theory of "black and white matching".

Regardless of whether Xi Hu believed it or not, Tan Siming did not believe it for this reason.

Xi Hu, Tan Siming's first impression was a blooming rose.The rich hormonal aura emanated, Yingying Yanyan circled around him, fascinated by the attraction.

Tan Siming, who was in junior high school, watched with cold eyes, a little bit of a second-school illness.

He looked at the surrounding area that was so smoked that he was unconscious, and there was a kind of loneliness that the world was blind and only I was worthy of my name.

However, inhaling second-hand smoke is always not good for physical and mental health, and the second disease will always be retribution on oneself—Tan Siming watched it for a long time indifferently, and involuntarily, he really became motionless.

His eyes were glued to the flower.

This rose is still full of teeth and claws, I don't know what to cherish, and it has excellent genes, but it is always discarded like a shoe. It sticks out its thorns again and again, challenging Tan Siming's "learning" bottom line.

Tan Siming has done a lot of psychological construction for himself for this, so long that he plucked up the courage, and finally stepped forward to explore, thinking that he was doing harm to the people, but found that this flower really made the dog's tail continue. The meaning has been fully interpreted—on the surface, it is forcibly standing, but the roots are about to die in the soil.

Tan Siming usually pays attention to controlling his emotions, but during the senior high school entrance examination, he lost his temper like never before.

He wanted to leave angrily, but found that at some point, he was addicted to watching Xi Hu.

Just wanting to turn around and leave for a moment, it hurts like bone and flesh.

When he realized what caused his strangeness, Tan Siming was ready to run away for the first time, and retreated directly, and he didn't want the bottom line-but he really couldn't go.

After being in that bewitching fragrance for too long, all the ability to move was corroded and festered clean.

He thought, it's over, this flower is poisonous.

"Why did you still come here?" Xi Hu was asking him.

Tan Siming folded the newspaper and neatly stacked the edges.

Once, by writing a diary, he analyzed himself for a whole year and touched his internal organs clearly. Finally, there was a sign of letting them return to their original place firmly. In the end, he Sorted into the same class as Xi Hu, Anwen's self-deception fell apart again.

Tan Siming let go of his eagerness to move, and changed direction to regain control - he thought at the time, he couldn't act too hastily, the rotten root needed to heal itself, but he could put a glass cover on it from the outside first.

"I'm worried about you, I'm afraid something will happen to you."

Tan Siming took the conversation, and it was natural and smooth, "Remember we are in Lou County, the last question of the truth, I want you to promise me, work hard together, and communicate with each other."

It's like a draft has been made, so you don't need to think, just take it out of your heart: "You work very hard, you have always accepted and tolerated me unconditionally, you can understand what I say, and you basically understand what I want you to do. And it did."

When Tan Siming was speaking, a pair of eyes looked at people behind the lens, and the end of the eyes would always be slightly downward, as if carved by a knife.

"But I'm very selfish. I asked a little bit before, and I didn't go any further. I think there should be enough personal space between the two of you. You can solve your family affairs by yourself."

Xi Hu squeezed out words between his teeth: "So you don't care about it this time, because you think I can't solve it?"

"No." Tan Siming shook his head, "I know you are not incapable, but just unwilling."

"is my problem."

Tan Siming paused, "Although I was satisfied with my handling of our relationship, I soon discovered that I overestimated my control."

I can't do it now, just stand outside the cover and watch you wither.

"I used to think that entanglement with each other is unnecessary. Two people can be independent and sober when they are together. But your feelings are always out of my control. I have never had such a flustered experience."

All are normal, healthy, calm, and rational, but they just don't like it enough-about this point, Xi Hu asked Tan Siming's sincerity before, and he was very sensitive and correct.

Even if they are ugly, even if they are unbearable, they will definitely be curious, caring, and want to entangle each other until they die.

"For example, today, if you want me to take care of your business, I can't do it at all."

Tan Siming sighed softly.

The sigh was weak and faint, and got into Xi Hu's ears.

Tan Siming said to Xi Hu, for some things, you don't have to think about me, you should think about yourself more.

Xi Hu replied at the time—impossible, I can't do it.

Tan Siming couldn't understand, and asked him to do it.

Xi Hu clearly remembered the original words that Tan Siming explained later: "In my opinion, it is unhealthy for you to care too much about me. It is similar to a parasite and a host. The former depends on the latter for nutrients to survive. If the normal relationship lasts longer, I am afraid it will be difficult to maintain it."

Xi Hu opened his mouth wide, and tears flowed from the corner of his mouth.

Avoiding the important point, he asked, "How did you get in?"

"You forgot to close the door."

Xi Hu: "..."

From the playground to the study, his soul was scattered, and he had long forgotten about closing the door.

Someone picked it up for him and delivered it to his door.

It turned out that when Xi Hu was on the playground, he seemed to be covered in shards of glass. Whoever got closer would stab him to blood.

Now that bit of glass shards melted into the corners of his eyes and flowed into his chest, a vast expanse of whiteness.

The angel and the devil who lived there were confronting each other, and the devil said, this man is still making his own way.

The angel cried out mournfully, "I don't blame him anymore."

There are thousands of fierce horses and thousands of tender feelings in my heart, which have been galloping on the tip of my tongue for a while, but it seems that I have lost the ability to explode.

Xi Hu couldn't utter a word.

Tan Siming spoke again, hesitating slightly, cautiously.

"I can't control myself. It's my fault to meddle in your family affairs. I don't expect your forgiveness. I have nothing to say."

It can be said that it is very rare that Tan Siming is considering his words.

It's like trying to process it all in my head, so that I can't say it so rigidly and directly, "But no matter what, I want to sit here and make sure you're okay."

"In front of me, you are always happy, always happy, and when I turn around, those carefree things will disappear. Occasionally, I see your back, worry, sadness, anxiety, everything , but you didn’t say anything to me. Jealousy, anger, greed, suspicion, vulnerability...all bad emotions, bad personality, you don’t seem to want to show me.”

Tan Siming's tone was adjusted to the softest, and his speaking speed was getting slower and slower. It was like slow motion, but it was a bit funny.

"I guessed you were worried about losing me, but I didn't quite understand it. Now I finally get it—I'm scared now, too."

"I beg you, please let me watch you."

Some people’s remorse is a common occurrence. They have to struggle frequently with three meals a day.

Tan Siming is a person who let go of his past behavior very quickly and never stays because of it.

When Xi Hu asked, Tan Siming said that everyone's actions, past, present, and future, represent a part of themselves.

There is no need to give up, there is nothing to worry about.

But now, in those voices, there is a real regret.

"Please...give me a chance to love you."

I was speechless for a long time.

Maybe it was unintentional, maybe it was intentional, Tan Siming lowered his head back and stopped looking at Xi Hu.

Xi Hu found a gap, turned his palm inward, and secretly wiped his face.

Probably because of swallowing the salty tears, his throat was a little choked.

"up to you."

***

"X month X day in X year. My child, you acted like a spoiled child to me again today.

I will take you to Professor Fang for reexamination. You clamored for me to buy toys for you, but you stopped at the entrance of the hospital canteen and refused to go upstairs. I didn’t say anything, but you just hugged my thigh and didn’t let go. Laughing at our father and son.

I agreed, you are so happy, only dad is good in the world, coaxing me to buy you the most expensive one without saying a word.

Son, who did you learn this from?Your dad wouldn't do that? "

"X month X day, X year. Child, your mother divorced me today. She gave up on you and told me that your illness cannot be cured.

Your uncle Junfeng has a bad temper and said that as a wife, she shouldn't run away when her husband and children are in the most difficult time.In short, it was an accusation that scolded her out of the door.

But I don't blame her.She is willing to accompany me to the present, and I am already very grateful. "

"X month X day in X year. Son, today your Uncle Junfeng said that my confidence in you is groundless.

I said, I just know, you will definitely be cured.I also want to set an example for you - I want to tell you that hard work will definitely pay off!

I will not give up on you, child. "

"X month X day, year X. Son, when Dad was waiting for you outside the EEG room today, he suddenly lost his footing and fell down.

The doctor said that I have been exhausting my body and I should take a good rest, but I can't stop worrying about you.

I was thinking about it outside of work during the day, and even lost my mind.I was thinking about it at night, thinking that I couldn't sleep, and finally fell asleep, and I was thinking about it in my dreams.

Occasionally feel very tired, too tired.

But I dare not relax, nor can I relax. "

The time span of these letters is a bit long, some are half a year apart, and some are more than a year apart.

For the last few letters, the date of writing was four years after the first letter.

"X month X day in X year. My child, you have been free of illness for more than half a year, and you are basically stable. Professor Fang also said that in half a year, you can try to stop the drug according to your situation.

These past few years I have been busy taking you to see a doctor. Now that you are recovering soon, and you are about to go to kindergarten, I am entrusting someone to send you to Yuanxing Kindergarten Department.

My child, of course going to the best school!

I am saving money and plan to buy a house next to Yuanxing and move there.In this way, I will pick you up after you leave school every day.

When we get home, we will sit on the balcony together, spread out a layer of newspaper, and eat your favorite steamed sea bass together. "

"X month X day, year X. Professor Fang said that the drug can be completely stopped.

I am very grateful and grateful.Thank you for your luck, and thank you most.

Dad can persevere, all because of you.

Whenever I am tired, I take a look at you, look at your eyes, look at your chubby arms, look at your running feet, everything is so cute, look at it, and I won’t be tired .

Thank you, my lovely child. "

"X month X day in X year. My child, I have always been dizzy recently. Sometimes when I sit for a long time, if I stand up suddenly, I will pass out directly.

I fainted again today, only this time, I almost didn't wake up.

Your grandma and your uncle Junfeng forced me to see a doctor. The doctor said I would not live long.

Son, Dad is sorry for you.When I think that you will have to walk alone in the future, I feel very sad. "

The writer's emotions are evident on the paper: the final letter is wrinkled, as if it has been wet many times.

"Why is it gone..." Xi Hu muttered to himself.

Xi Hu turned over the stack of papers that he had just sorted out and was about to fall down.

No matter how hard he looked, he didn't see anything else left for him.

It was as if every parting, silently, came to an abrupt end in an inadvertent moment.

Tan Siming thought more carefully than Xi Hu, he got up and walked to the safe——

"it's here."

It was an old photo, glued to the bottom of the safe, lying there quietly.

The size of the photo is a bit large, and the two people in the photo can be clearly identified: a man is squatting in front of a flower bed, holding a four or five-year-old child in his arms. Their facial features are very similar, exactly the same.

The man was as thin as a stick, and the blue and white striped hospital gown was worn on him, which made him look loose and bulky, giving off a deserted atmosphere.

But the smile on the man's face was as bright and strong as the halo of sunlight that was shone into the camera.

Tan Siming picked up the corner of the photo, gently pulled it, and handed it to Xi Hu.

After listening to Tan Siming's request to him and reading Xi Haihui's letter to him, Xi Hu has been trying his best to grasp his five senses, pretending to be deaf and dumb, trying not to get too out of control.

But the two fishes that slipped through the net from the eyes are still turbulent.

Now those shocks are almost chasing after the victory, sending out a huge roar, smashing his vulnerable line of defense.

Tan Siming stood in front of him.

Xi Hu's eyes stayed on the only photo of the father and son together, and his eyes suddenly became hot.She wanted to turn her back, but stopped short, but closed her eyes.

His eyelids just closed slightly, and the corners of his eyes burst, and the silent tears all fell down.

The author has something to say:

The set after this chapter.

Huzi: Why are you so keen on throwing blood on me...

Author: What kind of death is planned, even if it is forced, it will make you cry.

Huzi: ...

Huzi: So why?

Mingming: Because you are her own son.

Author: I still understand me clearly.

Huzi: She obviously bullied you!She actually said that you are not her own son!I feel sorry for you!Come and hug!To kiss!

Mingming: MUA.

Author: ...you two stay away from me...