born of love

Lin Feng was woken up by the pain in his arm. He sat up cleverly, and the sharp-eyed nurse beside him poured him a glass of water: "You are finally awake."

There was a momentary fragment in his mind, and he asked the nurse, "Do you know how the person I sent here with me is?"

"What's it called? What does it look like?" The little nurse was very enthusiastic, "Let me ask you."

"It's Bai Yuan, he's a paraplegic." Lin Feng blurted out.

"Ah, he," the little nurse suddenly realized, "Sent for an MRI scan, the doctor suspected it was intracranial hemorrhage..."

Before he finished speaking, Lin Feng pulled out the needle in his hand and ran out, without even thinking about it, he ran to the MRI department.

"Discharged?" He repeated the doctor's words, only to feel dizzy for a while.

"That's right!" The doctor stretched out his hand to support him, "It's dangerous, but the patient was so emotional that he refused to be hospitalized, so he had to let them go back first. Are you okay?"

After waving his hand to indicate to the doctor that he was fine, Lin Feng walked out of the hospital gate.

The cold wind was bitter, and the light rain in the evening was blowing on his face, which well concealed the tears that had flowed across his face.

He felt that he hated Bai Yuan, hated him for lying to him for six years, hated him for using illness to tie himself to him, hated him for playing with himself in applause, and didn't love himself at all.

But in the end he realized that he couldn't hate, what did he hate?Hate him for lying to himself?But he has been in a wheelchair for six years; hate him for using his illness to keep him close?But those diseases are real, and I am voluntary; I hate myself and love him to the bone, but he doesn't love himself?But if he didn't love him, when that car hit him, he wouldn't think or want to put himself in his arms.

In his memory, that person's embrace was so thin and weak, but just now it was so solid and thick, supporting all his hope of living.

The doctor said that when the ambulance arrived, the two of them were hugging each other in the passenger seat. If Bai Yuan hadn't been protecting him, he might have passed the Naihe Bridge by now.It was a miracle that both of them survived.

Lin Feng only felt that a string of fireworks exploded in his head, and he couldn't hear anything the doctor said at all.

Who said it?

Everything that seems like a miracle is just because I love you so much.

hate it?

hatred.

Hate from love.

hate it?

Don't hate anymore.

Because love is greater than hate.

The Buddha said that love is the source of suffering for all living beings. Love produces greed, love produces hatred, love produces ignorance, love produces hatred, and the combination of greed, anger, ignorance and hatred is the world where one love cannot be separated from the other.If you don't love, naturally you don't have so many entanglements.

But people in the world flock to love because love gives birth to joy. Life is full of suffering, too much parting, and too little joy alone. This rare joy is the proof that you and I have lived.

In the dark room, Lin Feng burst into tears.

But Bai Yuan was probably already discouraged at this time. He held the phone that couldn't get through and persistently dialed the phone number over and over again. Tears dripped in his trembling palms, like that person's hands that were never warm. temperature.

The yearning is so penetrating, and it is only after separation that I realize it.

Throwing himself on the sofa, he sat up suddenly when he was about to fall asleep in a daze, and the despair in his eyes was replaced by firmness in the darkness.

He said in his heart, you Bai Yuan put on my ring, you are mine.

As long as it is my person, even the ends of the earth, I will chase you back.

Come back and beg you, fall in love with me again.

In the New York University Medical Center, Bai Yuan was lying peacefully on the hospital bed. If it wasn't for the slight rise and fall of his chest, people might think that he was no longer breathing.

The neurosurgery expert seriously told Bai Yuan's mother about his condition outside the ward.

Due to the large amount of intracranial hemorrhage and complicated bleeding points, Bai Yuan's current situation is not optimistic. If the craniotomy is performed, the risk will be very high, and the postoperative sequelae will be very serious. Affected; but if conservative treatment is chosen without surgery, there may only be more bleeding points in the future, and intracranial hemorrhage will compress the life center. At most, Bai Yuan has less than two years to live.

For Bai Yuan's parents, this is really a terrible news. It seems like it was yesterday that his son was willing to let go of the past with him. Today, he told them that his son can only choose between living for two years or being severely disabled.

"My suggestion is to respect the patient's own opinion," the doctor concluded in standard American English. "Although life is given by you two, it ultimately belongs to the patient himself. He has the right to choose his own life." Way."

After the doctor finished speaking, he left. Bai Yuan's parents opened the door and entered the ward, holding his hands from left to right, with sad and complicated expressions.

Knowing a son is like a father, although Bai Yuan didn't grow up with his father since he was a child, but it is almost instinctive, Bai Yuan's father has already anticipated his son's choice.

With nothing to love in life, he must choose conservative treatment.

"Two years is enough."

Sure enough, when Bai Yuan woke up and heard the result, he smiled lightly: "That's great, I still have two years to miss the past between me and him, that's great."

The mother wanted to say something more, but Bai Yuan rolled his eyes and refused to talk.

He chose conservative treatment, and Bai Yuan didn't want to stay in the hospital. After discussing with his parents, he took him back to the manor in Queens, far away from the noisy city center, with beautiful scenery and a pleasant climate, suitable for recuperation.

Naturally, Bai Yuan didn't disagree. He began to work and rest regularly. He got up in the morning and was assisted by the nurse to eat some mild breakfast. He sat in the garden, relaxed and looked up at the blue sky, imagining infinitely in the direction where Lin Feng was in his mind, and went back to take a nap at noon. , the dream is full of bits and pieces of the two of them...

On this road of life that was gradually reaching the end, his heart finally began to calm down, and he only thought about Lin Feng wholeheartedly.

His body began to decline. On an early autumn afternoon, his other arm, which was intact, could not be placed on the handle of the wheelchair. On a winter morning, he began to lose his grip on the mouse. On an evening in the second spring, he began to Can't read the text on the book...

Time is running out, but he is exceptionally peaceful.

Bai Yuan thought in his heart, in my heart, finally only he and I are left, every bit of him and me: a smile, a sarcasm, a sigh... I can selfishly forget all others, leaving only Everything about him.For the first time, no one can bother me and him. For the first time, I don't care about anything and start to love him.

When spring passed quietly and New York came to the season of blooming flowers in midsummer, an oriental face finally ushered in the manor.

"Mr. Lin." The butler Charles stood at the gate of the manor to greet him early, with a standard smile on his face.

"Hello." Lin Feng's English trembled slightly.

It's been a long time since I saw him, and he was crazy about that person.

"You must have made a lot of determination to come here after Miss Zhang told you." Charles followed his gaze to look at his young master, and sighed quietly.

"There are always things to deal with," Lin Feng said with a bitter smile, "I'll do my best."

Bai Yuan's sudden disappearance is actually easy to guess, the two have lived together for so long that Lin Feng knows every friend of Bai Yuan's well.

As expected, Zhang Ningchen finally vomited.At that time, she and Yu Xiaotong had just obtained their marriage certificate in the Netherlands and were planning to settle down there.

"I understand A Yuan's thoughts," Zhang Ningchen said on the phone, "but I understand your thoughts better, go find him before it's too late."

The work that has already been on the right track in China does not require much effort. Lin Feng only needs to temporarily suspend writing, and then delegate the management affairs to the veterans who co-founded the studio at that time.

It took Lin Feng a lot of time to persuade his parents.

In the past, the two elders loved Bai Yuan because this child was the son of their best friend, and they pitied him for his illness at a young age, but when they suddenly learned the truth, how could they believe that such a scheming person was suitable to spend the rest of their lives with their only son?

But Lin Feng's determination was the strongest in his life. Even when he insisted on learning painting, he hesitated more than once whether he chose the right path.

This time he didn't have a second of doubt.

It is said that sincerity is as good as gold and stone, and parents can only wish for the safety and happiness of their children and grandchildren. Who really wants to fight against whom?

"Go," Duan Yayun choked up as she helped Lin Feng pack his luggage that day, "Before he forgets you."

"His condition is not very good," Charles said about Bai Yuan's recent situation. "Recently, his eyesight has deteriorated severely, and he can't see clearly. The doctor strongly recommends bed rest and preparation for surgery at any time, but he..."

Lin Feng understood Bai Yuan's stubbornness very well, he took a deep breath to ease the pain in his heart: "Can I go and see him?"

"Of course." Charles motioned to him sideways.

The manor is not small, but the road leading to his lover is very close. In less than a minute, Lin Feng was already standing in front of Bai Yuan.

Bai Yuan couldn't see his face clearly, and even his clothes could only vaguely see some shadows, but his heart beat instinctively.

"Xiaoyuan..." Lin Feng knelt down and said softly.

Bai Yuan was obviously taken aback, and instinctively shrank back a bit.

"Xiaoyuan," Lin Feng resisted the desire to cry, and held that pale and thin hand, "I'm here..."

The breeze blew in, the voice lingered in his ears after a year's absence, and Bai Yuan burst into tears, but said: "You shouldn't have come..."

"I said that no matter what happens, I will never leave. Are you asking me to break my promise?" Lin Feng's eyes turned red.

"It's not you who want to leave," Bai Yuan's voice was hoarse, "It's me who wants to leave, this doesn't count as your breaking the promise."

Lin Feng didn't buy his account at all: "But you promised to stay with me for the rest of your life."

Obviously his vision was already blurred, but Bai Yuan could still see Lin Feng's tears streaming down his face.

"You lied to me for six years, and now you still lie to me?" Lin Feng asked just like that, he would not tell the truth, so he simply said, "I met your mother yesterday, I know everything gone."

For a moment, Bai Yuan felt a splitting headache and closed his eyes. He remembered that he told his mother not to tell anyone about his condition, but he didn't think Lin Feng could get the real answer: "What do you know?"

"I know you love me, and you are afraid of dragging me down." Lin Feng's half-squatting posture was extremely awkward, and he simply knelt down on one knee, caressing his face, "But I also know that loving someone takes time to prove, no matter how you Talking about being good for me is not worth growing old with me, watching the vicissitudes of life together, changing from newcomers to old friends together.

Xiaoyuan, don't leave me, okay? "

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There is a quote in the middle from "Startling Every Step"