not regret

Chapter 41

Shen Juan raised his head and clenched his hands tightly, "I only have one request, please treat him well, he is a very sensitive person, don't make him sad."

Pan Wenqing raised his eyebrows, and said in a contemptuous tone, "What position do you have to make a request now? If you don't say it, I will treat him well, and I must be better than you." In the last sentence, Pan Wenqing strengthened his tone, and the five The words seemed to be squeezed out of the teeth.

"Thank you," Shen Judgment said.

When I came out of the teahouse, the afterglow of the setting sun sprinkled on the ground, without its usual warmth, but cold and ruthless, without any warmth, Shen Pan was like a piece of wood floating on the sea, heaving and falling aimlessly, not knowing where to go What, what should I do, the last thing is done, I should go away with peace of mind, but why am I still so unwilling, so reluctant.

He really couldn't bear to part with Shui Yifan, took out his phone from his pocket, looked at the people in the photo album, "I'm sorry, I can't accompany you on the rest of the way."

Shui Yifan had a drowsy dream about the time when he and Shen Pan went to the Internet cafe to play games all night when he was a child. Shen Pan was stupid at that time, and Shui Yifan was so sleepy in the middle of the night that he fell asleep while sitting with his head on his shoulder. Shen Pan kept that movement, half of his body was numb and didn't dare to move until Shui Yifan woke up.

Shui Yifan opened his eyes, as if his eyes were covered with a film, he couldn't see anything clearly, he stretched out his hand and rubbed his eyes, there was a person sitting by the bed, it was already dark, Shui Yifan, who was slightly nearsighted, seemed to see Shen Judgment, "Brother Juan? Is that you?" He pinched his brows suspiciously, the person beside the bed turned his head when he heard the movement, and Shui Yifan saw that it was Pan Wenqing, and his tone changed instantly, "Why did you come in? of?"

Pan Wenqing moved to Shui Yifan's side, reached out and touched his forehead, and said, "I asked someone from the lock company to open the lock."

Shui Yifan blocked the hand on his forehead, "You are breaking the law, do you know? I called the police, you should leave immediately."

"Let me take care of you in the future, okay?" Pan Wenqing asked Shui Yifan in an almost begging tone.

Getting out of bed impatiently, Shui Yifan wanted to pour a glass of water to drink, "Please go away, is that okay?"

Pan Wenqing held Shui Yifan's hand, just woke up, his hand was still warm, not the usual cold one, "Xiaofan, I will treat you well, trust me."

Leaving Pan Wenqing's hand aside, Shui Yifan felt how this person would keep pestering him so shamelessly, sighed, sat on the bed, looked at Pan Wenqing, and put away his thorns, "Pan Wenqing, I'm not worth it!" , you are worthy of a better person, but that person is not me, my heart is dead, here," Shui Yifan pointed to the position of his heart, "it's dead, do you understand? Put in the second person, so please don't pester me anymore, let me fend for myself, how many times do you want me to say it? I won't like you, let alone love you, don't waste it on me It's time."

Shui Yifan's words were like a sharp knife, piercing Pan Wenqing's heart word by word. The pained Pan Wenqing didn't know what to do, so he opened his mouth, and sadness flowed out of his eyes slowly. But Shui Yifan turned a blind eye, "Xiaofan, you don't have to like me, it's fine if I'm by your side, let me take care of you, okay? You see, you really can't do it alone, what will you do if I don't come in today Woolen cloth?"

When Shui Yifan was not like a hedgehog, he was a very soft and cute person, not so sharp, giving people a feeling of spring breeze. When he talked to Pan Wenqing well, Pan Wenqing felt that nothing was important. It is enough to guard him, as long as he can see him every day.

"It's up to you." Shui Yifan saw that this person would not listen to anything, and he didn't bother to argue with him.

In the evening, Pan Wenqing cooked some millet porridge lamely, and wanted to feed Shui Yifan some porridge. Shui Yifan sat on the bed in a daze. When Pan Wenqing brought the millet porridge to Shui Yifan, Shui Yifan reached out and knocked it over. Half of the porridge just poured out spilled on Pan Wenqing's pants. Pan Wenqing endured the pain and grabbed Shui Yifan's hand, "It's not hot, is it?"

"Roll" Shui Yifan withdrew his hand, closed his eyes and said.

Pan Wenqing grabbed the paper towel to clean up the spilled porridge on the floor, "I'll get you another bowl, you want to eat some."

"Get out, I don't want to see you." Shui Yifan said.

After tidying up, Pan Wenqing went to the bathroom with a tissue, took off his trousers and looked at his burned thigh, it was red, he twisted a cold towel, applied it for a while, then went to the kitchen to serve a bowl of porridge, When he entered the bedroom, Shui Yifan had already laid down and closed his eyes.

Putting the porridge on the bedside table, Pan Wenqing looked at Shui Yifan's sleeping face, tucked the corner of the quilt for Shui Yifan, and said in a breathy voice, "Xiaofan, you will accept me slowly, I really I really love you very much..."

Shui Yifan didn't fall asleep, and he heard Pan Wenqing's words. Although there was no sound, but in such a quiet room, the sound of a needle falling could certainly not escape Shui Yifan's ears.

To Shui Yifan, these words went in his left ear and out in his right ear, just listen to it, and don't take it to heart.Shui Yifan didn't move, he was waiting for Pan Wenqing to leave, he didn't have any mood to face Pan Wenqing's feelings now, just like what he and Pan Wenqing said, his heart was dead, and he wouldn't pretend to be another person , his heart was full of Shen Pan, when Shen Pan said "Xiao Shui, let's forget it", he was already dead, there was no place to bury him, and his bones were crushed to pieces. Nothing left.

Hearing the sound of closing the door, Shui Yifan finally couldn't help crying out in the quilt. He didn't want Pan Wenqing to see his fragility, so after Pan Wenqing left, Shui Yifan's shell finally shattered, revealing For the past few nights, Shui Yifan has been living by his memories, thinking about how stupid Shen Pan was when he was a child, thinking about how he eloped with him, thinking about making soup for himself, thinking about him and saying, "Xiao Shui, in the future, I will definitely give you a home." Now that the home is still there, and the people are gone, what is the use of having a home?Shui Yifan was crying and panting under the quilt, but he didn't want to get out of the quilt. He just wanted to stay like that, not wanting to move, and Shen Pan left, taking away his most basic spirit. The quilt wrapped himself into a chrysalis, he imagined that Shen Pan was holding him, he imagined that he was in Shen Pan's arms, so that the infinite sense of loneliness would not spread from the soles of his feet.

In a daze, Shui Yifan just fell asleep like that. The thing he looks forward to most every day is to sleep. When he falls asleep, he can see Shen Pan in his dream. He really wants to ask Shen Pan what is all this? Why, but the little bit of self-esteem prevented him from opening his mouth. Since no one wanted him anymore, why bother him?Giving the other party and himself the last bit of dignity is the last thing he can do for Judgment Shen. If Judgment Shen thinks it would be right to leave him, and Shui Yifan is willing to let go, he can only wish Judgment Shen happiness, must be happy, Only then was he worthy of letting go and not being entangled anymore, the loneliness and longing in the middle of the night corroded Shui Yifan little by little, and began to gnaw on the bones after eating the flesh and blood, and Shui Yifan was dripping with blood like this, and he could never recover.