Elsewhere "One Year" SK

S: "Sadness: Do you feel sad or sad all the time?"

K: "No. (Why am I sad when I don't have a heart?)"

S: "Discouraged: Do you feel that your prospects are bleak?"

K: "No."

S looked up at K, with an inexplicably sad look on his face.

"Uh... well, if I must say it," K hesitated, "I just think that there is nothing to think about, and everything is fine. Well, the word vague sounds very emotional, doesn't it? Yes What's the matter?"

S bowed his head, and carefully ticked off the words "almost non-stop" with a pen.

Then he raised his head and asked lightly: "I really never feel sad or sad? Why don't you feel it?"

K's eyes flashed.

S said patiently: "If you must not go to the doctor, at least let me know a little bit. If you really value me."

K pursed his lips: "Okay."

I licked my lips, bit my lips, and finally looked at the paper specially printed by S on the table and said, "Well, I don't feel it. One day, I suddenly don't feel sad or sad. ——But reading books, watching TV, listening to I will also be sad when I get to the story!"

S ticked off the words "almost non-stop" again.

K protested with an "Ah", "Brother, you made the wrong choice, you didn't!"

S nodded silently, sighed, and read the next one directly.

"Low Self-Esteem: Do You Feel Worthless or a Loser?"

K seemed to want to laugh: "How is it possible? Hey~ me?"

S looks at him.

K stroked his hair uncomfortably, "Brother, can you stop looking at me like this?"

"How?" S asked back.

"It seems that something is wrong with me..."

"You don't want me to be like this, so you should answer it seriously." S was still calm, but he spoke unceremoniously: "Or you can't tell the truth to the me in your fantasy?! The truth I want to hear? Yes Look at me, what are you playing?"

Faint anger emanated from between the teeth: "You can wait until you see your brother S, and act to him!" Act to me!play! S really wanted to stand up and grab his collar, really wanted to beat him up!He lowered his head, hiding the anger he was about to show.

K sat quietly for a while, smiled self-deprecatingly, and said a little weakly: "Okay. Don't be angry. You are also angry with me, and I will really be sad... Well, I don't think I lack self-esteem! There's no value or failure. I just, just don't think there's...no point. There's no value in a lot of things."

"However," he showed a slight smile on his face, "the things he has done during this period are valuable. Well," K nodded again to confirm, "at least this drama is valuable. Also, knowing Senior you."

He looked at S and smiled gently: "This is very valuable. Perhaps it is the most valuable time in my life."

S looked at him, blinked his eyes vigorously to prevent the tears from welling up in his eyes, but the sockets of his eyes were still instantly red.

He choked up: "Next. Inferiority: Do you feel powerless or feel inferior to others?"

K didn't hesitate: "No. I don't care about others. If I don't do well, it's only my own business. If I'm sorry, I'm only sorry for myself."

S ticked "None".

"Guilt: Do you blame yourself for everything?"

K: "No. ——If things have already happened, it's not anyone's fault to come to this point. I walked the road myself. If there is anything, I can only be sorry."

S could see clearly, a ray of anger quickly flashed across K's face, and he seemed to be trying to pretend not to care.

He shielded the paper with his arm so that K would not see his tick.

"Hesitation: Are you hesitant to make a decision?"

K answered this question very easily: "Occasionally~ I'm a Libra~ I have to hesitate for a long time about everything."

S nodded, K always wanted to try everything.

"Agitation: Have you been feeling angry and resentful during this time?"

"No, I'm very satisfied with my life recently." K looked at S with a puzzled face, "What kind of crazy question is this~ Uh, of course I'm a little irritable if I don't get enough sleep. That's all."

S only said: "Loss of interest in life: Have you lost interest in your career, family, hobbies, or friends?"

K: "No. Not yet."

S: "What about before?"

K: "...I don't think it's interesting."

S ticked: "Lose Motivation: Do you feel overwhelmed and have no motivation to do things?" He felt that he didn't need to listen to K's answer.

K: "Sometimes."

S: "Poor self-image: Do you think you're aging or losing your charm?"

K: "...No."

S saw his eyes twinkling: "I want to hear it."

K shook his body from side to side before saying, "I'm not pitiful. K, K won't have these problems."

"What about you?"

K took a breath slowly: "Uh, I just feel that everything in my life has passed. Time is like a long river. It has already flowed in front of me in my life. I didn't realize anything before. I realize that before I really know who I am, what I want, and who I really love, it’s all over. Everything is over. Whether it’s sadness, bewilderment, love or hate. It’s all over. .No looking back."

At this moment, K really looks like a man who is not old but has experienced vicissitudes of life, sitting alone outside of time.

Flashes flashed before S's eyes, and K often stared at the back of the dazed figure outside the window.

S: "...Appetite changes: Do you feel loss of appetite or can't help overeating? No need for this one, let's go to the next one."

(almost non-stop)

S: "Sleep changes: Do you suffer from insomnia or feel exhausted and lethargic throughout the day? - Not this one, next one."

(almost non-stop)

S: "Lost sexual...desire." S swallowed, "Have you lost interest in...sex?"

K opened his eyes wide, and S did not meet his gaze: "Answer."

"Huh—! Well, no! Uh, once in a while? Uh—ah hey! I'm exhausted during this time, okay? And I don't even have a girl around me. Do I have to face you every day, uh, Facing your... your body, □□?! Do I want to die?!" K knocked on the table in dissatisfaction.

S asked softly: "Then did you post?"

K licked his lips angrily, took a deep breath, and finally said: "Yes! Why! He teased me so much! He touched me like that! I'm not dead!"

S nodded, licked his lips, and swallowed: "Oh~ you endured well."

"Tch, you're the one who didn't feel it~!" K gave him a blank stare in displeasure, turning his head and refusing to look at him again.

S glanced at him, but didn't answer.

S: "Hypochondria: Do you often worry about your health?"

K decisively: "Worry! I can't sleep well, and I am also very distressed!"

S shook his head: "Suicidal impulse: Do you think that life is worthless or that life is better than death?"

K: "No. ——Look what, no."

"Then what happened to disappear?"

"—That's not trying to commit suicide! I just think," K suddenly closed his mouth, refusing to continue.

But it doesn't matter, it's the last question.

S took out his phone to check the result.

Scarlet letter: "Dear friend: Hello!

After the above [-] tests, you already have severe depressive symptoms, and you have reached the point of breaking down all the time. I suggest you go to a psychiatrist immediately to see a doctor, listen to the doctor’s analysis of your soul, and see what aspects There are still flaws, listen carefully to the doctor's advice, follow the doctor's prescription for treatment, write your own flaws on paper, stick them on the visible place, and correct them one by one. You feel painful, but it is very necessary, otherwise the consequences can be imagined!

I wish you a speedy recovery! "

He took a long breath and said calmly to K: "You have to see a doctor. You are severely depressed now."

K leaned on the back of the chair and stretched, and said nonchalantly, "Where is my phone? I'm playing games for a while, and I don't have time to play after the shooting starts tomorrow."

S grabbed his wrist firmly, not letting him go.

K glanced at his grasped hand, and simply squatted down in front of S: "Okay, it's nothing. You made a mistake in the test questions! Anyway, what I should test is schizophrenia now! OK? But, you really Do you want me to go to a mental hospital? Don't look at me like this, you will make me sad if you are fake, good boy. "

"You heard me say that depression is about being in a bad mood every day! I don't, you know? I just can't sleep! I'm not really sad at all. I don't feel anything, understand? I just woke up one morning and suddenly I feel that everything is unimportant, and it doesn’t matter anymore! My heart suddenly disappeared—ah, no, I didn’t have it in the first place, I just admitted this fact. You have to accept it, okay? People don’t feel depressed when they lose their heart of!"

"Also, don't take it seriously! I'm just hypocritical! Understand? I'm not in pain, I don't want to cry, and I'm not sad! Well, that's it! You see, I should eat and sleep , It’s time to play, I can laugh when I’m happy, and I’ll be sad when I’m sad, that’s enough! Don’t be too greedy, ask for so much!”

"I'm happy enough now. Is it okay to be like this? It's just that my attitude towards life is not correct, but the requirements should be so strict! I promise I won't commit suicide! Okay?"

"...How do you guarantee it?"

"You have been following me, don't you know if what I said is true or not?"

"What if I don't follow?"

"Crash... Why should I promise to a hallucination—no, is it because I am protecting myself?" K was impatient and puzzled, "Well, so, in any case, if I have that kind of action , similar actions, I have, uh—but I really haven't thought about it!"

S doesn't believe him.

K finally thought of it: "Uh, before, a long time ago, I thought about what I should do if I want to...."