[Water Margin] Ximen is a fake official

Sun Erniang used a series of tricks to seduce Ximen Qingqing, coaxing her to drink more bowls of wine.

At the beginning, Ximen Qingqing had to coax Erniang Sun to lose her mind, and then let the tentacles on top of her head, PHS, help her deal with the mixed wine, but later she found that Erniang Sun couldn't see the tentacles hanging from her head at all, so she became unscrupulous .

Ximen Qingqing flicked his long sleeves to cover the wine bowl, and let the tentacles absorb all the wine inside.

Sun Erniang stared at her for a while, with anxious eyes.

Ximen Qingqing said in his heart: It's time.

She pressed her forehead, blinked her eyes twice, and said loudly: "Hey, why do I feel dizzy? It's so uncomfortable."

Sun Erniang's eyes lit up immediately, "Is it because the officials can't drink enough? Hey, I'll make some hangover soup for the officials."

Ximen Qingqing shook his head twice pretending to be confused, then shook his head again, "Is there something wrong with your wine?"

Sun Erniang smiled coquettishly, "The officials are joking, this wine..."

At this moment, several big men on other tables fell on the table in twos and threes "bang bang bang".

Sun Erniang lifted her lips triumphantly: "...Isn't it the old lady's footwashing water! How about it, delicate little official, it's delicious!"

As she spoke, she grabbed Ximen Qingqing's tender cheeks with her fingers.

Ximen Qingqing couldn't have a seizure, so he could only pretend to be dizzy, collapsed on the table, and looked at him in a daze.

Erniang Sun: "Tsk tsk, what a poor little girl, if you want to blame you, blame you for being Ximen Qing, if you want to hate, then hate why you escorted the birthday card, let's go down this road of death."

It turned out that the two of them came here for her and this birthday card.

"You...you...you..." Ximen Qingqing's voice became smaller and smaller, and he slowly closed his eyes.

At this moment, she suddenly felt a pain in her head, even if she closed her eyes, she could still see everything in the store.

This is helped by that thing on top of her head.

Zhang Qing hurriedly got out from the kitchen, "Is it all down?"

Erniang Sun snorted and clapped her hands, "I've never missed a sweat pill before, not to mention I went out in person and urinated on this little official."

Zhang Qing grinned: "Er Niang is still the best."

Sun Erniang shot him a look, "Don't talk nonsense, quickly move these people into the kitchen and take care of them."

Ximen Qingqing felt a chill in his heart.

What scalpers, they kill people!

Zhang Qing: "There are too many people here, the two of us can't do it at all. Hey, if I'm not afraid of revealing my secrets, I should call those helpers too."

Sun Erniang helped Ximen Qingqing to stand up, and snorted, "Do you really think he didn't notice? This Ximen Qing is very smart, if he wasn't fascinated by his beauty, he wouldn't drink these wines."

Ximen Qingqing: "..."

Thank you for being so eloquent, I can show you my charm as high as 90, will I be fascinated by beauty?snort!

Zhang Qing smiled, without arguing with his wife, "Let's do it quickly, they will wake up after a while."

Zhang Qing looked at Lin Chong, Shi Jin and Yang Zhi, "In my opinion, these three ideas are the most difficult, so let's deal with them first."

Erniang Sun: "Hey, I must cook this little official first, look at his flesh, I can pinch it even a little bit to leave marks, the meat must be extremely tender and delicious."

Zhang Qing smiled honestly, "Succeed, I'll listen to you, then let's bloodlet Ximen Qing first."

Ximen Qingqing felt as if a big hole had been opened in his heart, and air-conditioning was pouring into it for no reason.

The dialogue between these two executioners is so commonplace, as if slaughtering people, skinning them and bleeding them is a very common thing, and it is this kind of normality that makes people creepy and shuddering.

Even a murderer can't describe the madness of the two of them.

Sun Erniang laughed and said, "You have to peel off this skin properly, without any damage. I've never seen such a good skin."

Zhang Qing: "You can rest assured."

Sun Erniang blamed: "After talking so much, don't hurry up and help me carry people together."

Zhang Qing left behind the big men who had fainted on the table, ran over, carried Ximen Qingqing on his shoulders, and walked towards the kitchen.

Sun Erniang ran into the kitchen to sharpen the knife first.

Ximen Qingqing swayed on his shoulders. When passing by Yang Zhi, he saw him stand up suddenly, and drew a knife to slash Zhang Qing.

Ximen Qingqing waved his hand at him and made a look of "Be safe and don't be impatient".

She still needs to figure out some things and see if the two of them will say something happily.

Yang Zhi frowned, as if he disagreed.

At this time, Zhang Qing seemed to have noticed something, and suddenly stopped.

Yang Zhi immediately sat back to his original position and lay down.

Zhang Qing turned around instantly, but found nothing.

Shi Jin, who was sitting across the aisle from Yang Zhi, raised his stick.

Ximen Qingqing immediately opened his eyes and stared back at him fiercely.

Shi Jin's mouth moved, but he fell down silently, cooperating with her actions.

Zhang Qing looked around suspiciously, then raised his voice and said to Sun Erniang in the kitchen: "It's really strange, why do I always feel that someone is watching me?"

Sun Erniang scolded him: "You are dreaming! Don't do anything wrong, don't be afraid of ghosts knocking on the door, you are afraid of shit!"

Zhang Qing smiled "hehe", "Yes."

Ximen Qingqing; "..."

You guys really have the guts to say that it is not a bad thing for you to kill people together.It's not a bad thing to wrap human flesh into buns after killing people. Are you still human? !

Zhang Qing carried Ximen Qingqing into the kitchen, and said to Sun Erniang: "This official is really light, not like a man."

Ximen Qingqing took a quick look at the kitchen.

The kitchen was darkly lit, filled with a soaring stench, and there were a few hooks hanging from the roof, with meat on the hooks, and the shape of the meat was a bit strange.

Ximen Qingqing looked carefully, and only then did he see clearly what was hooked on the hook.

A naked and pale human leg was hung on one hook, and the sole of the human foot was nailed to it through the hook; on the other hook was the lower body of the human body, with a thick hook passing through the crotch, hanging the two human legs in mid-air.

Ximen Qingqing's stomach tightened for a while, and he almost vomited out on the spot.

She looked at other places in the house, and saw that there were some rags under the stove, which were used for burning fire, and a large bucket beside the stove was full of various rotten human heads, and there were flies buzzing around on it. go.

There are two large basins on the stove, which are filled with clotted black and red blood, which is human blood.

This is the hell on earth!

Ximen Qingqing gritted his teeth tightly.

If I, Ximen Qingqing, don't send you to the guillotine today, I will die to apologize to these innocent souls!

Zhang Qing pressed Ximen Qingqing on a bench, and while preparing tools, chatted with Sun Erniang.

Zhang Qing: "Is this Ximen Qing really as bad as they say? Didn't we meet Wu Erlang before, and he didn't say anything bad about Ximen Qing."

Sun Erniang stared: "What? You still like this little boy?"

Zhang Qing smiled, "Look at you, you're superstitious. I'm not that kind of person. I'm just curious."

Erniang Sun: "It doesn't matter what kind of person he is, what kind of a good person can he be when he transports the birthday plan? Let me tell you that too many people participated in the robbery of the birthday plan last time. We have been working for several years, and this time we have won all the birthdays, so we don't have to work so hard."

Zhang Qing: "Haha, then I can find a few more disciples, so I don't have to do it myself."

Ximen Qingqing sneered in his heart.

OK, I heard what I wanted to hear and can deal with you guys.

Zhang Qing sharpened his knife and came to Ximen Qingqing, ready to bleed.

Ximen Qingqing was also about to let the monster squatting on his head attack with its tentacles.

Zhang Qing raised the knife high, stepped on the ground with one foot, and stepped on the bench with the other, exerting force on his wrist, just about to drop the knife.

In the blink of an eye, a long copper chain suddenly rolled up from behind the curtain, entangled Zhang Qing's knife with a "crash".

The copper chain stretched straight, and with a sudden jerk, the knife in Zhang Qing's hand was directly thrown out.

Zhang Qing turned pale with shock, and said angrily, "Who is it!"

He rushed quickly to the stove and drew another knife.

Sun Erniang also took two knives in her hands, "Don't hide your head and show your tail, get out of here!"

Ximen Qingqing was also curious about who came suddenly and rescued her.

Using copper chains as weapons is not one of her team.

The curtain of the kitchen was lifted, and a man with a long copper chain came in.

He was short of breath, his eyes were wide open, and he seemed to be in a hurry to stop him.

"No, don't harm her!" He angrily reprimanded.

Sun Erniang looked this person up and down, and saw that this person was unusual.

He was obviously a handsome scholar with no strength to restrain a chicken, but he was able to move two such thick copper chains, and even dragged the knife in Zhang Qing's hand away.

Zhang Qing was also very wink, he cupped his hands and said: "I don't know the name of the hero?"

He took a step forward, stood in front of Ximen Qingqing, and said in a deep voice, "Wu Yong."

Sun Erniang rolled her eyes, "My good brother recognizes this little official, so you want to save him?"

Before Wu Yong could speak, the door curtain was jumped up again.

Ruan Xiaoqi leaned on the door frame carelessly and whistled, "Professor, hurry up, we have to transport the birthday outline away."

Sun Erniang's complexion changed, "Okay, so you are also the ones who robbed birthdays, but the rules of the Tao... There must be a first come first, right? Obviously we are the first, so you are not going to be black and black?"

Zhang Qing's face was livid: "The birthday outline is obtained by our ability, and if you want to take it, it depends on whether we give it or not."

Sun Erniang: "You don't even need to ask who we are!"

Ruan Xiaoqi smiled, "Hey, what a big tone, I've heard about you, vegetable gardener Zhang Qing and hag Sun Erniang, right? Since you are not convinced, then we will beat you until you are convinced!"

Ruan Xiaoqi yelled out the door: "Come on, brothers, you're copying guys!"

Ximen Qingqing: "..."

What happened?Are you fighting black and white?

After a while, Ruan Xiaoer and Ruan Xiaowu rushed in with weapons.

Sun Erniang frowned and sneered: "Why do you think we are afraid because there are so many of you?"

Zhang Qing counted the heads, "Who are you?"

Ruan Xiaoqi touched his lower lip and sneered, "Live Yan Luo Ruan Xiaoqi."

Ruan Xiaowu glanced at Ximen Qingqing with a smile, "Short-lived Erlang Ruan Xiaowu."

Ruan Xiaoer frowned, "Ruan Xiaoer is too old now."

Zhang Qing's attitude suddenly became better, "The three Ruan brothers, haha, forgive me for being blind, I didn't see it, cough, since we all have the same goal, don't conflict, so, you leave these people to me to make steamed bun stuffing , how about only [-]% of my birthday outline?"

Sun Erniang sighed, rubbed her temples, and said flirtatiously: "Yes, at least it's our effort and the medicine we used. You have to leave some for us, otherwise how can you mess around in the road in the future?"

Ruan Xiaoer said irritably, "Same purpose? Fuck your mother! This Ximen Qing is my savior, who told you to kill him? And make stuffing for steamed buns, see if I don't chop you up first."

As soon as he finished speaking, Zhang Qing and Sun Erniang acted first with a heart in mind, slashing at the nearest Wu Yong, and then took the opportunity to escape through the back door, but unexpectedly an ancient bronze sword with pine patterns appeared at the back door, and shot the two of them. Slapped it all in the face.

There was a lot of "ding, ding, bang, bang" in the kitchen, but there was no one standing in the front lobby.

These big men pretending to be dizzy anxiously wanted to take a look, but they were afraid that they would ruin the plans of the officials.

Shi Jin gritted his teeth and wanted to get up anxiously, but was pushed down by Lin Chong beside him.

Lin Chong whispered: "Don't move."

Shi Jin resisted, "I can't wait, officer, it's dangerous."

He wanted to go again, but was held down by Lin Chong again.

Lin Chong said solemnly: "It's okay, just wait."

Yang Zhi got up, "No, I'm going to have a look."

Lin Chong: "Sit down!"

Yang Zhi looked at Lin Chong, and Lin Chong looked at him, as if he could see something in Yang Zhi's eyes for a long time.

Lin Chong said helplessly: "Come back, it may not be the officials who have something to do, I'm afraid it's them."

"You guys, you know too little about officials."

The author has something to say: VIP Observation Deck · Ximen Qingqing · Bench: ...Lin Chong, I think you have misunderstood me.

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Today I recommend my Journey to the West colleague "[Journey to the West] The Poor Monk Is a Fake Monk". Tang Sanzang turned into an incomprehensible female Tang monk and went to the West to learn Buddhist scriptures. Su Shuangwen is also the first in Su's famous series. One article, the biggest feature of this article is that it is my first attempt to combine the funny writing method of sand sculptures with Su Wen, because I can't see ugliness, so I have beautified countless times the apprentices or monsters in "Journey to the West".There are many beautiful men with different styles, and the plot is also interesting. If you are interested, go and have a look~