Fall in love with special forces

Chinese New Year is a joyous and festive day.But that’s compared to others. For me, at least this year, I’m lying alone on the bed, not wanting to move, or even living!

The thought is terrible!However, if one day when other people celebrate the New Year with joy, and you are the only one who is alone with no company or even caring about you, you might have the same idea as me.

But I still insist on keeping myself alive, because I am still waiting for Guan Shijie to give me an answer.

Fortunately, before I withered to death, Guan Shijie's call finally came.

It was already the fifth day of the lunar new year, and I just got up from the bed and took a sip of water. I really had no strength in my body, so I just lay down on the sofa again.The phone rang suddenly, I touched the phone and saw that the caller ID was Guan Shijie's phone number, my heart skipped a beat, but I didn't know if it was him, so I still lay on the sofa, just pressed pressed the answer button, but did not make a sound, until he called over there: "Honey, it's me!"

I burst into tears!

"Ajie, do you know why I came here these days? Your mother said that you were locked up by your father, and I was worried about you and missed you!"

"My wife, I'm sorry!" He also cried over there, "I said... I wanted to spend the New Year with you, but I didn't do what I said! But... I really want to go back, so I begged my dad to let me go back , but he firmly refused! I have no choice, these days...I have been on a hunger strike, and I don't believe that he is really willing to starve me to death! But...my mother also went on a hunger strike with me. I am in good health and have not eaten for a few days It's okay, my mother is now... lying in bed and can't get up! So... Wife, I'm sorry, I can only follow them first, and I will beg them slowly when my mother recovers! You wait for me for a while, I love you, I miss you every day these days, I just want to be with you in this life!"

I was crying, my heart was full of confusion!He once said: "If there is too much trouble, it will have a very bad influence on them, so they will follow me in the end!" He also said: "My parents can't force me to death, so as long as I Persevere, they will have nothing to do with me!"

What he said is indeed reasonable, even Chu Wenjun, who is familiar with his family background, thinks so!This is also the main reason why he confidently assured me and went home to face his parents.

However, what he didn't expect was that his mother would use her own life to bet on his!It's true that his parents couldn't force him to death, but in turn, he couldn't force his mother to death either!

"Ajie, I love you too! But, how long do I have to wait? Without you... Every minute and every second is so hard, I'm afraid I won't be able to wait any longer!"

This kind of thing shouldn't be said at this time, because he is already troubled and helpless enough.However, I am also very helpless, if I don't tell him, I have no one else to tell.

"I know, I know! It's my fault, it's me who made you fall so deep, I thought... With my parents' love for me, they would definitely follow me in the end, but I didn't expect that this time They will be so ruthless! My dad even said that if my mother had a bad day, not only would he not let me go, he wouldn't even let your family... "

"Ah?" I was so frightened that I even forgot to cry, "Is your father... so powerful?"

"He has! You don't know...how big an official he is, and he can let people investigate the details of your family for several lifetimes with just a word!"

I was stunned for a while, I am not afraid of his father's threats, but I can't ignore my parents!I am already unfilial enough, if someone investigates our family because of me, even if my parents have never made any mistakes, even if my grandparents have never made any mistakes, but just such an investigation, my parents will also be branded A stain that can never be washed away in a lifetime.And my son, even if he dies [-] times, he will not be able to atone for my sins!

"If this is the case, Ajie, just follow your parents' wishes, after all...they are your parents!" After a long time, I uttered a sentence, feeling my heart suddenly calm down, "Don't worry Me, anyway...you also like women, or...you can marry Chu Wenjun, you also like Chu Wenjun, right? If you marry her, your parents will be happy, and you don't have to bear the pressure of homosexuality anymore !"

"But... my wife, what do you do?"

what should I do?I wish I knew.

"I'm fine!" I seemed to have nothing to do, "You know what, Ajie? If I could like women like you, I would definitely obey my parents' wishes and marry a woman, because …Thinking about my parents raising such an unfilial son like me, I feel as uncomfortable as a needle prick! I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable too, so, I’m telling the truth, I don’t blame you at all, you work hard for me It's over, that's enough!"

"But my wife, I can't bear you!" He choked up again, "And, can you bear me?"

"I can't bear it, but I can't help it!" Hearing his choking, I finally couldn't help crying again, "Maybe decades later, the world will be able to fully accept homosexuality, but now...who let We were born in the wrong era!"

"But wife, I love you! Maybe you are right, my parents raised me so much, I should be filial to them, but they can't force me to do what they need just because they raised me! So , I will continue to fight with my parents, I love you, I just want to be with you in this life!"

I believe that he loves me, these few days I am frightened, anxious and confused, I even begin to doubt how long his love for me can last!But today, at this moment, from his choked tone and vague persistence, I once again felt his deep love for me, and once again confirmed that he really wants to live with me for the rest of his life!

I also want to spend my whole life with him, but——

"How do you fight, you go on a hunger strike, and your mother also goes on a hunger strike. As you said, your health is good, and it doesn't matter if you struggle a few times, but your mother is so old. In case...she has something good or bad, let's Not to mention whether your father will let us go, even if you can still be with me, will you feel at ease and comfortable by then?"

He didn't say a word for a while, I only heard low sobs over there, and I also shed tears and didn't speak. After a long time, he opened his mouth again.

"But wife, what would you do? What would you do without me?"

"I'm fine! We've been talking for a long time, go and stay with your mother! Don't... really make your mother feel bad, your father will find fault with my parents, and I won't even be able to atone for the sin by death Already!"

He didn't say anything for a long time again, until I urged him: "Ajie, are you still there?"

He replied: "I'm here! Wife, I love you! But... you are right, if my mother has something bad or bad, I will not be able to feel at ease in this life! So I will listen to you first, and wait for my mother to recover Now, I will tell them slowly, I still want to be with you, as long as there is a glimmer of hope, I will not give up!"

He hung up the phone!I suddenly felt powerless and collapsed on the sofa, unable to even move.

He said that as long as there is a glimmer of hope, he will not give up, but can there be that glimmer of hope?

I'm afraid it's very difficult, since his father has already said that, it is tantamount to a death sentence for my love with him!

Because of me, I can't ignore my parents. Even if Guan Shijie always wants to be with me, I dare not be with him anymore.

I picked up the phone again, and I don't know how many times it was during the New Year, and I called my sister.

Fortunately, this time, my sister answered the phone.

"Why do you keep calling me? Either go home and get married, or don't bother me anymore! Parents have aged ten years because of you, and your son is not guilty!"

She hung up the phone and I didn't even have a chance to say a word.

Am I guilty?

Yes, I am very guilty, my son is so unfilial, making my parents aged ten years!Even, I may implicate them and be investigated by others!

But, can I go back and get married?

I can't, even if I die, I can't!

I got up and found a board on the bedside table. Because I thought about Guan Shijie and thought about insomnia years ago, I had to go to the hospital to ask for sleeping pills prescribed by the doctor.My heart is very peaceful, I don't have any so-called suicidal thoughts, I just want to fall asleep and never wake up.

But there are only [-] sleeping pills on a board, and I drank nearly half of them, and it is said that the sleeping pills nowadays are not fatal.So I poured a glass of water first, and drank all the remaining dozen sleeping pills.Then I went to the kitchen, turned on the gas stove, but didn't let it ignite, and was satisfied with the sound of "chucking" and the pungent gas smell.

I opened the kitchen door and went back to the living room and lay down on the sofa again. I don't know if it was because of the sleeping pills or the gas, but I felt groggy soon anyway.

I heard two "squeaks" in the kitchen, but I didn't pay attention to it. In fact, I didn't have the energy to pay attention to it at the moment.But I suddenly miss Gao Tianlong so much, so much!At this moment when I am about to sleep forever, what I miss the most is not Guan Shijie, nor anyone else, what I think of is actually Gao Tianlong!Even if he is someone else's husband, even if he has his wife and son, I still miss him so much that my heart will break!

So I struggled to get to the phone, trying to stay awake for the last time, typed a message in, and pressed the launch button.

——Tianlong, you said that homosexuality is too difficult, you are right!In my next life, I will be a pig or a dog, and I will not be gay!

I dropped my phone, groggy, into perpetual darkness.

After "Nature VS Human Relations", please read the third volume "Love and Hate Dilemma".

Warm winter sun

13. 02, 05