Fall in love with special forces

My dad is over 50 years old. In my memory, this is the first time he cried.And crying so loudly and so heart-piercingly, it really hurt my heart!But I am a homosexual. People can refrain from sinning, but they cannot refrain from being gay.

"Father! If you really want to kill me, then just kill me!" I knelt in front of my father, with tears streaming down my face and eyes, "You must think... that I am unfilial, that you... ...How did you raise such a rebellious son! Yes! I also think I am very unfilial. But...it's not that I don't want to be filial, I simply can't do it in the way you need! I'm gay, but that's not me What I want is not something I can choose. God blinded me and gave me the wrong gender! It’s not that I haven’t struggled, and I haven’t thought about changing. During the years in the factory, I also tried to talk to women. Children fall in love, but there is no way, I can't accept girls at all! Kissing those girls makes me feel hairy all over my body. That's why I resigned from the factory, and I had to face up to the fact that I am gay, and had to try Facing my own life that is different from others! I know... Homosexuality is a very shameful thing here. If it gets out, it will make my parents unable to leave the house, so I just had a quarrel with the two bosses, isn’t it I don't respect you, I would rather bear the charge of unfilial piety, at least... don't let people know that your son is gay!"

I cried and said.My father has been sitting on the chair without moving. Although he did not wail as before, there are still tears on his face.My mother was sitting sideways next to my father, also sobbing and crying.My sister was also crying, until I finished a sentence, my parents ignored me, my sister cried and answered a few words at the same time.

"Even... people in the village won't know that you are gay, but if you have such a big fight with your parents, can your parents still have a bright face when they go out? You can't accept women, but... since you said you are Homosexuality, I have also taken the time to check a lot of information on the Internet in the past few months. People say... the vast majority of homosexuals will still get married in the end! You are talking high-soundingly, why don’t you want to harm others or yourself, but I know you In fact, I just can’t bear the one whose surname is Guan! Otherwise... even if you can’t accept a woman, you have to accept it reluctantly. Your parents have raised you for so many years, and you have responsibilities that you should bear. You can’t be so selfish and just want to be comfortable. Live your own life and don't care about your parents' life or death!"

"Sister, you're right! I don't want to part with Guan Shijie. He is so kind to me, and anyone else would be reluctant to part with him! However, if my parents just want me to break up with Guan Shijie now, I will agree without hesitation! After all, My mother gave birth to me and raised me. No matter how good Guan Shijie treats me, it is not as good as my parents treat me! But, if you want me to get married, you want me to marry a woman in a legitimate way, then I can’t do it! Because I am gay, I like it It’s a man, not a woman! My sister said I was selfish, that I didn’t care about my parents’ life or death, so let me ask my sister, isn’t it selfish when I marry a woman? First of all, it’s very difficult for a homosexual to sleep with a woman A difficult thing, even if you can force it, it is impossible to be harmonious. I marry someone back, but I can’t meet her major needs in life. Is this called selfishness? My parents have nurtured me, and I It is true that I should be filial, but what right do I have to marry an innocent woman back to be a widow? Will the parents feel sorry for their daughter marrying a homosexual? If it is you, let you marry a homosexual with your eyes closed, would you Don't want to? If you don't want to, why do you want other girls to marry your gay brother?"

"Just because you're gay will embarrass the whole family with you!" my sister roared, and then lowered her voice a little, "I don't have all the reasons you say, anyway, if you don't want to hurt other girls, you'd rather Kill your own parents, that's up to you! I can't control you, I can only pretend that I don't have you as my younger brother, and my parents can only pretend that I don't have you! Didn't you say that you won't come back in the future? Then leave quickly, forever Don't come back!"

"Shut up, both of you!" my father yelled, blocking back the words that came to my lips.My father's face was stained with tears, but he stared at me with round red eyes, "You are my only son, it's fine if you don't show filial piety to me, but... I can't let you break the root of my Ma family Son! Now I just want to ask you one question, are you willing to get married or not?"

"Father, I can't marry!" I clenched my teeth and insisted, "It doesn't matter if I suffer, but I can't drag other girls in to suffer with me!"

"Very good!" My father smiled angrily, "Then why do I need your son!"

My father jumped up and picked up the firewood stick on the ground, aiming at my head with a "bang".I only felt severe pain in my head, and I vaguely heard my mother scream, and I fainted on the ground.

※※※

Woke up in my own bed.It hurts on my forehead, but it has been bandaged, and an old doctor in our village is giving me an injection right now.

"Why are you twisting like this? Aren't you very sensible before? Why have you learned to talk to your parents after you have been out for a few years?" The doctor was nagging, "Your father is really angry, this time Bangzi...how can you hit him!"

I didn't say a word, and let him finish the injection for me.While the doctor was packing his medicine box, he went to talk to my mother again.

"If you want me to say, since he talked outside, let him go! Why must he look for it nearby? Didn't our boy marry a woman from another province? He won't come back all year long! But the little boy now Boy, who can control it? The more you control, the more he will oppose you! I will pretend that I never gave birth to him, as long as he is healthy outside, it will be fine!"

When my mother heard what he said, she couldn't help crying again, she sent the doctor out while saying good things, then turned around and sat down beside my bed.

"Mom, I'm sorry!" I said.As soon as he said it, tears welled up from his eyes again.

"Don't say I'm sorry, this matter... If it's really natural, then we're sorry for you!" My mother turned her face away and wiped away her tears, not looking at me, "Your father... has already been lying in bed with anger I'm in bed, I'll discuss it with your sister, and I still have to let you get married! Even if...you barely survive for two years, when you have a child, if you really can't live on, you can leave! At least...let outsiders see Not too much gossip, your father and I have a grandson to hug!"

"Mom, I really want to do this too!" I cried and looked at my mother apologetically, still sticking to my position, "But think about it, let's put aside this girl, when I really have a son, how can I be willing to do it?" Let my son have no mother since he was a child? How can he be willing to leave his son to me? At that time, it will not only be a worry for our family, but it will make the hearts of the two families bleed! There is also the child who Either he has no father or no mother, isn't he more innocent and pitiful? So...Mom, I really want to be filial in your way, but I really can't do it!"

My mother didn't speak again, she just sat on the head of the bed with tears for a long time, then stood up and walked out.I looked at her hunchbacked body, as if she suddenly aged 80 years, I was really heartbroken!But I am gay, I am destined to bear the charge of unfilial piety, and walk a life path that is destined to be full of thorns and heart-wrenching.

Guan Shijie called again that night. I was afraid that he would feel distressed, so I didn't dare to tell him about my head injury.On the second and third days, my mother still tried to make delicious food for me every day, but she never said a word to me, and my father never even got out of bed.I want to go in to see him, but my mother won't let me, because if I go in, I'm afraid there will be another row.

On the fourth day, which is the eleventh day of the first lunar month, my sister came again.She talked with my mother in front of my father's bed for a while, and then my sister came out with a cold face.

"Father hasn't eaten for two days, and he said he has no face to see you. So, either, you go in now and tell your father that you are willing to get married, and let him come to see him tomorrow! Or, you just go, don't stay at home and let Daddy Fuck you!"

I am so difficult!I really want to go in now, kneel in front of my dad's bed and beg his forgiveness, I even want to do everything according to what my dad asked me to do.However, if I really do that, and really bring in another family who doesn't know, it will only be more troublesome and worrying to face in the future!

So I took a long breath and calmly said to my sister: "Sister, from now on, parents... will be taken care of by you!"

"You...!" My sister gritted her teeth, as if she wanted to eat me, "Are you really so cruel? You really...would rather father be mad at you than give in?"

I said nothing.All that needs to be said has been said. Since everyone insists on their own opinions, it will be nonsense to continue.

So I turned around and went into my bedroom, didn't have to pack anything, just picked up my bag and came out.My sister looked at me angrily and resentfully, and my mother came out from the back room with trembling lips and pale face.

"You are really... so cruel, you don't want your parents anymore?"

"Mom, it's not that I don't want you guys! But, my life has to go on my own, and you can't replace me! You have raised me so much, and I will still send money back every month in the future. You recognize me, and I will come back to see you at any time .In the future, if I have the ability, I will take you to live with me! If you don’t want to recognize me anymore, then you can only...beg the two old people to take care of themselves!” I knelt down to my mother, "咚咚咚咚" knocked my head a few times, and then turned to my sister, "Sister, even if you don't recognize me as a brother, you will always be my sister, and from now on...you will take care of my parents!"

I kowtowed to my sister a few times, got up, turned around and went out.My mother cried out: "Don't go, mom won't let you go!"

I stopped, but my father yelled weakly in the back room: "Let him go! In this room, there is him without me, and there is me without him!"

I looked towards the bedroom door, knelt down again, and kowtowed to my father a few more times towards the bedroom door, and said a few words in a raised voice: "Dad, take care! If...you are really angry about this matter Anyway, I won't let myself live another day! You are my father, you can let me go up and down the mountain of swords, but you just can't force me to get married!"

"Get out!" My father yelled again in the room.

I stood up, put my bag on my back, and walked out ruthlessly.

My mother cried out behind my back.I really want to go back and hug her to comfort her, but I can't!Now that I have taken this step, I must stick to it!

The mountain wind was blowing head-on, blowing my wet face with a biting coldness.However, the cool wind is not as cool as my heart.