just frowned

So after a period of time, after he felt that he could barely control his emotions, he stopped the treatment process on his own initiative.

After learning about Shen Cheng's recent mental state, Dr. Tang quickly gave him a professional treatment method - systematic desensitization therapy.

"We tried to use this method before, but the effect was not satisfactory." Dr. Tang flipped through Shen Cheng's treatment records, looked up at Shen Cheng, "Do you still remember?"

"En." Shen Cheng twisted his hands together unconsciously, and nodded his head.

Until now, when systematic desensitization therapy is mentioned, he still instinctively resists it.

Systematic desensitization therapy needs to induce the patient to enter the situation that most directly caused his depression attack. At that time, Dr. Tang tried to let Shen Cheng imagine the scene of Liang Xu leaving without saying a word and resolutely, hoping to help him gradually overcome it. His inability to control his emotions.

Tang Junhe was 17 years old at the time and was a sophomore in high school. When he closed his eyes and followed Dr. Tang's words to imagine the scene where he saw his mother leave in front of him, he suddenly curled up uncontrollably, and put He buried his face in his knees, sobbing softly.

Compared to the hysterical cries of other patients who came to the treatment room, this reaction was not so intense, but Dr. Tang knew that Shen Cheng would carefully hide his emotions even in a state of extreme collapse.That afternoon, it took Dr. Tang a lot of effort to help him recover from his collapse.

Shen Cheng couldn't make himself touch the memory of that scene. For him, desensitization therapy would not help him eliminate his depression, but would aggravate his depression.

He didn't want to think about that scene again, which made him feel that he was always abandoned again and again, by Liang Xu, by Shen's mother, and none of them wanted to stay by his side to accompany him.

Seeing the resistance in Shen Cheng's eyes, Dr. Tang encouraged him gently: "I believe that with your boyfriend's company, the desensitization therapy will definitely work this time. How about we try it?"

She said the word "boyfriend" with a very natural expression, which made Shen Cheng break away from the conflicting emotions for a short time, his heart seemed to miss a beat, and he subconsciously looked at Liang Xu.

At this moment, Liang Xu stretched out his hand to hold his wrist, and turned his face to look at him, with no abnormal expression on his face, and the tone of discussion: "Let's try it, shall we?"

Shen Cheng hesitated for a moment, bit his lower lip vigorously, and nodded slightly after a while.

"Does he need to be present?" Shen Cheng looked at Liang Xu and asked.

"Yes, you don't want him there?"

"I don't know either," Shen Cheng shook his head and said, he didn't want Liang Xu to see himself in a mess.

"How about I accompany you?" Liang Xu looked at Shen Cheng and asked softly.

"Try it first."

Shen Cheng was sitting in the treatment room with soft light, with soothing music flowing in the air, he followed the psychiatrist's words to relax his body.

Liang Xu sat on the sofa at the back, watching the treatment process here.

At first, Shen Cheng didn't feel uncomfortable, but just felt a little nervous, because he knew that Liang Xu must be watching him intently from behind.

But gradually, under the guidance of a psychologist, he quickly entered the imaginary situation.

At the beginning, he entered imaginary scenes with a lower stimulus level, such as asking him to imagine Liang Xu walking out of this room. Gradually, according to his reaction, the stimulus level began to increase.

"Now imagine you enter the hospital, the hospital is very quiet..."

Shen Cheng followed Dr. Tang's description into this memory, the quiet hospital, the white walls, and the occasional patients who passed by his side.

The scene changed suddenly, and Shen Cheng saw his other self sitting in the garden, constantly looking at the phone in his hand.

The phone finally rang, and Shen Cheng watched as he hurriedly picked up the phone and took a look, but the light in his eyes dimmed.

Watching him pick up the phone and say a word, he froze in place, with an unbelievable look on his face.

The mobile phone that fell on the ground rang again, as if he had been awakened suddenly, he turned and ran towards the hospital, still muttering to himself.

He passed through Shen Cheng's body, and in an instant, Shen Cheng became the one running. He ran to the door of a ward in one breath and stopped in his tracks.

With trembling hands, he touched the doorknob, but he didn't dare to pull it open.

The door was opened in front of him, and a person looked at him with red eyes, "You child, why didn't you answer the phone?" Dr. Liao's eyes were red, and he looked at Shen Cheng with a slight reproach.

"I... Dr. Liao, how is my mother?"

"Go see your mother."

Shen Cheng walked step by step to Shen's mother's ward, tears fell without warning.

Shen's mother was lying on the ward. She looked so energetic before she left, but now her face was pale, as if she was more than ten years old.

Hearing some movement, Shen's mother slowly opened her eyes.The moment he saw Shen Cheng, a smile appeared on the corner of his mouth.

"You're here, are you still angry with mom?" Mother Shen said while reaching out her hand to Shen Cheng, wanting to hold his hand.

Shen Cheng's breathing began to become short, his back left the seat back, and he curled up unconsciously.

Trembling, he raised a hand to try to grab Shen's mother's hand, but it was empty.Shen's mother obviously stretched out her hand towards him in front of his eyes, but when he wanted to grab Shen's mother's hand, he found that no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't touch Shen's mother's hand.

"I'm leaving." Mother Shen mouthed to Shen Cheng.

Shen Cheng shouted hoarsely and desperately, "Don't...", the lines of his tensed shoulders trembled slightly.This is how he protects himself when he is in panic and anxiety, and Liang Xu is very familiar with it.

Liang Xu looked at Shen Cheng's appearance, frowned, and couldn't help it anymore, he stood up from the sofa.Seeing that the psychiatrist did not stop him, he strode towards Shen Cheng.

Shen Cheng is already 26 years old, and he has grown a lot compared to eight years ago, but when he curls himself up like this, he looks like a small ball, like a poor little animal.

Shen Cheng forgot that he was in the treatment room for a moment, at that moment, he really thought he was in Shen's mother's ward.

In the imaginary situation, he looked desperately at Shen's mother's hand which was close at hand, but he couldn't grasp it no matter what.

The extreme fear and panic made his legs weak, and he couldn't help squatting down.

"Don't go, please don't go, don't leave me, okay? Please." Shen Cheng's tears flowed from his tightly closed eyes.

And at this moment, he felt a hand fall on the top of his head, rubbing his hair.Shen Cheng doesn't like others to rub his hair, and in fact no one else has rubbed his hair.

"I'm here, I'm right next to you, I will always be with you, don't be afraid." Liang Xu's voice reached his ears.

Liang Xu stretched out his hand, and took Shen Cheng's tightly held hands into his own.

"Don't be afraid, I'm here."

Shen Cheng raised his head, his eyes were squinted by the sunlight shining into the treatment room.Only then did he realize that it was just an illusion in a treatment.

Shen Cheng lowered his head, took a deep breath, and when he exhaled, he slowly straightened up, then turned sideways and hugged Liang Xu, burying his face in his lower abdomen.

Liang Xu pressed the back of his head with one hand, and patted his back lightly with the other hand, still comforting him, "I am here, I will be with you, I will never leave you again gone."

Under Liang Xu's soft comfort, Shen Cheng's mood gradually stabilized.

He let go of Liang Xu, feeling a little embarrassed by his subconscious actions.He looked up at Liang Xu, Liang Xu stretched out his hand to take a few pieces of paper from the tissue box Dr. Tang handed over, and gently wiped his face.

"I'll just do it myself." Shen Cheng took the paper from Liang Xu, "Thank you."

He turned back to Dr. Tang and said, "I'm sorry, was my reaction just now too extreme?"

"It's beyond my expectation that you are willing to reveal your emotions," Dr. Tang said. "Although it didn't go to the end, this level is very good for you. You have a lover by your side for desensitization treatment. The effect is indeed much better.”

When Shen Cheng heard the word lover, his heart skipped a beat again.He turned his head slightly to look at Liang Xu, who was listening to Dr. Tang very seriously, as if he didn't notice these two words at all.

Dr. Tang showed Shen Cheng and Liang Xu the various data from the desensitization treatment just now on the laptop screen. walk out.

The feeling of being abandoned, like a big hand clutching his heart tightly, made him breathless.

When Dr. Tang was talking about the next treatment plan, Liang Xu held the pen and quickly wrote down what she said in the notebook.

Shen Cheng felt a little embarrassed, he should take care of his affairs, and he shouldn't bother Liang Xu anymore.But if he said this again at this time, it would feel very hypocritical. Shen Cheng hesitated for a while, but finally didn't speak.

Shen Cheng looked at Liang Xu, who was memorizing things seriously, in a trance, as if he had returned to eight years ago, and the Liang Xu who was sitting next to him and doing homework with him eight years ago had finally returned to his side again.

It would be great if these eight years were just a dream. He just fell asleep because of his homework. When he opened his eyes, Liang Xu was still sitting next to him doing his homework.

In my memory, Liang Xu would jump up on the basketball to shoot, would sleep on the desk in the classroom, would hold a pen and slowly check the answers on the test questions given by the teacher, and would put his hands on his back in class Knock until he opens his hand.

Shen Cheng suddenly realized that even though Liang Xu had been away from his life for eight years, he was still as clear in his memory. He remembered everything about Liang Xu clearly and never forgot.

Although the collapsed state during the treatment was somewhat similar to that of a few years ago, compared to the last time, Shen Cheng's emotions recovered very quickly this time.

Half an hour later, at the end of the treatment, Dr. Tang proposed to have a few words with Shen Cheng alone.

Hearing this, Liang Xu stretched out his hand and shook Shen Cheng's hand: "Then I'll go out and smoke a cigarette first." After speaking, he stood up and shook hands with the psychiatrist, then closed and rolled up the notebook, held it in his hand, and walked away. out.

As soon as the door was closed, Doctor Tang looked at Shen Cheng and said, "He loves you very much."

These words from the psychiatrist were particularly convincing. Shen Cheng didn't expect her to say this. He was stunned for a moment, but when he came back to his senses, there was no joy on his face. He smiled wryly: "You can see come out?"

"It's obvious, and he looks reliable." Dr. Tang said, "But why after I said this, you don't look... not so happy. Haven't you reconciled?"

Shen Cheng didn't answer Dr. Tang's words, he lowered his head and grabbed the hem of his clothes with both hands.

Dr. Tang got the answer from his reaction, "Since you agreed to let him accompany you here, it means that you don't reject him so much in your heart, you just can't get over the hurdle in your heart."

"Maybe it won't pass." Shen Cheng sighed softly, "He has already explained everything to me, the reason why he left, but I still can't make it through, I still can't let go of the line of defense against him in my heart .Maybe, we really have no chance."

"But your actions and expression just now tell me that you can't let him go. He loves you, and you love him too. Don't question what I said, because I am a psychologist."

Liang Xu stood in the corridor, smoking a cigarette by the open window, half smoked a cigarette, and turned around when he heard the door open.

Seeing Shen Cheng coming out of the treatment room and approaching him, he didn't ask the psychiatrist what he said, but just raised his hand to touch Shen Cheng's face and said, "How do you feel?"

Liang Xu's actions were subconscious, and he realized after he finished, "Well, I'm sorry, I..."

"Very good." Shen Cheng interrupted Liang Xu, "Thank you for coming with me."

"Thank you for telling me." There was some obvious emotion in Liang Xu's eyes, which made Shen Cheng dare not look directly into his eyes.

"I went to the bathroom to wash my face, and I felt a little uncomfortable."

"Let's go." Liang Xu stubbed out the cigarette in the ash trough on the trash can, and walked with him.

The bathroom was very quiet, only the sound of running water, Shen Cheng held the water to wash his face, then turned off the faucet, and wiped off the excess water from his face with the back of his hand.

Liang Xu leaned against the sink and waited for him.

"It's finished." Shen Cheng walked in front of him, slightly raised his chin to look at him.

Liang Xu reached out and pushed his wet forehead hair aside, revealing his smooth forehead.

The eyes of the two met, and they froze for a moment.

Liang Xu reached out and grabbed the clothes on Shen Cheng's chest with a little force, and Shen Cheng threw himself into his arms.

The water on his cheek rubbed against Yang Xuan's shoulder, seeping in through the thin shirt fabric, Liang Xu didn't say anything, stared straight at Shen Cheng, raised his hand to wrap his arms around his back, fingers intentionally or unintentionally Rubbing the stubble on the back of his neck.