just frowned

"You fucking talk about my future and my future, why don't you think about yourself? After we separate, you'll be fine?" Liang Xu yelled at Shen Cheng. , it turned out that Shen Cheng was still not doing well, so he cried first.

Liang Xu's stern face showed a sharp pain like a knife, he couldn't hide his emotions anymore, he pulled Shen Cheng into his arms, hugged him tightly, tears fell down without hesitation.

"Shen Cheng, you are a fucking fool!"

Shen Cheng was also stunned when he saw Liang Xu's tears, in his memory Liang Xu had never shed tears no matter what happened.

"How can a man cry?" Liang Xu once stood in front of Shen Cheng and said to him.

Liang Xu's sudden tears this time made Shen Cheng completely at a loss.

Shen Cheng looked helplessly at Liang Bo who was sitting opposite, and motioned him to help him.

Liang Bo shrugged at Shen Cheng, expressing that he was also helpless and didn't know what to do.

Shen Cheng hesitated and raised his hand to pat Liang Xu's back lightly, "Yes... I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?" Liang Xu let go of him, with tears still hanging from the corners of his eyes.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't be so selfish." Shen Cheng lowered his head, admitting his mistakes very sincerely.

"Do you feel selfish too?"

"Ah."

He can do whatever he says, as long as he doesn't continue to cry in front of him, Shen Cheng really can't stand Liang Xu crying.

There is a deep sense of powerlessness, and the heart throbbing.

——Don't cry for me, I really don't deserve what you do.

"Then will you still do this?"

"Not anymore."

"Then let's make up."

"Hmm...no!" Shen Cheng was almost not distracted by Liang Xu, he suddenly raised his head to look at Liang Xu.

Liang Xu pursed his lips, his eyes were wet from crying, and he looked very innocent.

Shen Cheng almost let go, he forced himself to move his eyes away.

"Why, why haven't you reconciled with me? Just because you think you won't live long?"

Shen Cheng remained silent and did not speak.

"Listen, Shen Cheng." Liang Xuhei stared at Shen Cheng with deep eyes, and his eyes seemed to be able to see into his soul through the eye sockets. He clasped Shen Cheng's thin shoulders with both hands, forcing Shen Cheng to look up. He, said: "Even if you die, I will not marry, let alone have children. I will not live in the good way you want, I will be alone, eat, sleep, work, walk, Going to the park, watching movies... growing old alone. When I die, people will write on my tombstone, this is the life of abandoned garbage."

Shen Cheng's lips moved, and his voice was as thin as a mosquito: "It's not like this..."

"That's not the case?" Liang Xu sneered, "But the truth is, do you know why?"

"..."

"Because in my heart, I have already been married. If you are alive, Liang Xu is a man with a family. If you leave, I am a widower. People will say that I am your widow. Do you know what it means?" Widow'? It means that this person is still alive, he just didn't die, but he just didn't die either." Liang Xu closed his eyes, his voice was a bit tired and hoarse, "If you really don't have you, If Liang Xu really doesn't have Shen Cheng in his life, then what's the point of his being alive?"

Shen Cheng's eyes were slightly red, and he said softly after a long while: "...Don't be like this...don't you think like this, leave me, you will have a better life, it will definitely be better than being with me. "

"I don't know when I will leave suddenly... Liang Xu..." Shen Cheng gasped and choked, his voice made people feel sad: "My current physical condition has become like this, I don't have any If there is no way to recover, I won't live long."

Liang Xu's first reaction was, who the hell told you that, let me know, and beat him to death!

Shen Cheng shed tears,

"Please" he paused because of sobbing, "please forget about me, okay? Or, please let me go, okay? Just let me live the rest of my life quietly by myself. "

"No, you won't die. Your illness is curable, and it's not a terminal illness. I will always be with you."

"...But I don't want you to accompany me," Shen Cheng said softly, his eyes flushed, "I don't want you to waste time on me, anyway, I will go on the road alone in the end..."

Liang Xu wanted to yell, but Shen Cheng choked too much, because his throat was convulsed and even hiccupped lightly, even his breathing was intermittent.

He could only forcefully suppress his anger, took a glass of boiled water from the table and fed it to Shen Cheng.Shen Cheng was immersed in his own sadness, so he didn't care, and took Liang Xu's hand to drink water in small sips.

Liang Xu looked at Shen Cheng obediently drinking water, and suddenly his heart softened a little.It would be great if you were always so obedient, why are you always angry with yourself.

Liang Xu gently rubbed Shen Cheng's hair, and asked him softly: "If I didn't discover your true thoughts today, you never thought about what you would do when I found out later? You are not afraid that I will come Is time really crazy?"

"I was already dead at that time!" Shen Cheng retorted without hesitation: "Maybe many years have passed by then, and you have already married and established a business with descendants around your knees, even if you really feel it, how much will that feeling affect you?" sky!"

There were so many tears in Shen Cheng's eyes that he didn't even think about saying this, but he still felt that he was very reasonable.

Liang Xu suddenly laughed angrily, and he stretched out his hand to wipe the tears on Shen Chengbi's face: "How many days? I can remember you forever! I would even die and want to crawl to be buried with you, but you just—"

Immediately afterwards, Liang Xu's voice stopped suddenly. He looked at Shen Cheng, and slowly felt an unbelievable feeling: "...you still think that I won't love you at this moment? Why do you think, you After I leave, I can run to marry someone as if nothing happened?"

However, Shen Cheng couldn't speak and could only shake his head.

He gripped the edge of the table tightly with his fingers, as if his fingernails were about to be broken with such force, and after a long while he suppressed it with all his strength, he still choked with pain that could not be concealed: "You can, Liang Xu, you will take me Forgot..."

"Time will take away everything. If you can't forget, it's just because the time is not long enough. One day you will be able to have a good family and live..."

Liang Xu looked at Shen Cheng who couldn't finish wiping away his tears, and suddenly didn't want to argue with him anymore.

It took him a long time to smile bitterly: "You are right, pros and cons. If I don't live with you to the end of my life, I won't be able to prove you wrong. Forget it."

Liang Xu looked at Shen Cheng in front of him, gently but firmly held Fang Jin's fingers that were pinching the corner of the table in his palm, and hugged him with the other, letting his scarred and tearful face stick tightly to his arms inside.

After waiting for a long, long time, he finally felt that the violent sobs gradually subsided, then he lowered his head and kissed the top of the cool hair, and murmured: "...you are just mentally ill, I have discovered it now , there is no need to reason with you."

Shen Cheng buried his face on his shoulder and did not speak, sobbing all the time.

"Hey, let me say" Liang Bo who was sitting opposite finally opened his mouth, interrupting the quiet time of the two people opposite him, he looked Shen Cheng up and down, "You young man, why are you yelling all day long?" Die, die? Isn’t it just depression and anorexia? It’s not incurable. I don’t understand how it became terminally ill when I came to you. What’s the matter, you really want me, an old man with white hair For the brunette?"

Shen Cheng didn't respond.

"You never thought that your mother is in the spirit of the sky. If she knows that her son wants to die every day, will she feel better?"

Shen Cheng's body stiffened for a moment.

Liang Bo looked at Shen Cheng's reaction, "Unfilial son."

He spit out a few words from his mouth in a moderate voice, just enough for Shen Cheng to hear clearly.

Shen Cheng raised his head from Liang Xu's shoulder in a panic, "I didn't."

"You don't? Your parents, you don't even want to live anymore, don't you? What's the matter, can your mother be happy when you die?"

Although Liang Bo's words were not pleasant to listen to, every sentence could hit Shen Cheng's vitals.

"If you don't go for treatment, why do you feel that you are dying? Why do you feel that you are going to die?"

Liang Xu lowered his head and supported Shen Cheng, "I'll accompany you and accompany you to the treatment, okay?"

"I don't see a doctor when I'm sick, and I just say that I'm going to die. I keep pushing away people who are willing to do anything for me, people who love me wholeheartedly, and keep saying that it's for his own good. I don't know if this person is What do you think? I'm probably a fool. If it were me, I would definitely see a doctor immediately, take care of my illness, and then hold my own things tightly in my hands." Liang Bo stood aside All the murmured words clearly fell into the ears of the two people opposite.

"Shen Cheng" Liang Bo called Shen Cheng,

"Ten years ago when I saw you persuading you to leave Liang Xu, you said to me, let me stop thinking about you, no matter what I say, you will not change your mind, you and Liang Xu will always be together, I I still can’t forget the light of determination in your eyes at that time. As a result, after ten years, I didn’t expect that your life is not as good as before. The eyes that once shocked me have completely disappeared in time. I didn’t expect Ah, I didn't expect that," Liang Bo said while shaking his head, there was both helplessness and pity in his tone, and he sighed heavily.

Liang Bo's last sigh was like a stone weighing on Shen Cheng's heart, and he was almost out of breath.

Liang Xu looked at Shen Cheng's expression very badly, he just wanted to speak, but Liang Bo motioned him not to speak, and asked him to wait for Shen Cheng to speak first.

I don't know how long it took, but Liang Xu really thought that Shen Cheng would stop talking, so Shen Cheng suddenly called him "Liang Xu".

Liang Xu said "Huh?", his tone trembling slightly.

Shen Cheng hesitated again for a moment and said: "Actually, I have a regular psychiatrist... A few years ago, I went to her once a week, but then I went less frequently... After you came back, I went there again."

When Shen Cheng knew Chen Youfan's true intentions for him, he found a psychiatrist to treat him, but that was only because sometimes it was really difficult for him to control his emotions.

"When?" Liang Xu asked, turning his face slightly.

"The time I came out of the hospital." Shen Cheng paused, then looked up at Liang Xu, "If she must be treated, maybe she knows me better."

Liang Xu tremblingly opened his mouth, he stretched out his hand to hold Shen Cheng's cold fingertips, and said, "Okay, then I will go with you next time."

Liang Bo sighed again, he didn't expect that he would be the one who persuaded these two people to get together ten years later, what a crime!

After Liang Xu came back, Shen Cheng went to the psychological consultation room again.

A foreign doctor in his thirties, a professional psychology phd, they communicated in English, which gave Tang Junhe a rare sense of security, and he couldn't say some things in Chinese.

"Probably because he came back suddenly, I found that I still couldn't refuse him. When I was insomnia, I might think about the physical contact between us all night. Sometimes it's just the touch of fingers. I think about a lot of things from the past."

"Is he chasing you?"

"Maybe he wants to reconcile with me." Shen Cheng smiled wryly, "But you know I don't need this right now, I hope he can completely separate from me and live a happier life, I don't want to drag him down anymore. "

"Let me give you some advice as a friend, either accept it and let him be your antidote, or be more straightforward and don't let him disturb your life. Your current state of worrying about gains and losses is the most dangerous situation ’” said the psychiatrist at the end of the treatment.

The next afternoon, the two came to the counseling room together.

Even though he had mentioned that he did not come alone this time when making the appointment, Shen Cheng was still a little apprehensive.

After all, even he himself doesn't know how he feels about Liang Xu. "

"Gotaneboyfriend?" The psychiatrist asked on WeChat two days ago.Tang Junhe thought for a while, typed a line of words on the screen and sent it: "no, alayshi"

The psychological consultation room was brightly lit, and Dr. Tang, a female psychologist in her thirties, came out from behind the table to shake hands with them.

"You finally came back to look for me again" said to Shen Cheng with a smile, then looked at Liang Xu next to him, "This is another protagonist in your story, right?"

While Shen Cheng nodded, she stretched out her hand to Liang Xu, "Hello."

"Hello," Liang Xu shook hands with her, "Liang Xu."

Shen Cheng never thought that one day he would sit in front of the psychiatrist with Liang Xu. In the past, when he sat here, he was almost always in a state where it was difficult to control his emotions.Although here he can obtain a moment of psychological peace, but he still has a strong sense of resistance.