Who allowed me to live like a dream

Ren Xiaoxu breathed quietly, his chest rising and falling flexibly.The cigarette burnt out the last shred of tobacco, white mist lingered in the empty smoking room, and the powder shaken from the square ash trough was exactly the same color as Ren Xiaoxu's coat.

I don't know how long the bodies have been stuck together, and the skin seems to be glued together.The place where I hugged was so hot that it seemed to be dripping with sweat.For a short period of time, Gu Jiachen saw the past flashing in front of him like a slideshow.

The scenes that passed by are familiar and unfamiliar. I don’t know if they are 20 years old or 16 years old. I don’t know if they are in this life or the previous life.In a vague way, he felt that he and Ren Xiaoxu should not only be destined for this life, they also had a previous life, and they also had a previous life.The future is empty, but the memory is long, it fills people's life, it will erase the painful picture, leaving only the fragrance of happiness...or in other words, it will make the original painful memory brew the fragrance of happiness.

Three lives and three lives, a hundred turns and a thousand turns.Soft and full of knots, affectionate.I don't know if I will meet you in my next life.At least, in this life, let me give you all my love.

The chests are tightly pressed together, like conjoined twins.Gu Jiachen rested his chin on Ren Xiaoxu's shoulder, he could feel the faint worry in Ren Xiaoxu's heart, so he murmured in his ear:

"Don't worry... If something happens, I will definitely not seek death... I will live strong, and I will die behind you."

Ren Xiaoxu pressed out the short cigarette butt caught between his fingertips, and wrapped his strong arms around Gu Jiachen's back, encircling him and confining him in his arms.Feel the temperature emanating from his body, and the warm, soft, quiet and sweet smell of wintersweet on his body.This feeling is so similar to Bianhua, Ren Xiaoxu thought, beautiful, but cruel, bright, and bloody.They hugged in the smoking area of ​​the hospital, so quiet, as if time had stopped, they were frozen into this dimension, frozen, frozen, and became eternal.

They seem to be everywhere in this hospital.The ward next to Tao Yuyue was the VIP room where Gu Jiachen and Ji Zetong both lived.Ren Xiaoxu and him used to make out there, from the carefulness when he was recovering from the bone injury to the enthusiasm and madness after the body recovered.

In this corridor, Gu Jiachen still remembered that Ren Xiaoxu once carried him like a princess and walked through here to enter the elevator.In the smoking area, he also remembered that Ren Xiaoxu would occasionally come here to smoke a cigarette. He didn't smoke much, maybe a little more during that time.He was standing at the window smoking, and Gu Jiachen hugged him from behind, pressed his chest against his back, and jokingly asked, "Oh, your chest is on your back, are you hungry?" Ren Xiaoxu would turn around with a smile, spit a puff of smoke on his face, and then they kissed, and he breathed the fresh nicotine and tar in Ren Xiaoxu's lungs.Poisoned together, and then, will they die together?

Memories flooded in like a tidal wave, and Gu Jiachen didn't have time to review them one by one.The love between them is like air, the more you want to escape, the more addicted you become, light as nothing, yet ubiquitous and indispensable.No matter how much time has passed, he will still blush and feel shy in front of that person.Sometimes he will suddenly forget that he still loves such a person, but when he thinks about it, he feels so pleasantly surprised.Fate is wonderful, isn't it?I would meet you, I would fall in love with you...

Gu Jiachen looked at the palm of his hand to see if there were suddenly tangled curves growing on it.His fingers were fair, and his palms were fleshy and slightly pink.His life line is not long and twists and turns; the wisdom line is okay, it seems sufficient; the love line only extends to the front of the middle finger and stops abruptly, it seems a bit short, short and single.

Can you fall in love with someone else in this life?Will you fall in love with someone else in this life?Gu Jiachen closed his eyes, thinking while hugging that warm body.Ren Xiaoxu's chin rested on his shoulder, a little heavy.

Gu Jiachen felt that he had found another excuse for himself. He used to always feel that the reason why he violated the biological principle to be with the same sex as Ren Xiaoxu was mostly because he dared not refuse him to fall in love with others.Every time there is a problem in their relationship, he will not take the initiative to solve it, and this excuse is always the first thing in his mind.

It was you who forced me, it was you who insisted that I stay by your side, it was your fault that we started because you were stubborn, so even if we had problems, it was all because of you...

What a stupid idea!Gu Jiachen thought, how irresponsible would be to think like that!A slap can't be heard, and if you really want to leave, can someone stop it?It's so easy to leave, you've fallen in love with him deeply, why don't you dare to admit it?

Too much wind and rain, too much trouble, too much work, this man will also be exhausted.Even if he is Ren Xiaoxu, he will be tired.

The two of them love each other, like walking in the dark night, they will experience the darkest moment before dawn, they can't see their fingers, they can't see their five senses, they have no direction, no guidance.They couldn't even see each other's outlines.Fear, panic, fatigue, bewilderment, emptiness...everything is so cold.Only faith, only faith.Persevere, persevere, you will be able to see the dawn, cut through the darkness like sharp scissors, and belong to their tomorrow.

Some things can only be dealt with hard.

Gu Jiachen felt a numbness in his shoulders and neck.In a daze, he recalled last night, did they do it?He hugged Ren Xiaoxu like that, actively hugged him, clinging to his body, if he had been doing Fa-rectification on the spot long ago.

There were bursts of soreness in my body, my waist, neck, shoulders, thighs... spreading everywhere.Gu Jiachen frowned and tried hard to think back, did you do it?did not do?Done?What the hell is... here?A non-smoking area with a glass door?Where everyone can see? ...

He could feel a warmth in his arms, and gradually, the warmth expanded.He regained feeling in his extremities.He found that he was hugging Ren Xiaoxu, sitting on his lap, wrapping his hands around him, clasping behind his waist.There was something heavy on the shoulders, and something was pressing on it. When he turned his head slightly, he touched the soft hair and the cool pinna... Ren Xiaoxu's whole body was hot, only the pinna was cold. It's cold, no matter how you rub it, it won't get hot, and it doesn't seem to be red.

Ren Xiaoxu seldom blushed, and his skin always seemed to glow like white marble.

Gu Jiachen suddenly didn't dare to move.He already realized what kind of posture he was sitting on Ren Xiaoxu's body.His legs were spread apart, stretched into the gap of the chair, and overlapped in a way of sitting and embracing each other. In this posture, he could clearly feel that the part where Ren Xiaoxu did his routine homework every morning was standing stiffly .

The clothes are intact, but the limbs are entangled.They seemed to be embracing like this, sitting all night in the cold smoking room.Gu Jiachen opened his eyes wide, as if he didn't want to believe that they sat in this place for a whole night in such a ridiculous way.He remembered that Ren Xiaoxu was here to smoke, so he followed in, wanting to hug Ren Xiaoxu.He recalled some things between them, he seemed to reflect on himself, and then... Did he fall asleep?Actually fell asleep?

How could it be possible, the surroundings were obviously still dark.He probably just took a nap, after all, it was too late at night when he came.But the sky outside the window turned white in an instant, as if the blinds were drawn, and the golden sunlight shone in like that, shining on the wall facing Ren Xiaoxu's back.The first rays of sunlight in the morning leave neat shadows on the pink and white walls.Gu Jiachen's eyes were stinging, he blinked, and a tear fell, just falling into Ren Xiaoxu's collar.

Gu Jiachen felt the arms around him tighten, Ren Xiaoxu's voice was hoarse and low as if he was still asleep, but he asked very clearly: "What's wrong?"

Gu Jiachen's body came to life as if the earth had rejuvenated, he moved his head away from Ren Xiaoxu's shoulder, and put his body a little distance away from him, saying, "It's nothing, the sun hurts the eyes."

Ren Xiaoxu gently held the back of his head, stroked his tough hair, his eyes were like autumn water, and his voice was like an orchestra:

"You fell asleep."

"Huh? I... I fell asleep for some reason."

"you are too tired."

"You just hugged me like this all night? Why don't you..." Why don't you hug me back to bed?Sleep comfortably without being sore all over.Gu Jiachen wanted to ask this question, but the last half of the sentence melted into Ren Xiaoxu's eyes.

"This is good." He stroked Gu Jiachen's hair.

Gu Jiachen's nose turned sour for no reason, and he was so touched that he wanted to cry for no reason.He stretched out his hand to help Ren Xiaoxu rub his shoulders, feeling a little at a loss:

"Shoulders must be sore like this! What about your waist? Is your waist sore? Let me massage for you..."

The sun was shining brightly like a white moth.If you look closely, you can see the dust floating in the light.Ren Xiaoxu's side face was soaked in the sunlight, like a statue.The temperature is gradually rising, Gu's limbs are not as cold as last night.He lowered his head to look at Ren Xiaoxu's face, time seemed to have stopped, a century or longer.Actually only a few seconds.Time is a wonderful thing, in just one night, his heart seemed to be less full of desolate pain than last night.

Last night, facing Tao Yuyue's pale face, the pain overflowed like a tide, spreading and destroying a large area of ​​land.But now, the pain has dissipated like an ebb tide, and human activities have begun on the ruins, slowly cleaning up, rebuilding, and restoring the previous buildings, which seem to be the same as before, but slightly different.Last night was a hurdle, everyone was shocked, terrified, and exhausted, but they persisted, as if if they survived last night, everyone would survive, Tao Yuyue, Ren Xiaoxu, himself, Ren Xiaohuai... everyone.

Gu Jiachen regained his strength, worked hard to help Ren Xiaoxu massage his shoulder and waist muscles, got up from him, and rubbed his thighs with both hands to promote blood circulation.Ren Xiaoxu looked at him without saying a word, occasionally shaking his hand or touching his face.In the distance came the sound of hurried footsteps, from far to near, short and powerful.Gu Jiachen suddenly felt a chill behind his back.

Shen's footsteps.

He hid in a corner almost reflexively.Ren Xiaoxu stood up at that moment and straightened his clothes.

"Don't be afraid." Gu Jiachen heard him whisper in his ear, and he stretched out a hand to him, as if inviting Gu Jiachen to join his life and continue the journey with him.

"Don't be afraid, come with me."