i'm not human

When Kong Yan woke up, Cang Li was no longer there, and he vaguely heard the sound of cooking coming from the direction of the kitchen. He seriously reflected on himself, has his life been too depraved recently?I really managed to stretch out my clothes, stretch out my hands, and open my mouth, as if I was disabled.

No, it can't be like this again, the next time Cang Li wants to put clothes and shoes on him, he must firmly refuse.

But isn't Cang Li's hobby a little strange?Aren't only little girls passionate about dressing and combing Barbie dolls?Imagine Cang Li wearing a pink tutu skirt, Kong Yan with toothpaste foam in his mouth, almost choking himself.

The picture is too horrifying, I really dare not think about it!

After brushing his teeth quickly, Kong Yan yawned and looked in the mirror. He saw the deep and shallow red marks on his neck. He silently pulled up his collar and barely covered it up.Sure enough, it is full of warmth and lust, too depraved.I am obviously the flower of the motherland and the hope of tomorrow, but now I am completely reduced to Cang Li's lunch.

But what about enjoying it?I've been corrupted by this life...

Walking out of the bedroom door, it was a sunny day outside.Since entering April, Nanling has been shrouded in smog, with light rain every day, making it extremely humid.It was rare to see the sun today, Kong Yan stood in the sun and thought for a while, and felt that to change himself, he had to start working hard every day!So I happily took the shower water bottle and prepared to water the flowers and plants in the yard.

Ever since Cang Li bought the courtyard next door to the Kong family, Kong Yan has hardly been back there.The former owner of the yard was obviously a lover of raising flowers and playing with birds. Although the entire house had not been lived in for a long time, the flower stands in the corner were still very luxuriant, and a small pool was built in the southeast corner, and lotus flowers were planted in it.Kong Yan removed the weeds in the yard, trimmed the branches, and the whole yard became pleasing to the eye again.

There's no way, he's just so capable, he's a master at housework.

But this is Cang Li's new potted plant?Kong Yan held the kettle and looked at the unfamiliar white flowerpot in front of him. The plants inside were about one meter high, with lush branches and leaves, and no flowers, but they felt fresh.Anyway, they were all green plants, so he poured a little water on them, and the plants suddenly moved!

The kettle in Kong Yan's hand fell to the ground with a bang, and the splashed water wet the shoe.He looked at the swaying plants in front of him, and shouted in his heart, "Cang Li, there are monsters in our house!"

——No, I seem to want to be a demon too?

The plant seemed to realize that Kong Yan was seriously frightened, so it quickly got up from the flower pot, lay down on the side and shook the soil, and the mud slag fell down.Only then did Kong Yan see clearly that the flower pot was actually a ginseng plant, the root was almost human-shaped, and the green leaves on top of the head looked a little cute.

I'm really crazy, I think it's cute... And this plant has already crawled out!He even shook the mud himself!Kong Yan felt that he was not well.Then I saw the ginseng standing by the side of the flowerpot, with its head covered with leaves, "Sister-in-law, I'm Shen Ren!"

Hearing the familiar voice, Kong Yan calmed down a little, leaned over to take a closer look, a little surprised, "Huh? Shen Ren?" Then he remembered, isn't Shen Ren the essence of ginseng.

Seeing the ginseng walking back and forth on the edge of the flowerpot in front of him, Kong Yan blinked, feeling a little dazed.

"Yes, I am Shen Ren, but this is my reduced body." Seeing that Kong Yan finally recovered, Shen Ren explained, "Didn't the boss move here to live with you, so we all moved with you?" The boss was stingy and wouldn't let me bring my piece of land with me, so I had to take a flower pot and put a little bit of my own soil over here, and I'll live on it from now on."

Originally, he pretended to be pitiful without any trace, so that Kong Yan could blow the "pillow wind" or something in front of the boss, so that his "bed" could be wider. It's best to move here.The air in Nanling is humid, which is great!

But he didn't know if he was too indistinct, or if the other party didn't receive his brainwaves at all, Shen Ren heard Kong Yan ask him curiously, "You said you all moved here, so Li Yu and Mu Dianmo are still here?" Where is Qin Zheng? Why didn't you see it?"

Before Shen Ren could answer, there was a burst of water splashing. Kong Yan tilted his head and saw a carp floating above the water in a small pond in the southeast corner, defying physical gravity and biological characteristics. His voice was cheerful, "Look and see." Come here! I'm here!"

Kong Yan: "..." Where is the lotus in the pool?

Shen Ren explained on the side, "Li Yu brought his own water and occupied the small pond. Mu Dianmo was hanging himself on the pen holder in the study, dangling. Qin Zheng seemed to be wiping the water on the roof. Sword, oh, he cast an invisibility enchantment, otherwise it would be easy to be complained by neighbors. Once before, he also wiped the sword on the roof, and even attracted fire trucks. Don't move around on the roof, and don't be afraid, he will be rescued safely."

So from then on, in order not to cause a commotion, Qin Zheng had to add an invisibility enchantment to the roof.

Kong Yan was immersed in the thought of "the number of permanent residents in my home has increased, and the painting style is so magical", when he felt his mobile phone start to vibrate in various ways.When I clicked on WeChat, I found that the news in the "Mountain and Sea is my home" discussion group passed by so fast, the speed of swiping the screen.

I'm the one whose bed is too small: "Xiao Yanyan's neck is full of red marks, the battle is fierce!"

I am a fish in too shallow water: "Yes, yes, spring is here, and the boss is no longer the boss of winter!"

I'm a pen that's too short: "Well, I'm not the boss of Autumn either."

The name of the sword is not broken: "Yes."

Kong Yan read the following chat records, and after serious consideration, he decided to pretend he didn't see these chat messages. After all, "spring is here" or something, it's really shameful|shameful!

But when will they realize that they are also in this discussion group?

After pouring the water, feeling that a great event had been accomplished, Kong Yan went to the kitchen with his slippers on, happily preparing to find someone.Entering the kitchen, I saw Cang Li wearing a pink apron cooking soup, and there was a mysterious contrast between the smoke.Sure enough, the man who cooks is the most handsome!He hugged the man's waist from behind, and rubbed his face, "What soup are you having today?" The voice of Shang Cangli softened unconsciously.

Cang Li scooped up a spoonful of soup for him with the spoon she had just used, and fed it to his mouth after blowing on it. Seeing that he drank it, she asked him with a smile, "How is it? Is the taste okay?" ?”

Kong Yan tasted it carefully, his eyes brightened, "It's delicious! But what kind of soup is this?" He leaned over to look into the pot, the thick white soup was tumbling, and he couldn't see the ingredients clearly.I always feel mysterious. Is it some kind of magical ingredients, such as Braised Taotie with Pixiu and Bifang with Golden Crow?

Cang Li put the spoon back, "Seahorse pork loin soup."

"Uh, seahorse and pork loin? What's the use of drinking it?"

Cang Li held his hand and turned back, said meaningfully, "Honey, of course it's for your kidneys, you can drink more later."

Kong Yan's ears became hot instantly, and he stared sullenly at Cang Li, feeling that he could really break up with him!Break up 99 years!One year can't be less, this day can't be passed!

But Kong Yan, who couldn't get along with Cang Li, happily went out with him in the afternoon, leaving a ginseng tree and a fish looking at each other in the yard.Li Yuchang sighed, "Oh——, human beings are so unbelievable! What about breaking up with the boss?" I thought I could watch an annual emotional drama!

Shen Ren nodded, and the green leaves all over his head rattled, "Oh, men are fickle!" After a moment of daze, he silently prepared to crawl back into his flowerpot to take a nap.

The flowerpot, though small, is also a bed.

Li Yu patted his fins next to him, looked at his small flower pot, and then at his own very small pond, suddenly kind, "Old man, don't go back to the flower pot , Come to sleep in my pool! The place is spacious and you can take a bath, but you are covered in dirt, so dirty." After finishing speaking, I feel that I am especially loved by my colleagues!

Shen Ren's movement of climbing the flowerpot was suddenly stuck, and he turned around to look at the fish with round eyes in some horror, his heart tightened, and he refused very simply, "I'm really not interested in you! Although we are colleagues , I have known each other for a long time, and I know each other very well. However, whether it is a long-term relationship or a one-night stand, I have no idea! We are different in land and water, and we are animals and plants, and there is no future for us to be together."

After finishing the righteous speech, the ginseng was directly turned into the flowerpot with its green leaves on top, and the back was absolutely determined.

Li Yu: "?" What did I just say that made him think of a whole TV series?

Cang Li and Kong Yan, who had already gone out, didn’t know what happened at home. Kong Yan ate too much at noon and hadn’t digested it yet, so he took Cang Li to walk to the vegetable market and resolutely refused to drive. It can also save energy and reduce emissions.It's just that he obviously forgot that after returning from the ancient city of Suosha, his appearance has improved a few steps.

After coming out of Yinfeng Lane, before they had gone far, the two of them were stopped by several girls to add WeChat. The other party blushed and asked them if they were male stars who just debuted, and if they had acted in any TV series. She glanced at them shyly.

Kong Yan: "..."

Cang Li's face was dark the whole time, and he felt breathless - I was still standing beside him!That's my little birdie!mine!

Finally, when a man came to Kong Yan asking for his contact information, Cang Li couldn't stand it any longer. He pulled him into the car, put on his seat belt seriously, and said coldly, "Take the car, or go home."

Kong Yan touched his face, knowing that he was at fault this time, so he sat down obediently, but was a little helpless, "Then what should I do when I go out in the future? Should I be fully armed, with sunglasses, a mask and a peaked cap?" Then he went out to withdraw money, and others Do you feel like you are going to rob a bank and call the police directly?Then Cang Li has to go to the police station to bring him back?

The picture feels like the scene where the stern father goes to the police station to pick up the son of the juvenile delinquent.

Cang Li turned the steering wheel, "I will find a way." Glancing at Kong Yan's face, he suddenly complained to that Majesty, why are you so beautiful?It will cause your children and grandchildren's partners to be very distressed!Always feel very insecure!

The point is, I am actually very handsome myself, but I still feel so insecure, so those ordinary-looking people don't have to worry about gains and losses every day?

So I didn't go to the vegetable market, and went directly to a large supermarket with better parking.When Kong Yan got out of the car, he put on a blue medical mask that Cang Li handed over, and spread his bangs to cover it up. At least he could finish shopping in the supermarket without being disturbed.

Standing in front of the shelf, with more than half of the shopping cart full of snacks, Kong Yan waved his hand in satisfaction, "Let's go, buy some meat!" He was getting hungry in the middle of the night recently, and he could eat ten packs of biscuits in one go, so he looked at the contents of the shopping cart , a little worried - I don't know if I can carry it for three days.

When he arrived at the vegetable section, under the pressure of Cang Li, Kong Yan reluctantly bought two handfuls of green vegetables and stuffed them in the corner of the shopping cart, then happily rushed to the place where pork and beef were sold, very proud Diana nana.When I felt that I had enough, I was about to go to the live poultry area after paying the bill, and when I went back to let Cang Li make fried chicken, I glanced at the shopping cart and suddenly felt something was wrong——Hey, where is the meat I put in it? ?

Seeing him staring at the shopping cart without moving for a long time, an aunt who picked ribs next to him kindly told him, "Young man, are you looking for the meat you took? Your brother put it back! You take it in front, and your brother is behind Put them back next to each other, you brothers are really fun! But the tenderloin you chose is pretty good, if you don’t want it back, I’ll buy it back!”

Hehe, what about the promise of obedience and obedience?

At this time, in the fruit area not far away, the aunt who was weighing next to him had already noticed this tall and handsome man, and she was very enthusiastic, "Do you want to buy fruit for your wife?"

Cang Li nodded, hesitating what to buy.Yan Yan has been too picky eaters recently, and only eats meat and no fruits and vegetables. Humans are so nutritionally unbalanced, right?I feel really broken.

Auntie froze when she saw him nodding. Originally, she just wanted to test it out, but she didn't expect to get married. There is no fate. It seems that her niece and daughter are out of play.But just looking at this man's face, she was willing to say a few more words.

"My wife wants to use it for pain. This jujube has a lot of vitamins. It is good for your health if you eat it! The kiwi fruit is also rich in nutrition. One is better than several others, and it is made in foreign countries. It costs dozens of dollars a catty. Not expensive! Men just want to be willing to part with their wives! And..."

So when Kong Yan pushed the cart full of anger to find Cang Li, he found that the other party had bought a whole shopping cart of fruit and was weighing and labeling it.

Looking at the lush green vegetables and a lot of fruits, life is so unrequited, life is dark!

When he got back to the car, Kong Yan was very depressed.Originally, if I didn't want to buy pork, I could still buy live poultry!Chicken drumsticks are also delicious!But before he reached the live poultry area, all the chickens and ducks were so frightened that they retreated to the innermost part of the cage. The chicken and duck claws were firmly gripping the cage, and they couldn't be pulled out no matter what.

Seeing the salesperson in the supermarket looking at him with the expression "Brother, you are so powerful, these chickens are afraid of you", Kong Yan didn't feel like staying any longer, so he took Cang Li and left.

Ever since they got the white tail feathers of His Majesty, the little birds have already flown away before he got close.Cang Li said it was because Kong Yan already had the aura of the demon god's blood on him, so ordinary birds would be afraid of his aura.

After Kong Yan found out, he was silent for a long time, and finally changed his WeChat name to "Qianshanniaofeijue".

The author has something to say: "Mountains and seas are my home" discussion group

Qianshan Bird Flying Jue: "From then on, I never saw a bird again."

Are you afraid that Lord Dragon is here: "I have! Yanyan come and see the big bird!"

I am a stunned fish: "I have never seen such a dirty dragon in my life!"

I was the stunned participant: "The boss finally revealed his true face as a beast!"

I was stunned by the pen: "Ginger is still old and spicy!"

The name of the sword is not broken: "It's all a routine!"