that love, that youth

Zeng Xiaowu suddenly said that he would go to the attached middle school, because some good buddies asked him to go to the party.I thought he would be back soon, but to my surprise, one day, two days, three days.Does the party take this long?

I ran to his class for the first time to ask if he had come back, and saw a stack of neatly stacked letters in the hole in his desk.

letter?These are the letters he receives every Monday. These letters lie neatly in the table hole, as if they have been carefully cared for by the owner. Every letter is opened so carefully that there is not even a little damage. Xiaoshi's letter has never been so careful.

I left wondering, until he waited until I was exhausted, I suddenly wanted to read his letter on a whim.

Taking advantage of my lunch break, I swaggered through his classroom and walked to his seat in the last row.He opened the table hole and carefully took out the letters.

These letters gave me an image of a beautiful girl named Xiaoya.Her handwriting is delicate and meaningful, and her letters are full of affection. She should be a talented woman who has read poetry and books. In her letters, I am like a clown, standing there awkwardly listening to the two of them laughing and laughing. A name is there, and there is no soul, flesh and blood, as if it will always be a third party between him and her.

He wrote two lines on the back of a letter: She is tall, with mysterious eyes, my eternal confidante.

These letters, especially these words, gave me a bottle of old vinegar. I was angry, resentful, and painful, and at the same time I hoped that the damn Zeng Xiaowu would come back soon, and then I would use all my strength to fight for my love. Justice.

But he seems to have evaporated from the world. The few days of waiting made me settle all my anger. The only hope left is for him to come back soon. This kind of day makes me lack of oxygen, and I feel like a Titanic that hit an iceberg, wandering On the verge of sinking.

These days, the number of times I went to Zeng Xiaowu's class was more than the total number of times in this year.

One day at noon, Ah Xiang from his dormitory was waiting in front of my door and said he wanted to find me.He treated me to tomato and egg noodles, and I asked him what he could do for me.

He said, Zeng Xiaowu is not as good as you imagined.

So what does he look like?

It turned out that you were the one he told me the most.

What now?

not you.

Xiaoya?

You know, you know you still.

What did he say about Xiaoya?

He said she was his confidante.

He said she was very understanding.

He said that a girl like her is worth cherishing for a lifetime.

If so, why did you tell me?Aren't you good brothers?In this way, do you want me to break up with him or just try to betray my brother.

Why are you staring, what am I plotting, isn't it for your own good?

Can I need you for me?

I left angrily.why?Does this kind of thing lose face when it comes out of other people's mouths?Can Zeng Xiaowu see other girls as confidantes?Isn't it a good thing for people to tell you?He even gave someone the label of betraying his brother. Is a man who is in love with others worth working hard to protect?

I went back to find Ah Xiang.

I said sorry.

He smiled and touched the back of his head and said, I'm sorry.I just have to say these words, and I feel panicked if I don’t.

Yes, just from the perspective of justice, if you don’t speak out, you will feel uncomfortable if you don’t speak out.what about me?What about the parties?

On the seventh day, Zeng Xiaowu came back.On a sunny afternoon, he appeared in front of my eyes, pulled me to run gently on the campus, and I saw his smile again, these pure smiles blocked my mouth, those resentful outbursts, I couldn't even say a word.

When I study by myself next night, I wait on the playground.Standing alone at the entrance, looking up at the summer moon, if there is no girl named Xiaoya, how happy the moon is tonight.

Zeng Xiaowu came, bringing with him the smell of cigarettes, which was mixed with a touch of sadness.That kind of sadness is like an endless time, with no front, no future, no head and no brain.

He said, He Tiantian, there are some things that others can get easily, but even if I try my best, it will be in vain.

"For example."

"love"

"Is it mine?"

Zeng Xiaowu turned his head and smiled wryly, perhaps he realized that I was not a suitable listener for such a topic.So he turned the subject and said of course.

I was very sad, but when I heard what he said so resolutely, I felt a lot of sadness in my heart.Reluctant to say breakup, but willing to cheat, this kind of love should be happy or worrying.

The name Xiaoya came to mind.

I said, who is Xiaoya?

He was a little stunned, paused for a while and said, junior high school classmate.

Are your words in vain?

No, don't think about it.

I didn't think about it, I read your letter from beginning to end, and I think I understand something.

I think I am the most tenable person, because it is the greatest injustice to me to do something that I should not do without telling me. In the face of this injustice, anyone should bow their heads and admit their mistakes.So I said it outright.

But the fact is that Zeng Xiaowu was furious like never before. He condemned me fiercely, saying that I had violated his privacy, that I had failed his respect, and that I had insulted Xiaoya's trust in him.

About the letter, about Xiaoya, became the ignition point for detonating explosives, and we had an unprecedented quarrel.

After the quarrel, I was very sad.I ordered myself, from now on Xiao Lang is a passerby.This determination was made, but what followed was endless pain.

The whole person, from every strand of hair to every toe, is experiencing pain. They are sad. Sad that I fell in love with a half-hearted bastard. , I am sad that my love is still in full swing but it has encountered a snowstorm that has not happened in a century.

That night, Wei Wei told me that Ah Xiang asked me to tell you that Zeng Xiaowu got into a fight with someone because of a woman, and the person who was beaten was badly injured, and he hid for several days before he dared to come out.

Someone told me that the rose garden is beautiful.So I came here, taking advantage of the night, full of excitement, joy and even the name of rebellion, but before I wade into that beauty, I was already covered in thorns.

These thorns pierced straight into the heart.

The author has something to say:

To love or not to love is the question.

Laner also faced it.

How would you choose when the beautiful dream-like love turned into a dilapidated or even depressed path?