Sickly self-speaking

Dear girls, did you sleep well last night?

I didn't sleep well, my eyes were a little swollen, don't ask me why.

Today I want to tell you my story, the beginning of the story may be really happy...

how to say?

I told everyone yesterday that I met him at a gay bar. When I walked in front of him, he was surprised, maybe my height scared him, but he calmed down soon.I invited him to sit at the bar and ordered him a cocktail that was beautifully colored and tasted like lime, just like he smelled.

Afterwards, the two of us chatted very happily. I even forgot that I was still in the gay bar, and I never thought about what it meant to strike up a conversation like this.He looked at me very seriously, I think he should have a smile on his face at that time, he must have liked me a little bit since then.

To be honest, my performance that day looked really bad.

Like that cocktail, which I order when I'm dating a woman, even though I really think it's a good match for him.

When I asked him for his contact information, I didn't know what I was going to do.But he seemed happy at the time.

We chatted until very late, and finally he left first because he said he had a class tomorrow.Before leaving, he asked me to go back early, just as if he was the teacher and I was the student, even though it was true.

(But you can't spend as long outside as I do, especially girls.)

Not long after he left, I went back to my friends. When I went back, I found that almost every one of them had a companion. Looking at the little Ling next to them, I left feeling a little uncomfortable. They also seemed anxious resistance.

On the way back, I squeezed the note in my hand, and couldn't help but put it on my nose and smell it, as if I could still smell the faint lime scent.

Unfortunately, that note is long gone now.

After returning to the residence, I didn't do anything, and went to sleep normally.

It's impossible for you to think that I will call my Qionghua as soon as I go back, right?Don't forget we just met!And they just broke up!Don't overthink it, girls.

Then the next day, I rarely went to school for a morning class.

Well, in fact, I lied to you when I told you that I didn’t do anything after returning to my residence. I asked someone to find out Qionghua’s class schedule for me.

The morning class I'm going to take is Qionghua's class. First of all, I have to admit that I didn't like Qionghua at that time.As for the reason for paying so much attention to Qionghua...

For me now, the reason is a little hard to tell, a little embarrassing, and even feel a little dirty!Really, sometimes I wish I could strangle myself at that time, I actually, actually approached my Qionghua with that kind of mentality.How could I, I'm such a jerk!asshole!

……

I'm so sorry girls, I'm really emotionally unstable sometimes.

What did you say just now?oh!The reason is right?

In fact, the reason is very simple. I just want to play with men because I have had enough of women, but I feel disgusted by other men. It just so happens that there is such a person who I am not disgusted with but is still interested in. How could I not have fun!

I know some of you will scold me, and I hope one of you scolding me is my Qionghua.

When I was in class, um... Looking back, my Qionghua was so pretty at that time. The sunlight outside the window in the early morning hit Qionghua's body, making him very warm.The voice during lectures is also soft and clean.

It's embarrassing, I fell asleep in his class, I can't help it, even in the current environment, I can comfortably squint my eyes in retrospect.

Originally, my Qionghua didn't notice me in class, but all the students like to look at him in his class, the kind of lewd! (This is one of the reasons I hate him going to work)

Maybe I said "sexy" a bit too much, but you think about it, how obvious it is that all the heads are looking at him, and I just fell asleep lying there alone!

He came up to me and woke me up, and hit me on the head with a book, very lightly, but it made me dizzy.

He seemed to recognize me and smiled softly when talking to me.He taught me a lesson and returned to the podium.Then I just put my head on my hands and watched one of his classes.

After class, I followed him all the way to his office.After he sat down, he looked up as if looking at me, and then asked me what's the matter in a teacher's tone.

At that time, I didn't know what the tension in front of him was, but I said to him shyly like a kid: I want to invite the teacher to dinner.He agreed.

I think he should be smiling very happy at that time, because I can feel it.Although five years have passed, as long as it is about him, I can't forget it even if I want to.

I invited my Qionghua to dinner, and my Qionghua would naturally want to invite her back, so we kept getting closer and closer like this.During that time, I went to Qionghua's home, where I ate the first meal he cooked for me, and it was delicious.

Hmm... My mouth is watering just thinking about it now. You should know that what I eat now is to replenish the energy my body needs.

Back to business.Ever since I ate the food made by Qionghua, I went to his house every day for a meal, and then I didn't know which day it was, I just went to his bed.

Don't think about it too much, I didn't have the mind to fall in love with a man at that time.

Very simple!We are just chatting under the quilt! …Well, I admit that I touched him, and his skin is smooth and comfortable.

Later, I got closer and closer to him, and my friends often used him to make some harmless jokes on me.I didn't take those jokes seriously.

The accident happened one night. That night, an old friend I hadn’t seen for a long time was in a certain nightclub to reminisce about old times.That old friend of mine had a lot of fun, and just happened to adopt an actor, and that actor was being pampered, so I took that old friend with me wherever he went.

Later, when he drank too much, he told me how exciting it is for men to play.At first I didn’t drink much and I just listened to it. In the end, my sanity was really a little unclear. Just then my Qionghua called and asked me if I still wanted to go to his house (during that time, I was always at Qionghua’s house) Sleep well), I said goodbye to my friend unsteadily, and at the same time rejected some kind of kindness from him.

When I arrived at Qionghua's house, my Qionghua had just taken a shower. I always felt that it was really not my fault that night, but my Qionghua was too attractive. I was paralyzed by alcohol, but I still I clearly remember how my Qionghua moaned and groaned under my body.

Qionghua was very obedient that night, and I was greatly satisfied physically and mentally that night.

After Qionghua woke up, she didn't cry and make a fuss, she got up very quietly (it's hard to believe that he can still get up), and prepared breakfast for me.

At that time, I still had a bit of conscience. Looking at his back busy in the kitchen, I silently walked behind him and hugged him, burying my head in his neck.I told him I would be responsible, and he turned around and buried himself in my arms.

My Qionghua doesn't know at all, I'm just playing a game, a game called love...

Having said that, I think it is necessary to let you know something about my past.

My family is very rich, and I have never lacked anything since I was a child. Material things gradually could not satisfy me, so when I was in...um...probably high school, I don’t remember clearly, anyway, there was a little girl in the class at that time Confessed to me, I thought it was very interesting, so I agreed to the girl's confession.That girl is very nice to me, and she depends on me in everything. Apart from being jealous, I am quite satisfied with her.

But I gradually felt that she was not as interesting as it was at the beginning, why should I keep things that are not interesting.We broke up, and after we broke up, I found that I actually thought that the girl after the breakup seemed to be interesting again.

I am never tired of this kind of game, and I think there is nothing wrong with it. After all, my marriage is not up to me. Rather than falling in love with someone who shouldn't be, it's better not to have ever liked someone.

I know you will call me a coward, but I should have been tempted by Qionghua at that time, but I just don't want to admit it.

Let's come back and continue.After we are together, it can be said that we are sticky all day long. I can't believe it. I am like a person suffering from skin hunger. As long as I am by his side, I always want to touch him, even if I can only hook him. Hook your fingers.

When I think about that time, I always feel that I am going to cry with happiness.

He is very used to me, he will give me whatever I want, and he doesn't seem to have any temper with me.But his pampering made me want more and more.

Cough, let's get here today!My doctor is coming soon, and I don't want him to see me telling you stories, even if he suggested it.

By the way, I'm going to write a diary later, don't laugh at me, I didn't have this habit, but since my Qionghua left me, my memory is not very good, except for Qionghua's matter , others are always easy to forget, I feel that I may be a little old.The doctor will also read my diary, and sometimes I really don't like that doctor, but I can't do anything about her.

.........

732 days since you left:

Still the same as before, I woke up before 5 o'clock, lay in bed for a while, and got up.

Going to work, I forgot to eat breakfast again.

After get off work, have lunch.

I went to work and scolded the company staff (their efficiency is really getting lower and lower).

After get off work, when you get home, you have to say to "Qinghua": I'm back, I didn't go out to fool around.

Go into the study to work on some papers and make myself a cup of coffee.

eat (ordered takeaway)

When I received a call from my parents, I was in a bad mood.

I told the girls the story of me and Qionghua, and I felt a little better.

ps: My Qionghua still hasn't come home.

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