aftershock

Under Jiang Yuan's strong request, Brother Tony neutralized the opinions of the two and cut out a delicate balance. His semi-formed board size is obviously much better than Lin Ze's. The sides are thinner, soft, bright and dark His hair was cut short, which added to his thin face after recovering from the illness. He smiled generously with bright eyes and phoenix eyes. He was really good-looking and handsome. Uncle Xu looked at him many times, with an expression like is very satisfied.

But Lin Ze's treatment was different. Gu Lv glanced over his face and looked back at him. Lin Ze touched the back of his head flattered, "What's the matter... Mr. Gu..."

"..." Gu Lv didn't speak, Jiang Yuan couldn't help laughing, "I said, to make a person progress, he must civilize his spirit, and barbaric his body, hair is also a part of the body, I just don't know Secretary Lin wants to be barbaric whose spirit."

Lin Ze glared at him, then whispered, "Is this hairstyle bad?"

"It's bad."

Lin Ze immediately continued, "Then I won't go to the capital to embarrass Jiang He?"

Gu Lv looked at him with a half-smile, turned around and walked indoors, "Throw it away."

National Day plus Mid-Autumn Festival, the holidays are not short, Jiang Yuan can always find a lot of unexpected things in Gu Lv, for example, he thought that Gu Lv should at least not be very good at construction, but whenever Jiang Yuan relied on reviewing the construction site meeting minutes during the hospitalization When inferring the progress of the project and existing problems remotely, Gu Lv can always find out the most critical problems at the side. Basically, it left room for Jiang Yuan to think. If he said too much, it would really make people who graduated from the University of Architecture quite embarrassing.

Jiang Yuan's thinking always stays on the idea that the three elements of "quality, safety, and progress" are the main control elements of the project. Gu Lv shook his head. Jiang Yuan was surprised that he and the company's engineering department had the same opinion, thinking that only " "Progress" is the top priority, and quality is the responsibility of the quality supervision department. As for safety, it is almost meaningless from a macro perspective.When he was talking about these things, his voice was cold and weak, and his order was a little unreasonable.For Jiang Yuan, "safety" and "quality" are constantly improving, and problems will continue to exist, so rectification is necessary, it will take time, and the progress will not be achieved.

"In terms of management and control points, there should be no human factor influence."

"Shouldn't the safety of the personnel be considered?"

"Look where you are"

"my position?"

Gu Lu rubbed his finger against his ear, wanting to relax the serious person, "Don't you know to sign a safety agreement? You are exempt from liability."

Nothing can be exempted. Jiang Yuan always believes that since he is in charge of a project manager, he should put everyone's safety first. He has a different perspective from Gu Lv. As an investor in an enterprise, he really only needs to consider the progress , but his own way of thinking is different. As a manager, he should stand on the same side as Gu Lv, but he can't be that objective and completely indifferent, which is contradictory.

The reason he likes butterflies is because he doesn't have to bear any responsibilities in this society.But now that he is playing a role in this human fireworks, he will worry about whether others think he is not good enough because this responsibility is related to others.This is also the reason why he will never be able to become a real leader like Liang Ji and Gu Lv.

His structure is not big enough, or he is not cold-blooded enough, his character, his nerves make him unable to see the world clearly, nor can he take the world lightly. He will never let himself go, for fear that others will be wronged because of him. , To put it nicely is called kindness, but to be honest, it is actually selfish.

He doesn't want to take any responsibility related to himself, doesn't want to be moved, doesn't want to owe others, tries hard to be nice to people but doesn't want to become friends with anyone.

By becoming friends, he has yet another role to play.too tired.

"Mr. Gu, someone is looking for you."

It's not that Jiang Yuan didn't know that Gu Lv was looking at him, when Uncle Xu came in to speak, Gu Lv moved his hand next to his face, "Who is it?"

"Say it's Gu."

Gu Lv stood up, and after a while, some sounds came from the room, like a child's voice, sweet and glutinous, Jiang Yuan frowned and closed his laptop.

"Jiang Yuan" After a few minutes, Gu Yi smiled and walked out of the living room in casual clothes. He is obviously a very young man, but every time he sees him, he always has the feeling that he wants to shake hands with you next second. "Gu Yi?" Jiang Yuan stood up, his expression slightly changed in surprise when he saw Gu Lv who was not far away.

With a smile on the corner of Gu Lu's mouth, he lowered his head, letting the little girl hug his legs and smile at him. His left hand was slightly raised, and it was vacantly protecting the girl's head, for fear that the flower stand would touch her.

What is more contrary to being surprised at the inner touch at that moment is jealousy. An emotion like jealousy exploded a flower in a corner of my heart. This is just a little girl. Gu Lv just smiled at her, Jiang Yuan felt that I am crazy.

"Gu Shan, come here quickly, don't pester brother all the time"

Gu Shan squinted her big eyes and ignored it. She jumped down on the spot and grabbed Gu Lv's sleeve. Seeing Gu Lv's faint smile, Jiang Yuan held the little girl's hand and said, " Do you like fruit?"

"Mango!!" So Gu Lv took her, turned around and walked to the kitchen.

Gu Yi hurriedly said, "I'm sorry, Shanshan is too young and ignorant." Jiang Yuan realized his stiff expression when he recovered, "She is very cute."

Gu Yi sat down from the edge of the sofa, he was not good at communication, he just felt that he should say something "Gu Lv likes her very much"

Gu Yi smiled and nodded, "Yeah, little bad girl, she has been obsessed with sex since she was a child, and always likes to pester big brother."

"Gu L.. do you often go back?"

"Well.. I will go back occasionally. Grandpa likes big brother, and there will always be many excuses to urge him to go back and have a look." Gu Yi is very educated. When talking, he always looks straight at each other, but he doesn't pay attention Immediately, Uncle Xu came over with tea, he got up to take it, and asked with a smile, "Are you still used to returning to China?"

It was probably a cryptic question about the hospitalization some time ago, and Jiang Yuan would struggle to think of any answer that required brains, so he had to say, "The difference is not very big, I can still get used to it."

At this time, Gu Shan happily ran over with a big orange mango in her arms. She was still happy a second ago. When she saw the person opposite her brother, she became a little cautious. She hugged the mango with both hands like a little lady, and she didn't need to be taught. , obediently called out "Brother Jiang Yuan."

"So nice."

She knew her name, Jiang Yuan was a little stunned, but when he saw Gu Lv behind her, he understood again.The little girl had the same good manners as her brother, and she sat down quietly after Gu Lv was seated.

"Ah, I almost forgot, my eldest brother didn't go back for the Mid-Autumn Festival, so I brought over some holiday things. This year when my great-grandpa passed away, they were all vegetarian. Grandpa and the others believed in Buddhism, saying that it was a vegetarian dish in the temple, so they would be blessed." He said The superstition is very correct, so Gu Lu naturally has no reason not to accept it.

"Go back and help me, thank you grandpa."

"I'll thank my brother! Grandpa likes me the most."

"Okay. Thank you Shanshan." Gu Shan in a small pink and white dress raised her small face, like a sunflower outside the glass. In my impression, Gu Lv was a person who was extremely indifferent. He didn't even have time to hate children, let alone treat a child So patient, but not only did he allow her to hold his hand patiently, he was even willing to cooperate with her childish words.

"Shanshan has been bothering me for a long time, so I can take this opportunity to bring her here, please trouble brother."

"It's ok."

Gu Shan sniffed the mango, put the mango back into the fruit plate, and said in a low voice, "Brother, can I eat it next time?"

"Shanshan, there are so many mangoes at home."

"But brother's is more delicious"

Children can't hide their thoughts. When it comes to the things they like, the people they like are always straightforward and aboveboard, just listen to Gu Lv's response, "Okay, anytime is fine."

When she laughed happily, her round eyes would bend into a strong and gentle parabola, like the tip of a crescent moon, very pretty, Gu Lv liked the way she smiled, it always reminded him of the day when he was sent to the nursing home.The young Jiang Yuan I saw for the first time that day, this little girl had a pair of eyes that were very similar to his when she smiled, with half crescent moons, pure and true.

The innocence in October gradually cooled down, and the temperature difference between morning and evening was getting bigger and bigger. Jiang Yuan would sometimes take a walk on the avenue after dinner, which was usually fine. When Gu Lu was not very busy, he would even follow him He walked together for a while, but recently Uncle Xu caught a cold because of the strong mountain wind and cold wave. He was not only quarantined at home, but even Jiangyuan was canceled from the habit of walking.So the time after dinner became Jiang Yuan's reading time alone. Seeing him sitting downstairs alone flipping through books, Gu Lv asked him to sit with him in the study.

Gu Lu made a lot of video calls, his voice was calm and low, and he felt very comfortable after listening to it for a long time. It was similar to an old vinyl record player, retro and elegant. Jiang Yuan was used to listening to him talking to the computer from time to time, until Gu Lu called him It took him two times to realize that his name was being called.

"Ok?"

Seeing that he tilted his head, Gu Lv paused for a while while typing, "The anniversary of your mother's death has arrived."

Jiang Yuan slowly closed and opened the book, staring at an unknown line, until Gu Lv moved his hand from the keyboard and reminded him again, "Jiang Yuan?"

Jiang Yuan frowned slightly. He was sitting in a dark wooden rocking chair. He stood up from the chair, touched his feet to the ground and stopped shaking, then looked over and said softly, "How do you know?"

"When Liang Ji sent the ashes back, I was there."

Since Gu Lu returned to China when he was a child, Jiang Yuan's mother was in a semi-vegetative state. She lived in a high-rise ward of a nursing home all year round, and was specially cared for by a nurse appointed by Liang Ji.Gu Lv accompanied Jiang Yuan to meet her a few times, she was a little better than a normal vegetable, she had ideology, but was quite dull, she didn't want Jiang Yuan to see her too much, she was a very depressed woman in memory, probably because of depression Too much, she gradually lost the ability to walk since high school, and then almost became a vegetable, hardly speaking, rarely moving, suffering from bed sores all the year round, Jiang Yuan would not be in a good mood every time he saw her back.

Not long after Jiang Yuan left the country, this woman was also sent abroad. Later, there was news that Liang Ji had put her in the Jiang family's cemetery. Speaking of the Jiang family's cemetery...

"You too?"

Gu Lv saw that Jiang Yuan's drooping eyes kept touching the corner of the book with his fingertips. Although he felt that he was a little strange, he just thought it was sad. He responded. Jiang Yuan seemed to take a deep breath softly, and his eyes fell far away. He put his feet back on the chair, and the rocking chair shook silently a few times, and he said softly, "I don't remember..."

Jiang Yuan lay in the chair, but he didn't dare to close his eyes.

He didn't remember the day when Jiang Qing died, but it must not be the date that Gu Lu knew. He also knew that Liang Ji had sent her back to China, but he never asked where she was. He didn't want to ask, and he didn't dare to know.If he can, he still wants to be a fish, a fish that can keep losing his memory. Amnesia is also a talent, but unfortunately he doesn't have it.

Jiang Qing died of apnea syndrome, only very few people know how ridiculous it is.Jiang Yuan looked at his raised hand in the recliner, it was still white, like the same, it was this hand... this hand easily let a life disappear between the fingers.

She died of suffocation, suffocation without a trace.I don't know how Liang Ji classified it as apnea syndrome. Jiang Yuan checked the information and found that her symptoms had nothing to do with this long cause of death.He couldn't forget the expression on her body that was frozen for a second after her soul left, her big mouth, stiff facial muscles, wide eyes and protruding eyeballs, as if she couldn't close her eyes, ah, couldn't close her eyes.

When he first arrived in Canada, Liang Ji was afraid that his mental state would get worse, and he was also worried that Jiang Qing would not be well taken care of in China.So put the two of them together.

The Jiang Qing in Jiang Yuan's memory was a kind and gentle woman, she was slightly fat, loved to laugh, and was kind to others.Her hands are a bit rough, but very soft. She will tell herself many stories with good endings, coax herself to sleep, and tell many empty truths about life, which makes people confused.

The skinny and gloomy Jiang Qing is no longer what she used to be, she can't speak, the only forgiveness for her in the world is to let her have some emotions to vent, but she is stingy to express.Jiang Yuan got into her bed and held her hand.The sluggish nerves could only make her struggle slightly, and the quilt was full of the smell of disinfectant. At that time, her bed sores were already very serious, so whenever Jiang Yuan went to see those wounds, her eyes were always flustered.

"mother"

In Jiang Yuan's world, the word "father" does not exist, and even the pronunciation of "mother" is so unfamiliar that it needs nostalgia.

He lay beside her, leaning on her neck, and began to tell her a lot of stories, about him and Gu Lv, about the years they were together, why he came to Canada, and the stories that happened , those bloody, those ruined futures, those secret sweetnesses, those unbearable shames, those... things that cannot be told to anyone.

He needs to be understood, he needs to be comforted, and he needs a mother.

He didn't know that he really forgot that Jiang Qing was just unable to speak, not deaf. Jiang Qing's reaction made Jiang Yuan feel a little happy and satisfied.

Tears flowed from her cloudy eyes, her tightly pursed lips trembled, and she made an inexplicable sound. She seemed to use all her strength to hold onto Jiang Yuan's finger bones. Whenever Jiang Yuan approached, she would Want to catch him, desperately.

Jiang Yuan thought, she loves him.

It should be similar to the childhood with no memory, it should be Jiang Qing who loved her mother so much, instead of rejecting him, silently driving him away, and treating him indifferently in the next ten years.

It's a pity that his mother is only willing to love him for a few days.During the period when he was in the worst state, Jiang Yuan often didn't want to take the medicine given by the doctor. Those medicines always made him have a poor memory like fragments, and he was prone to fall into deep sleep. Once he fell asleep, what would happen in his dream? It's all horrible, and he hates sleeping.

He was always clinging to Jiang Qing, relying on her like a spiritual pillar. He scrubbed and cleaned her body, moved her joints, combed her hair, and taking care of Jiang Qing seemed to be the only thing he could do without being so free.

But Jiang Qing still didn't give him a lot of time.

Jiang Qing kept refusing to take care of her, and there was more disappointment and unreconciled despair in her eyes than sadness, and Jiang Yuan began to avoid such eyes.She didn't want to eat, didn't want to move, she always crooked the breathing tube, spit out the medicine, rubbed the wound with powder and blood everywhere, let herself be infected continuously and didn't accept Jiang Yuan approaching.

Jiang Yuan thought for a long time before realizing, ah, it turned out that she wanted to die.

It doesn't necessarily mean that she wants to die, maybe she just doesn't want to see him, doesn't want him anymore, he still washes her up as usual, Jiang Qing still always intentionally knocks the basin over him.Jiang Yuan changed clothes three times that day, finally sighed wearily, and put the wet towel in her hand.

"You don't want me anymore." Repeated visceral infections made his body overwhelmed, but he was unwilling to leave Jiang Qing. Only by Jiang Qing's side did he feel that there were people related to him in the world, although... Although she Don't want him anymore.

He lay beside Jiang Qing's bed, half asleep and half awake, and saw Jiang Qing struggling to move her arms, trying to reach the wet towel on the cabinet beside her, but her strength was too weak.

Jiang Yuan handed it to her, she looked at Jiang Yuan, Jiang Yuan really didn't want to see such sad and sad eyes, so when Jiang Qing put the cloth on his face, Jiang Yuan felt very sad. calm.

He was still lying on the bed, not sure if it was the water on the towel or Jiang Qing was crying again, he looked at the traces of water drops, and played back the scene of his childhood in his mind, Jiang Qing held his hand in the hot summer Get off at the bus stop, smile and ask him if he is hot, then take out a slightly yellowed but scented handkerchief to wipe his forehead, then wipe the sweat from his face and neck, and then send him to class, Hand it over to the teacher, she will squat down halfway, reach out to touch half of her face, and say softly, "Mom is gone, goodbye Xiaoyuan"

Jiang Qing's legs wrapped in the quilt kicked violently a few more times, she couldn't make a sound, the white wet towel on her face was too thick, if she tried to raise her hand, she would be able to take it off, but she didn't , she clenched the fist by her side, shaking her body firmly, Jiang Yuan stretched out his hand to hold it, it was still so warm and soft.He was lying there, holding Jiang Qing's hand, she used so much force that her nails were deeply embedded in the back of her hand, and after a long, long time, she slowly relaxed.

All the sirens blew at the same time, Jiang Yuandong did not move, as if he didn't hear anything, and seemed to be concentrating on catching some sound.

Jiang Yuan felt that if her soul was free at this moment, she should at least say to him, "Mom is gone, goodbye Xiao Yuan."

But he never heard it.

So he never wanted to forgive her in his life.