door of eternal life

[The text of this chapter: 12 years of hard work turned into a sigh.Misty waves are vast, and letters are hard to find. In the tune of Acacia Red Bean, is it the sadness of parting, or the lingering affection in my heart.It was a trick of fate, he wanted to bury it all. 】

After eating lunch quickly, Qing came to Zilan's room, looked at her sister's face, and realized what was wrong. Zilan's eyes were a little red and swollen, and her nose was red from blowing. She had just cried.Qing thought about it, and there have been similar things before, her sister was broken in love.

He poured Zilan a cup of hot milk, put it on the table, and sat beside her without saying a word.

Zilan looked at her younger brother and began to cry again. Qing took a tissue and put it in her sister's hand. Seeing that she had wiped off her nose and tears, she took the tissue back and stuffed a new tissue into her hand.

He didn't understand before, he didn't know how to comfort his sister, but now, he seems to understand a little bit.Yu didn't say goodbye to him when he left, and he felt a little sad, not to mention her sister's boyfriend who had been in love for two years.My sister's boyfriend, Liu Cheng, has met him two or three times. He is also from X University. He studies fine arts. He has the typical appearance of a person who studies art. His medium-length hair is tied into a ponytail at the back of his head. He is tall and clear-eyed. The whole person looks chic and handsome.I remember the first time we met, it was Liu Cheng who came to look for my sister at home. My sister smiled and introduced to Liu Cheng, "This is my younger brother Yun Ziqing, the young master of our family." Looking at him, when I reached out to shake his hand, there was something different in my eyes, not like looking at my girlfriend’s brother, but like observing and examining a collection I wanted, that kind of look It made him feel very uncomfortable. He didn't want to shake hands with Liu Cheng at first, but he stretched out his hand because his sister had no choice but to be held tightly by Liu Cheng, and he squeezed it very hard.But these are just the short-lived and one-time events. When I saw Liu Cheng again later, I didn't have that kind of look in my eyes.Liu Cheng is very considerate and considerate to his sister, full of gentlemanly demeanor, coupled with his artistic temperament and talent, no wonder his sister likes him so much.

The originally dull and sad mood became more sad, but my sister is also very outstanding, I don't know why they broke up.

"Qing, you must remember that when you have a girlfriend in the future, don't lie to her, and you can't do things like two boats." Zilan cried for a while, then said suddenly.

"If the relationship is gone, just say it frankly, the long-term pain is worse than the short-term pain." Zilan raised his head and continued, but he didn't look at Qing.

Qing thought of Yu.He didn't know what he and Yu should be, and what would happen in the future.But he knows that he will not fall in love with someone easily, and once he falls in love, it must be a lifetime thing, so he will not do that kind of betrayal anyway.What he expects is the perfect love between two people wholeheartedly.And just last night, he knew his sexuality unpreparedly, and his love may have to face more mundane problems.

He put the milk in his sister's hand and said to her, "Sister, no matter in appearance, character or study, you are undoubtedly excellent. Do you have this confidence in yourself?"

"Of course." Zilan took a breath, straightened his body, and raised his head.She is very aware of her excellence, and she has always been confident.

"Then, since he doesn't respect you, it means that there is something wrong with his character, so why should you take him to heart?" Qing finished speaking slowly, then paused and said, "He is not your master, you Not to mention his appendages, you are two equal people."

Zilan turned to look at Qing, there were some things she couldn't say.This time, I went on a trip with Liu Cheng and a few friends.In the evening, they drank beer and chatted on the beach. Everyone was very happy. Liu Cheng suddenly embraced her and kissed her affectionately. Although the smell of alcohol was heavy, she was still very moved by this romantic impulsive kiss. But when Liu Cheng was drunk and said: "Yi Tianyu, I really like you." She was stunned, pushed him away immediately, and went back to the hotel.When Liu Cheng woke up, she talked to him solemnly. Seeing that he couldn't make things right, Liu Cheng admitted that he was actually bisexual. Since she introduced Yi Tianyu to him, he fell in love with Yi Tianyu and began to pursue him. But Yi Tianyu ignored him at all, and told him very seriously that Zilan is his very important family member. If he can't treat Zilan well and don't hurt Zilan, he should break up as soon as possible.Liu Cheng also admitted frankly that he just couldn't stop liking Yi Tianyu, and would always think of Yi Tianyu when he was with Zilan.After hearing this, she said directly: "Let's break up. Also, just like what Yi Tianyu said, he is also my important family member. Don't harass him." Then she bought a train ticket, terminated the trip and went home directly.When sending Yu to the train station just now, she told Yu that she had broken up with Liu Cheng, and Yu said, Sister Zilan, you should break up with him, he is really not worthy of your liking.The rest of them didn't say anything.

Although she was the first to propose the breakup, she knew that Liu Cheng would also propose after that day, and it was a matter of self-esteem, so she took the first step.Two years of love, after all, is not white water, and two years, after all, is not nothingness, it is all heavy emotional dedication, there are laughter, touch, surprises, petty tantrums, and nuanced love. Considerate care, there are bits and pieces that only lovers can experience.In the end, she lost, which was very strange.But no matter what, it is a fact that Liu Cheng doesn't respect and cherish her. Qing is right. In love, two people are equal individuals. I have my excellence, and I am not your accessory. Since you don't respect, If you don't cherish me, why should I be sad for you here!

Zilan patted Qing's head lightly, smiled hard, and said, "That's right! My younger brother has grown up too."

Qing's heart moved, yes, he has grown up too.

In the hot summer, the heat is unbearable, and the senior three students have also entered the intense pre-examination sprint stage.There was a heat wave in the air, the doors and windows in the classroom were wide open, and there was no trace of wind. Cicadas were screaming all over the sky, impatient and irritable.The students arrive at school at 24 o'clock in the morning for morning self-study, and at [-] o'clock in the evening for evening self-study. The teachers of all subjects focus on the morning and evening self-study, explaining various types of questions to the students and handing out various test papers. All the people seemed to be on a battlefield filled with gunpowder [-] hours a day, their spirits were high and their physical fitness was close to the limit.Four days before the exam, Qing finally fell ill.

The onset of stomach problems was overwhelming, and he curled up tightly on the bed. A cold and gloomy feeling moved from his stomach along the esophagus, like a very cold snake, emitting a steady stream of chills, choking his throat, and moving to the esophagus. Backed down, twisted and crashed in his stomach, and then climbed up again, big beads of cold sweat oozing from his forehead, and his hair was wet and clinging to his forehead.

His parents sent him to the hospital urgently, and sent him directly to the emergency room. B-ultrasound, CT, and gastroscopy were done. Except for chronic gastritis and gastric ulcer, nothing was found. The family recuperates from illness.

The medicine didn't work immediately, and I vomited whatever I ate, so I had to ask special care to give me nutrient solution every day.My mother also asked for leave from the unit to take care of him day and night.He woke up distorted from a stomach attack, and fell asleep exhausted from stomach pains.At night, my parents found that he was sweating all over his body, as if he had just been fished out of the water. His personnel were unknown, and only his weak breathing proved that he was still in the world.

On the second night of Qing's illness, Kuo came. He half squatted and half knelt beside the bed, holding Qing's hand tightly. Seeing that Qing was being tormented and quickly lost weight, he felt that his breathing suddenly became difficult. stand up.

"Qing?" Kuo called softly.

Qing curled up on the bed, heard Kuo speak, opened her eyes slightly with difficulty, then closed them again, unable to agree.

Kuo You said in a low voice: "You have a good rest, I will come to see you again in a few days."

In a few days, it will be the end of the college entrance examination.Qing knew what he had missed. 12 years of hard work, 12 years of accumulation, and 12 years of hard work were all for this important battle, but he was unbelievably absent at the last moment.Originally, for him, this would definitely be an absolutely beautiful battle to win.Loss mixed with sadness is like a dark river surging in his heart, which is an indescribable pain.Looking at the regretful eyes of his parents, watching them hesitate to speak and pretending to smile, he knew that his parents had no intention of blaming him, and he was afraid that their self-blame would be stronger instead. His mother's eyes were always wet. I blamed myself for not taking good care of him, and I was even more afraid of ruining his future and life.He suddenly found that his parents seemed to be much older in just a few days. He told himself that he must cheer up, look relaxed, and smile hard.At this moment, he also wanted Yu.If Yu knew that he missed the college entrance examination, what would he say to him?What did he want Yu to say and do?A hug, a kiss, it doesn't matter.Will Yu come during the summer vacation?

When Kuo came, Jian Qing seemed to be getting better, but her face was still pale, and she was leaning weakly on the bed, with a big pillow stuffed behind her.He rambled on and on, telling Qing interesting stories from all over the world, but he never said anything about the situation of the college entrance examination.

Qing listened to his eloquence, and sometimes smiled.

"How was your exam?" Qing interrupted him suddenly.

Kuo immediately stopped talking, looked at Qing, there was no loss or pain in his gentle and quiet eyes, peaceful and natural.He smiled indifferently and said, "That's it!"

Qing knew that Kuo would definitely be admitted to Y University, which he talked about every day, and they both had to apply for this university in the first place.

After more than a month, Qing's body gradually recovered. Kuo was going to go to Y University in E City, Ye Rong was also admitted to Y University, and Cao Yilin was admitted to another university in another city. They made an appointment to leave D City on the same day , Go to the university to report.The day before leaving, Kuo, Ye Rong, and Cao Yilin came to bid farewell to Qing, and asked Qing to go out for dinner. After the meal, Kuo suggested to sing, and he wanted to sing all night.The microphone was passed back and forth in the hands of Kuo, Ye Rong and Cao Yilin, singing solo and chorus, singing "You at the Same Table", singing "Blue Ideal", singing "Broad Sea and Sky", singing "Glorious Years", singing "Blessings" ", "Your Look", "The Wolf of the North", "About Winter", and "Swordsman"... Later, I just sang whatever I wanted.Qing just sat there quietly, listening, sipping tea from time to time.

After singing more than [-] songs, Kuo handed the microphone to Qing and said, "Qing, you should sing a song. It's for us to see you off. It's rare to listen to your golden mouth. After we go to school, think about it again." How long will I have to wait to hear you sing?"

Qing didn't refuse, took the microphone, didn't stand up, just leaned on the sofa, and sang "Red Bean Song": "I can't stop falling in love, throwing red beans, and spring willows and flowers all over the building; I can't sleep well After the wind and rain in the screen window, I can't forget the new and old worries; I can't swallow the jade grains and the golden water shield is choking my throat, and I can't see it in the water chestnut mirror; The green hills where I live are faint, and the green water flows continuously..."

The voice is soft and warm, and the singing is slow and deep, full of an indescribable emotion.Looking straight at Qing, he saw the momentary trance and pain in Qing's expression, his heart twisted and hurt, it hurt even more than when he saw Qing being beaten with a stick, at that moment he wanted to give Qing A tight hug.Qing could have been recommended to go to college, but Qing gave up. He said that he would personally participate in this battle in life, and recommending it was too boring. In the end... Qing was defeated by illness, which made teachers and classmates We are all regretful, and we all think that Qing should repeat his studies.He didn't ask Qing if he planned to do the same in the next step. He felt that with Qing's character, he probably wouldn't repeat the study, so perhaps Zeng and Qing's appointment to study abroad was just a dream.

The next day, Qing insisted on sending Kuo and Ye Rong to the airport.Before entering the security check, Kuo turned his head and said to him, "Qing, I will find you when I come back from the holiday. We will get together again then."

Ye Rong joked, "Qing, the baton of fate between you and Kuo is now in my hands!"

Qing nodded with a smile: "Okay, a word from a gentleman..."

"Four horses are hard to catch!" Kuo and Ye Rong said in unison.

The three looked at each other, laughed and waved goodbye.

Zilan called from out of town, wanting to comfort Qing, but she who was always eloquent didn't know what to say at this moment.Standing outside the pain and persuading the suffering people is an easy task, but words that cannot truly empathize with them are pale, and in the end she can only pretend to be relaxed and say to Qing: It’s okay, Qing, Just start living the life you want from now on!Everything has just begun, and everything is still too late!

Qing said calmly, sister, I'm fine, don't worry.

But Zilan's nose was sore, she put down the phone, turned around and threw herself into the arms of her boyfriend Qi Haoze, crying so much that she couldn't stop the pain.

Qing didn't show too much depression, which made her parents, relatives and friends feel relieved.

As Kuo expected, Qing did not repeat the reading, he felt that it was unnecessary, and the life of writing now suits him quite well, his first novel is already in print, and it will be released in a month, during which the publisher hoped that he could On the first day of the release, I went to the bookstore to sign the book. After all, when "genius and beautiful boy writer" and "concise style, sophisticated brushwork, and fascinating" are combined together, it will be full of gimmicks and will be very popular.Qing politely refused, firstly because he felt exaggerated, and secondly because he really didn't like the feeling of being paid attention to.When he has that show time, he would rather stay at home and watch a movie, write a movie review, and finish writing the manuscript for the next column.He is currently working on a second novel.

Qing's parents have always been open-minded, respecting the child's ideas and choices, and guiding the child's education. They do not force the child to accept their own views, and they do not judge the child's future. They have never made them worry about it, they can only feel proud of such a child.Qing is very fortunate to have such sensible parents.

Yu has never been to City D since the winter vacation of his freshman year.Occasionally he would make a phone call to say hello to his aunt and uncle. Only when he felt that Qing should finish the college entrance examination and was ready to go to college, he asked his aunt which university Qing went to, and only then did he know that Qing missed the college entrance examination. , I comforted my aunt on the phone, saying that Qing can repeat her studies, and she can also study college courses through the Internet. When the phone call came, Qing had to find something to intentionally trip him by the side and listen to their chatter, but after that, Yu never mentioned him again.Looking forward again and again, failing again and again, Qing's heart is like a pile of raging flames, gradually burning out, gradually cooling down, he thought, maybe it was because they were young and frivolous at that time, their spring clothes were cold and thin, and they didn't have anything I understand, there are countless things you can do on impulse.Ah.

He decided to bury his affair with Yu.