prison love

Lin Lin wrote a paragraph when he was 14 years old: Sometimes I really want to hack everyone to death, let the whole world be buried with me, let the whole world sink with me, let all living things fall into a boundless hell, feel and I'm as dark and panicked as I am.

What Lin Lin was really sad about was this year. Many things happened when he was 14 years old, which made him fall into hell overnight, and there was no way back.

Every time Lin Lin thinks back on this year, he always thinks, does his becoming gay have something to do with Liu Yu and Zhang Xueying?

Lin Lin met Chuzhou on a sunny afternoon, and he had long forgotten what he was doing, anyway, he was immediately attracted by that young master who looked very sunny.At that time, Lin Lin was covered with a dark atmosphere, and Chuzhou was like a sun, shining on him with hope.

Lin Lin began to peep at Chuzhou frequently, just like every person who has a crush on him, he carefully hides the secret in his heart, he still doesn't know that the emotion of being lost when he can't see someone is called liking, and he doesn't realize it at all The fact that I like homosexuality.

Until one day, when Chuzhou turned around and asked Lin Lin who was pretending to be passing by, "Do you like me", Lin Lin suddenly realized, and at the same time, he fell into an ice cave. How could he like the same sex like Liu Yu?

It was also because of this incident that he had the courage to secretly go to the Internet cafe to search for information about homosexuality, and then he realized that it was not a disease, but a natural one. However, this did not reduce Lin Lin's disgust and hatred for Liu Yu and Zhang Xueying. , because neither acquired nor born can change the fact that Liu Yu betrayed the family because of a woman.

By this time, Lin Lin had actually been able to accept homosexuality very calmly, after all, he lived in such an environment every day.But this doesn't mean that he doesn't hate homosexuality, but he has become the person he hates the most.During that time, Lin Lin also forgot how he got here, he was immersed in his own world for a long time.

Since it cannot be changed, Lin Lin can only accept the fact that he is also gay.

Lin Lin began to focus on Chuzhou all day long. He thought he liked Chuzhou, and since Chuzhou was with him every day, he must also like him. He didn't know that Chuzhou was just too boring for himself to have fun. That's all.

Lin Lin thought that Chuzhou was the same kind of person as him, because Chuzhou didn't resent his approach, Lin Lin thought that Chuzhou was his sun, but the truth was often bloody.

Chuzhou talked about Lin Lin's liking for him everywhere. The town was small, and Zhou Zhilin and Liu Yu's affair after so long was still a joke in other people's chats. What's more, Lin Lin was their son. Lin Lin was enough for him. It's ridiculous, now he is also gay, and everyone is talking behind his back that he is a pervert, that homosexuality is hereditary, and that there is no good person in his family...

Lin Lin questioned Chuzhou angrily, but Chuzhou denied it, and Lin Lin forgave him somehow.After all, Chuzhou is the only ray of light in his life, at least he has the motivation to live on.

The news of Lin Lin's liking for men quickly spread throughout the town, and Zhou Zhilin naturally heard the rumors, which made him feel ashamed and hopeless. Why did his family become like this? They were all bloody homosexuals!

He took Lin Lin home, tied Lin Lin to a pillar and abused him. He made Lin Lin deny the fact that he liked men, and kept stabbing him with needles. Lin Lin suffered more and more wounds. In fact, as long as he If he said that he was wrong, Zhou Zhilin might let him go, but Lin Lin kept his mouth shut. He firmly refused to admit that he was wrong, even if he was about to be beaten to death.

Zhou Zhilin had new fun, so he naturally relaxed his supervision on Liu Yu and Zhang Xueying, so they finally had a chance to escape.

Lin Lin knew when they left, because he was watching from the yard. He was tied to a tree in the yard by Zhou Zhilin and his mouth was gagged. Liu Yu and Zhang Xueying passed by him, and Lin Lin didn't even bother to care. They, just leave, no one will care if they die.

Lin Lin didn't sympathize with them at all, nor did she sympathize with herself, they all deserved it, everyone deserved it, they were all living in hell, burned by karma and could not escape.

Two people disappeared in the family, Zhou Zhilin was furious, he couldn't find anyone anywhere, so he could only vent his anger on Lin Lin, Lin Lin's life was even more difficult, he wanted to kill Zhou Zhilin many times, killing him would be the end all sins.

Liu Yu and Zhang Xueying came back half a year later. Lin Lin didn't know if they were looking for death. Anyway, Zhou Zhilin went out with a kitchen knife on the day they came back. Liu Yu blocked Zhang Xueying's knife. Zhou Zhilin bandaged Liu Yu in a panic. Li kept saying sorry.

Looking at this scene, Lin Lin found it extremely ridiculous. He didn't know what Zhou Zhilin liked about Liu Yu, and why he still loved Liu Yu after all this.

Lin Lin was let go, Zhou Zhilin's attention was no longer on him, he was only thinking about Liu Yu, Lin Lin had a chance to go out, he saw Chuzhou, Chuzhou was still the same as before, Lin Lin disappeared for so long It didn't affect him at all, and he might have forgotten that there was someone like Lin Lin.

Even so, Lin Lin still likes Chuzhou. Chuzhou has everything that he doesn't have. He is cheerful, lively, popular, and has no worries about food and clothing. These are Lin Lin's envy. Only later did he know that Chuzhou had offended his family. Those who came to them to be punished, Lin Lin didn't understand why Chuzhou was so happy when he was punished.

"Later, I dated Chuzhou, and I confessed it." Lin Lin said to Zhuo Xingyuan behind him.

"No wonder he pestered you before, so you still have such a relationship." Zhuo Xingyuan said in a sour tone, "Lin Lin, stay with me now."

Lin Lin didn't speak, and Zhuo Xingyuan didn't force him either.Zhuo Xingyuan couldn't imagine Lin Lin's life when he was a child. He was very strong, even though his heart was dark, he still wanted to live.

"Are you sleepy? If we are sleepy, let's sleep for a while?" Lin Lin asked Zhuo Xingyuan. Lin Lin talked all night, and it was almost dawn.

In order to make Lin Lin feel more relaxed, Zhuo Xingyuan deliberately teased and said, "Us? Are you going to sleep with me?"

Lin Lin moved uncomfortably, Zhuo Xingyuan held him down, kissed Lin Lin's side face, and said maliciously: "Don't move around, you are responsible if you react? Does your back hurt anymore?"

Lin Lin said angrily: "I'm not your boyfriend, be honest!"

Zhuo Xingyuan brushed Lin Lin's ears with his lips, and said with an ambiguous smile: "Baby, which one of us is dishonest, I didn't move..."

"You..." Lin Lin wanted to say that you were too much, but she felt like being coquettish, so she closed her mouth again.

"I don't even call brother Xingyuan anymore, I'm so sad..." Zhuo Xingyuan looked sad, like a playwright.

Lin Lin ignored him, thought for a while, and then said, "Do you know when I was most desperate?" It seemed to be asking Zhuo Xingyuan, or talking to himself.

Lin Lin didn't know how Liu Yu and the others became addicted to drugs. He only knew that the two of them were taking drugs outside and had nowhere to go, so they had to return to this hell.Lin Lin felt that there was something wrong with them. If it was him, he would rather die outside than come back, and if he became addicted to drugs, did he want to hurt others when he came back?

Soon Lin Lin knew the answer, because Zhou Zhilin also took drugs.I don't know where they got so many drugs, and Lin Lin was so sleepy every day, it reminded Lin Lin of the pictures of people who smoked opium in history books, half dead.

But they also had moments of excitement, when Zhou Zhilin had nowhere to vent his energy, Zhou Zhilin used Liu Yu and Zhang Xueying as a punching bag, beating them up like no one.

But the irony is that Zhou Zhilin has to say "I love you" to Liu Yu every day. Lin Lin really doesn't know the meaning of living like this. The days when pigs and dogs are not as good as pigs and dogs are suffocating.

Lin Lin wanted to call the police many times, but he was locked at home and couldn't get out. Chuzhou never looked for him, maybe because Zhou Zhilin was frightened.In fact, Zhou Zhilin didn't do anything to him, because he couldn't offend Chuzhou, all he could do was vent all his anger on Lin Lin.

Lin Lin managed to escape once, but was arrested by Liu Yu and Zhou Zhilin on the way to the police station.

Lin Lin still remembers Liu Yu's ferocious face until now. She said to Zhou Zhilin, "If he calls the police, we will be ruined. Why don't we let him do the same?"

Lin Lin was tied to a tree and shook his head in horror. If he touched drugs, he would really be doomed. He frantically untied the rope with his hands behind his back and watched them approach step by step. Lin Lin had never been so close in his life. Desperate too.

Lin Lin struggled non-stop, Liu Yu couldn't hold him down alone, Zhou Zhilin went to the room and dragged Zhang Xueying out, and then he and Liu Yu held Lin Lin down tightly, making him unable to move. In a state of excitement, she eagerly held the syringe, her face was extremely haggard but her eyes were full of excitement. Lin Lin wanted to escape, to back up, but he was imprisoned and unable to move, and there were two hands behind him imprisoning him.

Lin Lin watched helplessly as the syringe stuck into his arm, his pupils dilated and lost all luster in an instant, as if the world had turned gray, Lin Lin was completely desperate, he was finished, his life was finished, he just 14 years old, but got into drugs.

Lin Lin looked at the smug smiles of the three people in front of him, and for a moment he really wanted to kill them and then commit suicide. It would be great if they died, and it would be better to die and be freed than to live in this world.

Probably feeling Lin Lin's deep-seated hatred, Zhou Zhilin's eyes flickered, he untied the rope, and entered the house with Liu Yu in his arms, Zhang Xueying followed behind, Lin Lin leaned weakly against the tree trunk, looked up at the sky, tears flowed from his eyes The corners of the eyes slipped.

Lin Lin began to think about quitting drugs, but Zhou Zhilin and the others would give him compulsory injections every day, and he couldn't resist the power of an adult man, let alone there were three of them, Lin Lin became addicted within half a month.

Lin Lin knew that his life was ruined, and he no longer had the idea of ​​living. He was extremely decadent, so he took the initiative to go to Chuzhou to say goodbye.At that time, Lin Lin was already as thin as a stick. Those who were tortured by drugs were neither human nor ghosts, their pale faces were like ghosts, extremely frightening.But he didn't frighten Chuzhou. I don't know if Chuzhou knew something. When Lin Lin said that he broke up, he agreed indifferently. Anyway, he didn't care about it and was just having fun.

Lin Lin remembered that Chuzhou was standing against the door frame, Lin Lin fell to the ground, Chuzhou looked down at him, his eyes were full of ridicule, disdain, and disgust.Lin Lin's heart was startled by that look, as if he knew Chuzhou for the first time.

Lin Lin didn't know what hell was like, but he felt that he had already fallen into hell and could never turn back.Sometimes when he went out, he saw the mocking eyes and whispering backs of the people around him, and he really wanted to kill everyone. He was resentful, he felt it was unfair, why should they all live well, but he lived half-human, half-ghost, They don't know what qualifications they have to discuss others behind their backs. If they have also experienced their own lives, they might have a worse life.Lin Lin wanted them to be buried with him, to enjoy a hellish life, and to let these people feel what it was like to be hopeless.

"At that time, I was really desperate, I really hated it, I felt that my life was ruined, every day was like a walking dead, I had no thoughts, I just knew I was alive, if I escaped earlier, maybe there wouldn't be so many Later." Lin Lin's eyes were wet, and he said this in a low mood.

Zhuo Xingyuan was sitting opposite him at this time, wiping Lin Lin's eyes with his thumb. Lin Lin's experience made him feel suffocated, and he could feel Lin Lin's helplessness in life between the lines. It is impossible to comment on Lin Lin's past, let alone say "after the rain, the sky clears".Zhuo Xingyuan had a thousand words stuck in his throat, he wanted to say but couldn't, so he could only look at Lin Lin silently.

"Lin Lin..." Zhuo Xingyuan lowered his voice and shouted, he couldn't say anything after that, he could only give Lin Lin a hug, "I didn't participate in the past, but in the future you have me, I won't let you suffer If you are wronged, I will not let you experience despair again, Lin Lin, I like you."

The author has something to say:

Lin Lin: Desperation is being made to have no strength and can only be carried away by people.

Zhuo Xingyuan: That's not what you said just now, you obviously enjoy it!