bosom friend

Liang Weidao: "You don't regret it because the experience was wonderful?"

Xin Yu said: "A part. I couldn't understand what love is like before, how sweet and painful it is, it's hard to imagine."

Liang Weidao: "This is not something that can be seen in books, it has to be practiced."

"Yes. If it weren't for a coincidence, maybe I would never know what love is for the rest of my life. From this perspective, not only do I not regret it, but I also feel very lucky."

"As sweet as sweets?"

"No, I can only say that looking back now, no matter the ups and downs, I feel wonderful. At that time, I didn't have this awareness."

Liang Weidao: "Many books and movies are interesting only after reading them."

Xin Yu said helplessly, "This interest came too late after all."

Liang Wei said, "What about the other part?" Just now Xin Yu only mentioned part of the reasons for not regretting it.

Xin Yu said: "The other part is because feelings help to develop the brain. Now I feel that my brain is better than before. For this, no matter how painful it is to lose a relationship, it is worth it."

Liang Wei smiled and said, "If you hear the Tao in the morning, you can die in the evening."

Xin Yu smiled back, "Yes."

Liang Weidao: "Aside from these by-products of love, what if love itself makes you feel?"

Xin Yu said: "The mental journey? Or, the lessons learned from it?"

Liang Wei smiled and said, "Yes, can we talk?"

"Okay, we've talked about love, what else can't be talked about. I'm happy to add some material to your research." Xin Yu said, "First of all, I think we started this relationship too hastily, and we should take it slow. "However, even if he does it all over again, he may not be able to resist Xiao Qiao. There are some things that he can't stand alone, so it's useless to say this.

"Then, we started living together too early." If they didn't live together, the two would have more space, and the rhythm would not go so fast, and it would be more stable if it was slower.

Hearing him talk about living together, Liang Wei said, "You used to be with Xiao Anqi...?"

Xin Yu said succinctly: "That's following the trend of college love."

Liang Wei smiled, "When young people fall in love, many of them are indeed following the trend."

Xin Yu said: "I was confused, so I followed the trend." I had no direction, so I followed the trend.

Liang Wei said, "Xiao Anqi is married."

"Well, it's New Year's Day, right? She told me." Xin Yu smiled, "If she knew that Qiao Pingyi and I were together, she would definitely be surprised."

Liang Weidao: "Not necessarily. She told me something about the two of you back then. She was quite distant from Qiao Pingyi at that time. If she knew that you were together, she might suddenly understand."

Xin Yu laughed, "At that time, Qiao Pingyi and I were absolutely pure."

Liang Weidao: "Is there any difference between being with a man and being with a woman? I'm just curious."

Xin Yu thought, what's the difference between being raped and being raped? "It shouldn't have much to do with men and women. People have different personalities, so their behavior patterns will be different." Xiao Qiao's temper is as hot as fire. If he changes gender, it should not be much different from what he is now.

Liang Wei nodded, "Yes, this is the correct answer."

Xin Yu said: "I don't have the correct answer. I'm a mess on the test paper of love."

Liang Wei smiled, "Just now you mentioned cohabitation, then what?"

"It started too fast, and progressed too fast...the pace was too fast, so the foundation was not firmly laid. Or, our rhythm is out of sync." Xin Yu laughed at himself, "You know how slow my pace is...he doesn't Believe that I love him, and I can't feel my feelings, maybe I don't show any feelings-I mean, I don't show the kind of feelings that even ordinary people fall in love when they fall in love."

Liang Wei smiled and said, "You have a lot of complaints."

Xin Yu also laughed, "Looking back now, I was too stupid and conceited at the time. I always thought that all problems could be solved. In fact, I was stumbled when I was just taking a step, but I was too slow to notice it. No, I didn't realize there was a serious problem between us until he broke up."

Liang Wei said, "He mentioned breaking up?"

"Well, looking back now, I mean looking back from my perspective, the first cracks in our relationship started here. Once a solid building starts to crumble, it's only a matter of time before it collapses." Xin Yu He let out a long sigh.

Liang Wei said, "His mention of breaking up has hurt you a lot?"

"It can be said. I only realized this recently, because I have been thinking about this relationship over and over again these days, so many things have to be seen clearly."

Xin Yu paused for a few seconds before continuing: "He broke up with me when I was not prepared. This behavior destroyed my blind self-confidence. Before that, I think we are the most suitable people in the world. I think He will never leave me no matter what; after that, I know nothing lasts forever and no one will love me blindly and unconditionally."

"From this moment on, the cornerstone of our relationship has gone wrong. Since then, his behavior has another interpretation for me."

"In the past, I would find his waywardness cute and interesting, but later it gradually became unbearable. Because his dedication is not 'unconditional', he has demands on me, so I also start to have demands on him. It's like, You asked me to 'love' you, so why didn't you 'love' me?"

"Before, I didn't care so much about his incomprehension of me, because I thought it would be more interesting to seek common ground while reserving differences, or to complement each other. Later, I felt that he just didn't want to understand me. He only cared about his own feelings and ignored mine."

"Before, his outrageous behavior, I thought it was part of his personality. To love someone, you should accept everything from him. Later, I felt that he just didn't want to control himself and enjoyed it. I felt that he didn't love me much. He just got into the drama too deeply and indulged too much, deceiving others and himself."

Liang Wei said after listening, "In the late stage of the relationship, you have a lot of negative emotions."

"Yes, and then I couldn't see the crux of it clearly, so it was very painful, a vicious circle, and finally broke out." Xin Yu said.

"I've always hoped that God would give me a pair of wise eyes." Liang Wei said with emotion.

Xin Yu smiled and said, "Go and have a relationship, then your eyes will brighten several times."

"I will consider it." Liang Wei said, "So, is there a problem with trust between you?"

Xin Yu said: "Yes. It's strange, isn't it? We've known each other for more than 20 years, but in the end there will be problems with trust... It's like a joke."

Liang Wei said, "Is something really wrong?"

Xin Yu smiled and said, "No, it's just a deviation."

"deviation?"

"Well, in fact, he is still one of the people I trust the most. If I need to ask him for help, I will never hesitate, and he will definitely help me. As for love, there is definitely no shortage of love between us, no Who is deliberately trying to hurt someone."

Liang Wei nodded, "But at that time, his behavior of breaking up misled you and made you misunderstand his subsequent behavior?"

"Almost." Xin Yu said, "I've thought a lot recently, and I think the problem lies in: I focus on the content of the language, and forget to pay attention to the true meaning behind the language and the true feelings covered by the language. .He said breaking up doesn’t necessarily mean that he really wanted to break up, but he probably just wanted to say something like 'you should see me more, you should pay more attention to me...' or something like that."

Liang Wei nodded, "Many times people are unable to clearly express their real needs—sometimes because they are ashamed to speak out, and sometimes they simply don't know what they want."

Xin Yu sang a line: "It's ironic to say, I don't really understand, but I hope you understand."

It was the first time Liang Wei heard Xin Yu sing, and he found it novel, "Are you letting yourself go?"

Xin Yu laughed and said, "The more you evolve your mind, the more free you will be."

Liang Wei also laughed, "So not only can you tell people what's on your mind, but you can also sing out-of-key songs in public?"

The two said they were familiar, but they were not. Although they used to get along easily, they would not be as relaxed as they are now.

Xin Yu laughed, "God opened another window for me, so I can do many things that were impossible before."

Liang Wei said, "I'm a little jealous of your current state."

Xin Yu shook her head, "You didn't see me crying all night."

Liang Wei smiled and said, "People who haven't cried bitterly in the middle of the night are not enough to talk about life?"

Xin Yu said: "When most people fall in love, it takes six to eighteen months to recover? They may have only talked for a few years, but we have known each other for more than 20 years. I don't think I will ever recover again. There will be more in the future." An opportunity to cry all night."

Liang Wei said, "You were not in love before."

Xin Yu said: "But it's very intimate. Looking back on the past now, I always have my own filter."

Liang Wei smiled and said, "Your state is very interesting."

"gloat."

Liang Wei smiled and said, "Chang Ye cried bitterly, what are you crying for?"

Xin Yu sang again: "You can't get what you want, what a shame you are." Then he smiled and said, "Cry for what you miss, cry for what you can't get. Once there was a colorful future in front of me, but I couldn't get it." Fixing the way to it... I feel like I've missed out on the best things in my life."

Liang Wei said, "What if it is redeemed?"

Xin Yu was silent for a while before saying: "I will try, but he may not be willing - we are always out of sync. Even if he is willing to try, the relationship cannot be precisely controlled, so the probability of repeating the same mistakes will be very high. Don't look at me now You can see clearly that once you integrate into it, you may be "not knowing the true face of Lushan Mountain, just because you are in this mountain". "

Liang Wei said: "You already have experience, and you will do better next time."

Xin Yu smiled and said, "I'm not that optimistic."

Liang Weidao: "I think you used to think too simply, but now you think too complicated."

Xin Yu said, "I just don't take everything for granted anymore."

Liang Wei nodded, "Another naive me has been eliminated. This is how people grow up. They keep killing the old me and ushering in the new me."

Xin Yu said: "Why do you fight and kill? I prefer another way of saying: to expand ourselves. We are still us, but with a bigger structure and a wider vision... Just like a computer, the system can be upgraded, but the upgrade After that, it is still compatible with old software."