then spring comes

In August, I clearly realized that I was suffering from mild depression!I have to go to work, Huang Linhui is in the army, and the child staying in Luoyang can relieve my emotions, but we don't have such conditions, I have to save myself!I was looking for something that could occupy my time, divert my attention, and be beneficial, so I thought of taking the postgraduate entrance examination. It was my mother’s wish to study for graduate school. I didn’t care about the working situation at that time. I am very satisfied, and I have neither background nor contacts. If I want to get ahead, I can only rely on my own efforts to improve my professional ability and quality, so the postgraduate entrance examination became my best choice at that time!I never thought that my seemingly self-improvement and magnificent self-help act would push my family and marriage into the quagmire!

My lover Huang Linhui was an active soldier at the time. He joined the army at the age of 16 and worked in the army for more than ten years. He studied hard and had no time to worry about him, so he developed a bad habit of playing mahjong with a group of friends! Due to family reasons, he grew up with his grandmother when he was a child, but he was thrown into the melting pot of the army when he was still a teenager. In the army, the simple and rough education methods in the army created his rough personality, and the lack of family education caused his weak sense of right and wrong, but he is not a bad person, he is kind-hearted, sincere and kind to others.But it was this closest person who was not a bad person who hurt me so much that I was scarred and bruised!He was quite critical of my postgraduate entrance examination. He thought that my job was fairly stable, and I had a child. We had already bought a house in Luoyang, so we shouldn't be too ambitious to study!But he never expressed such intentions to me. He still picked me up at the place where I was studying at night, and rewarded me with a big meal in the week. I confessed my true thoughts at the time!

For a period of time after the incident came out, I hated him extremely and hated him, but now looking back objectively, he is definitely not a heinous person, and I am not completely responsible for our marriage problems. It can be said that I Under the circumstances at the time, I didn't pay much attention to him and his family because of the pain of losing my mother and the urgency to take the postgraduate entrance examination. In addition, our married life has been extremely disharmonious since pregnancy. We got it together, but we are both very traditional and shy, too shy to talk about it, and afraid to look directly at this issue.But at that time I was 27 years old, and he was 30 years old. Sexual problems between husband and wife are definitely not a small problem. Contradictions, especially for me, although I vaguely feel that this is an apocalypse, I still ignore it and pretend that it does not exist.In addition, I didn't really try to understand my lover. I just thought that everyone is an adult and has the ability to solve problems and relieve stress. I didn't consider that my husband also needs to adapt to the process from the army to the local area. He also has troubles and anxiety. Let him fend for himself and make a bunch of bad friends!

In the spring of 2006, he often came back very late at night, and he would come back after I had slept with the child in my arms. Slowly, we simply slept in separate rooms. Sometimes he even didn’t return at night, but after he came back He can always give me a reasonable explanation, and I was so focused on the postgraduate entrance examination that I didn't notice these things that were wrong, until I woke up in the middle of the night and called him when I saw that he hadn't come back, and it turned out to be a woman who answered The phone, the phone was handed to him, and after I talked to him, I turned around and fell asleep with my child in my arms.I didn't feel any strangeness at all!Until one day in June, I received a text message from Huang Linhui: "I don't want to see you, I am with my girlfriend now, she is pregnant, you can figure it out!" I was a little confused when I saw this text message, Huang Linhui It's my husband. Where does he get a girlfriend when he's married?Pregnant or something, what a mess!Even though I was thinking this way, my hand holding the phone couldn't help trembling slightly.I immediately went outside the office to call him, but no one answered. I waited until the evening when Huang Linhui called me. I asked him about the text messages. He said he didn't know about it at all. Maybe one of his guys played a trick on me. Well, when I heard that, it turned out to be the case, and I was relieved all of a sudden, and went back to play with the child happily. After the child fell asleep, I started to light up the night battle and prepare for the postgraduate entrance examination!Then one day when I came back from a business trip, my son said to me when I was sleeping at night: "Mom, my father took me out for dinner yesterday, and there are two aunts!" Huang Linhui was playing games next to me. Who, what about the two aunts?" Now I forgot how he explained it to me, but I believed him without even thinking about it, and then I hurried to bathe the child!How did I know that the person I love the most will also deceive me!

Now that I think about it, I was really stupid at that time, but I think my reaction at the time was basically in line with my cognition, knowledge and experience of society.I was born in the late 70s, when family planning was not too tight, my peers had several brothers and sisters, but I only had one brother who was ten years older, and my mother had difficulties in giving birth. According to my aunt, my mother gave birth to a little girl when my brother was three years old, but for some unknown reason, this little sister died when she was just one month old. The pain of losing a daughter is a heavy blow to my parents. My parents never Mentioned to anyone their poor daughter who died young, I understand this, like a bloody scar on the heart, can only let her stay quietly in the deepest and most hidden corner, never touch, always It hurts so much that you convulse all over!My parents didn't know what kind of medical treatment they had gone through, and finally welcomed me in the seventh year, so I was greeted with warm welcome and sincere blessings from everyone around me when I was born. All are ardent expectations, careful love and meticulous care.At the age of entering school, I am smart and smart. Although I don’t study hard, I have never been among the top three in the class exam. Naturally, I have gained the teacher’s preference and the friendship of my classmates. In this way, after graduating from university, I Successfully entered this well-known scientific research institution in Luoyang to work.Therefore, until I was 27 years old, I never thought I was the most popular person in the world!

Huang Linhui met through someone else's introduction. He pursued me enthusiastically the first time he saw me. He responded to my requests and cared for me. I often feel that being with him is as warm and solid as being with my mother. Marriage The next year, our son was born, we named him Jin, because his arrival added to our life, he is just like our life!We owned a car and two houses at a young age. My husband loves me and my son very much. He is an active military officer. My in-laws love me and respect me. My parents are healthy, my son is smart and healthy, and my job is smooth and the salary is not low. At that time, I I often think: the sun is shining everywhere in my life, and I have obtained the pure happiness I want. It would be great if I could live happily like this forever! I don’t know that pain and suffering are already waiting for me with a grim smile Now, under the peaceful life, there is already an undercurrent, and the cruel reality will also tear off her warm veil, and slowly show me her original hideous face!