There is a pregnant woman at home

Mrs. Ji and I tricked Ji Luojue into going to the hospital together under the pretext of Little Rouwan's physical examination.

The moment I got the diagnosis report, I felt an indescribable sourness in my heart, as if time went back to the time when she lied to me by pretending to have amnesia a few months ago.If I had a choice, I wish it was true that time and false this time.

Postpartum depression is not serious, but it is not small. It is said that as long as you accompany it carefully and take care of it, it will not take long to recover. However, many of them are so serious that they commit suicide in the end.

Ji Luojue's illness was largely caused by Little Rouwan. From birth to now, she seldom cried and was quiet every day. She really looked very different from other children.

Once Ji Luojue used the computer and forgot to turn it off. When I turned it on, I accidentally saw that the content she was searching on the web was "autism".Is it autism if you don't cry or make trouble?In order to reassure her, we took the little one for a professional examination. To my surprise, the doctor's answer was: the possibility is not ruled out, but the diagnosis can't be confirmed until about one year old.

"What do you mean can't rule out the possibility?" I was anxious, although I knew that most doctors were like this. When they couldn't make a complete diagnosis, they usually said the situation was worse, so that the family members could prepare psychologically in advance.But given Ji Luojue's current situation, wouldn't this kill her?

Sure enough, I heard Ji Luojue let out a long sigh, turned around and left with the little meatball in her arms.

Ji Luojue's mood became more and more depressed. Every day, she opened her eyes and stood guarding in front of the crib, trying every means to make her daughter laugh, but the little guy seemed to want to sing against her on purpose. Even when he was awake, he only opened his eyes in black and white. The big clear eyes looked at her silently.

Several times I stood outside the door and saw her lose control to tears, unable to control herself.Is this still the Ji Luojue I know?

After careful consideration, Mrs. Ji finally decided to take their mother and daughter back to Beijing one day not long after Ji Luojue was confinement.

Originally thought that Ji Luojue would refuse, but she just hesitated for a moment before nodding her head in agreement.Holding the last ray of hope, I cautiously asked, "How long are you going to stay here?"

Ji Luojue turned her head to look at me, although there was reluctance in her eyes, it quickly disappeared.

"Wait until Little Meatball heals, or if she doesn't heal, she won't come back."

I took a step forward, grabbed her arm anxiously and shook it lightly: "Luo Jue, the little meatball is fine, she's not sick, and doesn't need treatment at all."

"Why does she look different from other children when she's not sick?"

"It's just that the crying is a little less. These are actually... quite normal. Besides, her eyes are bright and energetic. Doesn't she look sick?"

Ji Luojue couldn't listen to anything at all, she stubbornly shook off my hand, turned around and packed the toys that Little Rouwan liked one by one into the suitcase.

"Okay!" I got up "Huo", and looked at her with fixed eyes: "In this case, I will go back with you."

She froze for a moment, then smiled lightly and said indifferently: "No, the unit will have opinions if you ask for too much leave. With my mother here, what problems can go wrong in such a short distance?"

"It's not asking for leave. I'll resign and go back to Beijing with you."

This time she finally stopped her hands and looked up at me in surprise: "Resign? Are you willing to leave everything here?"

I nodded without a trace of hesitation.

"What if I never come back?"

"No matter what, I will always be by your side and Little Rouwan."

Finally, there was a hint of emotion on her face: "Your job, friends are all here, and the house you worked so hard to buy..."

"It doesn't matter, these will be there in the future." I reached out and held her in my arms: "Only you, I can't lose no matter what."

With my personality, this can be called the most explicit confession, but Ji Luojue did not show an ecstatic expression after hearing the "confession" as I thought.Even, there was a faint doubt on her calm face, and she raised her hand to push me away after a while: "Are you pitying me?"

Where did this remark come from, I hastily denied it: "Of course not, why do you think so?"

She looked up at me, with a self-deprecating smile on the corner of her mouth: "You don't have to hide it from me now, what postpartum depression? It's pure nonsense."

"you……"

"How do I know? Isn't the report just in the study drawer, and I'm not blind."

I was shocked in my heart, but I still forced myself to hold her hand to comfort her: "Actually, this disease is not a big deal. The doctor said that it will be cured soon." Get better in minutes.

"Yes." She agreed so easily, but I was a little confused.

"So you don't have to guard me out of sympathy, let alone quit your job and abandon everything here and go back to Beijing with me."

It turned out that she actually meant this...

"I'm not sympathetic, let alone hot-headed and impulsive. I think clearly that I will be with you in the days to come."

"Really?" She raised her eyebrows and looked at me: "When the misunderstanding was cleared up, I begged you repeatedly, but you were not moved at all. You have no hesitation in wanting to be with Xiao Xiao. Now..."

What she was talking about suddenly stopped, and she laughed at herself after a while: "Yes, Xiao Xiao doesn't want you now, so you come to be with me again. I'm really a perfect spare tire. go."

"I never thought about it that way, Luo Jue," I put my hands on her shoulders and forced the person in front of me to look at me: "I have never known how important you are to me since... the night you gave birth, I can't live without you, let alone lose you, so..."

"So?" She snorted softly through her nose: "So if Xiao Xiao doesn't mention breaking up, you still want to be with me, and you still think you can't do without me?"

This... I haven't figured out how to take the initiative to break up with Xiao Xiao, but even though she said it first, it doesn't mean that I won't take this step in the end.

"Luo Jue, I know that the previous things were all my fault, but this time I really want to understand, can you give me a chance, let me guard you and the baby."

"Is this considered compensation?"

I was stunned for a moment: "What compensation?"

"I was sick, and you never left, to make up for what you owed me before." She looked at me and smiled slightly: "This is really like your style."

Ji Luojue's words were yin and yang, although I couldn't help but find it harsh, but I didn't make any rebuttals.

"Would you believe me if I said it wasn't compensation?"

How can love this kind of thing make up for it?If it is really possible, I would like to try my best to compensate Xiao Xiao, so that after the two owe each other nothing, I can continue to love the person in front of me without distraction.

She didn't speak, but disbelief was clearly written in her eyes. After a while, she tilted her head and said resolutely: "The things before are all caused by me, and have nothing to do with you. You don't have to listen to those doctors talking nonsense, saying that I have it." What depression. We...we don't owe each other at all, I will go back to Beijing and continue to live the good life of my young lady, and you can do whatever you want in your own little world."

"Ye Chenger," she looked at me fixedly: "Actually, we should have ended four years ago, and it took so long for no reason. It's all because of my restlessness. Maybe it's because of this that God sent the punishment to me. On my daughter. In the past few days, I have thought clearly that I can live without you, but I can't tolerate her making any mistakes. "

"What punishment, what retribution, don't think about it, the little meatball is fine, what's the problem?"

She nodded slightly with a cold face: "yes, she's fine, and I'm fine too. We're fine, so you don't need to worry about it."

Her face was as cold as ice, such as I had never seen before.It seemed at this moment that I realized that she was really determined to break up with me.

The door of the room closed in front of me with a "bang" without mercy, like the door of Ji Luojue's heart, and all possible developments between us were firmly locked.I sat on the ground leaning against the wall in a daze, clutching the clothes in front of my chest, and my heart hurt so much that I couldn't help myself.There is only one sentence floating in my mind: You walk too fast, I can't keep up with your footsteps.

When I was still ignorant and didn't know what it was, you chose to like it first; when I was entangled in the past and betrayed and couldn't get rid of my heart, you chose to forgive; when I seemed to choose a new life, it was just a certain When you escaped in this sense, you chose to continue to love without hesitation; but when I finally understood what I thought in my heart, I couldn’t do without you, but you chose to turn around and leave...

Luo Jue, did you go too fast, or did I understand too late?Or, postpartum depression and the suspected autism of the little meatball in your eyes are clearly God's punishment and retribution for me, punishing me for my inferiority and cowardice, I have been avoiding and dare not face it, so I just woke up , just use your resolute departure as my "best return"?

The next day I went to work to resign, and when I got home, I found that the villa was empty.

As expected... She didn't even leave me a chance...

But this time is different from four years ago. Even though Ji Luojue has mercilessly rejected me, I have no hesitation or hesitation. There is only one thought in my heart: get her back!

Go back to my original house and tidy up briefly. Except for a change of clothes and San Niu, the only thing I am going to take away is a small box that has been locked in the drawer of the study all the year round. Small objects.

When I was driving the car and was about to leave the place where I had worked and lived for four years, I was not without nostalgia in my heart, especially the girl I had let down.This time, I don't know when I will see you again. I am afraid that I will never pay back the debt and guilt I owed her.After hesitating for a long time, I decided not to meet again, but chose to call to say goodbye.

The "beep" sounded for a long time before the phone was picked up. Maybe she was busy, or she didn't want to hear my voice at all.

"Hello." My mood is very complicated, partly because I don't know how to face her, and partly because of the upcoming parting.

Xiao Xiao responded lightly, and asked softly after a while: "What's the matter, is there something wrong?"

Her voice was still gentle as always, without any resentment or resentment as I imagined, but strangely mixed with a trace of forbearance.

"Oh, no, it's nothing. You've...been doing well lately, haven't you?"

"Well, it's good." There was a pause on the other end of the phone, and then she opened her mouth to ask, "What about you?"

"I'm fine too. Are you busy with work? You must... take care of yourself."

She laughed suddenly, and then pretended to be relaxed and joked: "Why does it sound like you are saying your last words? Or is it that I haven't seen you for a while, and you... feel unfamiliar with me?"

"No, no." I waved my hand, and then realized that she couldn't see it, so I put it back a little embarrassingly.

"Speaking of this, it seems that we haven't seen each other for a long time since... that day. Don't think I'm avoiding you on purpose. "

"No, no...how could it be?"

"It's fine if you don't have one." She paused for a moment, then chuckled heartily: "Actually, I've been studying abroad recently, and I won't be able to go back soon. When I go back... I will treat you to dinner, okay?"

When you come back... I won't be here...

"It's okay, I just want to tell you..." Before I finished speaking, someone on the other end of the phone called out suddenly: "Doctor Xiao, Doctor Xiao!"

Xiao Xiao hastily agreed, and hurriedly said to me: "Cheng Er, I have something else to do, let's talk later."

"okay."

I answered in a daze, and the phone hung up quickly.

I was still unavoidably lonely in my heart. I didn't expect that after we got acquainted, our final farewell was so hasty and incomplete. What if we didn't start that relationship at the beginning?Will the result be different?

It's a pity... there are no ifs in the world, what has happened can never disappear again, and there is no other way to choose except to face it bravely.

I took a deep breath, shook off the miscellaneous thoughts in my mind, and started the car...