If you wear it fast, you will return the scum

In fact, Cheng Wenzhou doesn't regret meeting Gu Huaiyin. Cheng Wenzhou doesn't have much pursuit and revenge. If he hadn't met Gu Huaiyin, he would go out to find a job after finishing high school in all likelihood. Become a grain of sand in the dunya.

But if Gu Huaiyin hadn't met him, it would probably be much better than it is now.

He looks better than himself, and he is gentle, so many people will like him.

Moreover, if he is motivated, if he really enters the university, he will definitely become a small white-collar worker in an office, and he doesn't have to run around with him and worry about his livelihood.

In the few years he was with Gu Huaiyin, he was actually not kind to Gu Huaiyin at all. He often used the family money to go out to gamble, and said a lot of harsh words to Gu Huaiyin.

He knew that subconsciously he felt that he had been wronged. Although he wanted to make up for Gu Huaiyin, he always felt that he had been wronged by a man whose body structure was exactly the same as his own.

This physical and psychological imbalance made him use all kinds of cold violence against Gu Huaiyin.

As for his memories with Gu Huaiyin, there were only those unpleasant memories left.

For nearly eight years, he never let Gu Huaiyin live a good day.When he finally repented, that person had no chance to enjoy it anymore.

Cheng Wenzhou was very sad, but he didn't regret giving him the medicine.

He couldn't even embrace that person's thin body, and what remained with him was only the cold tombstone and the smiling photos fixed on the tombstone.

He hated Wang Mingze for disturbing his peaceful life, but he also knew that the fake relationship between himself and Gu Huaiyin would end one day even without him, maybe because of Hao Qianqian, or maybe because of other people.

The arrival of Wang Mingze only made this relationship more completely broken.

He will eventually pay the price for the wrong things he did back then, and this time God's punishment for him is to make him lose Gu Huaiyin.

He didn't know how to position Gu Huaiyin before, but now he finally found the words.

That person was his soul mate, he relied on Gu Huaiyin, and Gu Huaiyin also relied on him.

They are poor, but they love each other.

He used to think that he didn't love Gu Huaiyin, but some people just don't feel the importance of him when he's by your side. When he finally leaves you, you realize that you can't live without him for a day. .

Just like air is to people, like water is to fish.

He spent a long time in the grief of his loss, and finally he came out a little bit and got a job.

Similar in nature to volunteer work, the main purpose is to help victims of sexual assault get out of the shadows of the past.

The salary is not high, but Cheng Wenzhou is not here for money.

He wanted redemption, he was a sinner.

Even though he was not put in prison, his heart was in chains.

He felt sorry for that child back then, the child who was hurt by him.

He didn't know how Gu Huaiyin survived in the first place, not only because of the physical injury, but also psychologically.He has seen not only a victim who went crazy after going through that kind of thing, or suffered from some kind of mental illness, but Gu Huaiyin back then was so strong to bear it.

The perpetrator is still alive, but the victim has been buried in the ground. Is there anything more ironic than this?

For the rest of his life, he can only continue to struggle in endless remorse until his own sins are washed away... Maybe at that time, when he sees Gu Huaiyin again underground, he will feel a little better.

When Wang Mingze woke up, he was already in the hospital.

The tip of the nose is full of the smell of disinfectant, and the eyes are all dazzling white.

His brain was still in dizziness, and he couldn't even tell whether he was dead or alive.

What was more frightening than the pain in his body was that he couldn't feel the pain from his lower body, as if it no longer belonged to his body.

It took him a long time to react, and then a broken horrified cry escaped from his throat, until the doctor was called, who gave him a sedative.

When darkness fell again, he fell into a dream.

He saw a boy in the dark and ran straight forward.

He took a step to catch up, and when he got close, he realized that it was Gu Huaiyin.

He reached out to grab him, didn't grab the hand, only grabbed the hem of his clothes, but the man stopped.

"Where are you going?" Wang Mingze asked stupidly.

"I'm leaving." Gu Huaiyin replied, "It's time to go."

Wang Mingze stopped him and said, "Don't go, I promised to take you to the hospital for treatment."

Gu Huaiyin asked suspiciously: "What disease is it being treated? I've already died."

Wang Mingze grabbed his clothes tightly and asked, "When did you die?"

Gu Huaiyin replied: "Before I graduated from high school, I died in the warehouse."

With a shake of Wang Mingze's hand, Gu Huaiyin disappeared from his eyes, shattered like quicksand, and disappeared like smoke.

He knelt down and covered his face, tears fell from between his fingers and fell to his feet.

At this time, he found a letter dropped in front of him, and he reached out to pick it up, only to realize that it was a love letter.

He opened the envelope and took out the paper inside.

There was only one signature on the paper, which was Gu Huaiyin's name, but there was not a single word in the content.

Wang Mingze grabbed the paper and turned it over and over again, but found nothing.

He struggled to wake up like this. When he was half asleep and half awake, he heard someone discussing his situation, and only vaguely heard the words "high paraplegia".

Wang Mingze's tears rolled down the corners of his eyes again, and he didn't know whether he was crying for himself or someone else.

At the beginning, it was very difficult. I couldn't sit up, so I could only lie down. I couldn't control my excretion, so I had to ask the nurse to help.

In order not to let the muscles atrophy, he has to do many massages every day and turn over and over again hundreds of times.

He didn't know why God wanted him to survive, shouldn't he just let him die in a car accident?

But then he changed his mind and guessed that he had committed too many crimes, and God didn't want to accept it, because he didn't want him to dirty the land.

When he was able to move a little bit, he asked someone to push his wheelchair to the cemetery.

That day he bought a large handful of white chrysanthemums and put them in front of Gu Huaiyin's tomb.

It was only then that he remembered that he had never given Gu Huaiyin flowers.

He has deceived many people with sweet words, but he did not expect to miss this one by mistake.

This is the one that makes him feel distressed the most, and the one that makes him want to treat each other with sincerity.

He reached out to touch the photo on the tombstone, stroking the man's eyebrows.

He thought of his slender back standing in the osmanthus garden, the warmth of his body when hugged, and the days when he fell asleep under the quilt with him and listened to his breathing.

He thought, never again in this life.

He watched him jump with his own eyes.I saw Gu Huaiyin lying on the snow-white bed with my own eyes, and watched his body gradually cool down.

And he can't do anything.

How great it would be if I fell in love with him earlier, I would definitely bring the best things in the world to him, hug him and say good morning, good afternoon, good night, cook him various delicacies, When he is sad and lonely, hug him and say don't be afraid that I am here.

If he hadn't made that mistake then, would he and Gu Huaiyin be fine?

It was he who ruined everything with his own hands.

He stayed in the cemetery for a long time, returning only when it was getting dark.

He bid farewell to Gu Huaiyin's tombstone and said, "Come see you tomorrow."

Left after speaking.

He kept crying on the way back, either because he was too sad to speak, or because his tears couldn't stop flowing down.

He turned his head, and Gu Huaiyin's tombstone was already hidden in the cemetery, and he couldn't see it.

That person was never found again.

He covered his face, as if returning to the most desperate day.

Pushing the wheelchair, he stumbled forward, and when the wheelchair overturned, he fell into the mud.

I didn't have the strength to get up, but it started to rain again.

If the person who sent him hadn't found something wrong and came to him, maybe he would have died in the rain just like that.

But what is the difference between living and dying?

It's all dead after death, but even the heart, liver, spleen, lung and kidney are uncomfortable while alive.

He was burning in a daze, and finally the family in C City came to find him and took him back.

After returning home, Wang Mingze changed. He didn't speak or do anything else. He just looked out the window and looked at the north every day.

"When can I go back to City H?" He asked this question every day.

Others thought that he was suffering from hysteria, so they dared to let him go there, so they directly invited a doctor to come over and show him to see what was wrong with him.

But Wang Mingze knew that he was not crazy, he just wanted to go back.

Later, he stopped making trouble, and returned to the house where he had stayed with that person, and slept in the guest room every day, and only slept on half of it every day.

Wang Yueheng came to persuade him, saying that there are so many forests in the world, there is no need to hang himself on a tree, let him cheer up and do a good job of rehabilitation.

Wang Mingze knew it was impossible, how could he let it go and forget it.

Later, the Wang family got tired of talking, so Wang Mingze ran directly to the temple and said that he had become a monk.

His behavior was crazy and nonsensical, and over time, no one wanted to care about him.

Only Wang Mingze knew that he was sober, he was just sad, just immersed in the shadow of that person's departure and couldn't get out.

He was fine in the temple, listening to the Sanskrit, it seemed that even his soul had been washed.

There is a very famous Zen master in the temple, the kind that people from other provinces would come to ask him for clarification.

After he became acquainted with that Zen master, he once asked him if he and Gu Huaiyin would have an afterlife.

The Zen master told him that the next life is impossible to seek, and that there is a cause and an effect, and the reincarnation of cause and effect, right and wrong are all false.

He said again, don't tell me those lies, I just want to know if I can see him again.

The Zen master said that when a person dies, everything becomes empty like a lamp being extinguished.If you can't ask for it in this life, it will be even harder in the next life.

Wang Mingze didn't speak after listening, but he packed his luggage and moved out the next day.

He didn't tell anyone else, so he went back and took Gu Huaiyin's old diary, bought a ticket and went to the airport secretly.

He has been searching and searching all his life, and finally thought he had found a destination, but in the end it was nothing.Now he understands that only death is the final destination. People live a lifetime, come and go, and when they look back, they can't see anything.

He took all his savings and ran to rent a house near the cemetery.

The house is very simple, there is no heating, no air conditioning, and sometimes the water is cut off.

Under the dim light, he washed his soiled clothes and pants with cold water. When he was feeling uncomfortable, he could only feel a little better when he looked at the place where Gu Huaiyin was.

In the same city, no matter how little you go out, you still meet each other sometimes.

After he lived in City H for four months, he met Cheng Wenzhou on the street.

It is not a good thing to let the former rivals see his appearance. Wang Mingze's current image is no different from that of a tramp outside.

When Cheng Wenzhou saw the wheelchair Wang Mingze was sitting in, he satirized him in that sarcastic tone and said, "Wang Mingze, you also have today."

Wang Mingze covered his face, as if he didn't want to be seen by him.

"Yinzi is dead, but you are still here, God is so unfair." Cheng Wenzhou said, "Why didn't you die, why didn't you jump off?"

"Because he wants me to live, he wants me to watch him die with his own eyes." Wang Mingze said, "That's why I live."

Cheng Wenzhou sneered and said, "It's all an excuse."

Wang Mingze heard him say: "Who are you going to show your present appearance as a love saint? You treat Yinzi as an MB instead of a human being. Who are you going to show this appearance now?"

Wang Mingze wanted to say, no, he just repented a bit late, and he didn't want to act for anyone.

"You and I deserve to die, and those who have harmed Yinzi deserve to die. The only one who doesn't deserve to die is Yinzi." Cheng Wenzhou said, "If Yinzi sees you like this, he must be very happy. What else can you do now, young master?"

Cheng Wenzhou's anger was vented on Wang Mingze to his heart's content.

Wang Mingze knew that if he hadn't been bound by the law, he might have killed himself with his own hands.

He didn't know how he got back, but after he went back, he faintly remembered what Cheng Wenzhou said.

That's right, it's not just the two of them who harm Yinzi.

Thinking of this, he took out the mobile phone that had been unused for a long time, and called Wang Yueheng.

Those people will not die, sin is not unto death.But he will make them pay.He will also personally end the sins he committed back then.

Wang Mingze didn't go out very much, so when the landlady found out that he hadn't shown up for more than a week, she realized something was wrong.

After the landlady found a locksmith to open the lock, she found that the tenant had died in the room.

He appeared to have taken an overdose of sleeping pills and died in a wheelchair.

When the police officers came over, they found him holding an old and yellowed diary in his hand.The forensic doctor took a lot of effort to take out the diary and found that there were many photos in it.

It seems that because of being touched frequently, the edges of those photos are frayed.

The photos are all of the same man, from childhood to adulthood, there is a book full of them.

This is the last thing that this man named Wang Mingze left in this world.