[Wen Ye] Ghosts and Notes

coward

The shadow of the swing in the park gradually lengthens.

Children playing in the sand.

Homeless men sleep on benches covered with thin newspapers.

Who am I, where am I going, what am I looking forward to.

Unable to see the future clearly, I run after my own shadow.

— If this is the future, it means nothing.

Saw a strange person today.

The coffee shop has launched a new coffee. Anyway, the detective agency doesn't have any entrustment at the moment, and they are idle. Atsushi Nakajima agreed to the manager's request and helped distribute leaflets at the door.

Pulling out a flyer from his bosom, he tried to show a warm smile, with a hint of shyness, the white-haired boy handed it out, "Thank you very much."

However, the handed out flyer was not accepted, but strangely, the boy who was handed out the flyer also stopped because of his actions, and stood motionless, quietly.

Just a second before Atsushi Nakajima felt embarrassed and was about to withdraw his hand, a white and slender hand slowly lifted up, touched the thin leaflet, and pinched it.

For some reason, subconsciously holding his breath, Atsushi Nakajima raised his head that had been hanging down, and looked at the other party.

"Are you sad?" The moment the two pairs of eyes met, the body was faster than the head, and when he reacted, he spit out the words from the bottom of his heart.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to..." Realizing that he was directly poking someone's pain, the white-haired boy smiled wryly and waved his other free hand to express his apology.

Unexpectedly, the other party did not get angry, nor did he become more sad.

The obedient and slightly curly gray sideburns were softly attached to the sides of the cheeks, and the strange boy's face gradually showed a puzzled look, asking "...do I look sad?"

"Huh?" Not quite understanding the meaning of the other party's question, he let out a small breath, "But...it feels like you..." Under the gaze of the gray-haired boy "continue to talk" , Atsushi Nakajima swallowed his saliva, stumbled and finished his thoughts, "I'm about to cry..."

I scratched the back of my head, rack my brains and think about how to alleviate the embarrassing atmosphere. "If you are in a bad mood, you can come to the coffee shop to drink some ... Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh can

In this way, don't you look like the kind of salesman who doesn't understand style?

"Okay."

"Eh."

"I said yes."

Lifting his head slightly, the gray-haired boy revealed his delicate face covered by the shadow of bangs.The black eyes were like black agate, with complex emotions flowing inside, just silently watching Atsushi Nakajima who was stunned.

Has something happened?

For some reason, seeing the other person's face clearly, the heart in the white-haired boy's chest tightened inexplicably, and a faint sense of weakness and sourness permeated his heart, gushing out from the mouth of the bottle like soda pop.

Have you been abandoned?

Have you been hurt by anyone?

Are you blaming yourself?

are you lonely

Are you in pain?

Are you loathing yourself?

What are you afraid of?

......

Countless questions popped up in his mind one by one, and Atsushi Nakajima fell into confusion.

Strangely, there was an emotional resonance with the boy in front of him.Like looking in a mirror, the two teenagers with similar moods but different ones stood at opposite ends, looking at each other from afar.

——"Are you also an existence that is not expected by anyone?"

"A cup of caramel coffee." Tsushima whispered, glancing at the menu.

"Okay." The waiter nodded, wrote down the drink on the account book, and then turned to leave.

Sitting on the seat next to the transparent glass window, leaning on the soft backrest, I let my sight go.Just idly watching the flow of people walking back and forth outside the street, the young man lowered his eyes, the long gray eyelashes like feathers covering half of his vision.

He raised his finger and pressed his fingertips against the glass. Due to the warm body temperature, a faint mist appeared on the cold glass.

In a trance, there is an illusion that I am living in a fish tank.

——I am a small fish in this transparent fish tank.Looking at the outside world through the thick and twisted transparent cylinder wall.

"Ah, hello."

Suddenly, a voice brought Tsushima's wandering thoughts back to reality.

Tilting his head lazily, he moved his gaze to the source of the sound——a middle-aged man who appeared to be relatively ordinary came into view.

"Can I have a chat with you?" Looking into Tsushima's eyes, a look of surprise flashed in the eyes of the cautious strange man. Realizing that he was a little rude now, he hurriedly explained: "My name is Heihe Sanrong, and I am... ...a writer."

Scratching his cheek embarrassingly, "Well, it's a bit arrogant to say that I'm a writer, I'm just an ordinary light novel writer." Rubbing his hands together nervously, the middle-aged man who called himself Shanrong sat tentatively on the gray-haired The opposite of the boy.

"You are somewhat similar to the new character I conceived recently, so I just want to be with you..."

Seeing that Tsushima didn't show agitation, as if opening a chatterbox, the originally shy man had a confident temperament all over him, and he eloquently explained his thoughts and stories.

"Is writing novels interesting?" When the man raised his glass to drink water to moisten his throat, the young man who was listening quietly from the side said slowly.

Dazed for a moment, the corner of Heiwa Sanei's mouth curled up, "I think it's very interesting." After a pause, "Writing is free after all." Dragging his chin with one hand, "Does Tsushima-kun like to read?"

"I like it." After taking a sip of the warm coffee, he tapped the mug back and forth with his index finger. "No one would hate the process of acquiring knowledge." The way I usually pass the time is to read books.

"Tsushima-kun, would you like to try writing stories...or essays?" According to the chat just now, although the young man in front of him didn't speak much, he accurately spoke out the famous novel in a few words Among the classic sentences, it seems that he is also a person who has read poetry and books.

Alas, there are not many children who like reading nowadays.

"Let me write?" The slender eyebrows raised, "I feel like I can't write anything good."

Watching the man across from him take out a pen and paper from his backpack on the table, he sighed helplessly, and Tsushima stretched out his hand.

——This world is a corrupt world full of filth and anxiety.

Violence, blood, selfishness, war, corruption... a world made up of all unpleasant combinations of words, like a discarded crumpled paper ball.

Overheated people waved their battle flags high, swearing, resisting, and singing, fighting against invisible enemies.

The man who committed suicide was lying on the railroad tracks of the tram, complaining about the delay of the tram today with a red face.

The crowd is relying on injury and deceit, living like a monster, greedy and shameless.

Everyone says that one must be kind, and books tell me that one must be kind, but this world makes kind people miserable.

The burning world, the empty air, the beast-like human beings, the history that seems to be rewinding forward, so, so crazy.

......

I met her.

I thought this world had lost the need for redemption long ago, like diseased cancer cells melting into rotting bone marrow—ah, this world is finished, finished.

But she is so beautiful, in such a dirty mud, like a white water lily, blooming quietly, alone and secretly.

She is the only star in the night sky, the gorgeous aurora floating on the lonely ice field, and the colored cellophane of hard candy, with a sweet and sweet taste.

I want to take care of her.

In this world, she is the last pure land.

She told me her name.

- "Valerian".

......

I'm afraid you'll leave me.

We love each other and cannot be separated.

Our hearts are linked together.

Our blood vessels are tangled together.

Our blood is mingled together.

- everything, so, so beautiful and pure.

As if there is "she", this terrifying world is as free as the Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss.

But, but I'm scared.

How can I live if you leave me.

She smiled.

You speak softly to me.

Human beings, animals, and plants will be buried in the ground when they die.

Then the world we live in is actually a huge cemetery.

We live above the cemetery, and we return below the cemetery after death.

So, so dead or alive, we will live together.

We've all been, always will be together.

......

"Tsushima-kun."

Looking at the unfinished manuscript, the man gasped, "This is really..."

"This is really a gentle and hopeless story." Groping the stubble on his chin, Shanrong muttered to himself: "Ahh... I'm actually a little curious about the next story, "Valerian" How will it end with "I", or is "Valerian" really as beautiful a woman as "I" thinks?Or the existence of "I"..."

Interrupting the man's fast-talking speculation, Tsushima Yoyo said, "I don't know."

"Eh?"

"Well, it's meaningless even if you write it—no one will read this kind of story~" Wrapping his fingertips around his temples, the gray-haired boy smiled frivolously.

"Ah... it's really a bit..." Frowning, the man looked at the manuscript in his hand, "after all, this story is too..."

"—nobody likes such an unpleasant story."

Just like no one likes "me".

After all, the "valerian" in the story never existed.

The author has something to say: "Valerian" is a plant that has long been extinct in the world.

Speaking of the psychological line of rational dementia, I still don't know how to write it next.

Because I didn't have a better answer myself I brought myself into dementia, only to find that I was just as confused as I was with dementia.

My birth was not expected, all my love left me in the end, met people but were doomed to be separated, longed for life but lost it long ago.

I studied hard to be human but in the end I found that humans are as incomprehensible as monsters.

I long for someone to give me the meaning of living, but everyone tells me that I need to find it myself.

——How could such a thing be found?

Well, write whatever you want.

Anyway, as long as you don't give up "living", there will always be a way.