[Wen Ye] Ghosts and Notes

"coward"

You wear a mask of gentleness, full of lies, and a smile on your face.

...to pander to others?

—— Or is it to cover up the self that no one loves?

The boy's originally clenched fingers gradually loosened, and the white bandage was rolled up by the sea breeze, flying, and disappeared into the night.

"You don't need to be so vigilant, Tsushima-kun." Seeing the other party's thoughtful and sizing eyes, Mori Ogai smiled helplessly, "I just want to chat with you."

"...Is this the kindness of the Mafia?"

Tilting his head, although there was a faint smile on his face, he could somehow feel a little alienation from it, and Tsushima uttered frivolous words.

"Because I am human, Tsushima-kun... I am an ordinary person with flesh and blood and a heart."

"When you see someone who needs help, you instinctively want to help." Scratching the back of his head and sighing, the man lowered his amethyst-like eyes and said embarrassingly.

——This vigilant and impersonal appearance is really like a stray cat——When you get a little closer, you will show your sharp claws, "hiss" and bow your body.

Amused by the weird imagination in his mind, Mori Ogai laughed softly with a "poof".

"Even though I am a representative of darkness, with the evil and blood of the mafia flowing in my bones, but... this does not prevent me from having the ideal of protecting this city I love so much, this is me The kindness that persists.”

Containing his smile, Mori Ogai whispered: "I think you understand, Tsushima-kun..."

"Because we are similar in some places."

Shrugging his shoulders, watching the other party's gradually relaxing and softening attitude from the corner of his eye, the man slowly walked to the side of the gray-haired boy, keeping a distance, and leaning on the railing on the coast.

Two similar dark scarves were flying in the air.After a long silence, a small fuzzy voice sounded quietly, breaking the silence.

"I'm...a person with a lot of sins." With a trace of patience, the young man's pale lips trembled.

Widening his eyes, he seemed to be surprised by Tsushima's words, "Tsushima-kun, I think..." With a white gloved hand stroked his chin, Mori Ogai thought for a few seconds, then pondered: "When a As long as a man thinks himself guilty, he is innocent."

"Moreover, there is no exact standard for what is sin and what is innocence."

"In the eyes of ordinary people, powerful people with supernatural powers are evil. But in the eyes of some people with supernatural powers, being weak is the original sin."

"...So, it depends on what you think, Tsushima-kun."

"..."

Covering his cheeks with his hands to hide his expression, Tsushima took a deep breath, and then let out a long one.

"I do not understand--"

Without saying anything, silently, the boy replied with a whimper in his heart.

"Who are you asking for forgiveness...Tsushima-kun." Observing all the emotions of the young man, and keenly aware of the obviously abnormal mental state of the other party at this time, Mori Ogai raised his eyebrows "Or explain......"

"Are you begging for your own forgiveness?"

"what."

opened his eyes.

Stimulated by the bright sunlight, he blinked his eyes, raised his hand to wipe away the physiological tears flowing from his eyes, Tsushima stood up.

It's already the second day.

His body, which had been blown by the night wind all night, was already a little cold and stiff.

After saying goodbye to Mori Ogai last night, I didn't look for an inn, but slept directly on a park bench—ah, like a down and out homeless man.

Not caring, the gray-haired boy propped himself on the bench and stood up from the seat.

Right now, I don't really need sleep.

But... still getting tired.

Longing for the "peace" that sleep brings to oneself.

Don't worry about anything, sink your consciousness into darkness, and stop thinking-like death.

However, even if it is a deep dream, there will be a day when you wake up.

Rubbing his reddened nose from the cold, Tsushima breathed into his palm.

Today is another brand new day.

The bright sunlight refracted into the black eyes, shining with fine halos.The boy just quietly watched the crowd passing by the roadside.

I saw a man in a black suit passing by in a hurry, and suddenly, attracted by the passerby's attire, a ochre-colored figure suddenly appeared in my mind.

"In..." The unfinished words were swallowed, eyes closed, and Tsushima squeezed his lips tightly.

The right hand in his pocket moved and touched——that small book.

He slowly took out the book, unfolded it in the palm of his hand, and printed on the red and white cover—"Complete Suicide Manual" these familiar characters.

From the angle that no one can see, from the place touched by the boy's fingertips, the words printed on the page gradually disappeared like evaporation, as if being eaten away by some unknown existence.

Tsushima lowered his eyes as he looked at the "book" where even the title on the cover was blank.

--"Can not look"

--"do not look"

--"Can not see"

After hesitating for a while, he finally gave up.

I gave up reading through books, and went to observe the world where "Chuya" is located.

Because, touching the warm self must be a hundred times more painful than it is now.

Then don't read it.

Losing interest, Tsushima restrained his emotions by putting the blank red book back into his pocket.

I didn't feel sorry for wasting the book—anyway, I have already memorized all the contents of the "Complete Suicide Manual" in my mind verbatim.

Humming an unknown tune, he cheered himself up, raised the corners of his mouth, and put on a smiling mask, Tsushima walked slowly towards the dessert shop.

Strawberry shortcake...or how about ricotta cheese?

Think about it like a child.

——Sure enough, strawberry cake.

After weighing, the villain in his head raised the judge's hammer and made a verdict.

However, the originally calm mood suddenly became depressed when I saw a certain direction, a certain corner, and a certain place, like a roller coaster.

Cold sweat oozes from the skin on the back covered by the clothes, struggling to maintain his expression, Tsushima walked forward slowly.

That's it, that's it, that's it.

Please, don't find me.

Humbly begged.

The slight joy that surged in his chest was suppressed by the heavy sadness and fear, and he wrapped around his limbs gruntingly, forcing the boy to continue moving forward stiffly and mechanically.

Until passing by, the familiar yet unfamiliar figure was submerged in the crowd and disappeared without a trace.

As if waking up from a dream, the faint smile on Tsushima's face was replaced by a rising daze.

That's it.

——It’s just strangers between us, right?

With slender and well-articulated fingers, he firmly grasped the scarf around his neck, and buried half of his face to cover his expression.

It's okay, just be patient.

"Hey, Dazai."

"Huh? What's the matter, Mr. Ranpo."

"That kid just now seems to know you." The black-haired man said as he chewed the biscuit he held in his fingers.

"Ah, it's him." Nodding his head, his frivolous voice jumped in the air, "It's the young man suspected of being "Osamu Dazai" as mentioned in the information a few days ago. "

"It should be him... What do you think about him?"

"It's not like me at all~ that stupid look."

"I think, there are still similarities between you two." Edogawa Ranpo said with a long voice, with a hint of ridicule, "And——I think he is much cuter than you."

"...Is that so?" Dumbly blinking his eyes and raising his jaw, Osamu Dazai stared at the white clouds floating in the clear sky.

"I think that boy... is somewhat disgusting to me." Mixed with sighs and unhappiness, a deep voice escaped from the brunette man's mouth.

That timid, indifferent, helpless, and miserable look.

...It is simply a collection of tragedies.

Such you, what is the value of existence?

That child, one day, will be killed by himself, right?

The author has something to say: Osamu Dazai actually doesn’t like Tsushima very much (it’s not born by himself (no)

After all, he even loathes himself, and seeing Tsushima who is similar to himself, he will definitely feel displeased.

——This cowardly look is really disgusting.

-

Mr. Sen, I think that although he is the ruthless boss of Hong Kong gangsters, he is actually a pretty good person.

He is not as unkind as he imagined, and he is also a very harmonious uncle.

After all, if it was a tyrant, how could Chuya still be loyal to him.