Five Realms Traffic Safety Handbook

Yan Wujiu made a shrinking tactic, but found that he couldn't use it.It suddenly dawned on him that the shrinking formula can't even be used!What's the use of real people!Brother Xianhe told him that real people can travel thousands of miles against the wind, and have a life span of thousands of years and thousands of years. They also have some spells that they practice, and they can use some low-level formations, but they can't achieve "transformation".

To put it plainly, a monk can become a real person through practice, and he can turn his hands into iron sand palms and simmer eggs, but he can't simmer eggs into duck eggs, and he can't simmer eggs that weigh one or two into five liang.Only immortals and above can freely turn eggs into duck eggs or dinosaur eggs depending on the level of metabiotic ability.

So Yan Wujiu said that the transformation magic that can reduce weight cannot be done in a real person's body, at most it can only make oneself feel as light as a swallow, but how many catties should be weighed on the scale is just a few catties , The plane that can fly also weighs several tons.

Brother Xianhe said that Yan Wujiu's body shape is very standard and perfect, but if you want to ride a crane, the crane will still find it difficult to carry the weight.What's more, with the body of a bird, it is impossible to travel thousands of miles a day.

The two looked at each other in silence for a long time, Yan Wujiu asked: "When will the small world open?"

"The tenth day of April."

"There's still a month left, why not fly over slowly, don't travel thousands of miles every day, we should eat and rest, what do you think?"

"This idea is very good!" The crane clapped its hands.

The two of them looked around the forest, it should have been noon, because the sky was covering the sun, the surroundings were nothing but darkness.

"Do you have a map?" Yan Wujiu asked, they need to figure out where they are now and how to go.

The crane said that he has always been flying in the sky, and the feathered birds in the sky don't need a map, but he has a map of the sky.

"What's the use of the sky map?" Isn't it enough to go straight in the sky?What are you trying to do?

"There are waterways for all kinds of feathered birds, do you want it?"

"..."

The two unanimously decided to go for a walk in the forest first to find out if there are any delicious ingredients. After eating enough at noon, they will have a little time to ride the wind in the afternoon: it doesn’t matter if there is no map, and a few more circles on the ground No problem, just remember to fly north after liftoff.When it's time for dinner, cook another meal, keep the wind for an hour or two, and then rest.

By the way, high-level real people still need some sleep. Although they can tolerate it more than ordinary humans, they still can't completely eat and sleep.

Yan Wujiu suddenly remembered his previous question, why was he so stupid at that time, and went to eat roasted whole lamb?There is no uncomfortable feeling in the fairy body, which does not mean that the real body does not have it. If I knew this, I should have asked the elder brother to seal him earlier and let him experience it.

By the way, real people seem to be able to shit.Yan Wujiu, who had never pooped before, jumped up in his heart, and quietly asked Xianhe: "Brother He, I heard that you guys can poop?"

Crane jumped up: "Who can't shit?"

Yan Wujiu said with a facial expression: "Me."

Xianhe looked at Yan Wujiu very sympathetically: "Aren't you human?"

"I'm human, but my digestion ability is very good, there is no dregs. Immortal bodies don't even shit."

"Really? It turns out that the immortal body is so pitiful." The crane looked at Yan Wujiu more and more pitifully, "All the toxins in the food have been absorbed. No wonder those immortals seem to take poison when they eat something. You can eat so much, but I still don't want to eat it." Thought you were different from them."

"It's not that immortals can't eat, it's that they have no appetite. They can absorb everything they eat, but it takes extra energy to digest it. Maybe the immortals in the day after tomorrow won't waste energy." Yan Wujiu said, "It's hard to cultivate and become a fairy. Tired of eating. But I know that anyone with a congenital immortal body is willing to eat, and the old man in the sky doesn't know how greedy he is."

"You mean the Emperor of Heaven?" Xianhe said, "Fat?"

"It's okay, I have a little belly."

"You don't know how to shit, but high-ranking real people can." Xianhe suddenly panicked, "You...you remember not to bother me when you're done shitting, clean it up yourself."

Yan Wujiu continued to lower his voice: "So I want to ask you, what are the steps to take a shit?"

Mr. Xianhe described in detail that after the food residues have moved to a certain distance in the intestinal cavity, the rectum feels a kind of momentum that is about to come, and then I want to find a suitable posture, such as squatting, sitting or kneeling, and put The process of releasing all the restraints on the body, followed by a clatter.

"Wow?"

"Sorry, that's bird poop. Human poop is probably 'uh-uh'."

Yan Wujiu looked confused.

"You don't need to know that much. When you have a strange feeling in your abdomen, it means you're about to shit, do you understand?" Brother Xianhe was very serious, "Listen to me, this is not the most important thing, The key part is after you're done pulling, you have to wipe your anus with a leaf, really, really clean, before you can put your pants on."

"Leaves?" Yan Wujiu was puzzled.

"Well, it's okay if you have tissues, but those things are very rare, because they were left by the previous generations of humans, and there are not many of them." Xianhe said.

"Aren't towels okay?"

"..." Brother Xianhe said, "It's a bit wasteful, but if you insist on using it, I don't think there's anything wrong with it."

Yan Wujiu said: "I put more than a dozen towels in my space." In order to bring kitchen utensils, Yan Wujiu specially created a space that high-level real people can use before becoming a high-level real person. Those who cannot transform into space, not even low-level and mid-level immortals, only high-level immortals and above can transform into space.

Crane smiled strangely: "I guess you are not enough, let's use leaves."

The question about shit came to an end, Yan Wujiu saw rabbits in the grass, so he said, "Shall we have roasted rabbit meat for lunch?"

"That's right, what about the staple food? What about the soup?"

"...Do you still want to hurry?"

However, it was destined that they would not be able to eat this meal because it was raining.Yan Wujiu was holding a gray rabbit's ear, standing lonely in the rain, Mr. Xianhe crouched alone in the rain holding a pile of firewood, the two of them were speechless.

What can a high-level real person do?They can't change into a canopy, they don't have one in their space, and they can't go to the sky to grab the Dragon King's ears to prevent the rain, Yan Wujiu's current body can't even return to the fairyland.At most, the clothes on my body are dried with magic power. To be honest, the energy consumption of using a dryer is a little less.

"Let's find a cave?" Xian He suggested, "I seem to have seen a cave on the cliff just now."

Well, at least a high-level real person can fly to the hole on the cliff to roast a rabbit.

It is said that the posture is very beautiful.

Yan Wujiu, who was flying into the sky in a particularly beautiful posture, was carrying a rabbit in his hand, and landed lightly on the cave entrance on the cliff. A man and a woman with disheveled clothes in the cave turned their heads to look at him.

Clothes, crown, no, whole.

This statement is more polite.Yan Wujiu deduced that the man and woman may have kissed each other, touching it, not necessarily, half of the man's clothes were ripped off, but the woman seemed to be relatively tidy.

It seems that women are more active, while men...men...

"Yan Er?" The woman hesitated for a while and asked.

Yan Wujiu didn't hear what she said at all, he just stared at the man who put his clothes on slowly.

Very good, as a male figure, he has a very good figure, tall, strong, and strong, but his skin is very white, peach blossom eyes, straight nose bridge, and very well-shaped lips, not feminine at all.

That's the case, no wonder Tao Yunchu flirted with him as if he saw a dog laying eggs.

Yan Wujiu sneered.

"Yan Er, listen to my explanation." The woman straightened her hair and cleared her throat.

Who are you?Only then did Yan Wujiu notice the woman.In comparison, she looks much inferior to Tao Yunchu, so she can barely be called a beauty, right?Wait, does this person look familiar?

As soon as Mr. Xianhe came up, he saw this scene: Yan Wujiu was holding a rabbit and froze in front of two real men, a man and a woman, who were adjusting their clothes.The real man is adjusting his clothes.The Jurchen was talking while adjusting her clothes, her expression was dignified, uneasy, and guilty: "Yan Er, you haven't come for several months, and I don't know what you think, you can't let me go Looking for you? Anyway, I'm a woman too." Then he began to twitch, "I met Tao Hua, I don't think we had a serious talk, and I didn't agree to you, so..."

Tao Hua, right?Yan Wujiu scanned Tao Yun again, his exposed body was peach tree spirit, [-] years old, high-level human body, male form.

But Yan Wujiu didn't completely believe it, who knows what he is?If he could fool Yan Wujiu's eyes once, he could fool Yan Wujiu twice, Yan Wujiu didn't believe that a mere high-level real person's peach tree spirit could fool Yan Luodian's ancestral eyes.

Yan Wujiu finally remembered who the woman who spoke was.It seems to belong to Tian's family, he met when he went to play a few months ago.The girl from the Tian Family is different from ordinary female fairies, she is quite sensible, and he and this girl can still get along well, wait a minute, what's her name?

"Police, police illusion? [1]" Yan Wujiu retrieved the name from the corner of his memory.

In the eyes of Fairy Jing Huan, his contemplative expression turned into a piercing pain. Feelings of pity and guilt overflowed at the moment, and Jing Huan took a step forward, his eyes filled with the pain of having to give up after making a decision: "Yan Er , I'm sorry, I... I... I can't be nice to both of you at the same time, it's not fair to you!"

Tao Yun came out but remained silent, straightened his clothes, and stood there bored.

Yan Wujiu continued to sneer and said: "Very good, Jing Huan, but I will not give up."

Such a good opportunity for revenge, he would be a fool to give up.Yan Wujiu put on a dejected look: "I didn't go to see you because I planned to go to Beiming Small World to find the best spices in the world to give to you, and only after I found the courage to go to see you, alas , I won't blame you. It's all my fault that I didn't think carefully and left you in the cold. "

The pain on Jing Huan's face became more and more painful, she took another step forward, and said tremblingly: "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Yan Er, it's all my fault."

Yan Wujiu gritted his teeth and dropped the rabbit, and gave Xianhe a wink to catch it quickly, Brother Xianhe caught the rabbit who was about to jump off the cliff and commit suicide.Yan Wujiu stepped forward, pressed Jing Huan's shoulder, his handsome face twisted in pain: "If you really don't want to be with me, I can protect you silently, but please don't let me give up, okay? I will never give up."

He glanced at Tao Yunchu out of the corner of his eye. Tao Yunchu's hand was clenched into a fist, blocking his face, as if he was smiling?

The peach blossom eyes are hooked up.

Jing Huan was caught in a dilemma, Yan Wujiu patted her on the shoulder and said softly: "Are you hungry? I caught a rabbit, let's roast it and eat it?"

What a joke, if you procrastinate any longer, you can have dinner right away.

Yan Wujiu left the sighing Fairy Jinghuan, and instructed Xianhe to kill the rabbit quickly.The crane skillfully killed the rabbit by taking off its neck, and then removed its hair in a second—by the way, the trick of a high-level real person in a second can still be done.

Then Mr. Xianhe went to light the fire in the cave, Yan Wujiu carefully disemboweled the rabbit, cleaned it, stuffed the abdominal cavity with various spices, and then spread a layer of salt on the rabbit's skin.

However, Yan Wujiu searched through the space he created that can also be used by real people, and found that he didn't take the stainless steel skewers for barbecue, it turned out that he forgot to pack them in when he was experimenting with the delicious food in the human world.

Of course, Mr. Xianhe doesn't have one either, it has been said that his culinary skills are at the level of mountain husbands.

Tao Yunchu came up from behind, Yan Wujiu glanced at him.The latter took out a stainless steel barbecue skewer with a handle and a rotating grill from the space.

"..." Yan Wujiu silently accepted the favor from the "rival in love".

By the way, this "rival in love" might be a talented chef born in the world.Yan Wujiu pondered in his heart whether to make friends with him or to have trouble with him, after thinking about it for a long time, he found that he still couldn't swallow this breath.

Especially after discovering that Tao Yunchu turned out to be a man, the breath that he had finally swallowed halfway came to his mind again, and he didn't understand why.

Speaking of which, high-level real people can still suspend and spin the rabbit with magic power, so why bother?

But if you have obsessive-compulsive disorder, you will never let yourself abandon the barbecue sticks and use your power to hang the rabbit in the air. It has a lot to do with the taste. How can you just try a new method of roasting?What if the mana runs out or someone disturbs, and the rabbit falls into the fire?

When Yan Wujiu roasted the rabbit again, halfway through the roast, Tao Yunchu suddenly said, "You can turn it over."

"Ten more minutes."

"This rabbit is smaller, and it will grow old in a minute." Tao Yunchu said patiently.

"That's what my cookbook says."

"You don't believe my recipe and try it."

Brother Xianhe watched the two scramble for a barbecue skewer, all kinds of spells were flying in the air, and finally the rabbit lifted into the air and left the fire. Wugui's immobilization technique has the function of freezing.

The rabbit did not fall into the fire, but it was half roasted and turned into a frozen rabbit.

"Can't you just wait for a minute?" Yan Wujiu angrily took the stainless steel stick, not daring to use spells casually, so he had to put it on the fire to thaw.

"It's only 1 minute, can't you come earlier?" Tao Yunchu was blunt, "I tell you, your cooking method is too rigid and dogmatic, and it is not advisable to follow the recipe completely."

Yan Wujiu instantly dispelled the thought of "don't argue with him" that flashed over 10 minutes ago, and decided "I'm going to fight this guy to the end".

"Have you ever eaten what I cook?" Yan Wujiu's face darkened. The thing he can't tolerate people talking about in the past few hundred thousand years is his cooking skills. Even if he is ugly, he won't care, even if he is impotent. At most, he would be angry for an incense stick of kung fu.

"Then have you eaten anything I made?" Tao Yunchu said.

Well, he ate.Yan Wujiu suddenly had nothing to say, he spread his hands and said, "Young Master Tao is so confident, I'll leave it to you."

Tao Yunchu took the barbecue stick and said, "Your spells don't suit you well, and your ice-type physique can't be controlled well with fire."

Wait, are they familiar?How did he know that he had a physique of the ice system?

Xianhe, who was left on the sidelines, chatted with Fairy Jing Huan, and Jing Huan asked Xian He hesitantly: "They knew each other before?"

Xianhe shook his head and said, "I don't know, it looks a bit festive."

"It's all caused by me. You see, the two of them should be good friends." Fairy Jing Huan felt deeply pained, "You see, they are more right when they stand together."