Five Realms Traffic Safety Handbook

Legend has it that there was nothing in the land of nothingness, but one day, God-man was bored, so he planted a seed of the Chinese osmanthus tree there, and the sycamore tree grew very fast, and after a while, it grew into a huge tree. The wood is swollen, the branches and leaves are curled, and it has no function except to enjoy the shade, so the gods often lie on the branches of the laurel tree to enjoy the shade, sometimes for tens of thousands of years. 【1】

Millions of years ago, immortals often saw gods and men walking in the sky, occasionally playing on the planet, moving mountains, filling seas, throwing a few seeds, pinching a few animals and throwing them in the wilderness.Immortals can also go in and out of the Land of Nothing Occasionally, but not many immortals like to play in it, because the wife is bored, and there is nothing in it except for a huge osmanthus tree.Yes, there is nothing, no blue sky, no white clouds, no flowers, no lakes, no sea, no living things, except for that one tree hanging in the chaos, nothing.

Over time, no one went to the land of Wuheyou again. After tens of thousands of years, some immortals found that they had not seen the God-man for a long, long time. Sleeping, thinking that after tens of thousands of years, the gods and men should come out to play, but after the 10th year, no one saw the gods and men.So there is a saying quietly spread in the fairy world: the god and man have disappeared. 5 years ago, someone passed the entrance of the Land of Nothing, and found that the entrance could no longer be found.For nearly 5 years, no immortal can find this entrance, and it is said that including the Emperor of Heaven and the King of Hades.

A terrifying legend began to appear in the world of self-cultivation on this planet: the gods abandoned this galaxy. If the key to the land of nothingness is not found, all the lives that cannot ascend to the gods and leave this galaxy will be destroyed with the galaxy.

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Yan Wujiu likes beauties to praise him for his good cooking skills the most, secondly he likes beauties to say that he is good at kung fu, as for beauties who say that he is handsome and has a good figure, he doesn't like to listen so much, anyone who has practiced for tens of thousands of years can rely on He likes to change his shape freely, although Yan Wujiu has never changed his appearance, what he should look like is given by his father and mother.

Yan Wujiu doesn't really like to associate with beauties from the realm of self-cultivation or fairyland, who knows what those beauties look like when they first take shape?On the contrary, he prefers beauties in the human world, they will live and die, and he also likes the delicious food he cooks; there are times when they are beautiful, and then there are times when they are old and ugly—of course, Yan Wujiu will never be with her again at that time. They are getting better.

Yes, Yan Wujiu just likes beautiful things, natural beauty, like bright flowers in full bloom, green leaves just growing, once the flowers wither or the leaves wither, he doesn't bother to appreciate them.Who allowed him to exist so long that he was too lazy to appreciate death?

One day—yes, the method of keeping time in the Netherworld is still according to the day, although the Netherworld never sees the sun—Yan Wujiu suddenly became bored in the dark Netherworld, and wanted to go to the human world to find a beautiful woman to play with Playing, anyway, one year in the mortal world, one day in the dark, he goes out to play for one day, and can spend 360 days with beauties for five days.

The last time he went out was two months ago. At that time, he met a very beautiful woman who seemed to be a princess of a certain country. He escaped marriage with her and played for a whole year. Sticking with him, even hindering him from delving into gourmet food, trying to burn his carefully edited "Human Food: Cannonball", he left in a rage, returned to the netherworld, and continued to study human cannonball food, Unknowingly, after two months, the anger disappeared, but after thinking about it carefully, the princess must be 80 to [-] years old, right?Maybe he is no longer alive.

Yan Wujiu doesn't know which dynasty the human world is now, but he knows that the human world has experienced several mass extinctions, [2] after the extinction, the survivors reproduce and develop civilization again and again. He was still in the human world last time The world has seen a spaceship that can lead to the universe and the starry sky. For this reason, he also expressed emotion: Although it will take hundreds of thousands of years, through the power of the group, the human beings on the planet can try to leave the planet, and there is no need to practice Taoism at all.At that time, due to the prosperity of the human world, many monks from the cultivation world went to live in the human world, and experienced something that only immortals can do: leave the planet.As for the immortals in the fairy world, they don't bother to do this kind of thing. They can play freely in the solar system, but human spaceships can't fly out of the solar system!

But the mass extinction in the human world always comes so suddenly, and an asteroid knocks everything back to the original point.Fifty thousand years ago, when the immortals could not find the entrance to the Land of Nothing, an asteroid attacked the planet, knocking out 2 out of 5000 of the human beings in the human world. The impact was too great, even the cultivation world, the fairy world and the nether world were all affected.The pontoon bridge between the world of comprehension and the human world was broken, and it could not be repaired for [-] years; the wind of the fairy world blew for [-] years, and the nether world suddenly ushered in a large number of dead souls. Since there were not enough new bodies for reincarnation, these souls It was absorbed back to the land of nothing, and turned into chaos again.And during that time, because the underworld was too busy, even Yan Wujiu, a wild crane like Yan Wujiu, was arrested and returned to work.

The place where the asteroid hit happened to be the most prosperous place in the human world, so the surviving humans basically lived in the most remote places, and they were originally blood-drinking people.Yan Wujiu, who used to hang out in the human world often, went to the human world after the pontoon bridge was repaired, that is, 2 years after the impact, but he didn't see many humans—even if he saw them, they survived and reproduced like wild animals. There is no other pursuit.

It was at that time that Yan Wujiu discovered that all the delicacies in the human world had no recipes circulated in other worlds, and they were completely wiped out. For this reason, he was depressed for almost 2 years.There is no fire in the nether world, as long as it is burning, it is the soul, so he can't make food; people in the cultivation world don't care about eating and drinking, and they are dedicated to Taoism - he can display his expertise thanks to the possessions in the human world - before the asteroid hit the earth , He also opened a pastry shop in the spaceship yard, and after the collision, human beings don't even know what flour is.Although Yan Wujiu can conjure it, he doesn't like it, he doesn't like fake things, what does the taste of the conjured flour matter?How does it taste different from wood chips?

After all, human beings are interesting. Human beings desperately want to practice Taoism, want to explore the realm of cultivation, and want to fly to the sky to become immortals, but monks can still eat something and have a little appetite. What are immortals?Inhale the wind and drink the dew, there is only air but no feces, no human form, no appetite, why don't you treat them to something to eat, it seems like they are trying to seek wealth and murder, it is extremely boring.

By the way, this is actually the fundamental reason why Yan Wujiu doesn't like beauties in the cultivation world and the fairy world. They don't feel happy at all when eating the delicacies he cooks; except for the fertile female fairy named Tian, ​​and other female immortals or Let the Jurchen sleep, it seems that it is dispensable, it is best to have nothing, and it is called double cultivation.

Yan Wujiu went to the Naihe Bridge for a stroll, and Po Meng was sitting on the bridge dozing off, actually Po Meng didn't need to sleep at all, she acted like this to show that she was practicing and didn't want to be disturbed.Speaking of which, her job is also very pitiful. She has been detained on a bridge every day for hundreds of thousands of years, and asked her if she wants to take a vacation.

Yes, there is no difference. Anyway, there will be no life, no death, no need to eat, drink, pull, sleep, or desire. It is no different from a stone. Have you ever seen a stone on holiday?

Yan Wujiu originally wanted to come over and ask if the princess from the human world he met last time had come to reincarnate, if she was reincarnated into a female fetus, and it happened to grow into eighteen flowers again, he wouldn't mind going with her Again later.But looking at Po Meng's expression of not wanting to care about others, he thought about it and let it go.Go to the human world to see if there is any fun you can find.

Yan Wujiu thought about one thing, he had seen the God-man, and said something, the God-man looks like a human, and the God-man can make animals, so is the human being made by the God-man?There used to be such a legend in the human world: human beings were created by a god-man in his own image.But Yan Wujiu has always been doubtful about this matter. Did the gods create human beings, or did human beings exist all the time, and a certain special human became a god?

Strictly speaking, the permanent residents of the nether world are also a kind of fairy, with a human form, but they have a long lifespan. There are also rumors that the fairy will not die. Yan Wujiu grows to 35 years old. I have never seen a nether fairy die.According to human medical terminology, Nether Immortal, like Immortal, should be a person with extremely slow metabolism.In the human world of the previous generation, Yan Wujiu took a scraping of his own oral mucosa to look under the microscope very curiously, and what he saw was the same tissue as human oral mucosa.At that moment he really wanted to shout: Look!I'm human too!Why do you call me a ghost!

But he is different from humans after all, he was born without deliberate cultivation, his lifespan is boundless, his metabolism is slow, but his recovery ability is very strong.Unless something unexpected happened, he couldn't die.He has taken human medical books to study, and even went to the hospital for a physical examination. His structure is exactly the same as that of human beings, not to mention the appearance, but the inside is similar: he has a mouth, an esophagus, a stomach, a small intestine and a large intestine, and have anus.There is a heart, blood vessels, and blood in the blood vessels.If cut, the blood that flows out is red like a human being.Heart, liver, spleen, lung and kidney are not bad.As a male figure, he has a mouth and a mouth.The sensory organs are also the same. Vision, hearing, taste, smell, pain, itching, temperature, proprioception, and even sexual pleasure are all present.

But there are some things that he can't feel, such as wanting to sleep, he can fall asleep at any time, but he won't "sleep", if necessary, he can also be awake for a long time without fatigue; for example, all visceral pathological experiences, such as Hunger, fatigue, vomiting, dizziness or headache, abdominal pain, he can eat, but he will not be hungry, nor will he "want to eat very much, must eat"; for example, although he can experience pleasure during sexual activities, he does not No strong sexual desires or feelings of wanting to have sex with anyone in particular; things like that.It should be like the person with the best body and the most stable spirit among human beings, who never gets sick, has no need for others, and can survive completely independently of the world-and he can continue in this state forever.

Once, he was too curious about the experience of vomiting. He ate a whole roasted lamb, wondering if it would cause vomiting, but it was not possible. The food entered his stomach without causing any discomfort, and it was digested in his intestines. Afterwards, there was not even dross left, all turned into qi, blood and body fluid—so even though he had an anus, he didn't know what it was for, because there was no shit to poop at all.

By the way, gender is also a very interesting thing. Although human beings after cultivation can modify their appearance and body to their liking, gender is irrelevant, and the strangest thing is that even immortals, although their sexual desires are indifferent, have Everyone has their own sexual orientation.Most of the male celestial beings still prefer the female form, while the female celestial beings still prefer the male form.

Of course, Yan Wujiu also likes female figures, all women with the word "human" in their names, such as women, Jurchens, and female immortals.It's just that he has never seen a goddess man, because it is said that a female body cannot become a god.So far, there is no official record to give a reason, it may just be because the only gods that everyone has seen are men.However, female deities once appeared in the classics of the human world, and a group of human beings always believed that the deities who created them were women.