i have a chromosome want to meet you

A long time ago, even before Chu Xiuyuan realized his sexual orientation, Song Yu told Chu Xiuyuan not to give up on him.

"That's right." Xu Hehui repeatedly echoed, "I also think Song Yu meant that."

Seeing his roommates nodding in front of him, Chu Xiuyuan suddenly got up, jumped off the bed, put on his shoes and ran outside.

"Brother Yuan, what are you doing?" Liang Lichao quickly leaned on the edge of the bed and asked.

"I'm going to find Fu Jue!"

Zhang Junming followed anxiously: "Then what about your course selection?"

"Choose one for me, you know the password!" Before finishing speaking, the person had disappeared in the corridor.

Liang Lichao looked at Chu Xiuyuan who had no time to close the door, sat back on the bed and patted his belly: "Youth, it's so good."

He was slapped by Xu Hehui: "Sigh, I've chosen a class!"

It wasn't until the noon break that Chu Xiuyuan stopped Fu Jue at the mental health center. Fu Jue and Teacher Bai had just finished introducing Song Yu's condition to Dr. Cao, and they were on the phone.

With Teacher Bai's relationship, Dr. Cao is willing to reduce Song Yu's individual treatment fee to 500 per session, but she is already overloaded with appointments, and she will not be able to allocate special time for Song Yu's consultation until next month at the earliest.

Fu Jue was going back to school in the afternoon, Chu Xiuyuan didn't miss any chance, and kept asking about Song Yu's condition along the way.

Fu Jue looked at Chu Xiuyuan with admiration today. She didn't approve of Song Yu and Chu Xiuyuan being together at first. Song Yu was gay and Chu Xiuyuan was a straight man. Isn't this ruining one's youth?And Song Yu is still sick, what if he hurts Chu Xiuyuan?

Later, when she let Song Yu go, Teacher Bai suggested during the treatment that Song Yu should obey his inner thoughts, which would be good for his condition.But later she discovered that after being together, Song Yu was more anxious than before, and had many new symptoms, which were all related to Chu Xiuyuan.

Not only did it not get better, but it was getting worse. Fu Jue had no choice but to stand up and sing a bad face.But she said that Chu Xiuyuan caused Song Yu pain, but she knew very well in her heart that it was Chu Xiuyuan who was really hurt.

But what Fu Jue didn't expect was that even though he was treated like this by Song Yu, Chu Xiuyuan did not give up on him. She really never thought that Chu Xiuyuan could do so much for Song Yu.

Hearing Chu Xiuyuan say over and over again that he would do his best to cooperate with Song Yu's treatment, thinking of Chu Xiuyuan's silent forbearance after being hit in the morning, thinking of his silent tears and bloody fingers, Fu Jue's nose suddenly twitched. acid.

Song Yu, the greatest luck in his life was probably meeting Chu Xiuyuan.

In the limited time, Fu Jue briefly told Chu Xiuyuan as much as possible about Song Yu's situation.

Chu Xiuyuan frowned all the way, and gasped in surprise when Fu Jue said that Song Yu's condition was not serious.

Fu Jue smiled: "There's no surprise. Although Song Yu's symptoms are many and complicated, and he himself is extremely painful, but he was able to hide it from you for so long and still get a scholarship, which shows that the symptoms are controllable."

Lush hopes suddenly grew in Chu Xiuyuan's heart: "Then how long will it take for him to heal with all his strength?"

Fu Jue thought about it for two seconds: "According to Dr. Cao, Song Yu's comprehension is not low. If he systematically learns Morita therapy and cooperates with drug treatment, he can be completely controlled and improved within one to two years. As for the recovery...it's hard to say. "

"Why is it difficult to say?"

"Because obsessive-compulsive disorder is the most stubborn neurosis, the most complex and changeable symptoms, and the most painful disease for patients, drug therapy and various psychotherapy are difficult to be effective. The most effective Morita therapy is actually It's a kind of self-therapy, and it mainly depends on Song Yu to comprehend and overcome it." *1 Fu Jue paused for a while, "And no one can guarantee that there will be no relapse."

Chu Xiuyuan frowned: "Isn't it impossible to recover?"

"Ten years." Fu Jue said two words in a cold voice.

"what?"

"Dr. Cao said that she has a patient with obsessive-compulsive disorder, who is somewhat similar to Song Yu. It took ten years to recover. Although each patient's condition is different, we have to be prepared for the ten-year war of resistance, and 20 years is not ruled out. 30-year possibility."

"Ten years..." Chu Xiuyuan muttered, ten years later they will both be 31 years old, even if Song Yu graduated from the eight-year program, it will be five years.Ten years...

"Don't worry, since I've helped him, I'll help him to the end. I'll take over his treatment after I graduate. I'll continue to help him no matter ten or twenty years." Fu Jue's voice was cold and firm. scared."

Taking over Song Yu's treatment... Chu Xiuyuan glanced at Fu Jue thoughtfully, but didn't answer her. He kept thinking about the word ten years, or even more, two ten years and three ten years.Song Yu not only has to suffer from obsessive-compulsive disorder, but also has to suffer for ten years, maybe even indefinitely?

Chu Xiuyuan's heart was suddenly tightened, and he felt a dull pain.

Chu Xiuyuan suddenly stopped and stopped moving forward. Fu Jue looked at Chu Xiuyuan's frown and fell into deep thought. For 1 minute, 2 minutes, when Fu Jue thought that Chu Xiuyuan was really scared by ten years, he wavered in his determination Suddenly, without warning, Chu Xiuyuan's whole body tensed up, his fists curled up tightly, there was a real struggle between his brows and eyes, and his face suddenly became ferocious.

Fu Jue was startled by Chu Xiuyuan's appearance, blinked twice and called tentatively, "Chu Xiuyuan?"

"Chu Xiuyuan?"

"!" Chu Xiuyuan woke up with a gasp, and opened his mouth when he saw Fu Jue with an inexplicable expression, "Then...Did Dr. Cao say what we need to do recently?"

"Ah..." Seeing that Chu Xiuyuan had returned to normal, Fu Jue breathed a sigh of relief, "I do want to discuss this with you. The most urgent task now is to get Song Yu out of the new symptoms." He was a little embarrassed in his words.

"Cure the new symptom?" Chu Xiuyuan didn't quite understand.

Fu Jue said again: "Didn't you realize that Song Yu resisted the treatment?"

conflict?

How could there be conflict?

"He was not very frank during the treatment today. He concealed a lot of problems. I guess it's because of you."

Chu Xiuyuan thought of Fu Jue asking Song Yu twice, "Did you say it yourself, or should I say it for you?" During the treatment, their conversation was indeed not smooth, and raised his eyebrows: "Because of me?"

"I hope you can follow his ideas."

Chu Xiuyuan's mind was a little confused.

Fu Jue explained: "'Go with the flow, do what you should do' is the essence of Morita's therapy, which emphasizes 'knowing what is happening, knowing why', which can be summed up as 'don't be afraid, ignore, don't fight, let nature take its course'. "

Confused: "Is it a little abstract?"

Fu Jue: "The so-called 'not afraid' means that you don't have to be afraid of the real occurrence of worrying things. Because 'fear' is a bad state of mind caused by the patient's subjectively distorted understanding, the possibility of it happening is not high, but the patient will expand the possibility of 1% 100%. The reason for Song Yu's illness this time is because of your coming out, he is afraid that you will leave him."*2

Chu Xiuyuan understood a little bit: "Follow his thoughts, just let me come out with him?"

Fu Jue nodded: "That's what he wants to do most."

"is that useful?"

"I don't know much about Morita therapy, and the natural interpretation of the therapy is different from what I propose, but I am sure that if he knows that you are willing to come out for him, it will reduce his anxiety and help him. Better overcome new symptoms, so that he no longer resists our treatment."

This is the reason, but coming out of the closet...

Chu Xiuyuan suddenly became irritable. If he came out at school, what would his mother do?

"I told him directly, I won't leave him, can't I?"

Fu Jue shook his head seriously: "Suppose you are afraid of cockroaches, and suddenly one day, cockroaches come to you and say, you don't have to be afraid of me, will you not be afraid of cockroaches from now on?"

Chu Xiuyuan: "..." You explained it so vividly that I couldn't pretend I didn't understand it.

Fu Jue: "I know it's difficult for you, but I hope you think about it..."

Chu Xiuyuan clicked his lips irritably again, his eyebrows bulged into a mountain peak, and he sighed several times before replying: "I see."

Back in the dormitory, the three had already finished their classes and went to attend the afternoon class. Chu Xiuyuan sat back at the desk, put his hands on his forehead and thought for a long time, then got up and wandered around the dormitory again and again, digging out Song Yu's psychology textbook , touched Song Yu's silent cry, and turned out his phone to look at every text message Song Yu had sent, recalling every second of time with Song Yu, Song Yu's smile, gentle, tolerant, and pampering, he was on his own for himself Fascinated look.

He thought it through, in fact, he had thought it through before, even if these were illusions, even if Song Yu's smile, tenderness, tolerance and pampering no longer belonged to him after healed, he could not see Song Yu's pain.

For a moment, my heart hurt, Chu Xiuyuan sighed, I owed you in my previous life, even if you don't like me, I still planted on you.

Chu Xiuyuan gritted his teeth and rushed out of the campus again.

******

Mom was very surprised when she saw Chu Xiuyuan. She looked at the calendar, at the clock, and then at Chu Xiuyuan. After seeing Chu Xiuyuan, she rubbed her eyes twice and asked incredulously, "Son?"

Chu Xiuyuan suddenly hugged his mother: "I have something to ask my dad."

"Oh, he's in the kitchen." Although she wasn't looking for her, her mother happily handed Chu Xiuyuan slippers.

"How have you been recently?" Chu Xiuyuan asked.

"Okay!" The son took the initiative to care about himself, and the mother replied excitedly, "I haven't stopped taking the medicine recently, and I don't have insomnia at night!" She said the same thing as a primary school student asking for praise.

Chu Xiuyuan smiled, and suddenly found that his mother was quite cute sometimes.

Walking into the kitchen, there was a smell of smoke, and Dad was frying vegetables while smoking a cigarette.

"dad."

"Huh?" Dad didn't turn his head.

"I..." Chu Xiuyuan narrowed his eyes heavily and held his breath, "I want to talk to you."

"Let's stay and have a meal." The cigarette butt was smoked, his eyes were squinted by the oil smoke, and his speech was slurred, "We can start the meal after the green vegetables are fried."

"it is good."

During the meal, my mother’s condition seemed to be under control, and she didn’t feel depressed or anxious at all. She asked Chu Xiuyuan whether she was sleeping at home, whether it was cold at school, whether she should take the bed and quilt home, and asked Chu Xiuyuan how she was doing in the morning. Yes, has the problem been solved? He also asked him what he wanted to talk to his father about, and why he didn't talk to her too.

Dad took two chopsticks of green vegetables and stuffed them into Mom's bowl: "Let's keep a little man's secret between us father and son."

Mom felt wronged: "Okay, I won't ask."

Chu Xiuyuan raised his eyebrows slightly, these greetings that usually make Chu Xiuyuan feel annoying, but today Chu Xiuyuan didn't find them annoying at all, because when he made a decision, he forgave his mother and freed himself.

In order to prevent his mother from noticing the abnormality, he dragged his father to the balcony of the living room when she fell asleep.There are two chairs and a tea table on the balcony. My father leans on the back of the chair and looks at the bright moon in the sky. He takes out a cigarette: "The problem you want to talk to me... Do you want me to smoke a cigarette to calm down?"

"want."

Dad immediately lit it and took a sip.

Chu Xiuyuan: "More than one."

Dad's hand holding the cigarette paused: "Wait a minute." After speaking, he walked into the living room and took out two packs of cigarettes from under the back cushion.

Chu Xiuyuan: "..." There was no one hiding the smoke.

Slapping two packs of cigarettes on the coffee table: "Let's talk."

Chu Xiuyuan frowned: "It's also possible that after I finish speaking, you won't be able to smoke a single cigarette."

Dad shaved the back of Chu Xiuyuan's head: "Little Chi, I'm telling you, don't push your nose on your face."

Chu Xiuyuan smiled, suppressed the tension and apprehension in his heart, leaned on the back of the chair and looked at the bright moon as well, and said, "Dad, do you know that I wrote a composition when I was in elementary school?"

"You wrote too many compositions in elementary school."

Chu Xiuyuan blinked at the moon: "It's called my dream."

The author has something to say: *[Note] 1: Baidu Encyclopedia

*[Note] 2: "Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder Morita Therapy: Don't Be Afraid, Ignore, Don't Fight, Let It Come Naturally"

Chu Xiuyuan: Happy Children's Day!

Song Yu: We cannot celebrate Children's Day.

Chu Xiuyuan: Why?

Song Yu: Because children cannot push you against the wall, against the table, against the door, against the balcony, against the kitchen

Chu Xiuyuan: Can't you be honest and put me on the bed!