you better not like me

After Chen Yan took a shower, he sat on the sofa and watched TV, and Zhan Ke hurriedly closed all the windows in the house, poured a cup of hot water and put it on the coffee table.

Chen Yan tried his best not to look at him, but from the corner of his eye, he could still see Zhan Ke busy.

He picked up the cup to warm his hands and took a sip from time to time.

"I only found rice." Zhan Ke brought over the porridge, sat aside and stirred it with a spoon and said, "Let's make do, I'll go shopping at dawn."

After taking a bath, Chen Yan woke up. When he took the porridge from Zhan Ke, Chen Yan asked, "Why did that man come to me?"

Chen Yan thought that he should be very angry when he settled accounts with Zhan Ke.

If it wasn't for the fever yesterday, he would definitely have had a fight with Zhan Ke.

But it seems that because of his illness, he has no strength, not even the strength to get angry.

Zhao Hongcai.

When Zhan Ke thinks of this name, his brain hurts.

Speaking of Zhao Hongcai, the angrier he got, the more speechless he felt.

But this was what Chen Yan asked him.

And he should have explained this matter.

He thought for a moment, and said, "His name is Zhao Hongcai, and he is a...friend of my father. He asked me for money, but I didn't give it."

Chen Yan interrupted him, "I asked him why he came to me?"

Zhan Ke lowered his eyes and said, "He, he doesn't know where he found me and you...I'm sorry, I should be optimistic about him."

Chen Yan took a sip of porridge, but didn't speak.

Zhan Ke continued: "There won't be a next time, I will settle the matter."

"Solve it? Give him money?" Chen Yan asked coldly.

This kind of person can solve it long ago, and there is only one possibility if it is dragged to this point.

The parties are unwilling to resolve it.

Since he didn't want to solve it, and now he promised him that he would solve it, Chen Yan felt ironic when he heard it.

Zhan Ke froze for a moment, shook his head and said, "No, I've contacted a lawyer."

The fire that had just ignited in Chen Yan's heart subsided a little.

He blurted out: "Why did he ask you for money?"

As soon as the words came out, Chen Yan regretted wanting to bite his tongue off.

Driven by impulse, he wanted to know from the bottom of his heart, but he didn't allow himself to care more about Zhan Ke's affairs.

Just ask about yourself, why ask so many unnecessary questions.

Hold.

His face darkened even more, and he suddenly became angry with himself.

Zhan Ke saw that his expression was not good, and thought he was still angry about Zhao Hongcai.

After all, this kind of question is reasonable. Since Chen Yan was involved in this matter, he has the right to know the cause and effect.

As long as Chen Yan asked, he would of course tell him everything.

But it was a long story, and Zhan Ke was afraid that he would not have the patience to listen.

So he tentatively said, "He and my dad used to be classmates."

Zhan Ke observed Chen Yan, seeing that he didn't interrupt aloud, nor did he show obvious impatience, so he continued talking.

"He served my father in jail," Zhan Ke said.

When mentioning these things, Zhan Ke frowned unconsciously, staring at the foot of the coffee table as if in a daze.

Chen Yan's hand holding the spoon trembled.

"My dad promised to give him whatever he wants when he comes out." Speaking of this, Zhan Ke laughed sarcastically.

"Later he was dawdling in my dad's company and often asked for money, and my dad gave it all."

"Zhao Hongcai's wife is very beautiful. After my mother was hospitalized, my father took that woman into my home."

Zhan Ke was a little incoherent when he talked about this.

He couldn't think of how to express these things, let alone how to express them to Chen Yan.

He rarely speaks out about negative things.

In the past, it would be expressed in behavior because it was uncontrollable, but it didn't anymore.

Because Chen Yan, who was always willing to bear his negative emotions, left him.

For a moment, Chen Yan forgot that the porridge was hot.Swallowing it in a big gulp, it burned my throat, and my face wrinkled in pain.

Zhan Ke hurriedly said, "Drink some water."

Chen Yan lowered his voice, seeing that Zhan Ke stared at him and stopped talking, he urged: "Continue talking."

I have asked all the questions, and I simply listened to understand them all at once.

Zhan Ke's thoughts were pulled back, and he continued: "Then..." He thought for a while, but really didn't know how to say the rest.

"My father...married that woman, Zhao Hongcai's...ex-wife, the day after my mother passed away."

Chen Yan was stunned.

"Yes..." Chen Yan wanted to ask, was it the year he graduated from university?

Zhan Ke seemed to have guessed it. When Chen Yan only said one word, he said hoarsely: "Yes."

Zhan Ke was very afraid that Chen Yan would think of the time when they broke up, and he would regret his recklessness as soon as he said it.

He hurriedly continued, trying to bring Chen Yan back to his thoughts.

"My dad passed away not long after, and he left 80.00% of his estate to that woman. The woman promised to give Zhao Hongcai half of it, but later she disappeared with the money, and Zhao Hongcai came to me asking for money."

"My dad's company went bankrupt, and Zhan Zheng and I used all the money we got to fix the hole. I gave him 100 million."

"He likes to gamble. He probably owes money recently, so he came to me."

"When?" Chen Yan repeated: "Bankruptcy, when?"

Zhan Ke pursed his lips and said, "The year I graduated."

Chen Yan was silent.

He doesn't know anything.

"I didn't know how to tell you at the time." Zhan Ke really wanted to laugh, but as long as he mentioned that year, he couldn't laugh at all.

The expression froze on his face, staring blankly at one place in a daze.

"You said it." Chen Yan lowered his eyelashes, drinking the porridge one mouthful at a time.

"You go out early and come back late every day. You don't talk to me, and you go about doing things with a cold face every day, pretending that I don't exist. Why didn't you say it? Of course you did." Chen Yan lowered his head, Zhan Ke couldn't see his face clearly expression.

Zhan Ke paled and apologized: "I'm sorry."

If you hear too much of anything, it becomes useless.

Chen Yan could no longer have any emotional fluctuations after hearing Zhan Ke's "I'm sorry".

Probably my own sentence "I love you" many years ago is equally boring.

Chen Yan thought.

Once again there was silence between the two.

It didn't break until Chen Yan finished his porridge and stood up to take the bowl away, when Zhan Ke said, "I'll wash it."

Before dawn, Chen Yan went to the window to look out, and there were some dimly lit lights.

The words Zhan Ke said ran through his mind over and over again.

Chen Yan is a person who has no concept of family affection.

Everything that happened after Ji Yi's mother appeared, and everything that Zhan Ke said just now, were beyond his understanding.

He often laughs at himself and rejoices that other people's homes are always in turmoil, and he will always feed the whole family by himself and keep the whole family happy by himself.

His only cognition of family affection is those neighbors in the past.

When I was young, I felt that the uncles and aunts in the neighbors were very kind to me and took care of my own food.

When I grew up, I found that no one asked me if I was full.

Thinking about it later, it is kind of people to take care of other people's food, and it is right to ignore the food.

Also Zhan Ke.

During the days when he just returned to Pingjiang where there were no people or ghosts, Ji Yi sat with him on the ground holding the wine bottle, and chatted with him.When she said to Ji Yi, "You don't understand, I'm really... very sad", Ji Yi said to him with red eyes, she understands, because other people's lovelorn is just a lovelorn, and their lovelorn is completely lost.

It's the feeling that the whole world is empty.

He knew very well that the reason why he was uncomfortable was because he had put too many heavy feelings on Zhan Ke.

So this relationship was doomed from the beginning.

For him, the lack of family affection is his blessing and a pain point that he will never be able to hide.

While in a trance, Chen Yan felt a towel suddenly covering his head.

He turned around and saw Zhan Ke standing behind him.

Her hair was rubbed through a towel, and Chen Yan heard Zhan Ke say, "Don't stand by the window, it's easy to catch cold."

"There is something I want to ask you while I don't have the strength to get angry." Chen Yan was taken to the bedroom by Zhan Ke's wrist. He sat by the bed, and Zhan Ke asked softly while brushing his hair, "What?"

Chen Yan said, "When did you figure it out?"

This question seemed endless, but Chen Yan refused to say a word.

Asking this question is to take advantage of the atmosphere of this moment.

Normally, he wouldn't ask any questions.

He would rather not figure it out for the rest of his life than let Zhan Ke know his brooding.

It's just that the atmosphere at this moment is too warm, reflecting the boundless night outside, it's impossible to be fully awake in the first place.And Zhan Ke's rare gentleness.

It will make him feel in a trance that he has returned to the past.

What he has been thinking about has never been a day of suffering.

It is the rare tenderness and romance after being together.

Chen Yan knew that no matter how tough Zhan Ke was towards him, he would never give in.

Knowing that no matter how much Zhan Ke begged himself, he couldn't make him feel relieved.

I also know that he is most afraid of Zhan Ke being gentle with him.

Zhan Ke understood the abrupt question.

He saw Chen Yan's fingertips on his legs rubbing each other unnaturally, and the movement of wiping his hair became even lighter.

He swallowed to soothe his dry throat.

It was probably the first time he thought about this question.

When did he realize that he was gay.

When the words came out of his mouth, Zhan Ke faced himself for the first time——

"From the beginning."

When did he know he was gay.

from the beginning.

He knew when he would react to Chen Yan.

But he was too scared.

Afraid to try to deceive myself.

"Really." Chen Yan said.

As soon as Zhan Ke lowered his eyelids, he could see his long and dense eyelashes fluttering up and down very lightly.

Zhan Ke quickly said again: "I have never dared to admit myself. You are fine, you have always been fine."

The author has something to say: Gu Gu Gu Gu...

Here's Saturday's update

还有一章……咕咕咕感谢在2020-05-3103:12:37~2020-05-3118:56:05期间为我投出霸王票或灌溉营养液的小天使哦~

Thanks to the little angel who threw the grenade: 1 floating and sinking;

Thanks to the little angel who threw mines: Catherine1;

Thanks to the little angels of the irrigation nutrient solution: 10 bottles of New Wine, Jiaojiaoyuan Suspicion; 9 bottles of Qingshan See Me; 5 bottles of Xiaye Qingmeng, seem, Rain, PHANTACI.

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!