sleep in your heart

In the third year of Eleventh High, the Spring Festival holiday was only for a week, and then back to school, everything was as usual.

You Zeyi and Zheng Zhi returned to their previous state, and were even closer than they were at the beginning. No one raised the question about You Zeyi's sexual orientation, nor did they talk about that kiss.

It's like tacit understanding, not much to say, but understanding each other.

From time to time, Zhou Tong made some ambiguous jokes between them, but every joke that made people think about it would be followed by the sentence "Stop making trouble, I was joking".

Until April, You Zeyi's grades stabilized at around 15th in the class, and he occasionally made it into the top 100 in the whole grade, but not too many times.

The countdown to the college entrance examination has already started in the corner of the blackboard. No one will go to the physical education class.

But Zheng Zhi and Zhou Tong were not like this. They should still play and rest. Zhou Tong said: "Old You, don't stretch the string too tightly, it will break easily."

Zheng Zhi said: "Combine work with rest, don't force yourself."

Others can not force themselves, but You Zeyi can't.

He does not have the confidence and strength of Zheng Zhi and Zhou Tong, so he can only spend more time and energy on learning.

Over and over again, the question types are all the same, but occasionally some new tricks come out. At first, I feel anxious when I choose, but after I get used to it, it is like Zheng Zhi said, "Fighting with difficult problems is a lot of fun."

You Zeyi never thought that one day he would fall in love with this feeling of immersing himself in the sea of ​​questions. After finishing a set of mock questions, he would show it to Zheng Zhi, and the two of them got together to compare and score the answers. The more down-to-earth.

Occasionally You Zeyi would think of Ning Lu, but no one knew what happened to him, let alone where he went.

Zhou Tong knew a lot of people, and he found out several versions about Ning Lu's whereabouts.

Some people say that he went abroad to avoid the college entrance examination, some people say that he got some illness and went to get medical treatment. You Zeyi doesn't know which version is correct, and he has no way to verify it. He can only think of that soft boy in his heart when he finds time. Wish him all the best.

For him, the appearance of Ning Lu is of extraordinary significance. This is the first true homosexuality he has known. Ning Lu sees it more clearly than he does, and has experienced more than him. It's just a pity. , they never had a serious chat about this issue.

In the past, someone compared time to running water and huge waves, but You Zeyi felt that time is like smoke, like sand in the space, or a cloud that cannot be grasped.

When I came to this school in August, I never thought about what I would be like a few months later.

Now, at the end of April of the second year, his grades no longer make him feel ashamed of his family, and he has a best friend by his side.

It's just that the good things are short-lived. Seeing that the college entrance examination is about to come, it's time for You Zeyi to leave.

He almost forgot that he came here for borrowing, and he had to return to the original place for the last period of time, and then meet the most important exam with the students there.

Before the May Day holiday, You Zeyi was told by his aunt that he would return there after the holiday, because the school there had its own arrangements in the last month, and he had to go there.

You Ze didn't have to accept the reality that he had to be separated from Zheng Zhi until this time, but he didn't know how to tell Zheng Zhi.

For several days in a row, You Zeyi was a little absent-minded. When doing the questions, he even accidentally wrote the word "Zheng" in the exercise book. Fortunately, Zheng Zhi didn't see it, and he used a black gel pen to force the word "Zheng". Crossed out, the strength even tore the paper.

The head teacher came to announce the last collective activity before May [-]st. The school held an early graduation performance for senior high school students, and each class had to put on a show.

Time is tight and tasks are heavy, so the teacher directly asks which students have talents, but no one wants to waste time doing such things at such a time.

The homeroom teacher was a little helpless and angry: "I know what everyone is thinking, the college entrance examination is only a few days away, but this is your last group activity in high school, it is very meaningful, our grade three (13) class, the results have always been First, at this time, you can't fall behind, right?"

Everyone, look at me, I look at you, Zhou Tong said: "Teacher, I really don't know anything, how about I go up and sing a song? Heh heh, use the nunchuck quickly?"

"Come on," Zhou Tong's tablemate said with a big laugh, "You're tone-deaf, and it's not like we don't know about it."

Because of the active people, everyone finally became interested, and began to talk about what program to prepare. Some people said that it was not enough, so they sang in a chorus, and the whole class went on stage together and rowed their sculls.

The class teacher shook his head: "Class 9 chorus, I just heard what their teacher Wang said."

Everyone wailed, and then Zheng Zhi raised his hand.

"Teacher, I know how to play an instrument, and I can play and sing by myself."

You Zeyi looked at Zheng Zhi in surprise. He had never heard of Zheng Zhi's musical instruments before, but after he said this, he suddenly remembered that when they went to the library together last year, Zheng Zhi went to the music area and took a Look at a sheet music.

"I think it's okay," the head teacher finally smiled, "What do you know?"

"Piano, guitar, and drums can all be used." Zheng Zhi said, "But for performances, the guitar may be more convenient."

When Zheng Zhi said this, the girls in the class became excited again, and the handsome guy played the guitar and sang love songs, which was a scene only seen on TV.

"Old Zheng, why don't you play the guitar and I'll sing for you!" Zhou Tong didn't give up, but he was pushed under the table by his deskmate as soon as he finished speaking.

"Okay, then it's settled, Zheng Zhi, you report to me the repertoire to be performed before tomorrow afternoon." The head teacher finally got rid of his heart disease, and left the classroom contentedly.

After school at night, Zhou Tong came over and asked Zheng Zhi: "Old Zheng, what do you want to sing? Do you really not need me?"

You Ze took a look at him and said, "They all say you are tone deaf."

"...Why do you listen to their nonsense? I can sing well!" Then Zhou Tong performed what is called "incomplete tone" to a few people who hadn't left the classroom.

A song "Nunchaku" made people have a headache, Zheng Zhi patted You Ze's arm: "Hurry up, he's too noisy."

The two ran out, Zhou Tong took the schoolbag and chased after them.

"So what are you going to sing?" Even if he didn't sing on stage, Zhou Tong felt that as Zheng Zhi's good brother, he had the right to know the song in advance.

"I haven't thought about it yet." Zheng Zhi glanced at You Zeyi, "What do you want to hear?"

You Zeyi didn't expect Zheng Zhi to ask him, his ears turned red and he said, "I, I can do it. I usually listen to music very little."

Zheng Zhi nodded thoughtfully.

Walking to the entrance of the teaching building, You Zeyi and Zhou went to the dormitory building, and Zheng Zhi walked to the gate alone.

After You Zeyi walked a certain distance, he suddenly stopped, and he said to Zhou Tong, "I suddenly remembered something, go back to the classroom, you go first."

After finishing speaking, he turned around and ran back. Zhou Tong stood there, raised his eyebrows, curled his lips, and muttered: "Hey, if you want Zheng Zhi, you can find Zheng Zhi. I won't say anything."

You Zeyi ran along the track of the playground towards the gate, the area was dimly lit, but at this time the people had almost gone, and he saw Zheng Zhi from a distance.

You Zeyi slowed down his pace, did not catch up, but slowly followed behind Zheng Zhi, watched the man's back, and accompanied him all the way to the gate.

He also couldn't tell what was wrong with him, just now, he suddenly wanted to see Zheng Zhi again, perhaps because he knew in his heart that he would leave soon, even if he wanted to see the other party's back.

On the day of the graduation performance of the third year of high school, the students from other classes who performed the performances deliberately dressed up differently, but Zheng Zhi was the only one who still wore the same school uniform.

When You Zeyi and the others entered the arena, they happened to see Zheng Zhi adjusting the equipment on the stage, with an electric guitar on his shoulders, and when they looked up, the two happened to look at each other.

Zheng Zhi sang Dou Wei's "Advanced Animals" that day. You Ze heard this song once. At the mobilization meeting just after the third year of high school, the two of them shared a headset and listened to this song.

You Zeyi suddenly felt that this was a story with a beginning and an end, starting from "Advanced Animals" and ending in "Advanced Animals".

They are all high-level animals, with flesh and blood, passion and desire, they have to face the complexity of human nature and the cruelty of the world, and they also have to face the parting they don't want to face.

It's been a few days, and You Zeyi wonders if he will have a chance to meet Zheng Zhi in the future, if not, should he tell him everything he wants to say before he leaves?

At the end of the graduation performance, everyone had to go back to the classroom for evening self-study. When they came out of the gymnasium, it started to rain.

This was the first rain of the year, and it came very late, and it wasn't heavy.

Many people put their school uniforms on their heads and ran quickly to the teaching building, but You Zeyi stood still at the entrance of the gymnasium, waiting for Zheng Zhi.

After packing up, Zheng Zhi came over with the guitar on his back and stood beside him: "Why didn't you leave?"

"Wait for you." You Zeyi turned to look at him and smiled, "Zheng Zhi, I have something to tell you."

The doors at the back of the gymnasium were closed, and the administrator urged them to hurry back to the classroom.

The two stood in the same place, in front of them was the rain that fell like a teenager's mind. When You Ze looked at the person in front of him, he wished to imprint the other's face in his heart.

He opened his mouth, hesitated for a long time, and finally gave up.

There are some words that I still can’t say, obviously “I’ve been secretly liking you all this time” has already reached my lips, but as soon as the words come out, it becomes: “I won’t come after May [-]st.”

Zheng Zhi frowned, and asked him, "Why? The college entrance examination is coming soon, where are you going?"

"I'm a borrower, and I have to go back to my place of study before the college entrance examination." You Zeyi said, "It's a pity that I can't go to the battlefield with you here."

Later, many years have passed, Zheng Zhi and You Zeyi still remember that day.

During the first rain that year, it was already dark outside, and the dim street lights made the whole world ambiguous. There was an inexplicable feeling between them, but no one had the courage to face it.

After all, they are still young.

After all, they can't even see themselves clearly.

How to like someone, should you like someone, this is a difficult problem for them at the age of eighteen or nineteen.