Human food sex

"Or... let's turn the rug upside down."

Lu Yuanzhou rolled his eyes, looked at the base of the sofa, and said with a smile, "Look, the bottom of this sofa is quite low. If you turn the carpet over there, you may not be able to find the frozen snails in three or two years."

Haiwan staggered over, thought for a long time, and asked uncertainly: "Is it not good? Didn't it destroy his things, and he still doesn't admit it?"

"Are you a national moral model?" Lu Yuanzhou rolled his eyes, "It's actually a psychological problem. The frozen snail knows that there is this dirt, so he can't eat or sleep, but if he doesn't know, he can't see it. , it’s the same as if it’s dirty. Anyway, the carpet is here, you didn’t set him on fire. As long as he doesn’t respond when he uses it, it doesn’t matter if he can’t see it or not.”

"Your words are too philosophical, can you do it?" Even though he asked, Haiwan felt relieved. "Otherwise, wash it first, and then... turn it upside down."

Lu Yuanzhou nodded, and just stood up, when he heard the doorbell ringing suddenly, he was startled unconsciously.

He picked up the sofa cushion and threw it on the tomato stains, ran to the door to peek through the cat's eyes, and turned around, "It's not a frozen snail, it's an aunt."

"By the way, it's auntie nanny." Haiwan signaled him to open the door, went to the bedroom to take out the envelope containing the money, and came out, "Hello auntie, I'm Mr. Chi's...roommate, he asked me to give you this month's salary. "

In the living room, Lu Yuanzhou was staring at a middle-aged woman with curly hair and an amiable complexion. The auntie in a light blue chiffon shirt looked carefully at Haiwan in a white shirt, nodded and said, "Okay, thank you, young man. Is he not at home, sir?"

"He's on a business trip." Lu Yuanzhou raised his hand and winked at Hai Wan, who immediately sat down on the ground, covering the abrupt pillow.

"I'm on a business trip. I thought I went to work." The aunt regained her composure and said with a familiar smile, "Are you two young men relatives of Mr. Chi? I've been here for several years and I've never seen him." Someone has been here before. No, no, there was also a very beautiful little girl.”

"We are his friends." Without hesitation, Lu Yuanzhou took out the peach sauce that Chi Gui made last night, and scooped a spoonful of it with a small spoon. Before he could pour the water, Haiwan grabbed his hand first: "Don't do this Yes, you want to drink... I'll go downstairs and buy it for you."

"Then I won't, I'll just drink this." He took out the remaining half bottle of sparkling water and unscrewed the cap.

"No... you can drink orange juice, I'll squeeze it for you." The old landlord in the bay picked up the peach jar like a gold ingot, and said with a smile, "I'll squeeze it for you now. You don't like peaches anyway. Oranges don't like peaches. If you can add sparkling water, I’ll make it for you, it’s definitely better than peach water.”

Lu Yuanzhou hummed, and the refrigerator door slammed: "Stingy! I don't drink orange juice, you squeeze me tomato juice, I'm going to lie down on the sofa and drink it."

Without waiting for Haiwan to open his mouth, Auntie poked her head out of the laundry room and said, "I don't dare to drink on the sofa. Mr. Chi likes to be clean. A little splash will kill you."

"What's a terrible way?" Lu Yuanzhou peeled a piece of chocolate and brought it to his aunt's mouth, and asked flatteringly, "Auntie, tell me, what's a terrible way?"

"Oh, you don't know." The aunt put away the bed sheet and said, "Mr. Chi is a very clean person. The nanny who used to work here spilled some tea on the sofa in his room when he was cleaning up. He was fired from his job!"

Lu Yuanzhou glanced at the pale-faced and panic-stricken Haiwan, deeply relieved, and said flatteringly: "Auntie, you speak so nicely, you must be from the south of the Yangtze River! Apart from being fired, did the person pay for the sofa? Auntie, we Let's chat for a while."

Originally, he was outstanding in appearance, and he was young and small, so he was usually related to elders.The aunt was coaxed by him with a few words, and she immediately smiled: "You young people, your mouth is so sweet, it's like honey. I don't know if the compensation is paid, but I heard that Mr. Chi's sofa was replaced with a new one." .”

Haiwan heard this, looked at the pillow on the ground, and frowned even tighter.He put the peach jar back into the refrigerator, took out two oranges, squeezed the juice and handed it to Lu Yuanzhou: "Don't be angry, you love orange juice the most."

"I'm going to drink on the sofa." Lu Yuanzhou deliberately dangled with the orange juice, looked at Haiwan's hands and feet dancing in worry, and suddenly felt refreshed, "Okay, okay, seeing how scared you are, I won't go to the sofa Not enough? You call your aunt, she might be able to wash the carpet."

"But what if she tells Chigui?" Haiwan whispered, "I'm sure I'm doomed, and I really can't afford it for such an expensive price."

Lu Yuanzhou shook his head, went to the laundry room to say a few words, took his aunt to the carpet, lifted the pillow and asked, "Look, this is it. Is there a way to wash it off?"

"My mother, you've broken in!" The aunt was straightforward like a northerner, and directed Haiwan to the laundry room to get a plastic bottle and scrub brush, poured some pungent-smelling water on the stain, and gently brushed Said: "Wash it with ammonia water, maybe it will fall off. Oh, it must not be the same as before, you have to talk to Mr. Chi about it."

Lu Yuanzhou knew that she was afraid of taking responsibility, and he was even more afraid that Chi Gui would get angry and fire her, so he said: "Don't worry, Auntie, Chi Gui was there when we two stained the carpet. He asked you to ask about it, and he also said to ask you Vacuum the carpet twice more, and wipe the living room clean to avoid dust accumulation."

"That's good, Mr. Chi knows." Auntie breathed a sigh of relief, "He is the cleanest person I have ever met. I usually have to be extra careful when doing things. But he is very nice, and his salary is paid on time. Yes, and there are often dishes for me to take home. His craftsmanship is really good, and we don’t need to intervene in cooking.”

Haiwan suddenly felt sour, and sat beside him and asked, "Did he often bring you vegetables back?"

"That's not true." The aunt said, "When we meet, I only bring it once in a while. The time when Mr. Chi will come back is uncertain, and sometimes I can't meet him. But no matter how late, he cooks every day. He It’s just one person, I don’t eat much, and there are always leftovers, which are good things. It’s a pity to throw them away, so I took them back. Speaking of which, Mr. Chi is so good, he looks really good, and he is capable, You have banknotes, you can cook, how can you not beg for a wife! The little girl now has eyes that grow to the top of her head, like the scar on the monk's head."

The words made both Lu Yuanzhou and Haiwan laugh, and she asked again: "Hey, do you two have girlfriends? If not, can auntie introduce you to two? People who are so old should start a family."

Haiwan hurriedly waved his hands: "No, no, I'm not yet of marriageable age."

"What are you afraid of? Let's talk about it first. It's time to reach the age after the discussion." The aunt put the scrub brush aside, and looked at the carpet carefully in the sun: "Here, it's washed off. It's just that the color is not right. , and the blanket didn't feel good to the touch."

The tomato stain disappeared without a trace, replaced by a white to faded mark, shaped like a fried egg, the texture felt astringent when viewed from a distance, and there was no need to touch it.

After the aunt left, Haiwan and Lu Yuanzhou moved the sofa, and the carpet was turned halfway, and he suddenly regretted: "Don't turn it around, why do I feel guilty when I think of lying to him?"

"What are you talking about? It's not the first time I've lied to someone." Who hasn't told a few lies since he was a child, "I've moved here, just turn around and forget it."

Haiwan hesitated for a moment, exchanged the carpet with him, and put it back on the sofa.

The next day when he went to the restaurant, Xu He, considering his performance yesterday, only let him stand in the corner and watch, and he was not allowed to come forward to greet customers, and was not allowed to serve food and drink.

Standing dry until noon, before leaving get off work, Haiwan heard from the chef that the guests who came today have light tastes, and they don't like dishes that are heavy in salt and oil.

When he came home, he saw Xu He writing in the dressing room under the glare of the white woven lamp. He didn't know what he was writing. As soon as he came in, he hurriedly put away the notepad and hid it behind him.

Haiwan pretended not to notice, greeted him, changed his clothes and went out.

It is still cool today, but the midday sun is still not to be underestimated.After the carpet matter came to an end, his mood also rose. Seeing the oily cockroaches on the side of the road, he didn't feel dry and hot, but rather cute.

After a cup of tea, I waited until the sun went down, and it was almost six o'clock when I got home.Haiwan pulled out an induction cooker and cooked himself a bowl of vermicelli, which he sweated profusely with olives and vegetables from the supermarket.

After taking a shower, he clicked on the social software, and saw that Xing Jiaran had posted a picture of lobster sashimi, Lu Yuanzhou had posted a picture of a family banquet full of delicacies, and Lin Cheng had posted a picture of barbecued skewers at a party. Coincidentally, Fang Nan also updated took a picture of grilled wings.

Originally, I felt that although my dinner was not rich, at least it could be called sweet, but now I touched my slightly swollen stomach, and suddenly felt that it was tasteless.

It was another day of turmoil, Haiwan returned home with the same slumped spinach on sale, and when he opened the door, he smelled a strong smell of meat.

"You're back!" Chi Gui's busy figure wearing an apron in front of the counter was like an iron ironing out the sluggishness of the bay.

His hair was a little long, half of his eyes were covered, which made his jaw line clear and smooth.Chigui's profile is very three-dimensional, the base of the nose is high when viewed from the side, the peak of the lips is raised, and a crescent moon is formed in the middle of the person.The chin is not round and sharp like the bay, but slightly concave in the middle, with a shallow beauty groove, which makes him look resolute and sexy.

"Disinfect your hands and change your clothes, don't just stand there stupidly." Chi Gui said coldly, "I have business to talk to you after dinner, put down the dishes."

Haiwan subconsciously glanced at the carpet, handed him the spinach, washed his hands and changed clothes anxiously, and came out, leaning on the kitchen counter and asking: "What do you want to talk about...Is there something wrong with me?"

"Eat first, and then we'll talk after eating." He said inexplicably.

"No, if you don't tell me, I won't be able to eat." Thinking of the ensuing storm, Haiwan would not be able to eat happily.

Holding a wooden tong in his hand, Chi Gui was frying fish cakes in a frying pan.Shredded horseshoe makes the cod meat looser, with egg liquid and starch, it is smooth, refreshing and easy to shape.

The one-inch-thick fish cakes are round, golden and burnt on both sides, wrapped in Thai sweet chili sauce, and served with sesame seeds and black pepper. The taste is enough to overwhelm all the photos in the social circle.

Haiwan turned a blind eye, and asked with the corner of his mouth in his mouth, "Is something wrong?"

Chigui found two white porcelain bowls painted with gold, filled two bowls of white rice, spread a layer of shredded seaweed, added bright yellow sea urchin and orange-red fish roe, and put them in front of him: "It's nothing, it's about the restaurant. It's about your studio."

"Oh, let's talk about it after dinner." Haiwan breathed a sigh of relief, grabbed his chopsticks and said with a smile: "You have cooked so many dishes today, and you have no place to eat."

In addition to fried fish cakes, there is also a can of braised beef brisket on the table, baked mushrooms with ham in a dry pot, corn crab with egg yolk, broccoli in soup, chicken gizzards with pickled peppers, and a bowl of Hang Sanxian.

Haiwan suddenly remembered the magazine that Lu Yuanzhou read - "Its dishes are a fusion of East and West, running through South and North".At present, Sichuan and Guangdong are gathered together, Yunnan and Zhejiang are gathered together, and Japanese sea urchin rice is added, which really echoes this sentence.

"I've been in the United States for two days, and I just want to eat Chinese food." Chi Gui brought him a bowl of spinach and pork liver soup, "With your usual appetite, you can definitely finish it, so you don't have to waste it."

Although there are many plates on the table, the portion of each dish is not big, perhaps it is intentional, trying to renovate the pattern, not to fill the dishes with pots and piles.

Haiwan bit off half of the fish cake, which was crispy on the outside and tender on the inside, and took two mouthfuls of rice, then swallowed it with the soup, and added chicken gizzards and broccoli.

The beef juice is poured over the rice, adding a mellow and rich aroma, and the sea urchin is also sublimated.Jinhua ham has a burnt taste, and broccoli is wrapped in the freshness and sweetness of the broth. The two are eaten together and the dried mushrooms complement each other. Swallowing it in one bite, the five flavors are delicious, the bottom of the tongue is full of body fluid, and the teeth and cheeks are fragrant.

Haiwan ate until he was dizzy, the last grain of rice was stuffed into his stomach, and he was stretched out on the chair, unable to move.

Chi Gui put away the bowls and chopsticks, smiled and said, "According to your way of eating, you won't be able to take pictures again soon."

"What can I do, who told you to cook so many dishes every day, and make them so delicious!" He deeply felt that knowing how to cook is the source of his weight, "You were not at home two days ago, and I only ate clear water vermicelli with pickles Come on, a little movement will burn off the calories."

"Do you eat dried noodles?" Chi Gui frowned and asked, "Did you not touch the rice left in the refrigerator?"

Haiwan was in a state of trance after the meal. Hearing this, he was stunned for a moment, and then said: "No, did you save the food?"

Chi Gui opened the freezer drawer, and the two boxes of bento were lying there intact.He opened the lid and sniffed. The smell had already gone bad, so he dumped it into the trash can.

"Why didn't you leave a note, it's too wasteful!" Haiwan regretted, but it was a love bento specially made for him by frozen snails-naturally, the word "love" is purely forcibly beautified.

"I sent you a message, but who did you not see?" He said indifferently, "I made it casually, if it breaks, it will break."

Haiwan Bianzui muttered: "I made it casually, and the dishes for my aunt are also made casually. Where do you have so many hands, you know how to cook!"

"What are you muttering about?" Chi Gui cleaned the lunch box, took out the dishes from the dishwasher, dried them one by one, and put them in the disinfection cabinet. "Go and close the curtains, I have something to talk to you."

Haiwan let out an "oh", and walked slowly to the balcony, blocking the sunset glow from the curtains, turned around and heard Chi Gui muttering to himself: "Why is the sofa crooked, and the carpet is also crooked."

"..." The temperature in the room dropped to the extreme in an instant, and there was a battle between heaven and man in Haiwan's heart. One voice said that you should not lie or owe debts, and another voice said that the carpet is too expensive and the consequences are too heavy.He clenched the seam of his trousers with his right hand, hesitated for a moment, then stepped forward and said, "I, I broke through... big."

"What?" Chi Gui raised his eyebrows and asked.

Haiwan swallowed, and said, "I stained your carpet..."