moon illusion

A year is neither long nor short.

Except occasionally in the dead of night, Yun Zaiye would be alone in the dormitory and recall the incident that seemed to have happened not long ago, and then comfort himself while feeling annoyed.

There is still less than half a year left before leaving here.

Although it is a foreign country, the friendly classmates and the teachers who take special care of him will still make him miss the life here.

If it wasn't for that person and that incident, then his life at this moment should be better.

As soon as he came out of the teacher's office, Yun Zaiye paused and walked towards the dining room.

The renovated coffee shop on the first floor has to be said to be a good place for afternoon tea.

Of course, for Yun Zaiye, it is also a good place to be in a daze.

After ordering a glass of Blue Mountain, Yun Zaye picked up the glass and walked towards a window seat.The afternoon sun was not so bright, but a glimmer of light peeked out from behind the thin clouds, and through the huge French windows of the cafe, it shone deeply and shallowly on Yun Zaye's body, leaving behind patches of shadows.

He put the coffee he took a sip on the table, then leaned back slightly, and looked up at the seat opposite.

It was in this location about a year ago, also on a not too sunny afternoon.Just as Yun Zaiye came out of the laboratory, he was brought here by Little Sun.

At that time, Yun Zaiye had almost just returned to school, and while worrying about the entanglement with Qi Fengyao after returning to China, he ran between the office and the laboratory every day, almost getting a bed in the laboratory.

Although Little Sun doesn't quite know the reason behind this relationship, but he also heard Yun Zaiye mention a few words, so he probably understands what happened.

Little Sun watched Yun Zaiye overloading his body and energy with his studies every day, while he was anxious to help him share something, but at the same time he didn't know what he should do.

So I can only use more thoughts and make fewer mistakes in the laboratory, so that Yun Zaiye doesn't have to stay up late to check the data for himself.So when Yun Zaiye was too busy to touch the ground, he could only bring him dinner and put it at the door of his dormitory.So I can only watch him staring at a certain place in a daze when he is occasionally free, and then open a topic quietly so that he will stop thinking about the boy named Qi Fengyao.

Fortunately, God saw his dedication and hard work, and gave him a chance to help Yun Zaiye relax a little.

When he was helping the teacher to fill in the experimental data and experimenter information form, he saw Yun Zaiye's personal information, and thus knew Yun Zaiye's birthday on March [-]rd.

Fortunately, there was still time, so under Little Sun's careful preparation, Yun Zainye, who was so busy in the laboratory that day that he forgot his birthday, brought a stack of experimental data and report documents to the coffee shop by Little Sun.

As soon as he was seated, before Yun Zaye could react, Little Sun left him alone, and then ran to the counter quickly.

After a while, Little Sun walked over pushing a birthday cake, decorated with beautiful chocolate chips and fruits, and symbolically inserted a few candles.

"Happybirthday! Wild, happy birthday!!!"

Little Sunshine walked over pushing the cake, and sang a birthday song in not-so-standard Chinese to the beat of the cafe staff clapping their hands.

Yun Zaiye was obviously still out of the situation, and the half-turned documents just got stuck in his hand, and he looked up at Little Sun in a daze.

"Zaiye, come and make a wish!" Little Sun urged Yun Zaiye while protecting the candle with his hand.

Only then did Yun Zaiye vaguely remember his forgotten birthday today.

It wasn't until he finished making his wish in a daze and everyone around him began to applaud and bless him that Yun Zaiye woke up and looked at Little Sun.

I saw Comrade Little Sun at this time, like a little sun, showing a huge smile at Yun Zaiye, then lowered his head and began to cut the cake seriously.

Yun Zaiye calmed down a little, and looked up at the little sun again.

Compared with the first time we met, Little Sun has grown a lot taller, as if he has almost caught up with his own height.His blond hair still did not live up to his title of "Little Sun", but it was grown a lot longer than before. It was brushed back with hairspray, looking like an extravagant little prince.

In a trance, a small plate of cake was handed in front of Yun Zaiye.Little Sun raised his chin, signaling Yun Zaiye to quickly accept the sweet baptism, and then sat opposite him with a piece in his arms, eating with more relish than Yun Zaiye himself.

While chatting, the two shared the not-so-small birthday cake.

It's strange, even a person like Yun Zaiye who doesn't like sweets ate a lot of cakes that afternoon.

It must have been a long time since they could relax without distraction. The two chattered a lot that day, and finally they went back to the dormitory together after dividing up the piece of cake.

It was the first time in a long time that I told the story between myself and Qi Fengyao to another person in such detail.

In fact, rather than telling others, it is better to say that I am remembering it for myself.

After the speech, Yun Zaiye was always worried about what Little Sun would say.After all, what happened between Ren Zhiyuan and him, as well as the so-called homosexuality, should be far away from him in Little Sun's world.

But to Yun Zaye's surprise, Little Sun didn't show too much reaction to the things he told.

On the contrary, he told Yun Zaiye to protect himself and not to easily trust anyone who is suddenly friendly to him.

Yun Zaiye nodded, looked at Little Sun, and listened to his long speech.

Little Sun really said a lot that day, Yun Zaiye couldn't remember clearly.

But there was one sentence that Yun Zaiye remembered very clearly.There was still some cream on the corner of Little Sun’s mouth, but the seriousness in his eyes could not be ignored. He told Yun Zaiye with certainty—“About love, if someone likes me, I like the other person at the same time. Whether it’s a man or a woman is irrelevant. It's important."

Sitting here now, thinking about the conversation between the two, Yun Zaiye realized belatedly that Little Sun has grown a lot in the past two years.Compared with the previous careless person who had no city government, he was completely different.

Suddenly, a feeling that had been gone for a long time swept over Shangyun Zaiya's heart again.It is the reluctance to say goodbye to a relationship that I cherish especially.

Probably complementary personalities, Little Sun's sincerity and cheerfulness are all expected and valued by Yun Zaiye.

That's why when I think of the imminent separation, I immediately fall into a sad mood.

When a person is alone, such feelings are evoked by memories, then everything related to such feelings will come to mind in turn.

So, inevitably, he thought of Qi Fengyao.

A year ago, he left his country and the person he loved so much with almost the same reluctance.

Rather than leaving, it is better to say escape.

Because he didn't dare to face it, Yun Zaiye never returned home or saw him in this year.

It's not that I don't want to, but it's because I think too much, so I dare not face it, for fear that my appearance will once again break the peaceful life that the other party has finally established.

I saw a sentence before, and I just glanced at it in a hurry, but later, this sentence became a good medicine for me to restrain my thoughts and comfort my impulse every time.

"The gods will give you everything you want before punishing you."

So he often doubts the meaning of pursuing beauty.When the things we love really appear in front of me, should I be happy or panic

That's a question, but no one has an exact answer.

Just like Yun Zaiye is trying to restrain himself, but Qi Fengyao is trying to learn to forget.

In fact, forgetting is not a difficult thing for Qi Fengyao, you just need to fully accept all the consequences of this matter, whether good or bad, and then slowly get used to it and digest it, then the last thing will be over. forgotten.

Such as the death of parents, such as that not-so-good summer, such as that trip, such as the appearance of the promise, such as... Yun Zaiye's departure.

In fact, it is very easy to forget this incident, but the difficult thing is to fully accept that this incident happened.

That was the person I loved for four years, but because of such a bad thing, I quit my life.

He was not reconciled at first, he blamed Yun Zaiye, why didn't he give him more trust, believed that he could understand him and tolerate him.

Later, he blamed himself, because he didn't give him a safe enough environment, so he accidentally lost him.

Later, most of his emotions were taken up by longing.

He began to miss the past all the time, and what he recalled was all his smiles, his tenderness and brightness, and his goodness of attracting people to keep chasing him, without any embarrassment or filth.

But after a period of time like this, he found that there is a difference between memory and reality after all.

And what he needs to do is not to hold the memories and feel sorry for himself, but to start a new life, meet new friends, and have a new life.

With Meng Yuan's help, he also has a few friends, and occasionally goes to barbecue stalls off-campus with his classmates to eat skewers, and also goes to Internet cafes with friends to play games all night...

Everyone felt that he had changed, that he had another better life.But no one really knows that the life he is living now is the one he once loved and had.

Because I tried and couldn't forget it, I chose another path, lived like that person, and tried my best not to look for the shadow of that person in my memory.