moon illusion

The peaceful atmosphere just now suddenly became tense.

But it was different, there was no quarrel or violence, just two people sat quietly and looked at each other, one was puzzled and the other didn't care.

"Is it a promise?" After a long silence, Meng Yuan finally spoke.

He knew he shouldn't ask, but he still wanted to know, why did this happen?Doesn't Qi Fengyao have someone he likes?Where was that person placed by him...?

"It's not her, it's the other one." Qi Fengyao seemed to be waiting for this question, and answered with the corners of his mouth raised, "But a while ago...it was her."

...Meng Yuan looked at Qi Fengyao in disbelief, trying to see a hint of a joke from that familiar face.However, even though there was a cynical smile on that face, there was no hint of a joke.Whether it's tone or eyes, they are telling themselves...these things are true.

"Then you... love, no, have you ever liked them?"

Please, Qi Fengyao, give me the answer I want to hear, so that I can still lie to myself, I can still work hard to understand you, I can still try my best to agree with your approach, I... what else can I do Woolen cloth?

"No, just for fun."

The answer came out of Qi Fengyao unobtrusively, it was not the answer he wanted to hear, but it was the answer he expected.

Qi Fengyao has changed, is different, he doesn't know him anymore.

Meng Yuan sat on the sofa, looking at the carpet under his feet, a nameless anger rushed into his heart, he kept restraining, but the picture in his mind became more and more clear——

"I'm not afraid to be silent in this bad era. I'm afraid. Like many people, I am most addicted to resentment and carnival... When the good times come, I find myself empty-handed. I am worn down by boredom and sadness. Can't bring out anything decent, dedicated to a life full of tears..."

"Many people like to be lazy when they need to do their best, and they feel insecure when they see others working hard. In the end, they continue to relax with this kind of anxiety in a fake way, but embarrassingly expose their anxiety in the details. .don't be that kind of person..."

"We ran into a problem, try again."

"Everyone is fighting their own battle, so don't give in no matter what."

……

These are what Qi Fengyao told him when he wanted to give up.How can such a person who looks cold and indifferent but is actually gentle in his bones choose to give up on himself when he is trying to save others?

He was obviously so firm and upright in the past, but why did he seem to be a different person when he came to Nanchuan, where he had always dreamed of?

"Fengyao, you...why do you do this?"

Meng Yuan tightly covered his face with his hands, a choked sob escaped from his throat, but tears still flowed out of his fingers disobediently.

Qi Fengyao, please say something, whatever you say is good, I believe you, I don't want to do this, tell me you are still the same you before, tell me you haven't changed!

"Meng Yuan." Finally, Qi Fengyao said, "I'm not interested in anything. I smoke cigarettes that cost three to five yuan, drink liquor and beer, swear and fight... Yes, I feel that life It sucks, so I advise you not to know me."

They still said it out, they still heard it, no matter how hard the two of them tried to escape, they were still pushed here by various things.

"Okay." Meng Yuan wiped his face with the back of his hand, stood up and walked to the door, "Then... goodbye."

It was noon, and the sun-baked ground was constantly steaming upwards, which made Meng Yuan, who was already depressed, even more irritable.Standing on the street, looking at the crowds and traffic around him, he suddenly felt so small and ordinary.

Seeing his best friend become like this, he can only feel sad, but he can't do anything at all...

The moment the door closed, the room returned to the quietness that a person should have.

Finally, he forced everyone around him away.It's really ridiculous, while pitifully wishing others to look at him, but at the same time pushing everyone around him away without hesitation.Obviously wishing that someone would accompany her so much, but she couldn't help but say the most hurtful words...

Fortunately, Yun Zaiye did not see him like this.

Mi Xiu probably sensed his master's depressed mood, so he walked over and rubbed against Qi Fengyao's calf, making a "woo hoo" sound.

"Are you comforting me?" Qi Fengyao touched Mi Xiu's head, "Now you are the only one with me."

Qi Fengyao stood up, walked to the balcony, took out a cigarette from his pocket, lit it and exhaled slowly, one after another smoke rings floated into the air, like a teenager's unknown thoughts.

Yun Jae-ye was standing in the night at two o'clock in the morning in the United States at this time, unexpectedly he hadn't rested yet.

He had just finished the experiment and was on his way back to the dormitory.

Today's moonlight is very good, but everyone has already rested.But it doesn't matter, so that I can enjoy this piece of moonlight to myself.

Yun Zaiye smiled, lit a cigarette, and sat on a bench beside the path, looking at the moonlight that temporarily belonged to him tonight.

He likes the night very much and looks at the moon very much.Because the sun warms all things but can only enjoy loneliness, while the moon is cold at night but has stars to save it.

However, on July 1969, 7, the largest murder in human history occurred. Apollo 20 killed the moon, and people have been deprived of their dreams ever since.

A cigarette was exhausted in the evening wind, Yun Zaye got up and patted the wrinkled hem of his clothes, looked at the moon hanging in the sky, turned and walked back to the dormitory.

Soon, there are four more times, and he can completely say goodbye to the bad past.

After class in the afternoon, Qi Fengyao rode to Find, but...it was too early, and the door hadn't been opened yet.

Hanging the helmet on the handlebar, Qi Fengyao turned and walked into a small shop next door.

"Boss, I want a bowl of fish meal."

"Okay, come right away!" The boss responded angrily.

Qi Fengyao turned his head and looked at this small shop - some yellowed table tops, some stains on the floor, and the electric fan on the wall weakly blowing a cool breeze...

"Come here, be careful!" The boss came over with the fish meal and interrupted Qi Fengyao's gaze.

"OK, thanks."

Qi Fengyao took a sip of the soup and stopped suddenly.

Whether it's the store or the taste, it's like the one my grandma used to take me to eat when I was a child...

When we walked out of the shop after eating, it was already dark.The bar next door is already open, and there is a glimmer of light under the heavy door.

Qi Fengyao pushed open the door and walked in.The same voices, the same cups of wine... Qi Fengyao turned sideways to avoid the twisting crowd, and walked to the previous booth.

There are people.

Qi Fengyao looked around, the booth next door was empty, so Qi Fengyao sat in that booth.

After a while, the waiter came over and asked him what drinks he wanted.Qi Fengyao waved his hand and asked, "I'm looking for someone, is your boss there?"

"Ah, you are looking for sister, I will help you find it, just wait a moment."

The waiter bowed, turned and walked into the crowded crowd.

Looking for sister?I don't even know her name... However, the bar is called Find, so it should be correct.

While in a trance, Qi Fengyao was suddenly patted on the shoulder.Turning his head, what he saw was that familiar face.

"What? Missed me so soon?" The woman reached out from behind the sofa to wrap her arms around Qi Fengyao's shoulders, and a few strands of hair fell on Qi Fengyao's chest.

Qi Fengyao smiled, "Yeah, isn't this just missing you?"

The smile on the woman's face stagnated, and then she came over and sat beside Qi Fengyao, "I don't believe it, what do you want from me?"

"It's all right." Qi Fengyao smiled brightly, "I just want to come and have a look."

"Someone told you that your smile is so fake?" The woman sneered, took a sip of the wine in her hand.

"Not really, but someone said he was handsome."

"You are interesting." The woman smiled, "Come to chat with me? Then go up..."

After speaking, he got up and walked towards the stairs, and Qi Fengyao also stood up and followed quickly.

It was still the same room, but the mess and ambiguity of yesterday had long since disappeared, and it had returned to the cleanliness and loneliness it should have had.

"Sit down, what do you want to drink?" The woman took out a cup and asked.

"Plain water, thank you."

"Hahaha come to the bar and don't drink? You are so interesting!"

"I never drink, I just come here to find..." He suddenly stopped.

After hearing nothing, the woman came over with a glass of water, "What are you looking for? Are you looking for me?"

"It's not all..." Qi Fengyao took the water and smiled, "Looking for peace of mind."

The woman seemed to have heard some big joke, and suddenly let out a series of mocking laughter, "What did you say? Looking for Xin'an? You came to the bar to find Xin'an?"

"It's kind of funny, but I mean it."

Probably because Qi Fengyao's attitude was too sincere, the woman stopped laughing suddenly, as if she believed this ridiculous statement.

"Let's get to know each other, my name is Mo Xun." The woman stretched out her hand and looked at Qi Fengyao.

"Qi Fengyao, nice to meet you." Qi Fengyao stretched out his hand to hold the hand, and said slowly.

"What do you want to talk about?"

"I don't know... Whatever you want, whatever you say is fine, as long as you don't stop."

Hearing this, Mo Xun smiled, took a sip of the wine in front of him, "Those who can come here to find peace of mind are probably those who are trapped by love?"

Qi Fengyao smiled, but did not speak.

"You don't want to talk about it?"

"...There is nothing to talk about." Qi Fengyao leaned back on the back of the sofa, "It's just that the person I like doesn't like me."

Expected.

"Naturally, things like this happen every day in this bar of mine. There is nothing to be sad about. There are many people who can't love you, but you are just the most inconspicuous one among those thousands of people." Mo Xun He didn't look at Qi Fengyao again, but said to himself, "I've seen people who cut their wrists to keep the one they love, I've seen people who forced themselves to die in order to get the one they love... What about you? What have you done?"