love you like a song

I am in my 60s this year.

My memory is not as good as before, and sometimes I will forget some things and some people.But whenever I look up old photos, I will think of you in a daze.

Many years ago, I wanted to write you this letter.

Lily, do you remember when we first met?

I am very smart, and I can still exist as the number one pervert in mathematics in the province without attending classes.I always thought I was invincible - until I met you in high school.

We are like hit and miss, every time you take an exam, you can always be a little bit higher than me.I acted very open-minded on the surface, but in my heart I have been brooding all the time.

The first confrontation between me and you was after school one day.

That year, I was 13 years old, the same age as you.

I saw you standing alone in the sunset, and for some reason, I ran over cheaply, talked to you, and said. "Hey, are you leaving?" (obviously looking for something to say)

You didn't reply to me, with a "who are you" expression on your face.

I declared myself confidently. "I'm Rowling from the math team."

"Who?"

"you do not know me?"

I was shocked because I saw you shaking your head expressionlessly.

"We went to the training class for the AMC math competition together. I was the class leader, don't you remember?"

"..."

"You really don't remember? Every time I take the exam, I sit behind you (our exams are arranged according to the ranking). In the first exam, I was five points lower than you, and in the second time, I was eight points. Last time, I almost overtook you." , just one point short, "

Your expression is very innocent, I guess you must want to say something to relieve the embarrassment, but this task is really too difficult for you, you thought for a long time before you could say something.

"Then make persistent efforts."

Then, I waved my sleeves and drifted away, leaving me stunned.

Since I was a child, I have always been a child of someone else's family, who is outstanding, obedient, and considerate.But in fact, I am very playful, and I never suffer.

I remember that when I was young, others bullied me, and I hadn't raised my fist yet.When I saw my aunt approaching, I immediately fell to the ground, hugged my head, lay on the ground and howled in pain, and the whole process was done in one go.

So, the child was beaten up by his mother.

But you, Lily, are the only one who made me feel defeated.

Because I am so impressed, I want to beat you.

Think during the day, think at night.

It's you almost all the time.

I finally got an opportunity.

——The teacher said that the seats will be allocated.

That was the fastest running moment in my life. I grabbed my schoolbag and ran to your side, and sat down without any explanation.Even though I know no one will rob me.

You look back at me, I still remember that you were still doing the questions.

I smile at you with embarrassment.

You just looked at me blankly, didn't speak, and didn't glance at me until you finished the questions in your hands.

"Are you seeking the limit?" I strike up a conversation with you.

At that time, the teacher taught the limit that day, and everyone was doing this kind of problem. You put down the pen with a 'snap', changed the refill, wrote again, and said coldly. "Surface integral."

So, we became tablemates like this.

Thinking about it is really nostalgic.

Lily, do you remember that incident?

I often think about secretly happy things.

It was a time when I had a pretty major surgery and I couldn't feel my whole back because of nerve damage from the surgery.I rarely mention it, and almost no one knows about it.

One day during self-study, the math problems were too boring, and everyone was very tired. The girl behind me played guessing characters on the back of his desk on a whim.After playing for a few rounds, she suddenly asked me to sit upright, and began to write on my back with great interest.

I was dumbfounded because I didn't feel anything at all.

I shook my head and said 'don't know', she wrote another one, and I still shook my head.

She didn't believe it, said.

"Rowling, are you pretending? It's so simple, how could you not guess it?"

It was an embarrassing moment.If you don't explain it, you can't justify it.After explaining it, my self-esteem couldn't get over it, and I was at a loss for a while, and I was about to cry.

At this time, you who were doing the question suddenly said something.

"Let me do it."

At that time, although you and I were at the same table, as two opposing parties, we still rarely spoke.

You are the iceberg of ten thousand years in the math team. Everyone knows that your spirit is up and down.At that time, when you spoke, everyone was shocked, thinking that the genius little witch was going to have fun with the people.

You don't care if I agree or not, you just raised your hand and wrote something on my back.

Of course I don't know, but because of your participation, everyone was very excited and stared at me in unison. It seemed embarrassing for me to say that I didn't know, so I casually said a word, which was the word 'Li' that you have always emphasized.

Who knew you were right.

I'm so shocked!Can you guess right? !

Then, you wrote another word.

I guessed my last name at random.

You nodded, speaking in a low voice. "Well, yes."

The girl sitting in the back was puzzled and said. "Why don't I look like it?"

No one continued to pursue it, everyone continued to chat, and I just got away with it.

I still don't know what you were writing about.

I found out later from others that you actually know that I have undergone surgery.

There was a physical examination before the International Mathematics Competition. On the day when the physical examination report was issued, I asked for leave and did not go. The list was placed on the table. They said they saw you pick it up and glanced at it.

Yes.

You are a duplicitous person yourself.

I remember one time, the Little Tigers came to Shanghai to hold a fan club.

The organizer started at [-]:[-] p.m., and fans started to line up at [-]:[-] noon. From afar, you could see a group of people standing there holding banners, like an illegal assembly.

I thought about running away from the math team, grabbing tickets, and asking you to help me, but you disagreed.

No matter, you agree or not, anyway, I ran away.

I sent a text message to the team leader teacher, saying that I was in physical pain and asked for leave to go home.

Unexpectedly, on that day, my brother Doubi, who has been a "professional pit girl for 20 years", suddenly had a kind heart, and took the initiative to ask for leave for me, saying that my leg fell and went to the hospital.

You said you didn't care, but when things came to an end, you frowned again, and ran to tell the teacher that I had a fever and went home.

The teacher immediately became angry, slapped the table and said.

"She sent me a text message saying she was in pain and wanted to go home! Her brother told me that she broke her leg and went to the hospital! Now you come to say that she has a fever, why did she go?!"

According to eyewitnesses, you were stunned for a second, really only for a second, and then said without changing your face.

"Teacher, she had a menstrual period, which caused her to have a persistent high fever. She fell off the horizontal bar during physical education class in a daze. Her brother took her away to the hospital."

The whole process was smooth and smooth, and the face didn't even blush, which is simply breathtaking.

Afterwards, I heard about this passage, and I patted you on the shoulder and said.

"It's a pity that you were born in China. If you were born in a foreign country, you would definitely be the leader of a criminal gang with a gun pointed to your forehead, without changing your face or beating your heart."

But it was obviously a joke, but you were stunned for a moment, and suddenly clicked on England on the map and said. "Rowling, would you believe me if I said that I was British in my previous life?"

At that time, I really thought you were teasing me, so I replied.

"I was an American in my previous life!"

Why is the paper wet.

It's strange, at such an age, and still crying, it's a joke for you, Lily.

but……

How can you leave so suddenly?

So cruel?

I didn't even figure out my feelings...you just left.

When I saw Mu Zi'an in the library again, I knew you were gone.

I thought you changed your personality.

I thought I could see you again.

So I gave the chocolate to Mu Zi'an.

Delusions are closer to you.

After many years, I realized that:

— you will never understand.

—You can't come back.

At this time, when people around me began to go on blind dates and get married one after another, I suddenly looked back and finally understood what this relationship I had never been able to figure out.

Lily, the abbreviation of our name is LL in pinyin...

It's...fate, is...isn't it?

I keep groping around to learn about your past...

I don't believe you are someone who doesn't exist, someone I imagined.

I went to the place Mu Zi'an told me about, and I also saw your biological parents...

They are really nice people...

By the way, I avenged you, are you happy?

Can you still give me a hug?

Lily, I miss you...

I am not young anymore, no matter whether the people around me understand or not, I have resolutely resigned from the space agency...

I came to England.

The tulips in the hospital are blooming again.

It's beautiful, it's beautiful.

Pushing the wheelchair, I passed countless streets and people, and finally found the old man.

He was just like Mu Zi'an said, carrying a lantern, walking alone on the street, he asked me if I was from Jiuzhou, but I felt that he was also waiting for someone...

I can go back in time to find you and stay with you, Lily.

Forgot to tell you.

--I love you.

The author has something to say:

Uh...not very good at writing, the wolf tried his best