A female protagonist and a female supporting role are a natural pair [Quick Transmigration]

It's easy to fall in love with someone, but it's hard to let go of someone.

Even if I know that the person in the other person's heart is not me, I still have expectations—after all, I was her closest relative, but it was only the relationship between master and student, not the most special relationship of the soul.

I couldn't accept it, so my life was extremely painful.

In the past, I was always very happy with her, but since I had that unreasonable thought, I am no longer happy.More, just sour.

Seeing her with other men made me sore.

Seeing her with other women makes me sad too.

In fact, many times I don't misunderstand, she has an ability to make everyone around her like her.Therefore, whether it is friendship or love, she has a bumper harvest all the way.

Perhaps, it was because she was born with an aura that made people approachable.I'm not a person who can get close to people casually, but I can easily feel close to her. This feeling is very strange.

As if, she is my dearest and dearest person in this world, making me want to occupy the most intimate position with her forever.

Maybe there are many people who have the same idea as me, so it is always difficult to realize my wish-she has lovers, sisters, brothers, and very special friends.Everyone is very close to her.

During that time, I was the most confused and helpless time.I'm like a trapped animal, I've made a prison in my emotions, and I can't get out.Struggling, but in vain.

In the end, I had no choice but to quit the Internet.

I still remember clearly that it was 2006.At that time, I didn't have a mobile phone.Therefore, as long as you don't go to the Internet cafe, you don't need to contact her anymore.

I call it, "quitting the net".

For anything, where the word "precept" is used, the result will not be very good.Because it is the struggle between oneself and one's own lust - this is also the reason why countless girls control their appetite to lose weight, but the rebound is more serious.

Your own ** is your subconscious self.No one can fight against himself... Even if he wins, he is already incomplete.

At that time, I just fought with myself like that, gritting my teeth and refusing to go online to meet her.Every day is like a year.

In order to completely put an end to my thoughts, I foolishly went back to my hometown in the countryside, thinking that I would be forced to cut off the Internet for a period of time—there are no Internet cafes in the countryside.

Even today, I still clearly remember the days when I was disconnected from the Internet. .

Indeed, I really did it, nothing else, just because there are no Internet cafes in the countryside.However, that was my most anxious period of time.

Anxiety, restlessness, cat scratching in the heart, is that more painful than pain?

Because, when you are in pain, at least you are alive, you can feel the pain, and you can also feel the traces of those painful days in your life.However, I hardly lived through those restless days...

Every day, I am fighting against my desire, every day, I am counting the time, silently counting how long I have been away from the Internet, and you on the other side of the computer, will it be strange, will you not get used to it Without my company, will you miss me...

Just thinking about it every day.One lives with one's family, but the heart is not there at all.I don't care about my family, I don't care about myself, and I don't care about the real world around me.I just want time to go and go, and life to go and go, so that I can disconnect from the Internet for a long time and make Master miss me...

In fact, if it were me now, I would never do such a thing again.Because in my opinion now, there is nothing worse than wasting time in this world.Life is short, the days when you can run, dance, enjoy delicious food, dress up and have a clear mind are just a few years.Every day, you have to live.

Any blasphemy against life will eventually be punished.

So, then I got punished too.God has punished me for not knowing how to cherish it.

I was disconnected from the Internet for a summer vacation, and Master did think of me, and she must have missed me very much, so she wrote several letters to my QQ mailbox one after another.

My master is a very lazy person.She was only in charge of teasing, but never cared about the aftermath.Because she is lazy.Therefore, the most plots I have seen are that she is chased by people crying and shouting, but she often becomes silent suddenly after she is tired, so that the other party can no longer get a response.Her reason is simple, that is, she is tired.

Therefore, she is actually a "scumbag" in the popular sense.It has the same meaning as "scumbag".

Maybe no one will believe it: she has flirted with so many men and women, but she has never written a letter or email to anyone—it was 2006, and love letters and emails were still in vogue.

She is really lazy.Including the online girlfriend she was so-called crazy obsessed with at the time, she couldn't calm down and write a few words about her.

Me, be the first one.

What that means, we know each other well.

So, she wrote in the last letter: Mom!If you don't show up again, you will get out of the world of labor and capital in the future!From now on, you will treat me as dead! !

When I saw that sentence, my whole body melted.

Distressed and moved, indescribable.Immediately, I replied to her email.

After sending that email, I was anxious, waiting for a reply.In order not to miss Master’s emails, I spent almost the whole day in Internet cafes. In 2006, the Internet fee was not expensive. It cost [-] yuan an hour and recharged XX yuan to send XX yuan, and it only cost [-] yuan for an overnight stay. , which was called "Bao. Ye" at that time.

The 17-year-old's body is very young. Even if he spends time in Internet cafes during the day and night, he is still free from illness, pain and damage to his skin.

Finally, on the third day, I received an email from Master, who first scolded me for being heartless, and then weakly stated that after I disappeared, she suddenly stopped talking, and she was habitually the first to knock Open my QQ avatar, without me these days, I feel that the Internet is not normal, so I just stopped going online.It usually takes a few days to post, so I received my email late.

I didn't mind that she received the email late, but I was glad that my disconnection had affected her so much!

With 12 points of excitement and shyness, I finally resumed the establishment of diplomatic relations with her, in the original way, as if nothing had happened.

We became the most intimate master and apprentice again.

However, some things happen.

Since then, we have added another layer of relationship, that is, lovers.

Yes, internet couples.

That was 2006, online dating was not yet common, and society was not so well-connected.Countless people told us that online dating has no good results, but we still started with anxiety and excitement.

Since then, I have become her justifiable girlfriend.

In the virtual community we played in, many girls would cp with their girlfriends and authenticate [marriage].Therefore, we certified that [marriage] was only regarded as the intimacy between girlfriends at the beginning.

However, I am not content to be seen that way.

Maybe it's because of my natural inferiority complex, or maybe it's because this relationship itself doesn't give me enough sense of security. In short, I feel upset when my identity as a real lover is not recognized.Always feel bored.

Especially, seeing those men and women around her making fun of her!

Yes, I not only want to guard against women, but also guard against men.She has an ex-girlfriend and an ex-boyfriend; she has a sworn brother and a sworn sister... Among those people, many like her.This is not my misunderstanding.There are also some, although they don't have that kind of thought for her, but they like to take her by their side, especially girls - she is the kind with a powerful boyfriend, she is very good at coaxing girls, pity girls, and even teasing girls child.That's why many girls are willing to take her to accompany them. They also like to complain to her and ask for comfort when they have any troubles. Some girls even ask her to accompany them on the All Night Net when they are in a bad mood... promise.

The most unbearable time for me was when a girl had a cold and sent her a text message to act coquettishly: "Sister, will I die?" Then she pretended to be pitiful and begged for comfort...

And this girl even asked my master to reply to the text messages in seconds. If she didn't reply in time, she would be angry-and after she got angry, my master told me quite sadly, saying that her younger sister didn't reply in time. The text message ignored her.

However, she never replied to my text messages in seconds.

Even, this girl once dragged her to talk about my sadness when I was chatting with Master, and asked her to accompany me to surf the Internet all night... Master didn't even know when I would log off.

And the most unbearable thing is that I still inadvertently discovered that Master actually left a message to the girl she once liked: I love you, I have always loved you.

When leaving this sentence, we have already confirmed our relationship.

I exploded at the time, crying and wanting to break up.

She cried and redeemed.

I actually agreed.

So I started to watch her coax other girls again, and started to quarrel frequently.Until one day, I saw her message "I love you" to another girl...

In the end, crying and crying, and finally broke up.

In this relationship, I have basically been hurt badly, and I can't recover for a long time.

After the breakup, I left the virtual community where everyone had fun together, and even disconnected from the Internet for a year.Returning to the Internet again, but he has already changed his mind.

I don't know whether it is for revenge, or for indulgence, doubts and for commemoration, I began to appear on the Internet as her.Imitate her talking, imitate her actions, and even imitate her flirting... I used a new ID in a new environment and started flirting with girls.

At this time, I slowly discovered: those girls are really beautiful.

Everyone has their own beauty.

I actually started to understand, to understand Master's "favorite" at the beginning-indeed, every girl has her own advantages.

At that moment, the grievances accumulated over the years suddenly disappeared, and I actually began to understand "Hua Xin" and became a "Hua Xin" person.

I don't remember how many girls I had on the Internet during that time, and I don't remember how much affection I gave during that time, but I admit that every girl I met was beautiful, at the moment of meeting I really like it.

Of course, the love at that time was no longer to the same extent as that of the master—maybe, a person can love many people in a lifetime, but the kind of love that is deeply rooted in people's hearts and even loses self and reason is only once.Not because of the deepest feelings that time, but because people will grow up and protect themselves.After such a time of throwing everything out, we will protect ourselves and will not let ourselves fall into that situation again... So, inevitably, there are more realities and trade-offs.

So, after that, the girls I flirted with online never thought about being together for real.

My feelings for them are real, but only online.I will never again try my best to be with her in reality like I did to my master, and I will go to her city for postgraduate entrance examinations.

Feelings are mutual, and I hide my secrets in my feelings, those girls will naturally know.Then it gradually faded away.One by one, after waking up, back out of the circle.

I feel guilty in my heart, but I can't do anything about it, because it is impossible for me to treat anyone like I treat Master.It would be great if we could develop with them.However, I will no longer put in too much effort to achieve that development.

So, I knew I couldn't go on.Because those girls I tease are innocent, they are innocent, they are just young, why should they suffer from my emotional storm?

So, I also quit the circle and started writing articles.

Write one by one, my story with them.

So, I entered a literary website called "Jinjiang Literature City", registered a pseudonym, and began to write our story.Those stories are all kinds of strange things, but in every story, there is a projected emotion, which is the innocence I want to commemorate.

It's just that I no longer meet new friends, even if they are literary friends, and I don't want to make new friends.Therefore, everyone knows that Jinjiang's ancient saying that the number one god has no friends.

It's strange, I have written for so many years, but I have no gay friends.

Because these years I have been used to loneliness.Not on purpose, but enjoyment.To invest in a relationship, you need to show your true heart, and my heart has already been wrapped in layers of cocoons.

I'm only 26 years old, but I've lost all my youth and all my emotions.

For the rest of the time, I can only sit quietly in the sunset like an old man, writing stories with my own brand, and keep writing.

Until one day, when the stories between me and those girls were finished, I stopped writing Lily, and started writing romance under a different pseudonym.

When people live in the world, they always have to consider some mundane things, such as housing, clothing, food, and money.As far as love is concerned, the way to make money is much clearer than Lily.

I am a person with little experience in modern society, my family background is very ordinary, I have not been exposed to too many fashionable youths who are flamboyant, and I have never seen real clothes and temples. From elementary school to university, and then to graduate school, they are all locked in an ivory tower, and they know little about the outside world.After graduating from graduate school, I simply wrote articles full-time, and I also had no contact with society.

Therefore, I chose to make use of my strengths and avoid my weaknesses, avoiding writing modern prose, but writing a bunch of ancient prose—as a bookworm who is only good at reading, I believe in my attainments in ancient culture.

After going back and forth, unexpectedly, I became the so-called number one god of Jinjiang ancient sayings.

I am very grateful for such an honor, whether I have gained it or lost my life.

It's just that after I've been typing and typing every day, and put my heart at ease for several years, I finally started to move around - I thought, maybe I can love again.

Coincidentally, at this time Jinjiang quit the real person travel system, so I signed up.

I want to see if my heart can be salvaged again :)

"This is my whole story." I said to Xiao Lengyu.

Xiao Lengyu was speechless for a long time, and after a long time, he asked, "What about your master? Did you still keep in touch afterwards?"

"No more. I gave her the username and password of my community and xx, and changed all contact methods. She couldn't contact me at all. Although there were countless nights, I wanted to contact her like crazy, but I would rather cut myself with a knife than go back and contact her!" Even after many years, I still have lingering fears when talking about the almost crazy self-mutilation years.

Xiao Lengyu's tears showed a hint of distress, he hesitated, and took my hand: "Where did you cut it? Does it still hurt?"

"It's no longer painful. It's been several years. I have no scars. Those wounds have healed, and I can't even see the traces." I was half relieved and half bitter.As a girl, it is a good thing to have this kind of physique, and there is no scar at all.However, after all, it was a little bit bitter, those youths who were once crazy like Ruosi, could not leave even a trace.

Everything is like a dream blown away by the wind.

Xiao Lengyu must have thought of something too, and was disappointed for a long time.In the end, he just asked lightly: "Presumably, the woman you like must be extremely beautiful, right?"

I was also disappointed, and smiled: "Actually, I haven't seen her."

"What? How come?" People in ancient times couldn't understand online dating after all.

"When we met, online dating was just popular. We only met online, and we were very cautious. We had a lot of respect for many things. For example, today's netizens may exchange photos and videos at will. After all, it is too simple to take pictures now. , All kinds of selfies in the space circle of friends, and the click of a button to start video chat with each other is a matter of one button. But at that time, we had a kind of excessive respect for online friends, and even had a kind of pilgrimage to the feeling of intersecting. Of course, it may also be because we were young at the time, only sixteen or seventeen years old, and we most respected literary friends who had common hobbies. Beautiful, I feel that whoever asks for a real photo first will desecrate this pure beauty... Hehe, is it silly?" I smiled bitterly, but it was also sweet, "But, I think, she should be a very beautiful girl."

It should be beautiful, otherwise I wouldn't have that kind of confidence.

At that time, she flirted with both men and women online, and even in ordinary friendships, she was active. Obviously, she was used to being popular in life, otherwise she would not have such confidence.

What's more, I've also seen her real fanboys and girls chasing after her online, crying and begging to be together ==

"She should be beautiful." I repeated, looking at Xiao Lengyu, "Actually, in my previous imagination, she should look like you."