Don't fight with your first love

Time passed by every minute and every second, a door separated the two worlds, Shi Qingyu has been standing outside the door since the moment he went out, looking down at the floor under his feet, not knowing what he was thinking.

She waited and waited, thinking and thinking, wondering if what she said just now was a little too abrupt, let alone how Guan Nanyi would feel after listening to her words.

She has never had such emotions, and has never been so entangled with a person. A long time ago, she thought it would be easy to reject a person. It was not until the light in Guan Nanyi's eyes went out that she began to regret it belatedly.

Guan Nanyi... Guan Nanyi.

She recited that person's name over and over again in her heart, she didn't know what to do, maybe she lost all resistance from the moment she fell into Guan Nanyi's hands She is capable, but only after she separated from Guan Nanyi did she begin to understand.

It's like being sentenced to lifelong rape, and I can only guard that square inch to remember.

She rarely regrets one thing, but only about Guan Nanyi, she always tosses and turns at night because of it, not knowing what to do, let alone how to deal with herself.

***

It was more than an hour after Guan Nanyi opened the door. As soon as he opened the door, Guan Nanyi saw Shi Qingyu standing in front of the door, standing like a tall and straight pine and cypress. Seeing her open the door, the latter raised his eyes slightly , frowning, silently looked at her.

And Guan Nanyi looked at her expressionlessly, and said, "—Get out of the way."

Shi Qingyu paused for a moment, as if he didn't expect Guan Nanyi to say that, but obediently staggered away and gave way to Guan Nanyi.

The latter looked straight ahead and stopped looking at her, as if she had longed for this stranger who was close at hand for a long time and had nothing to do with her.

Her expression was the same as that of Shi Qingyu many years ago, the same indifference, the same coldness, treating someone who doesn't love as if people can always show their hardest face easily.

Not afraid to be hurt, not afraid to be hurt.

It doesn't matter... that's what it seems to mean.

And Shi Qingyu's heart fell to the bottom at this moment, she watched Guan Nanyi striding past her, wearing the trench coat she bought for her, and the light-colored casual shirt she personally chose, Her ironed trousers.

Although she never admitted it in the past years, in fact, she really knows Guan Nanyi like the back of her hand, her size, her preferences...she knows everything clearly.

I am always used to buying suitable clothes for Guan Nanyi when I pass by a clothing store, and I am even more used to adding things that belong to Guan Nanyi to my wardrobe when the seasons change.

Some memories are far away, but she can always remember them clearly. For example, one winter day, she participated in an event in the square and a passer-by scanned the QR code to give her a pair of cheap knitted gloves. When she met Guan Nanyi, the latter I mistakenly thought it was a gift for her, and the smile on my face when I got it was always so clear and dazzling no matter how many years had passed.

After all, there are two points of her own little thoughts in it. She wants to please Guan Nanyi, she wants to be considerate to Guan Nanyi, she wants to make up for Guan Nanyi, and she wants to give back to Guan Nanyi gently for everything that was too late and impossible to give in those years. Clothes.

Her vision is always so good, and every piece of clothing she chooses looks good and fits well when worn on Guan Nanyi's body.

Just a face-to-face, Shi Qingyu was able to remember the details of Guan Nanyi in his heart. Guan Nanyi has not changed after so many years, her jaw still likes to look down on everyone, and her face is still young and unruly conceited. It is also the indifference of wisdom in the past.

Shi Qingyu probably never told Guan Nanyi what he really liked about her, maybe it was the careless glance when they met again, maybe the smile that lingered around her chatting, maybe it was the sadness of the young man in the stairwell at night The sigh... But perhaps more, it is Guan Nanyi's unrestrained and unrestrained ability to maintain his edge after the passage of time.

She has been too restrained in her life, and the best explanation for her is to have no desires and no desires. She thought that dedicating the rest of her life to academics was her greatest ideal, but she didn't know until she met Guan Nanyi It turned out that I could be so greedy, I greedily made a wish more than once to let Guan Nanyi stay by her side forever, and then I realized that I could be so shameless, shamelessly thinking about her students more than once at night.

It was also because of meeting Guan Nanyi that she knew another side of herself, and also realized that people can live so free and easy, that they can laugh out loud when they are happy, and let out pain when they are sad. There is no need to follow the rules. If you need to restrain yourself, you should live according to your own preferences, grow up according to your own ideas, and like someone according to your heart.

Such a lively person full of vitality... She couldn't restrain her liking.

Maybe it was a long, long time ago, before reuniting with Guan Nanyi, in the traffic alley that day, on that morning when the weather was not so good.

She saw the grown-up Guan Nanyi running towards a building with a bag in his hand. Seeing that he was about to miss work, he turned around and ran towards the alleys when passing by the street.

It was a long time since she was familiar with someone, so she followed her and watched from a distance, watching Guan Nanyi carefully take out a newspaper from her bag and put the leftovers on the ground, unfold them slowly, and then A dingy, limping kitten stumbled to her feet in the darkness of the alley before the sun had time to shine, and lowered its head to lick the life that the young man brought to it.

One person, one cat, relying on each other in the alley.

It was a scene she would dream about many times at night.

Perhaps only in her dreams would she do things with her heart, because she always dreamed that after looking at the corner for a while, she finally couldn't help but walked up to Guan Nanyi and asked her, "Where are you?" What are you doing?"

Guan Nanyi raised his head in a daze, and when he met her, a surprised smile appeared on his face, "Oh, why is it you?"

Their reunion was delayed for a long time. Guan Nanyi smiled flamboyantly and presumptuously: "Doesn't teacher have eyes? Can't you tell that I'm feeding the cat?"

She fixed her eyes on the student who had already graduated, and said, "You should be in college."

At that time, Guan Nanyi should be in his freshman year.

Guan Nanyi smiled indifferently: "Isn't it that I have no money? I just dropped out of school."

She didn't like the indifferent smile on Guan Nanyi's face when he talked about these things, just like at that time she was very disgusted that Guan Nanyi, who was on vacation, had damaged his body because of taking a part-time job.

"There are student loans," she said.

"So?" Guan Nanyi stood up, and the crippled cat under his feet was still squatting there to eat. "If you don't plan to raise me, don't worry about it so much. It's been so long since you haven't seen me." I don't want to argue with you."

Guan Nanyi probably wanted to say something more, but she interrupted in the dream: "I'll raise it."

The latter froze for a moment, then frowned the next moment.

She moved her fingers slightly, a little wanting to smooth Guan Nanyi's eyebrows, but she was too restrained, and she was afraid of scaring her when they reunited after a long absence.

"I'll take care of you," she promised.

if you are willing to.

If this is not a dream.

***

Walking across shoulders, Guan Nanyi's face was very calm, she was always the one who talked the most in the past, but at this moment she didn't say anything to Shi Qingyu.

She wants to leave.

Leave this conceited and selfish woman.

It's not that Shi Qingyu didn't see what Guan Nanyi meant, but she was always stupid and couldn't say anything to persuade her to stay, so she had no choice but to follow Guan Nanyi step by step.

Followed the other person downstairs, followed the other party to change shoes, followed the other party out of the house, and walked out of the other party's community. It seemed that he was going to really go out. At this time, Shi Qingyu was a little anxious, but he still had a serious face Indifferent, but speaking faster, "——you want to go out?"

Guan Nanyi didn't stop walking.

"I'll see you off..." Shi Qingyu muffled.

Guan Nanyi still didn't speak.

Shi Qingyu took two quick steps, and said again, "Here... there are no buses nearby, so it's difficult to get a taxi."

Guan Nanyi finally stopped, turned around and said coldly to Shi Qingyu, "So what? It's not like I, Guan Nanyi, have been in a worse situation than today."

Shi Qingyu paused: "..."

Seeing that Shi Qingyu was bored and silent, Guan Nanyi smiled, but the smile didn't catch his eyes, which made people feel uncomfortable.

"What? You still want to keep me? Who do you think you are? Can you coax people around with just a word of liking?" Guan Nanyi sneered, "Don't you still think I like you?!"

The two of them stood facing each other on the path in front of Shi Qingyu's villa unit. They had also faced each other that night a long time ago. That time, it was because of the softness of Guan Nan's clothes. She said, "If I go to jail, you are satisfied." Yet?"

Seeing that the latter was silent, she said again, "Okay, then I'll sit."

So she gave up her four and a half years of freedom, and learned to forget a person in that dark space.

But today, four and a half years later, it was Shi Qingyu who gave in. After a long time, Guan Nanyi heard Shi Qingyu reply, "It's not casual."

"..."

Guan Nanyi stared at Shi Qingyu, his expression was very bad, he was afraid that he was going to jump over and bite someone in the next moment, "Do you have a fucking language barrier?"

Can you stop talking like a high-cold sister Yu, saying half and keeping the other half, it's as uncomfortable as shit.

Shi Qingyu looked slightly hesitant, not knowing how to explain.

Guan Nanyi became impatient: "Okay, get out, do what you like, do whatever you like, it's none of my business—"

"——It's not easy to like you!" As a result, before she finished speaking, Shi Qingyu interrupted her words suddenly and loudly.

Guan Nanyi: "..."

Guan Nanyi: "???"

Her: "... What did you say?"

In fact, with Shi Qingyu's temperament, it is rare to argue with people outside like this now, let alone expect her to say something that would be like what she said in the room. She has always been thin-faced, but to Guan Nan She lowered her bottom line again and again when she was in love with this person.

So in the next second, before Guan Nanyi asked her what she meant by what she just said, she said seriously: "I said that liking you is not a casual thing."

This time, her voice was raised twice, and she didn't care if the neighbors would hear her. She didn't even have time to think about whether it was too offensive to speak so loudly. She was probably too calm in the past 30 years. At this moment It will be like a child who has lost his beloved and is eager to find it.

She wanted to keep Guan Nanyi, but she didn't keep it more than four years ago, and now God gave her another chance, if she didn't cherish it, she might live in regret for the rest of her life.

The author has something to say: I don't know if you will live in trouble for the rest of your life, but I regret writing the article anyway.

At this moment, a dispirited author who feels hollowed out after a long day's work walks by feebly.

关南衣【冷笑】：你受你不行了。感谢在2020-05-0520:45:09~2020-05-0621:08:46期间为我投出霸王票或灌溉营养液的小天使哦~

Thanks to the little angel who threw the shallow water bomb: Ling Paojun 1;

Thanks to the little angel who cast the rocket launcher: Emsten, 1 night mirror;

Thanks to the little angels who cast mines: 2 for ilpsy; 1 for steamed stuffed bun, Niu Momoo, jgtkugh, humming, people's dreams should be big, and become a schoolmaster;

感谢灌溉营养液的小天使：lx17瓶；今天也不开心、押一付三10瓶；疯子6瓶；杜啊若啊愚2瓶；阿白、槐序停归1瓶；

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!