under the filth

Tang Cen sat on the sofa with his head bowed, his hands restlessly clutching his kneecaps.

Although this sudden overseas call was cut off by Tang Cen, it was very similar to the time when Tang Songyuan called him back to China.

The memory of that period full of blood and pain is vivid in my mind. The flesh and muscle on the back that was once cut by the whip, and the muscles and tendons that were reattached under the scar throbbed intermittently, like a blunt knife cutting the fragile nerve back and forth. , as if to remind him.

His left hand twitched violently. Tang Cen pressed down on his left wrist, tightly pinching the nerves on the wrist.The left hand no longer twitched, but the fingers holding the wrist trembled violently, so cold that there was no warmth at all, like a corpse.

"Eisen." Tang Cen let go of his wrist and raised his hands high. Those out-of-focus eyes couldn't see the person in front of him clearly, and he grasped in the air with his fingers. The hand of the mobile phone, "I want to be alone for a while, can you...can you go over?"

"Just one night, okay?" Tang Cen asked cautiously, his eyes were full of begging.

Eisen held his cold hand instead, and returned the phone to him.The pulp of his finger rubbed the protruding joints of his fingers twice. The tiny scars on them had already faded away, and the skin was delicate and smooth, but there was no warmth. He wondered if Tang Cen's hands would be covered with scars again after the night passed.

But Eisen hesitated for two seconds, and agreed to him: "Okay."

Tang Cen's eyes lit up a little when he heard Eisen's answer, but soon dimmed again.The hand that was holding him was slowly released, and it slid down to his lap, and the phone dropped into the gap of the sofa.

Eisen wanted to touch his forehead, but he had already raised his hand, but seeing Tang Cen's distraught appearance, he finally gave up.He went back to the bedroom, found the key to the opposite door, and put it in his pocket together with the phone.

After leaving the bedroom, Eisen went to the locker in the corner of the restaurant and dug out the medicine Tang Cen usually took from the medicine box.I poured a piece out of one of the medicine bottles, wrapped it in medicine wrapping paper, and put it on the table in the restaurant together with the water glass I prepared earlier.

Eisen leaned against the dining table and looked at the locked cabinet for a long time before he took out the key in his pocket and opened the cabinet.In that cabinet were the cigarettes and wine that Tang Cen had given him before. Tang Cen hadn't touched these for a long time, and they were also covered with dust in the cabinet.

Picking up the top pack of cigarettes, Eisen stroked the boxy corners of the pack, and suddenly made up his mind.

After finishing his work, Eisen locked the cabinet and returned to Tang Cen's side.He picked up the small blanket from the sofa and draped it over Tang Cen's body, squatted halfway in front of Tang Cen, held his cold hand, and said softly, "The medicine is on the table, don't forget to take it."

Tang Cen lowered his head and did not speak.

"You can call me or knock on the door if you have anything to do. I'm always here." Tang Cen didn't respond, but Eisen still patiently told him.

Tang Cen's lips moved, and he uttered a cold sentence: "Let's go."

Eisen let go of his hand and gave him a hug, "Then I'll pass."

Tang Cen once talked to him about this problem, and he also gave Tang Cen a solution.But Eisen didn't know if Tang Cen would come to him on his own initiative as promised after he left this room.He wasn't sure, and he didn't know whether he should take the initiative to come back tomorrow.

Eisen stood up on his knees and was about to turn around when he heard Tang Cen beside him say, "Take the cat too."

Opera Chow was still hiding under the sofa, Tang Cen didn't know what the room would be like after Eisen left.But no matter whether he will fall into hysterical madness or not, and whether he can control his body, Tang Cen doesn't want to hurt Opera Chow, so he can only let Eisen take him away.

The kitten who heard his name lay down under the sofa and yelled aggrievedly: "Meow—" Opera Cun couldn't understand what happened to the owner, but it smelled a very depressing smell from Tang Cen.

Opera Cun's cry attracted Tang Cen's attention, and Eisen quickly fished Opera Cen out from under the sofa, and carried him to a place where Tang Cen could not see.

Smoothing the long hairs on Opera Chow's back, Eisen put his finger on his lips and gestured to Opera Claude, "Shhh!"

Opera Chow looked at the man in front of him, and suddenly plunged into his arms.Eisen casually comforted it a few times before stuffing it into the cat litter, and tidying up its commonly used items one by one.

Although it was only a temporary return to the original room, Eisen almost emptied that place before, and now that he went back, he couldn’t get all the things at once, so Eisen could only temporarily pile up the things in the corridor between the two rooms inside.

Before leaving, Eisen stood by the door and glanced at Tang Cen, but Tang Cen never raised his head. He could only leave Tang Cen with the kitten, which was less than nine months old.The not-so-spacious corridors are cluttered with trivial items, and there is almost no place to stay.Eisen hugged Opera Chow and walked in it with difficulty.

Hearing the sound of the door lock closing, Tang Cen sat in his original posture for a long time before slowly sliding down from the sofa.

With a "plop", he sat slumped on the ground, hunched over, trying to reduce his sense of existence.

Tang Cen couldn't explain why he became like this, Tang Qian obviously didn't say anything, but he still fell into a panic without any sign.

The name Tang Qian was already a very long memory for Tang Cen.From the time he left the Tang family, for six years, Tang Cen never heard of this name from anyone, nor did he see this person again.

Tang Cen's memory of Tang Qian still lingers on that humiliating night.

"Are you really going to sever ties with your father for that man?"

Six years ago, at the door of the study that killed all Tang Cen's fantasies and expectations, that childish boy stubbornly pulled his skirt and asked this question.

At that time, Tang Cen had just returned home, but what greeted him was his father's insults and Tang Qian's questioning.He was disheartened, but he had the idea of ​​resistance.

Tang Cen didn't answer Tang Qian's question, but sternly reprimanded him, bit by bit he opened Tang Qian's fingers clutching the corner of his clothes, walked into the study alone, and endured Tang Songyuan's insults and whipping.

He thought he had a lot of backbone, but in the end, he was still that timid coward.

After that, Tang Cen never saw Tang Qian again, did not take the initiative to look for Tang Qian's traces, and learned about his situation. He still doesn't know how he is doing.

Six years have passed, Tang Qian should have been admitted to university long ago, or has graduated, and entered his father's company to work like he did before.

Tang Cen wondered if Tang Qian was forced to walk the same path as before after his father gave up on him.Although Tang Qian was not born of Tang Songyuan, he was also a child of the Tang family. He was abolished, and Tang Qian could still be raised, so his father gave up on him so simply.

When Tang Cen was 12 years old, Tang Songyuan took Tang Qian, whose parents died, back home.Tang Cen didn't know much about the second uncle's family who rarely interacted with them. He only learned that his second uncle and his wife passed away unexpectedly in a car accident from a few words that the housekeeper accidentally revealed.Tang Cen's grandfather and grandmother passed away for many years, and Tang Qian, who was homeless, was finally taken home by Tang Songyuan.

But even though Tang Qian was originally a child of the Tang family, Tang Songyuan always treated Tang Cen differently from the adopted Tang Qian. Tang Cen lived under heavy pressure, but Tang Qian was carefree like a child from an ordinary wealthy family. to grow.

The father's differential treatment did not cause a gap between the two brothers, because Tang Cen, who loved Tang Qian whose parents died early, as the elder brother, always gave way to the younger brother, and Tang Qian, who was a mess in his studies, had never been scolded by Tang Songyuan. , but he has always admired his elder brother who is a top student. Since the first meeting, he followed Tang Cen like a little tail.

It is precisely because of the longing and admiration in childhood that Tang Cen, who is now on the run in embarrassment, cannot face the younger brother he once loved.

If his willfulness ruins Tang Qian's original comfortable life, no matter how deep the relationship between the brothers was, Tang Qian will blame him to some extent in his heart, and he will feel guilty for it.He wanted to apologize to Tang Qian, but he didn't want to see a look of disappointment on his face.

Tang Cen thought, perhaps it was because of remorse and guilt that he was so afraid, afraid that he would ruin Tang Qian's life, and also afraid that Tang Qian would blame him and look down on him.

Looking at the overhead lights above his head, Tang Cen suddenly remembered that he hadn't taken his medicine yet, probably because he hadn't taken his medicine that made him think so wildly.

Drugs affected Tang Cen's mental state all the time. Tang Cen relied heavily on the tranquility brought by that small pill, and the side effects it brought had been weakened to the point where it could be ignored.Although Tang Cen occasionally had dangerous thoughts when he was cooking, Opera Cen would always squat by his hand and observe every movement of his hand.

Tang Cen sat on the ground for a long time, maintaining the same posture for a long time, which seriously hindered the blood flow. When Tang Cen grabbed the sofa, half crawled and half knelt and straightened up, his legs were already numb from the pressure.

This scene seemed familiar, the last time he stood up like this, Eisen was not by his side.The person who always cared for him and took care of him was kicked out by him again.

At that moment, Tang Cen began to regret driving Aisen away, and after only a few minutes away, he began to miss Aisen, wanted to hear his voice, and wanted to kiss his face.

This time, the phone was in his hand, and Tang Cen knew that as long as he pressed the call button, Aisen would return to him.

But he couldn't do it.With just one sentence from him, he can treat Eisen as if he were a servant, and leave immediately. Why does he treat Eisen like this?

This bit of emptiness and loneliness is still within the range that Tang Cen can bear. He still has a lot of things that he hasn't figured out yet, and he doesn't want to throw all these problems at Eisen.So before he couldn't bear it completely, Tang Cen wanted to try to solve it by himself.