under the filth

Tang Cen sat on the sofa in the office with his head in his arms: "Uncle, I want to ask for leave."

"How long, please?" Su Yuqing, who was drinking tea leisurely, was not surprised that he would make such a request.

"I don't know." Tang Cen's mind was blank now, he just subconsciously felt that he should ask for leave and go home to finish this matter before returning to work.Not to bring personal matters to work, this was the only request made by Su Yuqing on the first day of Tang Cen's employment.

Seeing his haggard and decadent appearance, Su Yuqing waved his hands helplessly: "Forget it, let's go." Pointing to the scattered photos on the table, Su Yuqing said, "Take these away too."

Tang Cen randomly stuffed the photos into his bag, and left the office without saying hello.

Back home, Tang Cen dumped the contents of his bag on the coffee table in the living room. The stack of photos was also spread out on the coffee table, and some of them floated under the sofa.

Tang Cen sat slumped on the sofa, staring blankly at the two people who were embracing each other in the photo.One of the main characters in the photos was Lu Sheng. The people he hugged were different in each photo, but Tang Cen didn't know any of them.

Sitting from evening until dawn, Tang Cen waited all night but failed to wait for Lu Sheng to come back, and the words he had thought up were also forgotten in the long waiting time.

It was almost noon when Lu Sheng came back. Tang Cen stood up quickly after being awakened by the sound of the door opening, and looked at Lu Sheng standing outside the door with arms crossed.

Tang Cen asked coldly, "Where have you been?"

Last night, Lu Sheng lived quite as he wished, that woman tasted good, and it was the first time that Lu Sheng wanted to take care of her.But when he heard Tang Cen's questioning as soon as he got home, it was as if someone poured cold water on Lu Sheng's head, and all the joy in his heart disappeared completely.

He listened impatiently to Tang Cen's questioning, and his tone was not as gentle as before: "Didn't I tell you that I have an entertainment?"

But as soon as the words were spoken, Lu Sheng immediately felt that something was wrong.He caught a glimpse of Tang Cen's haggard look, and hurried forward to hug him in his arms: "It was too late yesterday, I just stayed in the hotel for one night, you won't have been waiting for me, have you?"

The shower gel on Lu Sheng's body smelled very strange, even mixed with the smell of women's perfume.Tang Cen felt sick at the thought of falling asleep with his arms around someone else last night.

"Hotel?" Tang Cen sneered and asked, "With whom?"

Lu Sheng heard the meaning of his words, his heart skipped a beat, his eyes dodged twice, but he still replied calmly: "I'm alone..."

Tang Cen violently broke away from Lu Sheng's arm, and took two steps back to widen the distance.

Pointing to the photo on the table, he asked loudly, "You alone? Then who is that you are hugging?"

Looking in the direction of Tang Cen's finger, Lu Sheng noticed the pile of colorful papers on the table.He picked up the pieces of paper closest to him on the ground, and when he picked them up, he realized that they were all photos, and the contents of the photos were without exception the backs of him entering and leaving various hotels with his arms around him.

Lu Sheng didn't expect that Tang Cen would find someone to secretly photograph him, and asked in a deep voice, "What do you mean?"

Listening to his tacit words, Tang Cen did not expect that the man who rescued him from the quagmire would betray him. An unspeakable pain swept through his body, and he could hardly breathe.

Taking a deep breath, Tang Cen forced himself to calm down, and then slowly said, "It's not interesting, tell me, who is she?"

He was not hysterical, except when Lu Sheng lost control when he lied for the first time, he always maintained a calm posture.

However, this gesture was particularly glaring in Lu Sheng's eyes. Lu Sheng felt that Tang Cen was vaguely out of his control, and this was not the result he wanted.

"Ah Cen, it's not like you don't know anything about the mall. It's just a play on the spot." Lu Sheng was still insisting on defending, but this attitude was equivalent to a showdown with Tang Cen. Tang Cen explained to him perfunctorily. No desire to go down.

Tang Cen raised his eyebrows, and asked mercilessly, "A joke? What kind of drama requires you to do it on the bed?"

Lu Sheng was aroused by his mocking tone: "Then what are you going to do, I've explained it to you, don't make trouble for no reason, okay?"

Furious, Lu Sheng left Tang Cen behind after saying this, and went upstairs directly. There was a "bang", and there was a sound of vigorously slamming the door upstairs.

Tang Cen, who was standing on the edge of the sofa, suddenly chuckled. He didn't expect that Lu Sheng would treat him like this, obviously he was the one who got hurt.

"Make trouble for no reason", all the reasons he had were replaced by this word at that moment, and all the trust and love for Lu Sheng were also wiped away by those photos.

It was also because of Lu Sheng's words that when he intensified his cheating, Tang Cen, who should have been angry, chose to connive and escape, and finally even left the house without saying a word.Tang Cen knew very well that he didn't have any right to question him. From the very beginning, he only accepted Lu Sheng for his own sake.

On every night when Lu Sheng was drunk, Tang Cen would either stay in the company and work all night, or lie on the bed in the bedroom, facing the cold ceiling.

It was only when Tang Cen touched the cold bed sheet beside him that he remembered that what he longed for in his life from beginning to end was nothing more than the body temperature from another person that was enough to warm him.

Whether it's Jiang Yan who dragged him into the quagmire, or Lu Sheng who rescued him from a desperate situation and then pushed him down, they are all special existences to him.They gave him a sense of belonging and identity, and Tang Cen even accepted the hurt involved.

Tang Cen occasionally imagined his appearance when he was ill, and couldn't help but cast aside that irrational self in his heart.Falling in love with a mentally ill person, or even living together for many years, no amount of love can withstand the day-to-day torture. Perhaps Lu Sheng's tolerance for him was completely wiped out in those crazy breakdowns.

Lu Sheng tolerated him for so many years and never mentioned breaking up even during his serious illness, only now did Tang Cen have the illusion that they could always be together.Maybe the first time he saw Lu Sheng in the hospital, he should have broken up, instead of regretting it after being stabbed in the back by his lover.

So Tang Cen didn't blame Jiang Yan, nor Lu Sheng.

It's all his fault, he did it himself.

He Xiu asked Tang Cen a question to the eyes that were as calm as a pool of stagnant water in front of him: "Do you love Lu Sheng?"

If he hadn't known that Lu Sheng had been cheating on Tang Cen from the very beginning, probably He Xiu would have been as angry at Lu Sheng's cheating as Tang Cen had been.Although everyone except Tang Cen knew about it, so far no one had confide a single word in front of him.

Just like Tang Cen used Lu Sheng as his spiritual support, Lu Sheng was also using him.If it was simply using the relationship from the beginning, no one would be considered a betrayal or cheating. It's just that two people used each other without knowing each other, and mixed in too much emotion, which made things like this complex.

Tang Cen looked away: "I don't know." His answer was vague, but he didn't quite understand what kind of emotion counted as love, and he really didn't know whether he still loved Lu Sheng or not.He may have loved, but now that place has been taken by someone else.

He didn't care if Lu Sheng really loved him, and he didn't know whether his feelings for Lu Sheng could be called love.What Tang Cen seeks from Lu Sheng is his warm body temperature, what he wants and is attached to is every hug from Lu Sheng.

So for Tang Cen, it was the same to rely on someone who was more proactive, and to ask for warmth from him.

In the second year after Lu Sheng cheated, Tang Cen hid in another man's arms.The two cheated one after another, and neither one owed the other, but compared to Lu Sheng's pure physical cheating, Tang Cen completely gave himself to another man from body to heart.

He Xiu also knew about Tang Cen's other lover, and it was because of the existence of that man named Eisen that he was entrusted by the Tang family and the police to become Tang Cen's psychiatrist, sitting here and listening to him. Talking about all kinds of past.

Recalling the appearance of the young man, He Xiu closed his eyes and rubbed his fingers on the bridge of his nose with glasses.

After rubbing for a while, He Xiu asked Tang Cen about Aisen: "What about Aisen? Do you love him?"

He Xiu knew better than everyone else that that man was very important to Tang Cen, and his status in Tang Cen's heart even surpassed that of Lu Sheng.

Tang Cen opened his left hand, his fingers were clean, except for the ring finger where there was a faint mark drawn by the ring near the base of the finger.

There should have been a ring on it, but it was not given by Lu Sheng, it was put on by Tang Cen himself on Tang Cen's 31st birthday in the third month of their relationship.

Not long after, Tang Cen still remembered the slight tingling sensation on his skin when Eisen stroked his fingers. Looking back now, his fingers seemed to be able to feel the coolness of the metal material on his skin.

Lu Sheng never gave Tang Cen a ring.It was a hypocritical love affair, so Lu Sheng naturally didn't think about giving Tang Cen a symbolic ring. Even the real estate certificate of that high-end apartment had Lu Sheng's name written on it.

The ring worn for a year left marks on Tang Cen's finger, but now that the ring marks are still there, the ring was thrown into the sewer by Lu Sheng a long time ago.

The ring was gone, and so was the man who had put it on his hand.

On the night when they first met in a bar in England, Eisen broke into Tang Cen's field of vision, and then disappeared from Tang Cen's world without warning one night after returning to China.

Tang Cen didn't see the bloody scene, but he knew everything from Lu Sheng.

At this moment, in Tang Cen's eyes, his hands were covered with blood.Eisen's blood dripped down Tang Cen's fingers, and landed on the white sheet, leaving deep and shallow water marks.

Amidst the suppressed whimpers and sobs, He Xiu seemed to have heard Tang Cen's answer.

There was no betrayal between Tang Cen and Lu Sheng, but after learning of Lu Sheng's cheating, Tang Cen refused to take the initiative to have any intimate contact with him even if he slept in the same bed with Lu Sheng.In the past, Lu Sheng would hold him in his arms when he fell asleep. Tang Cen liked the feeling of skin-to-skin contact, but now it made him extremely sick.

Tang Cen couldn't bear to shake off his hand, so he could only curl himself into a ball with his back to him, expressing his resistance and dissatisfaction.

At first Lu Sheng only thought that he was having trouble, but after a long time, he realized that something was wrong.No matter how he teased and hinted, Tang Cen remained indifferent, and he could even read a bit of disgust and disgust from Tang Cen's inadvertently looking at him.

Lu Sheng never thought that Tang Cen would use cold violence to deal with this matter. The once obedient and obedient person is really capable now.

On a moonless night, Lu Sheng forcefully pulled Tang Cen's shoulders and forced him to look directly at him, but Tang Cen's dodging gaze angered him: "Tang Cen, what do you mean?"

Tang Cen ruthlessly pulled away the hand holding his shoulder, pulled the quilt over his body, turned his back to Lu Sheng and said, "It's nothing interesting, I'm sleepy."

Lu Sheng was so angry that his chest heaved back and forth twice, he clenched his hands into fists and raised them, raised them twice in the air, and then put them down silently.Pulling up the other corner of the quilt, Lu Sheng lay down with his back to Tang Cen.

The two slept with their backs against each other, each harboring a ghost.

After being rejected, Lu Sheng began to sleep in flowers and willows without any scruple, and his frequent sleepovers also wiped out the last bit of Tang Cen's remaining feelings.

Early that morning, Lu Sheng dragged his suitcase and prepared to go out.When he reached the door, he said to Tang Cen who was leaning on the handrail of the stairs with his arms folded: "The company is talking about cooperation, and I'm on a business trip for a few days."

Tang Cen looked at Lu Sheng's back coldly, and silently watched him leave.

Watching the door slowly open and close before his eyes, Tang Cen felt something slipping through the crack of the door and leaving quietly following Lu Sheng's footsteps.

Don't ask where Lu Sheng is going, or when Lu Sheng will come back, these trivial things are not important to Tang Cen, he doesn't care about them.

Tang Cen figured it out, it would be embarrassing for everyone if the trouble continued like this. If he didn't have the courage to resist, he could only run away.Although he didn't question Lu Sheng why he cheated so often, at least he gave him enough face, and Tang Cen just felt bored after his anger passed.

Just when he was drinking poison to quench his thirst at the beginning, he repented when the poison entered his heart and lungs.

Tang Cen stood in the empty, unpopular living room. After he had calmed down and calmed down, he suddenly realized that he had no other place to stay besides this house.

When Lu Sheng "disappeared" for the last time, Tang Cen made up his mind to leave here, but he also knew that he would never return to the Tang family, nor would he turn to his uncle for help.Severing ties and being exiled by his father, although the uncle offered to help, he still saw all the jokes.

After being in such a mess, Tang Cen felt ashamed to go back to his original home. He also knew that as long as he stepped out of this gate, he could only rely on himself from now on.

He closed his eyes, and there was darkness in front of him, just like the way he chose.

Now there was only one way for Tang Cen to go, and that was to climb over endless dark cliffs filled with thick fog.Beneath the cliff was an abyss, and if he took a wrong step, he might fall to pieces, but now Tang Cen could only bite the bullet and walk towards the cliff.