Happy Life [Rebirth]

"The first time I saw you, I thought you were my brother."

"I regard you as the younger brother in my fantasy that doesn't exist in reality."

When Gu Tingsheng said this, the corners of his mouth were smiling, but when I looked into his eyes, there was no smile at all.

I only saw the deep sadness in the eyes of 14-year-old Gu Tingsheng.

"If you don't want to laugh..."

I told him with great effort: "Brother, don't laugh then."

I have read many miscellaneous books and essays. In the essays whose names I can't remember, the author wrote such a word, which makes me laugh but also sad.

For many years, I have understood what this word means, but I still haven't met such a person.I never thought that one day I would see such an expression on Gu Tingsheng's face.

It hurts so much to laugh but still to be sad.

Gu Tingsheng didn't take back his smile, but this time there was a smile in his eyes, his eyes and the smile on his mouth became soft and gentle.There was little tenderness, only a little bit, but it had eased a lot of the indifference on his face.

Gu Tingsheng looked at me, and he suddenly said to me: "I don't know the happiness of being a child until I grow up. Children laugh when they want to laugh, and cry when they want to cry. Only when I grow up do I realize that when people laugh, they may be crying instead." , when you cry, you laugh."

When he said this, I looked at him, Gu Tingsheng looked at me, and I saw a puzzled look on his face.

I remained silent for a long time, Gu Tingsheng asked softly in surprise, "What are you surprised about?"

I took a breath, my hands were trembling slightly, and I brought over water, the water in the glass kept shaking in circles because of my trembling hands.

Gu Tingsheng asked me why I was surprised, because the sentence he just said, the theory of a child and an adult, Gu Tingsheng who started his own business in his previous life once said exactly the same thing to me.

That year, Gu Tingsheng was only in his third year of junior high school. He started to write programs and build websites by himself, and looked for people to invest in. He was very busy every day, and it was common for him to go home in the middle of the night.

At that time, the two of us rented an apartment behind the school. I was a freshman, and I had nothing to do all day long before the professional courses were opened, so I was not in a hurry to sleep.

If Gu Tingsheng didn't come back, I sat on the sofa and waited for him. If he didn't come back at ten o'clock, I waited until eleven o'clock.He didn't come back at eleven o'clock and waited until twelve o'clock. Once he was drunk and didn't return all night, and he couldn't get through the phone, so I sat on the sofa and waited all night.

At that time, I was sick, and there were dense vines growing in my heart. I wanted to tie Gu Tingsheng to my side, to cling to him, to imprison him in my own cage, and to think that only I could stay by his side. Seeing him, I think big brother is just my big brother.

I was so sick back then.My heart is full of ghosts and ghosts, like ghosts, but in the end I still retain the character of being a human being. My skin is human after all, and I still want to walk under the sun.

In such day after day, one day I waited until one o'clock in the middle of the night again, and Gu Tingsheng stumbled home, reeking of alcohol.

I went to help him, but Gu Tingsheng ran to the toilet and vomited on the toilet.

All I could do was wring out a wet towel for him and hand him a glass of warm water. I felt useless. That day my elder brother vomited and cleaned up, but told me not to wait for him, and told me to go to bed early and take care of my health.

But that's all I can do. I don't know how to program, and I want to accompany my elder brother to various occasions. It's better to hold a glass of wine for him than to watch him suffer like this.

But I can't even do these things. My face has been gloomy and without a smile all the year round. Just looking in the mirror, I know that such a face is the most unsuitable to appear on social occasions where tactful and euphemistic Tai Chi is played.

There was nothing I could do but wait for his return in the middle of the night.

I helped Gu Tingsheng to the room. My eldest brother was lying on the bed covering his face. I bent down and touched his head, and said to him, "Brother, go to sleep."

After I finished speaking, I wanted to leave, but at that moment, I stopped, squatted down beside the bed, and looked at Gu Tingsheng covering his face - covering his eyes, I suddenly realized, is he crying?

When I had this idea at that time, I was very surprised. I didn’t know why I thought this way, but when I thought of it like this, I stopped walking. I squatted beside the bed and neither comforted nor dared to ask. He looked at Gu Tingsheng cautiously.

After a long time, Gu Tingsheng took the initiative to speak. His voice was hoarse, but he didn't cry. At that time, Gu Tingsheng first cursed: "A bunch of old foxes, catch their tails sooner or later!"

Then I heard Gu Tingsheng let out a long and sad sigh.

He said: "When I grow up, I know the happiness of being a child. Children laugh when they want to laugh, and cry when they want to cry. Only when I grow up, I understand that when people laugh, they may be crying, and when they cry, they are crying." laugh."

Just like this moment, just like what Gu Tingsheng said just now, word for word, I was extremely surprised.

Because of this, I looked at Gu Tingsheng, saw the tiredness in his eyes under his indifferent and sharp appearance, and saw the temperament in him that I always felt was against me.

"Brother, you are only 14 years old."

I put down the water glass and held my right hand with my left hand. Both hands finally stopped trembling. I told Gu Tingsheng: "But sometimes you look very tired."

This is not at all the temperament that a 14-year-old boy should have.

"Look at..." I stared at Gu Tingsheng, "It seems that I have experienced many very sad things."

After Gu Tingsheng finished my sentence, the two of us were speechless. He suddenly turned his head to look out the window, and I could only see his side face.

Gu Tingsheng said to me: "You don't look like an 11-year-old kid."

I can't answer Gu Tingsheng why, I don't want to lie to him.

"Everyone has everyone's suffering."

Gu Tingsheng stood up, took out his mobile phone and checked the time: "After walking a long way, I realized that all living beings are suffering."

"Let's go."

"It's time to go to class."

--------

I followed Gu Tingsheng silently along the way, and the two of them walked to the subway entrance, watching the crowd rushing down and coming up again, the two of them stopped in a tacit understanding.

Gu Tingsheng said, "Take a taxi to go to school."

I said to him, "That's not something you should say now."

Gu Tingsheng was confused: "What are you talking about?"

"After walking a long way, I realized that all sentient beings are suffering." I unconsciously lowered my voice, "Brother, it's ridiculous to say this at your current age."

Gu Tingsheng nodded: "I won't talk about it from now on."

He started to walk towards the side of the street, wanting to take a taxi, I looked at his back and called to him: "Let's go, we won't go to school anymore."

"Where are you going then?"

Gu Tingsheng came back with his hands in his pockets. He looked up at the sky, the sun was shining brightly and he closed his eyes. I asked him, "Is there any place you want to go?"

In the end, the two of us went to the Internet cafe.

This time I went, the Internet cafe business was very good. I looked at the little boy queuing up in front of me to turn on the machine, but he looked like he was in elementary school in his teens, and I thought this was a naked/naked skipping class.

After Gu Tingsheng issued the tickets, there was still a private room. A private room for six people is not cheap. He has a lot of money and we only have two of us, so he also ordered a five-hour private room.

Walking on the road, I saw a lot of elementary school students, so I said to Gu Tingsheng: "There are many elementary school students. They should be in class at this time, and they are all bad at it. The same goes for Internet cafes. Even middle and high school students, elementary school students also earn money."

Gu Tingsheng entered the box and looked at me, I saw a weird smile on the corner of his mouth, and then he bent down and laughed while turning the phone on.

"why are you laughing?"

I walked over and consciously opened the sofa chair and sat on it. Gu Tingsheng sat next to me. He turned his head and still smiled. Gu Tingsheng looked at me with an incredible smile: "Look in the mirror, Yang Lu!"

I looked at the black screen in front of the computer and reflected a child's face, my face.

Gu Tingsheng leaned over and turned on the computer, he said, "Aren't you a primary school student yourself?"

I had no choice but to correct Gu Tingsheng: "I'm in the first year of junior high school."

"If you don't tell me, who will be your junior high school student?"

Gu Tingsheng sat back in front of his computer, he entered the phone number, and then came over to give me this computer, he did not forget to repeat: "You really don't have the self-consciousness of a child, I have discovered it."

"You also don't have the self-awareness of a 14-year-old boy."

"What does a 14-year-old boy want?"

Gu Tingsheng has already started to enter the webpage, entered the forum and started to download software, he leaned over to find me a movie again, I stopped him: "I can use a computer."

Only then did Gu Tingsheng withdraw his body, and I also went to open the webpage, and this time I went straight to the target and entered several old literature websites.

I stared at the website page, looked at the names of the novels on the ranking list, and kept talking, answering Gu Tingsheng's question just now: "Impulsive and passionate, or moaning/groaning without illness, or hopeless in secondary school, or weak heart."

I felt that Gu Tingsheng's body beside me froze for a moment, and he spit out three words: "What the hell?"

I laughed: "A 14-year-old boy."

"But not all."

I clicked into a novel and stared at the copy, but a person appeared in my mind. In this small box crowded with six computers, I heard my voice say to him with an unstoppable smile: "The best 14-year-old boy I have ever met. He is very polite and always gentle with others. His eyes are bright and gentle. He is excellent in both studies and sports. He has a pair of very dark eyes and skin. Very white, he looks good when he smiles, very beautiful—"

Gu Tingsheng smashed the mouse, and my words stopped abruptly.

"……What are you doing?"

Gu Tingsheng curled his lips, turned his head and looked at me viciously, his eyes were obviously angry.

"You look like a 14-year-old boy." I happily told Gu Tingsheng, "Impulsive and hot-blooded, you look a little bit secondary."

Gu Tingsheng said to me: "You are a stick!"

I was stunned. After Gu Tingsheng finished speaking, he turned around and continued to fix his compiler indifferently.

After a while, I could only choke out one sentence: "...you big stick!"

The author has something to say: The typo will be corrected tomorrow, so sleepy_(:зゝ∠)_

Hello everyone~~

I heard that leaving a message to the author and hugging you will be more useful in the future! ︿(￣︶￣)︿

The Year of the Rooster is auspicious, and the big babies who read the article will be healthy in the New Year~~(^o^)/~