The whole entertainment industry begs me not to drink CP

The sky suddenly became gloomy, the surrounding air pressure suddenly dropped, and the originally hot air became dull, as if a boulder was pressing on the chest, making people breathless.

After saying that, Shen Jianxia paused for a while, and looked up at the sunny sky in front of him for a second: "It's going to rain. Shall we find a place to hide?"

Tu Bai didn't speak, but frowned, he was still immersed in his emotions and didn't come out.So Shen Jianxia took his hand, stuck her fingers into the gap between his fingers and fastened them tightly, and led him away from here.

There was no place to take shelter from the rain nearby, and they didn't go far when the sky exploded like thunder.Shen Jianxia looked around, and before the raindrops fell, she dragged Tubai into a dark corridor next to her.

Just as they hid in, the rain gushed out like an erupting volcanic lava, splashing all over the ground.The space was too crowded, and the two of them could only stand shoulder to shoulder against the wall, waiting for the rain to stop.

Shen Jianxia let go of her hand and poked her head to see the rain.The rain was falling fast, and I'm afraid it won't be able to stop for a while, so they can only be temporarily trapped in this deserted corner.

The two stood, listening to the sound of rain and thunder coming from outside, without looking at each other. Because of the rain, the air gradually became humid.

After being silent for a while, Tu Bai spoke first: "If you are willing..."

Shen Jianxia turned to look at him.

Tu Bai's mood has calmed down, and the redness from the excitement has faded from her beautiful eyes.He didn't look at Shen Jianxia, ​​but just stared at the rough stone wall opposite: "If you want, you can tell me about the family affairs."

Shen Jianxia paused for a moment, turned his gaze away, and looked at the rain curtain outside: "...do you want to hear it?"

"En." Tu Bai responded, "Didn't you say you want to show me everything about you? I'll listen to whatever you say."

Shen Jianxia didn't answer right away.

The two are standing side by side, with no eye contact between them.Tubai waited for a while, but Shen Jianxia didn't even intend to speak. He thought that the other party didn't want to say anything, and was about to say "it doesn't matter if you don't say anything", but unexpectedly, the person beside him opened his mouth:

"My parents... didn't know that I knew that I was picked up. I kept pretending that I didn't know, and they thought I didn't understand."

Tu Bai's eyes froze, his heart constricted suddenly, and he suddenly felt pain.

Amidst the noisy sound of rain and the smell of wet rain in the air, the little fox began to tell his own story.

Shen Jianxia is the child picked up by Sister Fei.As for where he was picked up, why he was picked up, who his biological parents were, and why they abandoned him, Shen Jianxia didn't know.

He couldn't ask these questions, and he couldn't expect anyone to give him answers.

He also guessed that he was most likely an abandoned baby that no one wanted, and was later picked up by the sympathetic sister Fei and brought up as his own child.

It is also possible that his biological parents and adoptive parents knew each other.The biological parents didn't want the child, but the adoptive parents just wanted a child, so they took him over to raise him, and reached an agreement that the biological parents could never see the child.

Anyway, anything is possible, it's not like Shen Jianxia hasn't watched the family ethics drama at [-] o'clock.

But he knew that Sister Fei and Shen Bin must have kindly brought him back to take care of him.

The Shen family runs a snack bar, and all kinds of distant relatives and neighbors in the family often visit the store, and even come to chat with Sister Fei when they are free.Shen Jianxia grew up in the store. When he was a child, the adults liked to tease him, and often asked him in a half-truthful tone: "Shen Jianxia, ​​you were picked up by your mother, do you believe it or not?"

After growing up, Shen Jianxia learned how to surf the Internet, and then realized that everyone has such bear relatives. He especially likes to make such malicious jokes on children, forcing them to ask "I like my mother more or my father more." , "Your mother doesn't want you anymore", "You were picked up by your parents", until the children were so anxious that they burst into laughter, as if they could get a huge sense of accomplishment from it.

Different from others, Shen Jianxia hoped that the words "you are not born of your parents" were jokes made by relatives.

But this is no joke.

This is a fact.

Shen Jianxia had already forgotten how old she was when she first heard a relative say to herself, "You were picked up by your mother", five years old?six years old?Still seven years old?His memory has long been blurred.At that time, he didn't care about these words, he didn't believe them at all, he just thought these adults were disgusting.

He must have been born to his parents, how could he be picked up, these adults are too annoying.

There were so many jokes, Shen Jianxia didn't care too much.There was only one time, but it left a deep impression on him.

He remembered that the store was dimly lit that night, there were no customers, and his mother cooked a bowl of wontons for his six or seven-year-old self.A relative from the aunt's generation happened to come to visit and sat opposite him, with a dim and old chandelier above their heads.

The aunt looked lovingly at Shen Jianxia who was buried in eating wontons, and suddenly said: "Shen Jianxia, ​​do you know? You were picked up by your mother."

Shen Jianxia heard this kind of joke a lot, he didn't even raise his head: "I don't believe it."

"It's true." He didn't look up, and didn't see the aunt with a meaningful smile on her face, "When you were born, the country didn't allow the second child, you can ask others, you can see that other people's families are only children A girl. Your mother only gave birth to your elder brother, and you were picked up by your mother from outside to raise you later."

"You're talking nonsense." Shen Jianxia frowned, stopped the spoon, raised her head and stared at her.

What's abnormal is that in the past, when someone made such a joke with Shen Jianxia, ​​Sister Fei would reprimand them in time for "don't talk nonsense with children".But this time, she kept silent.

Mom didn't refute, Shen Jianxia suddenly felt a little uneasy, and she was no longer so confident.

"If you don't believe me, you can ask your mother if what I said is true." Auntie pouted at Fat Sister who was sitting beside her.

Feeling more and more uneasy, Shen Jianxia turned to look at Sister Fei, her small face was full of anxiety: "Mom, is it true?"

"Don't listen to your aunt's nonsense." Hearing Shen Jianxia's question, Sister Fei finally opened her mouth, "She was teasing you. You were born to me, my own son."

After finishing speaking, she glared at her aunt: "Why do you tell children this? Don't talk nonsense. "

With the answer stamped by her mother herself, Shen Jianxia's uneasy heart finally calmed down.He was still young at that time, and he never noticed the embarrassment on his mother's face.

Adults think that children don't remember things when they are young, and they always like to make some stupid jokes, but they don't know that children have a bright heart and understand everything.

But it's a joke, the adults didn't reveal anything to Shen Jianxia.Although parents are always partial to my brother and sometimes don't take his feelings into consideration, it's not that they treat him badly.Therefore, Shen Jianxia has never doubted that she is not her own.

Until the age of 12, my aunt told outsiders in front of Shen Jianxia that Shen Jianxia was a picked child.

The little aunt is Sister Fei's biological sister, but the relationship between the two sisters is not good.Shen Jianxia is young, eight years younger than Shen Guangzong, so the family only treats him as a child, and rarely tells him what happened in the past at home, he can only piece together what happened in fragmentary words.

It turned out that the little aunt was gambler by nature and had a tendency to be violent. She often beat her uncle to the point where her whole body was injured, which led to the breakdown of the marriage.Sister Fei has always disliked this younger sister, thinking that her character is not good.

Before Shen Jianxia was born, once, my little aunt lost 2 yuan in gambling in the chess and card room in Chengfeng Lane. Her eyes were red and she lost her mind.She lost money and was eager to make a comeback, so she hurried to the nearby Shen's house and threatened Sister Fei to give her 2 yuan, otherwise she would find someone to tie Shen Guangzong up.

Threatened by her own sister with her precious son, Sister Fei was terribly angry.The money was given, but the relationship between the sisters has deteriorated since then.Although it wasn't to the point of tearing her skin apart, when she mentioned this younger sister, Sister Fei always looked like she hated iron.

The most common sentence Fei Jie said is "gamblers are inhuman", but the holidays between the parents will not affect the children's communication, and there is a grandmother in the middle to reconcile, the two families have always been on the same page. Living close, Shen Jianxia and Shen Guangzong still often play with their little aunt's daughter, cousin Ye Qing.

When Shen Jianxia was eleven or twelve years old, most of her peers entered puberty, which was easy to be sad and sad. Along with her body's development, the rebellious period also came on fiercely.That year, Shen Jianxia, ​​who had just suffered from secondary illness, was obsessed with literature. He often saved the lunch money given to him by his sister Fei, and went to the newsstand on time on the [-]th of every month to buy a magazine called "Youth" with great relish. Read the story inside.

Having read a lot of novels, Shen Jianxia felt that he could also write, so he started to write and conceived his first short story.

To this day, Shen Jianxia has long forgotten the content of the first story she wrote.The only thing he remembers is that at that time, the "Boyhood" magazine's requirement for short stories was about 3600 to 4000 words.At that time, the Internet was not yet popular, and there was no computer at home. Shen Jianxia wrote the story by hand on letterhead paper. He had to fill seven letterhead papers to make up about 3500 words.

After the story is finished, I fold the thick manuscript paper in half, stuff it into an envelope, write the address and zip code of the magazine editorial department, put a stamp on it, and put it into the dark green mailbox on the side of the street, waiting for it to fly to where it should be. Places to go.

Shen Jianxia was very lucky, the first handwritten manuscript mailed to the editorial department received a handwritten letter from the editor of the magazine.Although the childish and ridiculous little story was not published, the editor patiently pointed out his many deficiencies in the letter, and also gave some writing guidance and suggestions.

That was the first time Shen Jianxia received guidance and encouragement in writing.

After writing the first story, there will be a second and a third... In the beginning, Shen Jianxia's novels were all written by hand, and the editor would write back to him every time.After exchanging three or four letters in this way, the editor suggested in the letter that Shen Jianxia use a more convenient computer to write and submit manuscripts by e-mail.

Shen saw that Xia's family didn't have a computer, so he continued to write by hand, and whenever he got inspiration, he would write it down in textbooks, draft pads, letterheads, and wherever there was blank space.After the story was written, I took advantage of the weekend and ran to my aunt's house to borrow a computer with the cheek, registered an email, typed the story written on the paper word by word, and clicked send.

The little aunt has a mean face, her body shape is the opposite of that of the fat sister, she is skinny, with prominent cheekbones, and a pair of eyebrows that are sculpted and curved and thin, like two sharp sickles, she is not easy to mess with.Shen Guangzong loves her and is afraid of her, but that year Shen Jianxia ran to her house the most frequently, even Shen Guangzong found it incredible.

Shen Jianxia didn't think there was anything wrong, but he always felt that his little aunt was very indifferent to him, as if he didn't like him very much, but sometimes his little aunt would still keep him for dinner.

How can a child want so much, Shen Jianxia only acts as a little aunt and doesn't like to go to the computer all the time, so every time I go, I will call her in advance to ask her if it is convenient, and politely stay after using the computer to help do some housework within my ability.

One weekend, after having lunch at home, Shen Jianxia ran to her aunt's house to borrow a computer as usual, and before leaving home, she was scolded by Sister Fei: "Why do you always go to your aunt's house to play games!"

It just so happened that a female guest from afar came to my aunt's house that day. When Shen Jianxia came, they were sitting in the living room chatting.Seeing Shen Jianxia, ​​the two stopped chatting, and the little aunt said to Shen Jianxia, ​​"Here we are."

Shen Jianxia nodded sensiblely, and said hello to them: "Hello, little aunt, hello, aunt."

"Hello." The guest nodded and smiled at him.

After Shen Jianxia changed her shoes, she walked to the computer desk in the corner of the living room, sat down, turned on the computer skillfully, opened the webpage, logged in to the mailbox, and then typed in the draft box.

The little aunt and the guest were chatting while eating melon seeds on the sofa, and the topic naturally turned to Shen Jianxia. The guest asked, "A Rong, whose child is this?"

"This is my eldest sister's son." The little aunt said while nibbling sunflower seeds.

"Is your elder sister's son so old?" The guest was surprised, "I remember, it seems to be... Shen Guangzong, right?"

"It's not Shen Guangzong." The little aunt spat the melon seeds in her mouth onto the table and said slowly, "This is the one my sister picked up."

The guest showed a suddenly realized expression, lowered his voice, and gave a meaningful "Oh--".

Until she grew up, every time she thinks back, Shen Jianxia still feels that the summer afternoon when she was 12 years old was the peak moment of her acting skills in her life.

He sat with his back to the two elders, his fingers didn't stop, he was still tapping on the keyboard, typing quickly, as if he didn't hear that sentence at all just now.His hand speed was already very fast, and even a small piece of skin on his fingertips began to harden, which might turn into a callus in the future.

After typing all the manuscripts, Shen Jianxia quickly checked the typos, and after sending the email, he turned off the webpage and the computer, sat in front of the computer and hesitated for a few minutes, then stood up and said goodbye to the little aunt: "Little aunt , I'm done with the computer, now I'm going home."

"Shen Jianxia, ​​leave after dinner at my place." Hearing Shen Jianxia's voice, the little aunt turned to look at him, and the chat between her and the guest had already shifted to other topics, "I bought something today. Hairy crab, don't you like to eat this?"

"No, my mother told me to go home for dinner tonight. I'll go home first, and see you again, little aunt." Shen Jianxia had already gone to the entrance to change her shoes, and politely said goodbye to the two elders sitting on the sofa, "Goodbye, auntie .”

Shen Jianxia went back to her home for dinner on time that day, her expression was as usual, and her reaction was calm, as if she hadn't heard anything.Sister Fei also asked him strangely: "Didn't your little aunt leave you at home for dinner today?"

However, from that day on, he never went to his little aunt's house, and always avoided her.When he needs to type, he either goes to the house of a classmate who has a computer at home, or sneaks to the black Internet cafe at the end of the street with a thief who lives on the same street.Amidst the din of game BGM and yelling and killing, Shen Jianxia sat in the corner of the Internet cafe, endured the choking smell of cigarettes, silently tapped on the keyboard to write, and wrote the first article in his life that was officially published. Novels published in journals.

Shen Jianxia didn't come to his house anymore, even his little aunt felt strange, and even called home to ask Sister Fei why no one came over.When Sister Fei sent the message, Shen Jianxia shook her head at her: "The business in the store is busy, I won't play games in the future, I will help at home."

"Son is really sensible." Sister Fei didn't think much, praised him, and said into the phone receiver, "He said he wanted to help in the store, but he couldn't go."

Shen Jianxia sometimes felt that she was too precocious and frighteningly calm.

In fact, it is very clear when you think about it. He was 12 years old that year, and his brother Shen Guangzong was eight years older than him. At that time, his father and mother were nearly 50 years old-this age difference is normal for the eldest son, but for the younger son. Words, but a little outrageous.

Sometimes friends who play with him will ask Shen Jianxia why his parents are so old, they are almost the same age as their grandparents.Shen Jianxia replied every time: "Because my brother is already 20 years old, and I am the youngest son in the family."

I’ve also encountered people who were completely out of their minds, and insisted on breaking the casserole and asking the end: “Isn’t your family overborn? How did you escape? Was it fined? How much was the fine?”

There were also people who were outspoken and joked with Shen Jianxia, ​​saying: "You look so good-looking, you don't look like your parents at all, did your parents pick you up?"

When I was young, I didn't think carefully about the strangeness, but later Shen Jianxia discovered that there were so many flaws, and they were always in front of my eyes, so I didn't need him to look for them.

Why are my parents so much older than me; why does he look nothing like his family; why his relatives always liked to joke with him when he was a child, saying that he was picked; why all the cousins ​​of the same generation are "light" In the first generation, only his single name is "Xia"; why does he always have a weird feeling when getting along with his little aunt...

Just because he is a picked up child, an outsider.

Reminiscent of that night when he was a child, he was sitting in the shop, eating a bowl of hot wontons sweating profusely, and the aunt's smile became more and more ambiguous under the dim light.She said to herself "you were picked up by your mother", Shen Jianxia raised her head in a daze, her mother's face was hazy in the rising heat of the soup, but he clearly saw the complicated expression on her face .

Everything is clear.

This is the secret that Shen Jianxia has been hiding in his heart all this time. He doesn't know how many people know about his life experience. Do all the people living in this dilapidated alley know?Do the neighbors in the neighborhood know?Then the classmates around him, and the friends who played with him from childhood to adulthood, do they also know?

He didn't dare to think about it, nor did he dare to guess, for he was afraid that one day he would hear words like "Oh, my mother said, Shen Jianxia picked it up" from his friend.

When Shen Jianxia was 12 years old, she lost all her self-confidence and grew up with low self-esteem and self-doubt. The only way to vent was writing, looking for a sense of self-identity and her own position in words.He longs for love and approval from everyone, but he thinks he is unworthy of himself.

The world constructed by literature is the utopia Shen Jianxia built for himself. He locked himself in an ivory tower, poked his head out of a narrow window, and looked up at the starry sky.He carefully protected himself, and at the same time completely sealed himself up.

Later, when I was 15 years old, because of the diary I wrote in Qzone, my little aunt and the Shen family broke up completely, and they never had any contact with each other.The only spiritual world also completely collapsed, and Shen Jianxia's mental journey behind the literature was exposed to everyone's vision.He became even more flustered. Apart from the shame of being prying into his privacy, he also felt that he was a waste that would only bring trouble to his parents.

The rain was still falling, and it didn't slow down at all. Tubai breathed the moist air, and felt that the raindrops were pouring into his heart, turning into tears and winding down, drop by drop. .

"I was abandoned by my biological parents when I was born, and then picked up and brought up by my current parents. Although they didn't care as much for me as they did for my brother, I was already grateful. If they didn't have their compassion at that time, I might It is impossible to survive in this world." Shen Jianxia stared at the stagnant water on the ground outside, and when the bean-sized raindrops hit it, there were layers of ripples, and his voice was very weak, "They are good enough to me. I can't, I can't Can't ask for more."

In Shen Jianxia's heart, he decided very early on that he was not worthy of being loved.

Otherwise, why would the biological parents abandon themselves.

Otherwise, why would the adoptive parents be so partial? No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't compare to their own son.

Otherwise, why could the relatives tell others so casually in front of him, "Shen Jianxia was picked up".

Shen Jianxia is not a person who is good at verbal expression, nor is he born to get along well with everyone. Those superficial popularity is because he forced himself to change his original withdrawn and introverted personality bit by bit, and slowly developed it. of.

I want to be liked by everyone, but feel humbled that I am not worthy. I always feel that it is my fault that I am not doing well enough.Shen Jianxia lives in such contradictions, sometimes she is very confident, and sometimes she feels that she is a useless waste, and finally develops a mask that is used to smiling.

But he can only do this at most, he has tried his best.

Only words are his habitat, and only readers are people who can understand his inner loneliness and resonate with him.

He can't care about anything anymore, because what his family has given him is enough.It's not that parents don't love him, it's just that they love their own son more subconsciously.

"You must have been very tired when you were young." Tu Bai was silent for a while, then said softly.

He didn't dare to think how sensitive and fragile a child in adolescence was. It was at that age that Shen Jianxia knew her life experience.

How sad he must be, not only pretending to be ignorant, but also paralyzing himself over and over again, telling himself not to care.

"Well. At that time, the TV series you played were not always replayed. I like your role in "Republic of China" the most. Because I like it so much, I kept watching it, and then I still pestered my mother Bought me a whole set of DVDs, and every day when I come home from school, I have to use the DVDs in the store to play your TV dramas, and the customers are getting tired of watching them." Speaking of happy things, Shen Jianxia smiled, and his tone became relaxed, " At that time, I was relying on your TV series to breathe a sigh of relief. Probably because I liked the role you played in the drama so much, and then I couldn’t help but put this kind of love on the actors, and started to pay attention to you silently, and became your fan fan."

Tu Bai remembered that he played a villain who was abandoned by his parents when he was born in "Romantic Romance of the Republic of China".Because of the tragic experience of being abandoned in childhood, this villain has a distorted personality, and when he grows up, he becomes a pitiful and pathetic villain.

This character was one of Tu Bai's masterpieces when he was a child. It was because of his penetrating performance at that time that he aroused the sympathy of the audience, thinking that he was a villain who could not be hated even though he had done all the evil things. .

The actors playing the adult villains are far less impressive by comparison.It can be said that this role was supported by Tu Bai alone.

Shen Jianxia... probably found a resonance from this character.

But he's not a bad guy.

"It's a good thing you didn't grow crooked, it's a good thing you didn't turn bad, it's a good thing you became what you are now." Thinking of this, Tu Bai sighed, then smiled again, "Thank you for your hard work."

"I'm not good now either." Shen Jianxia laughed at herself, with the corners of her lips hooked into a careless smile, "Vulgar and philistine."

"There is no perfect person in this world." Tubai paused, staring at the wall, "Everyone has their own shortcomings."

"But no one likes a person like me who has only flaws." Shen Jianxia answered quickly, her tone sounding like she didn't care anymore.

Hearing his answer, Tu Bai was silent for a moment, then turned around suddenly, before Shen Jianxia could react, she quickly stretched out her arms, hugged his waist forcefully, raised her head and rested her chin on his. On the shoulder: "Who said no."

Faced with this sudden hug, Shen Jianxia was stunned.He tensed the muscles in his back, his whole body was stiff, his arms were hanging down helplessly, and he even forgot to give Tu Bai a hug back at the first time as usual.

Amidst the deafening clatter of the rainwater hitting the ground, Shen Jianxia breathed the damp moisture in the air, her chest heaving.The space was cramped, the body of the person in his arms was soft and hot, his lips were pressed against his ears, and he softly and firmly said the answer he had been waiting for:

"But I like you, Shen Jianxia."

The author has something to say: Let me put a small reminder: Xiao Tubai was involved in Jian Xia's growth experience, and buried the thread a long time ago, so let's make a fool of it first hehehe.

Also, I haven't stopped updating, I'm honestly, diligently and obediently updating!Don't fatten me up oh oh oh oh QAQ