Xijing Chronicle

"I've been wondering why my elder brother said that to me at the end."

That day has always occupied a stubborn corner in Jin Xuenian's memory, and every time he thinks about it, even the trajectory of every snowflake falling is clearly vivid in his mind.

As the folk saying goes, "It's cold in March, and it's hot in the three volts." At that time, it was just entering Sanjiu, and it was unbearably cold. Jin Xuenian suddenly learned that his elder brother had been arrested and was about to be executed in Dongshi. At the risk of questioning the crime, he secretly escaped from the Chen residence and hid in a dark alley not far from the execution ground. While avoiding the search of the Chen residence, he waited for Jin Xuanying to be taken to the execution ground.

No one in the Chen residence remembered to make winter clothes for him, so he could only wrap the few shirts around his body, but those thin fabrics could not keep out the cold at all, he huddled in the corner, feeling that his hands and feet were numb after a while.

But at that time, his heart was strangely hot. He had already made up his mind. After sending his elder brother off for the last time, he was determined not to endure it any longer. He was just an inconspicuous junior of the Jin family, and he couldn't afford anything. The burden of revenge, his self-esteem, his arrogance, and everything he was once proud of have been trampled to the extreme during this period of time, and he doesn't even understand why he can still live until now.

He opened his eyes, but couldn't see a ray of light in the vast darkness.

But as soon as he thought that he was about to be relieved, his mood suddenly became lighter and he cheered up. He only felt that the howling cold wind and the snowdrops rolling down on his body didn't look cold anymore.

The relationship between him and his eldest brother is actually not that good. This time, he came here not so much to send Jin Xuanying off for the last time, but to see the Jin family completely destroyed, as if it could symbolize that part of the past was completely destroyed The end, this is actually his last farewell for himself.

Time seemed to have passed only for a moment, but it seemed to have passed for a long time. He curled up there, lost the concept of time, squinted and counted the snowflakes falling from the sky, his eyes were sometimes awake and sometimes blurred, and his whole soul seemed to float. With those snowflakes flying on the ground together, there is no shackles, no whipping, no punishment, no contemptuous laughter and insulting words, so free.

Then when the time came, Jin Xuanying was sitting in the prison car. Although his body was covered in blood and his hair was unkempt, his posture was still upright. He sat there, against the gray world, like a stick stuck in the dust. Long tassels, the tassels of the spear fluttering uncontrollably in the wind, the tip of the spear pointing directly at the sky, as if making a final question to the heaven and the earth with the whole body, the clank and iron bones are soul-stirring.The people followed behind the prison car with tears in their eyes, and the long line could not see the end.

He is not like a prisoner about to go to the execution ground, but more like a king surrounded by all people.

Jin Xuenian crawled out of the dark alley where he was hiding, and watched from a distance, the excitement and enthusiasm in his heart suddenly fell silent. At that moment, he finally saw the distance between himself and his elder brother - one of them was always tall, and the other could only be in the distance forever. Rolling in the dust and mud, looking up with inferiority and envy.

He was caught in the crowd and wanted to escape here, but the flow of people led him forward. When Jin Xuanying was tied up and knelt on the ground, all the people knelt on the ground with him in unison. Pat, standing there in a daze, like a plucked pheasant, pitiful and lonely.

By the time he realized it was too late, Jin Xuanying had already noticed him, and he heard the man say, come here, in an indifferent and calm tone, just like the man's expression when his marksmanship was wrong in the past.

……

"I've been thinking about it today, why does my elder brother still say such things to me when he knows that the Jin family is not innocent? He doesn't bother to lie all his life, but he makes an exception at the last moment..."

In the torrential rain, the thin middle coat has long been useless, sticking pitifully to the owner's body, outlining a tall, thin and slightly thin body.

However, Jin Xuenian didn't seem to feel the bone-piercing chill, her voice was faint, as if all the temperature had been washed away with the rain.

"Now I have a little understanding. Those words of the elder brother have the same meaning as what you said just now, young master." Jin Xuenian lightly brushed the hands on his shoulders, lowered his eyes, and sealed all emotions. He kept his eyes open, and no longer revealed the slightest thing, "I understand the young master's intentions, and I should not say such things in the future." He was really afraid of himself, and he couldn't help but want to believe...

Gu Huaisheng pursed his lips, his dark and gloomy eyes locked tightly on him: "You don't believe it?"

"..." Jin Xuenian looked at him without evasiveness. They were clearly so close that they could be touched, but the rain curtain and the night seemed to separate them. Their eyes were so similar, as if they were brightening the world. It's all sucked up, leaving only endless darkness.

For a moment, Jin Xuenian was a little confused, but this emotion was quickly shaken off by him, stubbornly refusing to look away first.

They fell into a stalemate like this, Gu Huaisheng suddenly sighed, stretched out his hand to caress Jin Xuenian's eyelids, the eyelashes under his fingertips trembled slightly reflexively, but Gu Huaisheng smiled softly.

Such eyes... only those who crawled out of hell will have eyes.

"What are you laughing at?" Jin Xuenian was puzzled.

Gu Huaisheng didn't speak any more, but pulled him into the room without a doubt and pressed him on the edge of the bed. He didn't speak again until the door was closed and a dry cloth fell on Jin Xuenian's head.

"If you don't believe me, what do you want me to do?"

He pressed Jin Xuenian's head, and slowly wiped his hair for him, with a force that was contrary to his peaceful tone, as if he was hiding something under this calm appearance.

Before Jin Xuenian could answer, he continued on his own: "If I can't convince you, then you insist on dying?"

The room fell into a brief silence, Jin Xuenian pursed his lips, and Gu Huaisheng held his wet hair in his palm unhurriedly, as if waiting patiently.

This was a silent confrontation. As time passed, the atmosphere slowly solidified, slowly pressing on Jin Xuenian's heart like a huge rock. He opened his mouth, and his voice was unexpectedly hoarse: "I ..."

"Did you forget that I saved your life, and you still owe me a large debt?" Gu Huaisheng knelt down/body, and slowly wiped the water off his face, "I still owe you a lot of money." How dare you die before you fulfill your promise to work for me?"

"Gu Huaisheng!" Jin Xuenian put his hand on his shoulder and called him hastily, being forced to do so, this was the first time Gu Huaisheng heard him call his name.He exhaled slowly, and continued, "Don't..."

After only uttering two words in a sentence, the upper body felt a chill, but the rest of the words were all choked in his throat.Jin Xuenian's pupils shrank suddenly, and he gathered his inner strength in his palms, trying to shake the person in front of him away, but he has only learned a lot of skills, and all of them were taught by Gu Huaisheng, how can this little inner strength shake Gu Huaisheng.

"Don't wear wet clothes, you'll catch a cold."

Gu Huaisheng slowly pulled his drenched jacket to his waist, and then glanced at him. There was a hint of danger in those dark and unpredictable eyes, which made Jin Xuenian's heart sink to the bottom of the valley. .I saw Gu Huaisheng pinching the hand on his shoulder, without seeing how hard he was, he easily pushed back behind Jin Xuenian, and wrapped it tightly with the cloth. Jin Xuenian struggled twice, but he didn't move at all. There is no possibility of breaking free.

"Gu Huaisheng..."

Jin Xuenian finally gave up struggling, closed her eyes, and there was a look of hopelessness between her brows.When Gu Huaisheng saw it, he felt as if his heart had been pricked by a needle. There was a faint stabbing pain, lingering like threads, slowly entangled a full and sour heart, filled with the indisputable anger that had originally filled it. Gradually dissipated, and in a blink of an eye, it was suppressed by another more strange and unbearable emotion.

He stretched out his hand to cover Jin Xuenian's eyebrows and eyes, leaned over and touched his lips, and murmured: "You don't believe it..."

After finishing speaking, he leaned forward again, bit Jin Xuenian's lips, and rubbed them gently on his lips.Jin Xuenian was stiff when he kissed her for the first time, and now she is even more motionless, like a stone statue.Gu Huaisheng sighed softly, and gently but irresistibly pushed him back on the bed, while he gently covered himself up.

When he was young, he also kissed a woman. It is human nature to love a man and a woman, not to mention that the woman was bestowed by his father to teach him sexual intercourse, so naturally he would not refuse.

But the memory of that time is already blurred, the feeling was shocking and intoxicating at the time, and now if I think about it again, I can't remember anything.This is the first time he has kissed a man. In the past, if someone told him that he would kiss a man one day, he would definitely sneer, but now he is holding the lips of the man under him with his teeth, and he feels that it is actually not so serious. Difficult to accept.

There seems to be no difference between kissing a man and kissing a woman, the lips are as soft.

He felt that he had done enough acting, so he let go of Jin Xuenian's lips, wiped the dripping water with his fingertips, and asked hoarsely, "Don't you believe it?"

Jin Xuenian still closed his eyes, and his body was still stiff. Gu Huaisheng looked at him steadily, his eyebrows were slightly raised, his mood did not calm down, but it became more complicated, as if someone had tied a knot inside, even himself. Can't solve it.

He just frowned, and kissed for the third time, this time he put his tongue into Jin Xuenian's lips, but only touched two rows of tightly closed teeth. He groped for an acupuncture point on Jin Xuenian's waist and pressed it down. Jin Xuenian groaned in pain, and he just took the opportunity to sneak in. Although his movements were gentle as before, they brought out a strength that could not be seen in ordinary times. , Siege the city and seize the territory, until the person under him made a muffled sound out of breath, and then he let it go mercifully.

Jin Xuenian's chest heaved violently due to the short-term lack of oxygen, the corners of his eyes were red, some physiological tears overflowed, and his lips were red and swollen, but all these could not stop his terribly pale face.

"...don't do this," he muttered with a dry and hoarse voice, with indescribable fatigue and numbness, "please, don't be like this..."

Gu Huaisheng was silent for a moment, looked at his empty eyes, wiped away the tears from the corners of his eyes, and his voice became hoarse: "I'm sorry, did it remind you of something bad..."

Jin Xuenian didn't speak.

Gu Huaisheng's series of actions just now did remind him of bad memories.He doesn't remember the exact time, but he only remembers that it seemed to be spring, by the edge of a pool, and he also forgot the reason, but he only remembered that he was naked, and many people pressed his head, pushing him into the water, and it was cold. The water poured into his lungs, he couldn't struggle no matter what, he could only slowly lose consciousness in the suffocation, but at the last moment, the group of people lifted him out again, he gasped for breath, finally Yi survived, and was pushed back into the water the next moment.

The shackles that could not be broken free, the air that was gradually being taken away, the cold bedding, and the wet clothes, all of these reminded him of the events at that time, those nightmares that he could never get rid of...

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." Gu Huaisheng still apologized in his ear, even when he was so disturbed at this moment, he could hear the remorse and sincerity in his words.While apologizing, Gu Huaisheng untied the clothes in his hands and held him in his arms.

To be honest, this hug was not pleasant, because Gu Huaisheng's clothes were still wet, and when he touched him, he was so cold that he couldn't help but shuddered, and the goose bumps on his body stood up, but even so, his heart But gradually settled down.

I don't know how long it has passed like this, but human voices finally sounded in the room.

"...I won't seek death easily," Jin Xuenian uttered each word with difficulty, raised her head, and looked straight at the ceiling through Gu Huaisheng's messy hair, "So you can rest assured that you don't have to worry about it anymore." Keep lying to me like this."

Gu Huaisheng paused, and was about to say something more, but Jin Xuenian pushed him lightly and blocked all his words: "Get up, be careful of catching cold after wearing wet clothes for so long, I'll go back and change. "

Gu Huaisheng followed his strength and sat up, but he vainly blocked him behind his arms, not letting him leave: "It's raining so heavily outside, if you run again, you might die, because tonight I'm here Sleep here, your stature is not much different from mine, and my clothes should be similar to yours...Let's leave tomorrow."

Jin Xuenian thought about it, she really didn't have any clothes to wear back, and she wasn't pretentious, so she nodded lightly in response: "Then I'll trouble you."

The author has something to say:

I wanted to drive, but I always felt that something was missing, so I stopped at the door _(:з」∠)_, next time...

By the way, you can pay attention to my Weibo, I basically don’t use Weibo, but if there is a surprise (throw a look and you will understand)