seven or seven

The life after the college entrance examination can be said to be the most leisure time in life.Lan You held a can of beer in his right hand, and walked leisurely on the river bank.

The moonlight on June 6 was not very bright, and it was so foggy that he seemed to be unable to see clearly. He sat alone on the grass by the river bank, drank a few sips of wine, closed his eyes and thought for a while, leisurely with sadness, as if Moonlight couldn't bear to look at it, and hid secretly.

He also wanted to go to the heavy rain a few days ago, which made him seem to be much cleaner.Sitting alone under the night sky, counting the stars boredly, only to find that there are no stars, no moon, no sorrow or joy tonight.

No matter how hard they work, they study hard, thinking that being a good boy is the way out, but they find that life has no way out for them.

Is this sad?Fortunately, we still have room for turning around.

As long as you choose to keep yourself safe now, stop talking about those unrealistic dreams, and be a good boy in peace, everything seems to be fine.

Slowly, the madness of you and me will be buried by time. Everything we loved, hated, and pursued, as long as it is quiet, it will sink to extinction. life, good family.

A caring and gentle wife, a naughty but cute child, as long as he earns some money to support the family, even if he cheats, he will be forgiven.

As long as you give up those too persistent thoughts, from now on, Lan You can put on the mask of a good student again and be a good person.Studying, studying, pursuing a girl who is more interested, working for a few years, going on blind dates, buying a house and a car, getting married and having children, you will also have troubles about daily necessities, but as long as you don’t get divorced, everything is whitewashing, and it doesn’t matter.

This kind of life, the rarest happiness in the eyes of others, is within my reach, so should I choose to give up?

Deceive yourself, your future wife and children, and smile and say "wife, I love you" to your parents, relatives and friends with disgust, and tell them that you are a normal person now.

is it?

As long as you pretend to be able to live the best life, it doesn’t matter even if you are the kind of person you least want to be, as long as others think you are good, as long as your parents look happy is enough?Is such a life good?

Once we choose to resist, all kinds of aunts and aunts will come one after another, doing all kinds of things that make you sick in the name of "for your own good", and telling you "If you don't understand now, you will understand later !"

No!

No.

don't want···

This kind of life is not the life I want.

The value of a person has never been judged by whether he is married or not, or whether he has children or not.Sexual orientation is just a choice. You like apples and I like peaches. Why do you call me a pervert?

Lan You occasionally played on Weibo, but seeing all the trolls and keyboard warriors in it, he decisively uninstalled it.

One day the news that the girl studying abroad was kidnapped, how could the murderer be blah blah blah.Lan Qiao went in, but only saw a bunch of people below saying, "Hehe, if you have the money, go abroad and burn it! You deserve to die", and they also said "worship foreigners, if you have the ability, don't go back to China, it's better to die outside!".

Lan You closed the webpage and searched several key words "female tailgating", "unmarried surrogacy", "homosexuality" and "married virgin".

What happened to this world?

When you meet gangsters, you are "serve it, who told you to wear revealing clothes", and if you are not married and gay, you are "perverted, violating human ethics, damn it".

I know that everyone in the world has the right to freedom of speech, but at the same time, everyone has the right to choose their own life.

Some people always say "You deserve to be scolded for doing this!"

But the question is who deserves it?

Lan You remembers that there was an episode of "The Story of Strange Flowers", which said that the protagonist of the scandal should be abused by thousands of people?

Yes, a scandal, but what is the criterion for judging a scandal?Who judged it?When the public, without knowing the situation, organizes a group to criticize a person as worthless, only to find out that this is not the case at all, then who did they provoke?You just say "I'm sorry"?

On the Internet, we wear masks to speak in order to be able to communicate with more people and get rid of the constraints of gender, age and region.When cyber violence becomes a weapon of murder and the executioner sharpens his knife countless times, what should we say?

We can't say anything, because we will be affected and criticized, we can only keep silent, but I can only ask in my heart, what happened to this world?

His thoughts diverged too much under the influence of alcohol, and he thought of those who had seen too much injustice, those who would always swear no matter what happened, those who would only attack others from that angle .

Violence is not as simple as beating and being beaten. When the scars are engraved in the mind, no matter how much I am sorry, it will not be able to replace a broken young heart.

Lan You and Fu Lin have always been called brothers, going in and out together every day, like conjoined twins.Every time after class, Fu Lin would hold the meal card in his hand and wait for him on the stairs on the second floor. Slowly, those girls who tended to be corrupt began to arrange the two of them. They felt bad, but they were powerless. Stop it, because the more excited you are, the more you will be on the cusp of the storm, so even if you are annoyed, you can only grit your teeth and endure it, even if you grit your teeth, you can only swallow it with your own blood.

Slowly, the rumors became louder and louder, and the voice of "joking" often came from their ears, and they could only ignore it.

Before Fu Lin's accident, everyone around them already knew about their relationship, so they stopped covering it up and went to the cafeteria holding hands openly.

Gradually, Lan You found that he began to lose things. At that time, he was still living in school. One day when he went back at noon, he was about to take a shower, but found that there was only an empty bottle of shower gel left. When he opened the shampoo, there were The red liquid smells like chili sauce.His ointment was cut, his toothbrush was broken, and the washbasin had a hole in it, like a pile of rubbish.

Lan You sighed, even if he chooses this path, he must accept everything.He silently picked up his things and was about to throw them into the trash can in the public bathroom, but he saw his sheets and quilt in the big trash can.

How much malice can there be between people?

The most strict management in this school is the dormitory. If you don't make the bed sheets or the quilt, you are basically waiting for death.The teacher, the head teacher, etc., held meetings to criticize you one after another, and spit flew all over your face. You couldn't wipe it off clearly, but you could only wipe it off by your sleeve while they turned around.

When I went back in the afternoon, Lan You bought a new sheet and quilt cover, intending to spread it, but when I reached out, I felt that the whole mattress was wet.

A smiling voice came from behind, and the man said, "I'm sorry, I accidentally spilled it on your bed while washing my hair!"

Lan You looked at the roommates who lived together for nearly three years in the dormitory. Some people whispered, and occasionally raised their heads to glance at him and then quickly lowered their heads to discuss. Full of pride, he raised his head high and looked at himself like a presumptuous rooster.

That day was the first time that Lan You was so angry. He was not angry with their actions, but angry that they had been in the same dormitory for two and a half years, and they treated him like this because of such a trivial matter.

In the winter of 2016, when the first snow fell, Lan You punched the people in his dormitory, and then turned into a group fight.In fact, it wasn't a group fight, it was just a unilateral beating.

Four people beat one, not to mention that Lan You was in poor health and was shorter than everyone else, so he was beaten badly.But even so, he didn't stop his fist. He knew that he would never go back after making a shot, but he still didn't want to endure it like this.He just fell in love with someone of the same sex, but was regarded as a plague god.

Fighting is a good show for the small animals that have been imprisoned in this cage for a long time, so I called friends and went to 515 to watch the fight together.

Lan You was pressed to the ground, punched in the face, his head was broken with a thermos pot, and the corner of his mouth was split, but he still smiled and did not fight back.Those onlookers watched him being beaten half to death, and finally went to the dormitory teacher with a toothpick in their mouths satisfied.

When the teacher came, everyone let go of their hands, what to do, eating, washing clothes, only Lan You was lying on the ground, he didn't want to get up, or he couldn't get up anymore.

The laundry man walked by him, stepped on his right hand, said "unlucky" and walked away.

Lan You seemed to be unresponsive, his eyes were empty, as if he had lost his soul.

He was sent to the school infirmary. The injury was only superficial, his foot was a little serious, and the cartilage on his hand was contused. He looked terrible.

Fu Lin knew it in the classroom.

He was sitting in the class, and he was going to play with his friends. A buddy on the team said, "Are you still going to play? Your good buddy seems to be fighting with someone, why don't you go and see it?"

Fu Lin dropped the basketball in his hand, and ran out quickly without saying anything.

The classroom is very warm, with air-conditioning and heating. He was only wearing a shirt jacket. When Lan You saw him, he was wearing very thin clothes. The tip of his nose and cheeks were red from the cold, and he might still have snot, but he didn't seem to feel it. Feeling cold, he walked up to Lan You, patted his head and asked what's wrong.

Lan You felt sore in her heart, but she smiled happily.

Even if he was beaten to death because of this incident, as long as this person is still there, he will be very happy and satisfied.

No matter how Fu Lin asked, Lan You didn't answer, just smirked and said "it's okay". Fu Lin felt sorry for him, so he didn't ask any more questions, just sat quietly by his bed, took his left hand, and looked at him Scarred face.

At that time, Fu Lin thought, "I must protect him well."

It was half a month later when Lan You fully recovered. He went home to recuperate for two weeks, and then went to school, but found that his classmates looked at him differently.

And Lan You's punishment was also down. He was fined to cancel his scholarship for the third year of high school, and the whole school notified him once, and he had to do an inspection in front of the teachers and students of the whole school.

On the day of the examination, he deliberately looked in the mirror to straighten his hair and clothes, and then walked up the steps firmly step by step.

He said, "I, Lan You, Class One, Senior Three, made a review of the fight that happened half a month ago."

"I admit that it was my fault to take the initiative to beat people. I also want to apologize to those who were injured by me. I know that I have committed a heinous crime and cannot be forgiven by you. I only hope that you will never meet me again. people."

"The dormitory is a family. The moment I took the initiative to punch my fist, I was doomed to make a mistake. I also finally understood that when getting along with friends and classmates, we should love each other, help each other, not bully others, and not bully others because of our own superiority. Feeling and beating people."

"I was wrong, I shouldn't do it, I shouldn't get along well with my classmates, I shouldn't bully my classmates, I shouldn't blame others for all my mistakes. We are all adults, we should be responsible for ourselves, I After I swear, I will never make such a mistake again, if I do it again, then I, the bad guy, will be struck by lightning."

Lan You finished the manuscript and memorized the review like a lecture. He himself was a debater, and the aura of speaking made people feel frightened, but his eyes were full of sincerity, like a lamb that was about to cry, and everyone in the audience looked over. Regardless of the mist, I still feel that it is inexplicably wonderful.

And the few people who fought with him, whoever took the initiative to provoke troubles, transferred to another school for some reason, and the rest of them blushed and turned white in the audience, which was really good-looking.

Lan You said it sincerely, and Fu Lin nodded with a smile and looked at him, as if saying, "Look, that person is the one I like." In his eyes, it seemed that the people on stage were not doing self-criticism, but rather He felt very proud to accept the award

The price of pretending to be coercive is to step down and be criticized by the dean and class teacher together. Lan You’s left ear goes in and out of his right ear. This matter has been dragging on for too long, and the school doesn’t want this kind of vicious incident to continue. He just accepted it for a while and mixed it up. Double reminders were approved to return to work.

Lan You didn't go back to class, and stood alone in the corridor, listening to the sound of the teacher's lecture, listening to the sound of students reading, and looking at the sky.

There was someone behind him, and he knew who it was without turning around.

"I think I'm doing the right thing," he said.

The person behind said, "I also think you are doing the right thing."

He said "I'll never fight anyone again"

The person behind said, "I won't let others have the chance to beat you again"

he said "ok"

The man said "Let's go back to the classroom"

Fu Lin took him by the hand and sent him to the door of the classroom. There was surveillance in the corridor, and he didn't know when the teacher and director would watch. Fu Lin kissed him on the forehead and let him into the classroom.

Lan You sat down and looked at the dream that was closed a little bit, the people outside the door became narrower and narrower, and finally disappeared.

But he knew that he was always there.

Lan You looked at his phone, it was almost twelve o'clock, he drank the last sip of beer, got up, patted the dirt and walked home.

Unsurprisingly, it started to rain lightly on the road, and he was not in a hurry. He walked slowly, looking at the neon lights on the street, the signs of restaurants and the warm light of cafes. His world seemed to have nothing left.

When I got home, my parents were already asleep, and there were dishes on the table. Lan You tiptoed to turn on the light, looked at the plate of his favorite crispy meat and pine nut corn, smiled and went back to his room to sleep.

In the dark night, I don't know who sighed, as if I was getting old.

At 06:30 the next morning, Lan You woke up, still suffering from a hangover and a bit of a headache. He didn't drink much, shook his head, washed, changed into sports clothes and went out.

At seven o'clock in the morning, both parents were eating breakfast, Lan You called out "Dad, Mom", obediently drank a cup of soy milk, ate a sesame seed cake, and went out.

At the moment the door was closed, the parents might be discussing something behind them, whether it was tomorrow's breakfast or the price of vegetables, but it had nothing to do with him.

The air is freshest in the morning, and Lan You is too lazy to go for a run, so he walks slowly and walks to the park to watch the morning exercises of the elders and aunts, some doing Tai Chi, some playing flower sticks, and some dancing in the square.

An old man practiced calligraphy with a one-meter-long brush dipped in clear water. Lan You watched it for 10 minutes. After finishing writing, the old man finally looked up and said to him, "Young man, you can try it too."

Lan You's handwriting is strong, but lacking in strength. It's just that it shows its sharpness, but it doesn't have anything to support it. It looks a bit flimsy. In addition, he likes to use continuous strokes, but his family and teachers tell him to use regular script. The more I write, the more chaotic I get.

The uncle's handwriting is very good, soft and open-minded, but not boneless and rootless, it looks as light and handsome as water, Lan You also began to try to abandon regular script and write his own wild cursive, the uncle watched him seriously Write, say "Young man, the handwriting is good, if you write like this for ten years, I guess you have a future!"

Lan You just smiled and didn't answer.

Because he doesn't know whether to say that he has no future in ten years, or that he has no future in his life.

I practiced calligraphy with the uncle until after nine o'clock, and the uncle said, "It's hot, I'm going back too, kid, see you tomorrow!"

Lan You and the uncle waved their hands, sitting alone on the bench under the weeping willows in the park, watching the two herringbone characters fade and fade under the sunlight until they disappeared, but there was a faint trace left on that piece, and someone came over , also go around.

Lan You thought, life is probably like this.

We work very hard and end up with nothingness. Everyone will die, but when we close our eyes, even if no one will remember us, as long as we exist, there will be proof. Perfection is really too difficult, but this way Trying my best to struggle regardless of the next second of life, I think, I already feel very complete.

After all, I am a man with no future.

When I went home for dinner at noon, a 100 yuan bill was left on the table as usual. Lan You packed it up and went back to her room.

He took out the laptop from the drawer under the desk, which was bought when Fu Lin asked him to play games with him.

In fact, the two of them didn't play games much, they just played a video during the holidays.

Lan You's mobile phone was broken at that time, and the family made a plan to buy it after graduation. As a result, the mobile phone is still broken until now, and no one mentions it anymore.

The screen of Lan You's mobile phone is broken like dumpling stuffing. If a person is playing a video with him across from him, he can see dozens of you.

At the beginning, Lan You called me high-tech, and Fu Lin complained about it, saying that he wanted to buy him a new mobile phone, but he said no, but the guy delivered it to his house the next day, and when he opened it, he saw that it was a laptop.

Fu Lin said, this computer is good, and this is the one I use. It is very strong and resistant to falling.

Later, he quarreled with his parents many times, and this computer proved itself to be very resistant to falls.

Turning on the laptop and entering the password, he froze for a moment.

The password was set by Fu Lin, because Lanyou didn't know anything about computers, but Fu Lin had been playing games for many years, and he planned to start a game company in the future, bragging that he was very good at playing computers.

Log in to qq, and the space is full of swiping screens.

Retweet koi during the final exam, and retweet a foreign blue-eyed young lady who passed the college entrance examination, collectively retweeting pictures of all kinds of awesome people saying that he must pass the exam, and now when the exam is over, he retweeted the picture of Ge Youlie, saying what " It’s okay if you don’t pass the exam, and you’ll be a strong man again 20 years later!”

Lan You looked at his profile, and his name was still blue. At this time, the voice of special concern suddenly sounded, and there was only one person he was particularly concerned about, and that was Fu Lin.

Hastily opened, it was the news last month. On May 5, Fu Lin said "We will definitely go on", "Bless us all to be admitted to the university we want" and "We can go to the Netherlands to get married when we are 21 years old. "

It's a pity that none of these three sentences can be realized.

We can't go any further because you alone have gone first.

You can't pass the college entrance examination in this lifetime, even if I am admitted to the best university, I can only regret it for the rest of my life.

It's a pity that you and I are not 30 years old.

Holland, marriage, being together, our dreams, where are they floating?

Lan You deleted everyone on the qq account, quit the class group, and when he deleted Roy, he twitched in his heart, and then looked at Fu Lin's profile picture, a tree in a daze.

His life can only stay forever.

He could only stare at his head in a daze.

We are so powerless, because fate tricks people, I am powerless to resist, so I have to bow my head.

is it?

Lan You took out the USB flash drive and clicked on the folder. Inside were the photos and videos taken by the two together, as well as the MV of Fu Lin singing Happy Birthday to himself at the Christmas tree on his birthday.

After reading it bit by bit, Fu Lin who was smiling, Fu Lin who made funny faces on purpose, Fu Lin who was handsome as hell when he was playing basketball, and Fu Lin who was secretly photographed and compared to a victorious Fu Lin.

Click on the last video and watch him sighing softly on the guitar, listening to his familiar voice, singing the song "Lemontree" to himself.With his hand, he clicked format and deleted. From then on, his life is destined to be missed.

Those past stories will only dissipate in the wind.

I wonder how, I wonder why.

I'm at a loss, I don't know why.

Yesterday you were old me about the blue, blue sky.

You pictured that blue, blue sky to me yesterday.

AndallthatIcanseeisjustayellowlemontree.

But all I saw was a yellow lemon tree.

I'm turning my head up and down. I'm turning, turning, turning, turning, turning around.

I turn my head, up and down, I turn, turn, turn, turn, over and over

And all that I can see is just another lemon tree.

All I saw was another lemon tree.

In the next few days, Lan You went out every morning after breakfast, and bought something to eat when he came back at noon.

A few days later, he knew that the uncle was a teacher before he retired, and now he is still registered in the Calligraphy Association, and he writes in a fixed place every day, and has been writing for many years.

Lan You learns calligraphy every day, and sometimes dances behind the square dance, but is always frightened by the aunt's kind smile.

If you throw away the haze, your life may be different from now on.

Perhaps in the future, there will be more and better people on the way.

Lan You lost his mind while writing, and when he realized it, he saw the uncle staring at him with some "angry", so he lowered his head and continued writing again.

The author has something to say:

At first it was a feeling of confusion, of being overwhelmed.

This is just the beginning, just like our life, it's just the beginning.

Do you hope that Lan You will cheer up in the end?Or do you wish him well?

Let me see your hands!